THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[rockette]

I failed once again, what is wrong with me??

 

He broke the nc and i responded, one thing led to another i ended up sleeping with him-again!

 

Its like he is my drug and i am so addicted to him, i know that if he leaves me alone i wont ever contact him but will he ever leave me alone? Probably not when i am jumping to his commands. I may actually need therapy for this

[elle12]

my guy won't break NC with me...which is super depressing even though I know I'm trying to do NC for me.

[IAmFCA]

... and today's work mail brings with it pictures of he and I at a holiday party. fabulous. do I mail one of them to him? No, I do nothing, at least not until the path of what I do becomes brilliantly clear. why now do the pics arrive??

[kelvenna]

I broke nc and responded. I feel terrible. I said I was doing okay and he started rambling about his new job and school. I said all of 6 words and it seems to hurt even more. So I guess this is day 2. I took his things and stuffed them in the closet.

[Luscious321]

Sure, I'll participate.

 

Day 1: She sent me a text regarding financial logistics, since we only broke up a few days ago. I responded, though not immediately. In fact, I didn't want to respond at all, but seeing as how money was involved, I thought it immature not to at least send a simple, emotionless text. Then I treated myself to Starbucks and new clothes - a date with myself, basically. It's really, really hard to not want to check in on her social accounts, to ignore the urges to see if she misses me or is worse off without me. But I need to stay resolute. I'm alone. Much of my life will be spent alone. At least I enjoyed it with someone else for a bit. Now it's time to focus on me.

[MajinGuu]

1 week and 3 days.

 

Hitting rock bottom turned out to be... So good for me?

I can only look up now and I feel so different, I just feel like myself again and I haven't felt this positive in forever.

I felt so dead inside at first, completely empty, but slowly I've been raising from my own ashes. I obviously still have my down times because I had really intense feelings for my ex and I was convinced that we were meant to be, but overall, I'm okay.

I'm eating normally, I'm sleeping normally, I go out a lot, I'm always active, I'm talking to good people... I'm okay.

There are other difficult things in my life at the moment but I know none of this is the end and I'll keep doing what I've always been doing, I'll work everything out and it will be fine.

[rockette]

my guy won't break NC with me...which is super depressing even though I know I'm trying to do NC for me.

trust me them contacting you isnt good,every time i start to feel that i can do this he re-appears only to f off once again, im actually hoping he doesnt contact me now, i just want to get some time and distance between us so i can be stronger if he ever re-appears again. x

[kelvenna]

Rockette is so right. Every time they contact you feels like steps backwards, and you feel awful when they just disappear after. I was 21 days and actually starting to feel upbeat and positive, then I responded to his messages and it's Day 3 and it feels like the whole world of hurt all over again. I know it's natural for human beings to have hope, but honestly, I wish I could just stop hoping, it's tormenting me that he "might" still care -- I try to tell myself it's over, I keep going, but somehow some small part of me holds onto that hope.

 

Day 3. Didn't sleep very well, but have a long day at work, which distracts me from texting. I deactivated my FB for the time being. I feel awful.

[Llola]

Day 4

 

Well today was really hard, it marked the day that makes it a week since we broke up officially. Today was very hard...I cried so much today and couldn't help but blame myself for everything. That maybe if I had just waited a few more days and stuck it out maybe it would of worked out, if I had just tried that bit harder I don't know everything seems to be creeping up on me. It feels like I could of done so much more even though I know I did a lot my mind is playing very harsh games with me. I know im suppose to be doing this nc thing but what makes it hard is that I don't think my ex is even thinking about contacting me...he's probably just fine and that kills me. I hope nc helps me move on quicker because this feeling is soooo horrible. I got final exams next week and I just can't seem to focus. This is horrible!

[Liva]

Day 6

 

He finally responded to my text messages (asking whether he would like to have a face-to-face talk). He said he didn't know how to reply, I was surprised. I said I wanted to see him one last time, even though it might be the time when "the talk" will occur. M. is afraid it will make the breakup worse, because we'll be able to show our emotions to each other. I replied that I've slowly prepared myself for a breakup and that I've cried enough in the past few months. He was surprised to hear that: he didn't realise how hard it affected me, both physically and mentally.

 

Seeing him one last time is all I ask of him and if he has any affection left for me, it's a small gesture that would mean the world to me.

 

After that conversation I went out shopping with a friend of mine, but I wasn't really enjoying it. I kept thinking about M. and how hard the breakup talk will be. I often cried while shopping and even though my friend told me she didn't mind my desperate whining, I can tell she didn't have a pleasant day. She did tell me that I could go to her place whenever I feel like it: to cry my heart out and to hear her advice on things. She's great and I bless myself for having such a good friend

 

But yeah, I broke NC. I would start over again, but it's only a matter of days until "the talk" will happen. I'll start NC again when it's over.

[IAmFCA]

day 6

 

you are so not worthy of me

 

and you are so exceptionally talented

 

I think of you daily, yes. you no longer have a hold over me. I can tell. but it's still like addiction, every day, day by day, I am recovering from yoh.

[IAmFCA]

... and I am still tempted to send you pictures and/ or respond to your text. I have done neither. my friend is right. better to leave you alone altogether.

 

and, if it matters, my silence will communicate more to you than anything I can say. this last thought is one I am constantly trying to reinforce within myself.

[MajinGuu]

1 week and 4 days.

 

SHE FINALLY CONTACTED ME!!!!!! Even though I did ask her to delete my number and she told me she would!

It's just a breadcrumb (asking me how I'm doing) that I'm easily going to ignore though. I'm just glad she cracked.

[kelvenna]

Day 4. God, I miss you. Sometimes it's unbearable.

 

I try to fill my days with work but today is unfortunately my day off. I wish it wasn't. I just want to work and sleep so I have no time to think about you. When I have a day to myself my thoughts wander to you and contacting you. I want to write you a letter expressing my deepest feelings but I know it will just drive you away so I tell myself to stay as far away as possible.

[curda]

Day 1

It's my birthday today, pretty bummed that I can't even see/speak to her today. Last night she said she wanted space so I'm respecting that.

[kelvenna]

He messaged me again today, calling me by my pet name again. Trying not to cry. Immediately logged off of FB.

[chamachama]

He messaged me again today, calling me by my pet name again. Trying not to cry. Immediately logged off of FB.

 

Unfriend him. Less pain.

[curda]

Update:

My ex just texted me happy birthday. Would it be ok to respond? as of right now i haven't.

[elle12]

*shuffles into thread* he still doesn't miss me apparently. totally convinced everything we shared was meaningless to him. no contact is really easy now but it sucks. *shuffles out of thread*

[huanbrother]

Day 4.

Just found this forum.

Well I did delete all means of contact of her, but re-followed her Weibo(Twit in China) this morning. Was checking her status now and then and found she was quite upset with overtime at work last night, and caught cold due to direct expose to bus A/C...etc.

But I also logged out of my Weibo account on my PC as well as deleting the Weibo app on my phone. Trying not to look again unless enough time has passed...

 

Day 4, I am getting better everyday.

[IAmFCA]

day 7

 

I miss you?

 

maybe. I am really really enjoying me though. when you see me again, you will be conflicted.

 

I am now same type and better looking than the women you seek out for porn. I am your dream woman.

 

poor baby. I am GONE.

[rockette]

day 4 for the millionth time lol

 

 

it aint over until its ok..and it aint ok so it aint over!

 

one day it will be ok and then it will be over..regardless of the outcome x

[rockette]

Update:

My ex just texted me happy birthday. Would it be ok to respond? as of right now i haven't.

 

 

yeh just say thankyou ..no need to ignore a birthday wish.. that would be rude imo x

[MajinGuu]

14 days.

 

I felt a little bit down today because of her texting me and because it was simply a quiet day so I had a lot of time to think about it/her.

I'm feeling better now though and thank god this is the weekend... Gonna go out and enjoy my time.

 

A part of me still feels worried about her because I know she's not ok and I would always be here to take care of her whenever she felt sad, or sick, or annoyed about anything. And now I'm not here for her anymore. But she chose this so... I hope she'll properly deal with the consequences.

[fearlessgirl]

Day 6 is ending. millionth time of doing this but it is for real because I blocked his number and deactivated facebook. he has not tried to reach out. I'm sad. but im making it this time. I will sooner run naked though the streets than contact him again.