KidInTheHall Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 A new day, I got very close to messaging her on Facebook today with a final good bye to basically tell her I was truly accepting us being over and moving on but as I was typing it, it became more and more of a plea for her to reconsider so I stopped and just decided no contact is still the way to go. I don't need to tell her that I'm moving on. Me not texting or calling her is telling her that. Link to comment
KidInTheHall Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Messed up, ending up texting her. regret it immensely. Almost 6 days right down the drain. Link to comment
saluk Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 It happens. Don't feel bad for falling down, get back up again and go 7 days. Link to comment
KidInTheHall Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Well I did text her again last night through Facebook, I asked her to block me as I was having trouble accepting her being gone and letting go. It shows she read it last night but so far has not blocked me. She knows how as she's done it before. I don't know why she hasn't. Link to comment
beanpot Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Day 39: Falling asleep is easy because I'm usually exhausted. Waking up is so hard because I inevitably wake up thinking about her. Without fail. Link to comment
rlhuk Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Day 39: Thought about him a LOT over the weekend and felt a bit sad. Absolutely no urge to contact though. It's almost half the amount of time I went before, before he contacted me. I'm feeling pretty strong, hoping I can finally get over him. Link to comment
blabla Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Day 1: I left my BF a week ago, and after I few days I contacted him and we saw each other briefly yesterday. This, and the fact that I was feeling like I was dying the past week, made me doubt my decision to break up. So now, I will try a not contact him until his birthday on November 9th. And if I still feel like it, ask for a do-over. So, let the pain begin. Link to comment
KidInTheHall Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 First day of a NC do over after I made a mess of things this past weekend. At my doctors to talk about possible depression. I can't sleep, I don't want to eat or work. I blocked her on my phone after a fight last night where I told her how I really felt about what she did. I told her to never contact me. Not sure why I'm posting. The NC is going to happen regardless now. No going back. Link to comment
saluk Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Firing napalm at the bridge may be messy, but should accomplish essentially the same thing no contact is supposed to Link to comment
TMifune Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Firing napalm at the bridge may be messy, but should accomplish essentially the same thing no contact is supposed to ".....smells like...Victory!" Link to comment
ntAgainPetunia Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Day 16 NC (after 7 weeks LC) and I'm feeling worse. I know it'll get better with time, but I've never been the patient type. Sigh... Link to comment
blabla Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Day 2: Still having the incredible urge to ask for a do-over. Mostly feeling pretty fine, but I´m scared that´s the hope keeping me going... I´m having fantasies about our make-up, which I know are unrealistic. Link to comment
jessie89 Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Been about 6 weeks for me (he broke it when he followed me on Twitter then messaged on Facebook to explain it was an accident) Link to comment
ntAgainPetunia Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Day 17: didn't sleep well, but AFAIK none of the dreams were about ex, so that's good. Possibly why I'm not feeling too bad this morning. Link to comment
saluk Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I had an epiphany this morning when I wasn't supposed to be thinking of her. There have been maybe 3 times in the past where I felt that if I were to press the issue, that she would give us another shot. The windows were open for a very short time, but I decided each time not to climb through. I decided that if it was me that asked for a second shot and she said yes, I would never know if it was what she actually wanted, or if she just went along with what I said during a vulnerable moment. The consequence of me not taking those chances, is that another guy saw that that window was open, and crawled through. I now get to witness what that looks like from the outside. And I have to say, I think I made the right choice. I did have a brief desire to talk to her and tell her this. That she is still just going with whatever her emotions tell her at the time and not thinking big picture. I wouldn't ever actually tell her haha, but I imagined it. The desire has passed fortunately. I feel like I'm on the other side of something. That could be just because I haven't actually seen her in a while. Something always happens in me when we are physically in the same space. Link to comment
rlhuk Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 Day 41: I miss being in love. real love, where you both love each other and it feels like magic. Sex is unfulfilling. I miss having someone to go for long walks with. I'm not sure I'm even missing him tbh, maybe I'm just missing being in love. Link to comment
misunderstd19 Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 3 months have passed by since the break up, broken NC and restarted it again.. 1 week in. I don't think I am doing this properly or for the right purpose. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope that he will come back, so I am not using it for my own good to work on myself and Im mainly missing the physical intimacy but bootycall would be a bad idea too.. what is my life right now. I don't even know. god help me Link to comment
saluk Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 3 months have passed by since the break up, broken NC and restarted it again.. 1 week in. I don't think I am doing this properly or for the right purpose. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope that he will come back, so I am not using it for my own good to work on myself and Im mainly missing the physical intimacy but bootycall would be a bad idea too.. what is my life right now. I don't even know. god help me Sometimes you have to do the right thing for the wrong reason. At some point I think it will really click that he's not coming back - then the real work can begin. Link to comment
beanpot Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Day 42: I often find myself wishing that time would speed up. I'm thankful for work, for running, for friends, for family, and for this forum. Link to comment
beanpot Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 3 months have passed by since the break up, broken NC and restarted it again.. 1 week in. I don't think I am doing this properly or for the right purpose. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope that he will come back, so I am not using it for my own good to work on myself and Im mainly missing the physical intimacy but bootycall would be a bad idea too.. what is my life right now. I don't even know. god help me I know... sometimes the misery becomes so intense the only way I can even get out of the downward spiral is to think about reuniting with her. It's a bad place to be. On one hand it keeps things bearable... on the other hand it means that there is always this baseline level of pain that isn't leaving. Link to comment
beanpot Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Day 41: I miss being in love. real love, where you both love each other and it feels like magic. Sex is unfulfilling. I miss having someone to go for long walks with. I'm not sure I'm even missing him tbh, maybe I'm just missing being in love. I'm glad I have a NC companion at almost the same day count Link to comment
rlhuk Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 I'm glad I have a NC companion at almost the same day count Just realised I counted wrong - that was actually day 42 and we are on the same day count 1 extra day - that's a nice realisation. How's it going for you? Link to comment
blabla Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Day 4: I´m feeling ok, no more crying, but I think of him 90% of the time. In the evening I´m completely fine, but every morning as I wake up the first thing that comes to my mind is him. I even think about the times in the future I could visit him, if we would get back together, but that is so crazy that I´m starting to scare myself. I´m still trying to figure out if asking for a do-over would be a good idea. And I´m scared that he would not want to. Then it will definitely be over. Link to comment
rlhuk Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Day 43: Still thinking about him. WHY has it all come back again? Not crying or anything just feeling sad and whistful and generally pathetic. I think one day, not any time soon, we will be able to be friends. I really hope so because he is the best person I have EVER met and I'd love to be able to meet up and do stuff with him. He is respecting my NC wish at the moment which shows that he respects me, which I already knew tbh. I also know he finds it hard not having me in his life, but I'm not sure whether that is because he wants me as an emotional crutch (unintentionally, because he hasn't got a underhand bone in his body) or because he actually misses me as a person. Hopefully one day things will be simpler. Link to comment
beanpot Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Just realised I counted wrong - that was actually day 42 and we are on the same day count 1 extra day - that's a nice realisation. How's it going for you? Haha oh how wonderful! It's actually really neat to see that we are on the same NC path... I can relate to how you feel. It's helpful to see that we as a species go through very similar thought processes and emotional struggles Link to comment
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