THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

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Day Nine 9 April 2023

The urge to contact him has grown. Memories still float back. Tears are still here. Holding on. This will pass

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Day Ten 10 April 2023

Weird that it’s going to be two weeks soon. He reached out today for something that couldn’t be avoided (though technically, it *could* be on one hand)

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Day Eleven 11 April 2023

I have feelings of not wanting to be with him anymore becoming stronger. I’m not too sure what to think about it but I just want to focus on myself right now.

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Day Twelve 12 April 2023

Nearly half a month! Life throws it’s other obstacles at me. Be careful of who you choose to spend your time and words on.

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Day Three 13 April 2023

Soon it’ll be two weeks?? That’s a little crazy that I managed to get through those really really bad emotions initially.. I still feel it from time to time, gazing off into the distance, stoning about my situation. It’s normal. I just hope eventually he will come to terms with taking responsibility for what he has done - it wasn’t only me that was doing wrong.

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Days 14&15 April 2023
Its been way easier for me to handle this. If y’all don’t see me here anymore I’m feeling way better 🙂

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Day 23, 23 April 2023

Hey y’all, it’s been three weeks. Still feeling a strong sense of longing today, but I’m glad it’s almost a month. He’s looked at my social media and liked one of my posts knowing that I know I would see it. I didn’t do anything. It doesn’t mean anything unless he speaks or tries to change things. I hope I can look back at this in the future with laughter and ease. 

[Guest]

5 days since being blocked after an argument - I was unblocked on facebook yesterday....Though no reaching out or anything

Wonder if this is just a mind game or something 

[plantpotsticker]

Day 31 1 May 2023

He reached out to wish me good luck for something. I said thanks back ‘cause I felt it was rude to ignore. I didn’t break any rules for sure because he initiated it! 

[plantpotsticker]

On 4/26/2023 at 4:19 PM, Metalhead1 said:

5 days since being blocked after an argument - I was unblocked on facebook yesterday....Though no reaching out or anything

Wonder if this is just a mind game or something 

Are you still blocked? 

[Janeiac]

How is everybody doing? It's been years since the breakup that drove me to this forum, and I want to say, looking back on it all, I am so glad I kept moving forward and did not attempt to contact because I was, and am, so much better off without someone who made me so unhappy. He is so trivial and unimportant in my life overall.

When you are stuck in the thick of heartbreak it overwhelms your world, and you deserve so much better than a world of pain. Take heart and know that whichever way it goes you are better off. If your ex stays away you are better off being free of someone who doesn't love you. If your ex has a change of heart you have someone who actually wants to try. Stay strong for your own sake and that will make you available and desirable for someone who is good for you.

[Janeiac]

I'm sorry to see nobody seems to be using this thread anymore. Going NC with the support and guidance here helped me a lot, and I know it can help others, too.

[blackmirror]

On 1/2/2024 at 1:14 AM, Janeiac said:

I'm sorry to see nobody seems to be using this thread anymore. Going NC with the support and guidance here helped me a lot, and I know it can help others, too.

I used to read all part 1 and 2 during my NC and i made it to 3 month now 

This thread is magical and helps alot 

I hope people who are going thru a hard time now to follow it

[Janeiac]

On 1/8/2024 at 9:05 AM, blackmirror said:

I used to read all part 1 and 2 during my NC and i made it to 3 month now 

This thread is magical and helps alot 

I hope people who are going thru a hard time now to follow it

You are doing great! As you can see in this thread, you are not alone. KEEP GOING-- it gets better.

[Janeiac]

If you are going through hell, keep going.

[Cherylyn]

I'm going on almost 10 years of NC with a person who wronged and tested me sorely.  Pretty good, huh?  😉

It's definitely and adjustment to be sure.  However,  I've since grown accustomed to my autonomy,  freedom,  safe place and it's my new normal. 

I prefer to be with normal people.  Anyone who is high maintenance is too much work for me.  I'm exhausted.  I want my life to get easier,  not harder.  Bad people are out ~ permanently.  Best thing I'd ever done.  👍  ☺️

[waffle]

18 hours ago, Cherylyn said:

I'm going on almost 10 years of NC with a person . . 

 

Me too!  Ten years (ish), although the circumstances were/are different.  The relationship was brief, but still I fell HARD.  He basically pulled a fade on me and broke my heart -- I had been with my xH for 25 years so I didn't realize how this dating thing worked anymore.  We did, however, meet up for lunch maybe a year later and the connection was gone.  To this day I miss the conversations we used to have, and his unique viewpoint on the world and social issues, politics, history, etc.

I had hoped to have the sort of post-relationship relationship with him where we could get together once a year or so to catch up, but I guess he didn't want that with me.  My life (and my self as a whole) has changed SO much in that time, and I have reason to believe his has too.  But I'm not sure how I would reach out without it looking like I'm sniffing around.  Which I'm not, I'm very happily involved with someone else.  He did call me a maybe a year or so after I last saw him but I was on a date and I let the call go to VM, which he didn't leave.  I never called him back, and that was it.

Mostly I'd just like to show him that I moved on from him just fine. 🙂

[ShySoul]

On 5/28/2024 at 11:09 AM, waffle said:

But I'm not sure how I would reach out without it looking like I'm sniffing around.  Which I'm not, I'm very happily involved with someone else. 

Unless you start calling constantly, stalking accounts, contacting all his friends to ask about him, etc., it's doubtful he would find that sniffing around. Odds are it will appear just like it is, an old friend reaching out to get back in touch. If you want to reach out, do it for you regardless of what he might think about it. 

Personally, I get the point of no contact and if it helps someone lessen their pain then its great for them. And there are some people and circumstances that you should never get in touch with them again. But I also think there is a point where being able to talk to them again is the best therapy. It's that final signal that you are over it and have moved on. It's a way of closing the door for good, knowing they have no power over you even when they are right in front of you.

It's a different experience for everyone. Do what feels right to you.