THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[blanche]

Day 1 -

(Broke up December 13th, got back together in March, broke up again July 3rd..Both times she left me and jumped into a relationship with someone else a week later)

No contact on and off - time to do this for minimum 60 days. I was thinking of doing it until her mom's birthday, November 4th.

 

Good luck to me

[blanche]

I know it seems really really hard but I promise it DOES get better. The longer you go without messaging them, the longer they begin to think about you and what's going on in your life. I've been through this before and I know this time it'll take a little longer.

 

The dumpee tends to go through the initial "break-up" feelings as soon as it happens. Denial, grieve, anger, sadness, etc.

The dumper tends to be happy and relieved it ended at first, maybe feeling sadness and regret but only a little.. within time, (a couple of months down the line) especially if they aren't hearing from the dumpee at all, they tend to get nostalgic and think of all the good times and start wondering.

 

PLEASE remember NCR is not strictly for your ex to come back to you. It is for you to get over them Work on yourself.. if after a month or so you still want them back, you'll be a more confident version of yourself!

[gone]

Day 9? I think

 

I've been reading on here that some people are doing NC in order to get their ex back, or they think their ex is coming back. That's not why I am doing it. I am doing NC because my ex left my life, after treating me poorly, and refusing to apologize or take responsibility. So I am moving on. I am working on my life and I feel content with that, because my life has value and I am a happy, healthy person who is very deserving to have love reciprocated back to me. It's not my fault that this previous relationship did not work out, and it's best that I just forget it. So NC really means, living the rest of my life without this person because he's dead, as a result of his choices, not mine. That is ultimately what it means.

[Hi Its Me]

Day 35 (or 36 as lost count)

 

Life truly does go on and new doors do open up, but I learned that you must allow them to open up! Hope this little sentence could help someone reading it as though the world might seem to be ending at first, it is just the start of a new beginning! Keep strong

[blanche]

Day 2 - Went to the gym yesterday and almost cried because it felt so great to blow off some steam. I can't get little thoughts of her out of my head.. Her new girlfriend is getting closer with her family and her family meant so much to me. I need to learn to let them go also.

I've blocked her off of everything I can. It helped. Except I didn't block her number.

I hope everyone is doing okay

[annonimus]

Day 10 - Today SHOULD be day 10, but I broke rule 5 since day 6, we've been talking since then, I'm much better cause I feel she is really jealous and showing some implicit affection, I would like to be talking to her live to be more sure what are her reactions. She says she want to be with another person too as I did, but I don't think she really means it. I'm also ready if we won't be together, my coming back was really fast, I'm feeling really ok and ready if we don't happen to be together again and I think she felt it on me, because she is giving me much more attention then she was before!

I won't be taking to her again, let's see how long it takes for her to contact me! If she doesn't, life goes on.

[stillgrieving]

An update...

 

Its been about 9 month since my breakup in December. Went into No Contact shortly after that. I remember how difficult it was to carry forward with my life. I remember counting the days. I remember sobbing in my car as I drove to work in the mornings.

 

So my advice... stay busy! Go out. Do something, anything. Go to dinner with friends, go to happy hour, go to the store and buy stuff and make something and bring the goodies to your office, do ANYTHING. You will soon realize that your life is better off without that person and someone better will come along. My ex and I always had issues with the overbearingness of his family and them always interfering with our relationship. Oh wait, I mean *I* had a problem with it. He could have welcomed his whole family into our bedroom. I don't miss him at all. I don't miss the aggravation. I'm just annoyed that I wasted that much time waiting for him to "change". He wasn't. He's a 36 yr old man now, never had a serious relationship before me and I swear all he wants in his life is to marry his mother and sister so that's fine by me. I couldn't stand that freak show of a family anymore and there was no way I was going to ever be able to tolerate it for a lifetime. So good riddance!

 

I am still waiting the man I met a few months ago my friend introduced me to a few months. Going 6 months strong! We have fun together.

[blanche]

Day 3 & 4 - Today is exactly 9 months since everything in my life has turned over and changed. We did get back together in March but only for a short period of time. I'm so much better. Going to the gym is helping and I've stopped going on all of her social media accounts and checking things out. I haven't been on her facebook since a week after she broke up with me the second time.. but her twitter & tumblr & instagram and everything else... I've kept myself clear from that.

I don't have my twitter or instagram private and I'm wondering if I should... I post things from time to time (nothing about her) but I like knowing she checks up on me and sees I'm doing okay (she has checked up on me, she admitted to it)

 

What do you guys think? Should I private it?

[gone]

Day 13 -

 

I feel a lot better this weekend. I feel less angry, but aware of the gravity of your abuse toward me. I feel scared for your next victim, but also relieved that I will never again be that girl (for you or for anyone). I have felt hints of excitement about finding the right person for me eventually. I am glad I live in my world now, where things make sense, and people treat me as I deserve to be treated. It's a breath of fresh air.

[Uthman]

No contact since August 8th

 

I'm feeling somewhat better but I don't feel confident and just contented

[brody17]

Day 74 - It gets easier but its weird. I still miss her and think about her, however I'm not thinking about her all the time. I'm over the routine of talking to her everyday now which most certainly helps. Only 16 more days to the magic 90, don't think I'll keep count after that

[trishlove]

Day 1 Of NC:

 

Okay, I cried my eyes out for four hours this morning. Now I'm back on track. Goodbye, X. You chose to live without me the moment that you broke up with me, so there is NO WAY I'm gonna be friends with you. You can't have your cake and eat it too!

[trishlove]

Day2:

 

Talked to a friend of mine last night and he did the honors of shoving reality right at my face. "Why the hell did he broke up with you just for THAT?" I remember him ask me incredulously. He then said that X was lucky to have my loyalty for two years, and even if I had my own chances and reasons of breaking up with X, I didn't. What he said last night made things so much clearer for me:

 

"If there's a will, there's a way. Clearly, X didn't find a way, so he didn't have the will. Guess what? If he didn't have the will, he just doesn't think you're worth the trouble."

 

It stung, but it did pull me back intro reality. I'm not a thing. I have feelings. I'm not something that X can just drop if he finds me too heavy. I also had the chance to ask advice from an ex from a more outdated relationship (our relationship came first before my last one).

 

He said, "X will regret it. I'm sure. God knows I did."

 

Can't wait for that day to come. But as of now I have to control MY life NOW.

[gone]

Day 18

 

I feel sad today. It is human to feel sad. I wish you hadn't done the things you did. So many things you did that I wish you hadn't done.

[Aeropro]

Day #7

 

Feeling content. Feeling like everything will work out as it is supposed to.

[gettingthere12]

Day 7. Broke up 2.5 months ago. Up and down but still fighting. Can't get the thoughts of her and another man out of my head suddenly although I knew about him a week after she left. Also the nightly dreams. Still pushing through though...

[Lolita79]

Day 53, broke up almost 6 months ago. I thought I m doing much better but last couple of days he was again heavily on my mind, not sure where is it coming from. Fighting the urge to contact him. I m not feeling too good and I m worried I will go back to where I was two months ago.

[gone]

Day 20

 

Life goes on. Mine is better without you in it.

[Kuala]

Day 80! 10 more days and another NC milestone!

[gone]

Day 21

 

I do miss you. Even though life goes on fine without you, and even though you mistreated me, I do miss you. It's OK to feel like that, I know. It's good it's been 3 weeks and it went by so quickly. Only 1 more week to go and it's so easy! Other people posting - can you please include how you are feeling/your thoughts and not just the # days? thanks!

[gone]

Day 21

 

I am also starting to see my fears and why I did what I did and why I felt as I did. I am not seeing this due to the bargaining phase of grief, though. I am just seeing things as they were. It is sad. I wish we hadn't lost each other, but I wonder if we ever should have found each other. It became too tragic.

[gettingthere12]

Day 10. After my failed reconciliation attempts, the feeling it left with me later...is all the motivation I need to never contact her again. I have absolutely zero desire to contact her or check on her. It actually feels quite liberating. We aren't on bad terms but I do feel some discontent towards her from her moving on so quickly. After which we made love several times since and I'm left to fend for myself afterwards. Yucky feeling but somewhat glad I went through it because it showed me I deserve better. We ALL do. The "zero desire to contact effect" has been since last contact which she initiated which feels good. Keep it up everyone!

[Aeropro]

Day #8

 

I cried last night but it helped. I hadn't cried since my birthday and I don't know why the urge hit me like it did. I miss the good things, I guess. I miss sleeping next to her. However, the bad memories are storming into my mind more and more. I miss the good qualities she had, but they were just a mirage. She was always, ultimately, a selfish and manipulative person. Her "good side" wasn't real.

[Aeropro]

Day #9

 

Today I am indifferent. I'm just tired of everything with regards to her and while I accept the fact that we're over, I am exhausted from being upset about it. I'm exhausted at thinking of what will happen next. I feel that I am just waiting for her to make some sort of move (though I do other things in my spare time) and I understand that I need to control my thoughts better. I don't feel like dating. I don't feel like talking to the other women available to me. I feel like isolating myself and healing.

[Lolita79]

Day 54

I broke no contact via whatsapp. He replied almost immediately. The chat was just friendly banter, no talks about the past, us or his current relationship status so I m no wiser as to how he feels. He did give an impression he wanted the chat to last longer, which I was kind of nice. It kind of gave me hope again. It might be false hope though. The time will tell.