THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[brokenhearted1]

Day 8...

 

I got to go out with a friend last night..it helped a little that I wasn't just sitting in my apt thinking. When I woke up today I went over that last day I saw him, and how cruel he was. It still hurts, but I feel that I am coming to see each day that I am better off without him.

 

That great person I had so much fun with is a part of him that I love. But that cruel, and heartless person is also a part of who he is...and I can't love that side.

[lyla2013]

That great person I had so much fun with is a part of him that I love. But that cruel, and heartless person is also a part of who he is...and I can't love that side.

 

I feel the same...

[brokenhearted1]

I feel the same...

At least we are not alone

[Janextacy]

Day 4.

 

It feels like its been months since i spoke to him. I miss him. But i guess im better off without him. I just refuse to accept it. Lol. Anyways im not gonna say im not feeling better. As the days go by i start to feel a lil more better than before. I just hate feeling soo lonely. All i think about really if he thinks about me

[lyla2013]

Day 8

 

I think about him less today, because it was a very busy working day, and i was thinking more about my trip to his country (I finally decided not to tell him).

Unexpectedly, I got a short email from him in the evening, telling me that our favorite movie was shown on TV yesterday, which made him sleepless the whole night.

 

What? After all these days, he just threw me an email like this out of nowhere, ignoring again all my unsolved questions.

So what about all these pains that i felt, what about all these tears i shed for him? Does he feel my pain? Does he even care? What does he want?

How could he leave me desperately in pain for all this time, and suddenly remembers me so randomly like nothing has ever happened? I seriously don't get him.

 

It must be a bait again, like all the previous times.

He threw a bait, i bit, he left.

 

So i am not going to write back, not this time, until he could come to me and explain everything well.

[JUJ]

Well, I have started NC nearly 3-4 times before and posted here and broke it every time he contacted for some reason or even me contacting him for no serious reason. I really don't know what is the status of my relationship and I don't want to cry over it al my life...so I am going to try NC once again....every time I take up NC I feel kind of light in the head for first few days but then again I become restless and tempted to contact him for some or the other reason.So I am going to start NC again from tomorrow...cause its midnight already. I am going to keep trying until I go NC for at least 1-2 months.

[mysty]

I'm on day 7 of the No Contact only joined yesterday. I started last week but broke mine after 3 on Thursday when I rang him and he hung up then texted him what I wanted to say it was just me saying sorry for what I said that he said hurt him. He didn't reply. So I had to restart have so I'm on day 7. It's so hard everyday I feel differently sometimes I can't decided I want him back or not. Today I've been thinking about him so much so hard not to contact him but I keep telling myself I need to to give him space if I want any hope of us getting back together. We were only together a month but our chemistry was intense and we had a deep connection. I've been thinking all today what if I never get him back and it's scary. I still don't know why we actually broke up. I deleted his number off my phone has I keep looking at him on whatsapp getting worried if he's texting someone else it was driving me crazy. I still have it saved online.

[brokenhearted1]

Day 9 for me..

 

I am trying to get a job out of town which has taken some of my focus. Moving would be a good thing for me right now. I know that if I talked to him...he wouldn't ignore me...and if I wanted to try and work on things...he probably would. But I keep reminding myself I am better off without him...

 

I AM BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM

[emmlou]

Well I have made it to day 3 and a half! I'm actually feeling quite positive tonight. Was so so angry this morning but have spent the day with a pretend smile on my face which eventually turned into a real smile. I still have an ache in my heart and a deep longing for him but I know I can do this. I am strong. I can be even stronger. Positivity is the key for me. I'm either going to get this boy running back to me and begging for my forgiveness or I am going to find someone even better to give all of my love to.

Hope everyone is staying strong. Good luck!

[TheD87]

I am well over a month, probably close to 2 and I casually dated a girl for about a month between so I wasn't counting or thinking about it anymore. But I found out yesterday that my ex was very likely cheating on me while we were dating and now I have the urge to contact her and tell her off. I was never anything but nice to her, and she kind of took advantage of that and now I kind of want to let her know that she hurt me and that I was wrong about her and how she is awful for the way she treated me. But I know I am better off long term just keeping the no contact with her and keeping her out of my life. I wish I didn't find that out because I was almost completely over her and stopped thinking about her except for the occasions where a friend or family member would ask me about her who didn't know we had broken up.

[bwhite00]

day 11 no contact almost broke down and e-mailed or called yesterday. didn't do it. felt better after.

[lyla2013]

I'm either going to get this boy running back to me and begging for my forgiveness or I am going to find someone even better to give all of my love to.

 

I should do the same.

 

His email is bothering me. There were serveral times when I almost replied to his email. I am glad that I didn't.

 

There is no point to reply. He can't just pretend nothing has happened. What does he expect me to do? I've already tried hard enough, I've given him plenty of chances to explain, but he never cared to explain well, and I guess he never will.

I still have many question marks about him. I can't afford to be played by him one more time.

If he wants me back, show some efforts, show some sincerity. Don't throw an email with ambiguous information. I want a honest man, not a tricky one.

 

He's not worth it. Yes, I am better off with him.

 

Day 9 for me.

[Janextacy]

Day 5 for me.

 

I wake up everyday feeling alot better and now i have a way more positive attitude. Especially accepting the breakup. I feel free. I have a positive attitude towards everything. Now i feel like theres someone out there who will treat me better and not put me thru all this. I've been doing cardio and a nearby gym which helped alot with the stress. Keeping yourself extremely busy really helps in not thinking about the break up!

 

I did see him yesterday with his new girlfriend it did bother me alot but i played it cool. Ill find the one in the future right now its all about me!

[brokenhearted1]

Day 10...

 

He texted me today saying he's sorry and how big of an ahole he is. I didn't respond, but I have read that text like ten times. I do wonder what made him come to that realization, and this is where the hard part comes in...ignoring him when he is talking to me.

[mysty]

Day 8 went slightly better went to the gym to clear my mind , I still think about him trying to keep strong and not contact him.

[lyla2013]

Day 10

 

He's so disappointing. Nothing from him any more. Remember it's weekend now, he's probably doing whatever he's doing on his mysterious weekend as usual.

I still think of him, but it hurts less. I rather feel angry and disappointed.

I know that deep down I still harbor a small hope that he would come back and explain everything.

But how could he explain everything well? How to explain why he has moved on to other girls? To make sense of everything that he has done to me, it sounds like a miracle.

 

I wish I could come to the stage of acceptance very soon.

[Janextacy]

Day 6 for me.

 

I still miss him not as much as before. I kinda feel free. And a bit happier. Maybe some alone time is wat i really needed. Only thing i hate is that he hangs out with his girlfriend on my block. No respect watsoever. But im good. I will find better. In the meantime im working on making myself a better person.

[mysty]

Day 9

I was doing well not thinking about him still keep hoping I'll get him back. Then I started missing him a lot this evening added his number back to his phone was so tempted to text him and I kept looking at his whatsapp photo it was driving me crazy so I deleted his number again . I keep telling myself I just have to at least go 30 days without contacting him then maybe they'll be a chance to talk and if I break the no contact rule now I have to start again which means longer without contact. I just wish I knew why he broke up with me in the first place that is whats bothering me the most.

[bwhite00]

Day 12. I will most likely get her back at some point in the future... could be months... not investing any hope/energy/effort at this time.

[lyla2013]

Day 6 for me.

 

I still miss him not as much as before. I kinda feel free. And a bit happier. Maybe some alone time is wat i really needed. Only thing i hate is that he hangs out with his girlfriend on my block. No respect watsoever. But im good. I will find better. In the meantime im working on making myself a better person.

 

It's the same for me. He's seeing other girls "in front of my face". He sent me an email telling me that he couldn't sleep after the TV showed our favorite movie, but then he went on talking chatting exploring other girls, and disappeared again on his mysterious weekend.

What kind of person does that?!

Why would he even send that email, What does he want from me.

I feel like I was played. Perhaps, actually he just needed me for the time when he's alone. It seems like it. Why am I so blind? I have put all my hopes on this person, i was so desperate when i lost him, never thought he would turn out this way. Such a sneaky person...

 

 

I am glad that i didn't reply to his email thanks to NC. I am so sure now that it's just a bait.

I feel hurt again, angry, disappointed and regret.

I wish I had never met this person in my life.

[js0905]

Hi Lyla,

 

Well I failed horribly... =(

So you know that I had gone 28 days but since he contacted me on day 23 I waited 5 days and contacted him.

He had answered right away on that day but then 9 days went by and I hadn't heard again.

 

So I sent him some cute pic's of me at this Park I had gone to a couple of weekends ago. Yes I'm an idiot....

Regardless I asked him if he had been there and just told him I was thinking of him.

 

He replied that the place was beautiful like me and added a smiley face.

 

Then an hour later told me he he was ok and how was I doing?

Went on to tell me he missed me so much and other stuff.

 

Hadn't even asked him questions so I was happy about him just bringing up all of these things.

Never mind he still hasn't apologized =(

 

I went on to tell him I missed him too and well I thought maybe things will start moving forward.

Was counting on him contacting me again the next day, yesterday or even today but nothing.

 

Refuse to contact him again now the ball is in his court.

Restarting NC again and now I wont reply unless he apologizes and understands he needs to make some kind of damn effort.

I suppose this would be day 3 again or do I count from today which is the time frame I projected he should have contacted me by??

Not sure anymore, I will let it be day 3...

 

You are doing so well and you should be so proud of yourself.

Something I read that makes sense and I wish I would remember for myself -

 

Don't make someone a "priority" when they are treating you like an "option"

 

I also wish I hadn't met this person but at the same time I do believe that there is a reason for everything.

There is always something to learn from every relationship good or bad.

 

So hang in there and remember how strong you are, now you are days ahead of me ; )

[lyla2013]

Hi JS,

 

It's ok to be back to zero and start NC all over again.

I understand how difficult it is to let go. You just wanted to make sure if there's still any chances there for you two, so that you won't need to wonder what-if in the future, you won't have regrets.

In my opinion, it was not a setback, it was just a part of the process we all need to go through in order to really move on. I've been there too, I've tried and tried so hard, but the results were not good. Now i am almost sure that he's not worth it.

Sometimes, we just need to learn it the hardest way to accpet that things are plain over.

 

I know it is too strong to say "I wish I had never met this person in my life", i also believe everything happens for a reason and we ought to learn something from it.

I just feel so hurt. I feel cheated and betrayed. It's just that i regret something that i have done because of my blind trust in him, it makes me feel really bad. But I will learn to forget, that's all i can do now.

 

Yes, we should never again to make someone our "priority" when they are treating us like an "option".

At least it's good to realise now that we are just one of their options, so we can take our leaves without regrets. It's their losses!

 

Actually I am not proud to be ahead of you. I rather wish to be back to be zero if i can have him back (i mean have him back as a good person)

but i know that i've tried everything i could, he's not worth it, that's why i can do this now. I am doing it for myself to heal.

 

Bon courage for all of us. Let's do this together.

 

Day 11 for me.

[emmlou]

Day 6 for me and I am hurting so badly today. Yesterday we were on the same train as each other for a whole hour. He was 2 meters away from me and he completely blanked me. I was actually ok with it. In fact it gave me a feeling of power. It sort of felt like he was being as affecting by this as I was. I was on the phone to a friend for most of the time and was laughing and generally acting fine. That made me feel good. As time went on I toyed with the idea of contacting him to tell him how much that hurt and that I thought it was pathetic but to say I forgive him because my love for him is unconditional. I decided not too though even though part of me thinks it would be a good idea because I know how much he hates upsetting me.

Today I feel awful. I miss him so so much. I can't believe that he doesn't miss me as much. I know I saw true love in his eyes right up until the end.

[js0905]

Day 5 "again" amazing that I had "28" days once not long ago and then he most of been bored and reached out on day 23. So I thought about it for 5 days and responded.

(I regret that now but there is no taking it back and now I'm back to 5...)

 

I keep on reading things online trying to make myself understand or feel better???....LOL!!

It really is just so damn ridiculous and exhausting. I know he doesn't deserve all of this energy I'm pouring out when I think of him everyday almost in an hourly basis.

 

Let's see what did I just read that kind of made sense to anyone that is trying to do NC.

 

"Relationships are hard, people say. Yes, every individual is different, with different needs and timetables. But I say f--- that. Relationships shouldn’t be that hard.

 

You are a square peg. He is a round hole. Why are we trying to make our lives fit when they are different shapes?

 

If a guy likes you, he will go out of his way to show you. If a guy wants to keep you, he will go out of his way to keep you. If other things are a priority in his life other than you, then he won’t.

 

So then you will want to accommodate his schedule, his moods, his whims to stay in his life.

You’ll call this “being understanding.” You’ll think it’s timing, that soon enough he’ll “grow” or “wake up” or finally realize how wonderful you are, that you’re the one who has always been there through thick and thin. Newsflash, he most probably won’t."

 

I have to face the fact that because I have been so nice and accommodating to him, he actually now has lost respect for me. He now believes he can do whatever he wants and I will still be here.

 

The worst part of it is that some people are easy to get over it may take a day or two. Then you find someone who has changed things about you in different good ways and then no matter how hard you try, you just can't say "Goodbye".

 

My problem is that at this time I'm certain he knows what I want and how little it really takes to make me happy but still he can't or wont do it.

I keep on making excuses for him like maybe I haven't explained exactly what I want from him and that is why I'm not getting it?

 

Obviously that is crap that I'm feeding myself so I can contact him again. He is a very intelligent guy actually and knows what he is doing and obviously doesn't care.

 

After I replied 5 days later on day 28 he texted me back within 9 minutes. I took that as a good sign but then didn't hear back from him for 9 days and that is only because I contacted him. Yes I'm ashamed to say it but I sent him a "Thinking of you text" with a picture of me and an "I hope you are doing well" ending.

Just thought that way I'm not asking anything and if he doesn't want to respond then he doesn't have to and I'll know he doesn't care.

 

He did reply and we texted back and forth for a while, in between those texts he said he missed me like three different times. I left it at that with his last text and now we are at 5 days since I heard from him. What does that tell me?? Those were just words which are easy to say but there is nothing backing them up.

 

So now I say "If they don't chase you when you walk away keep walking and don't look back"....

Let him go, get him our of your head; remember you’re not in his.

[lyla2013]

Day 12

 

Again weekend is horrible.

I tried to go out to a park today, alone sadly; but it's better than staying at home alone.

It did cheer me up a little bit.

 

I still think of him quite often, wish that he was the one i used to know, but obviously he isn't, such a pity that he isn't, how i wish he was...

Just let him go... please start to focus on myself...