THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[yazc89]

Such an idiot... Made it til day 10, heard he wanted me to contact him so i did in all honesty i feel everythin i said needed to be put out there n i feel better. Back to day 1!!

[daniel93]

I was 6 weeks ago. I underestimated the effect this break up has on me. So now it comes to haunt me.

I broke NC by looking at her facebook. So I starting things over.

Day 1 is today.

[brickheart]

Daniel, you're such a purist... I only count actual contact as breaking NC. If I counted looking at his profile, I'd have to start over all the time, instead of being at 6 weeks...

[GrowingUp85]

Day 5

 

I'm getting ready for work, then coming home and drinking coffee and drawing more. I'm dedicated to getting my shop up and running. I know you are on okcupid and check it often. On one hand I'm hurt, on the other, I'm disappointed you said you wanted to work on you and not date yet there you are. Going into any kind of romantic situation right now is NOT healthy for you, H, but I can't stop you nor do I want to. I can't wait til I can contact you again, especially with the news my shop is up and going.

 

FWIW, my ex told me she didn't want any boys "for a while." 3 months later, on her birthday, I see her out with another guy. And she was out of town for 5 weeks prior to that. So yeah, I don't know what that means. Some people are just able to move on quicker I guess. Or need to find another significant other to fill their inner void. I know where you are.

 

While I'm loving the idea of NC, I have to ask. What do you do in 30 days time? Does ENA consider it ok to drop a friendly quick email or text message...? That's not clear.

 

For me, it's been 36 days. As someone else mentioned, I feel like it's just a goal. Something concrete rather than just "I''m going to do NC." If you feel like you're ready to make contact, and think that it may be well received, drop the quick email or text message. Personally, I'm not there yet, as I feel like I'll probably only be ignored. At this point, I'd like to make it a few more months of NC. I guess I'm hoping that she reaches out first, although she hasn't initiated contact in 5 months, so at this point, I think it's just wishful thinking.

[adyghost]

Day 4

 

Since I started NC I've been thinking about her MORE in fact, is this abnormal? Ugh...

[Redtide]

It is not, Adyghost. For H and I, we texted eachother at least once an hour... for years. I know for a fact he also feels paranoid, lonely and depressed. The line has been cut and we are both suffering for it. Only difference is HE initiated it so the power is really HIS to stop it. Try to do it for a few days, it DOES get better.

[NjoyStick]

It's totally normal to start thinking even more about the ex when in NC, the first period of NC is like that but after a while like in my situation (over 3 months of NC) you think alot less about them, my ex even started to disgust me after a while, the things she has done and said the moment she dumped me...

 

But even though she did alot to hurt me the most hurtful way possible in my eyes... I forgive her for what she did... I have to forgive her so i can live on and if some of you can't get to the point to forgive your ex then the hurting will last even longer, forgive, they are only human and make mistakes... Maybe it was not a mistake to be dumped, it's hard and painful but they gave you the time and space to find the one that truly belongs to you, think about that my friends =)

 

The mighty NjoyStick has spoken... Again!

[leftme]

Have I broke it? I was on my facebook looking back (not for her) and a picture I posted of her is there. Her profile pic etc popped up (same as it was) and I clicked straight off it.

 

I think I'm good. Heart raced a little mind.

[NjoyStick]

Don't worry leftme, you can only break NC if you actually talk to her, if she talks to you and you don't respond back then you are still in NC, seeing a pic of your ex on facebook only makes your heart go *boing* but it doesn't break the NC!

[playstheblues]

36 days. It's not the first time I've gotten to this point in the last year. It's about the 4th. And this time, I am still thinking about him, still missing him with all my heart. But something is different. It feels much more final and I guess it is. We didn't even talk when there was a death in the family. It's hard to believe 9 years down the drain- and not even contacting anymore. And so here I am again. At 36 days, knowing that it will turn into 36 months, 36 years. And still, I miss him.

[crazyoflove]

Day 30

 

Well guys I made it. Its been 30 days. I dont think it changed anything in the way I feel. I still miss her but I know that she has to come to me if things are ever going to be ok. Did NC change anything between us? Dont know. She did send one message two weeks ago which I ignored. Lately she changes her online statuses (which is very uncommon for her, she does it once a year) on daily basis. They may be related to us. I wonder if she is trying to provoke me to ask her something?

[crazyoflove]

Just when I least expected it she came today to my office. Said if I could spare couple of minutes of my time whenever I am free. She also asked for some professional help (things for which I know she could find help somewhere else). During conversation she was trying to get close to me and touch me quite a few times but I was cool. I honestly dont know what to think of this. Somehow I feel that these are just breadcrumbs. What do you guys think?

[jsdeg]

day 7 .its been our longest time without contacting eachother.. he seems quite busy ,enjoy his work and parties lol.but i feel.i learn a lot from this relationship.if we can be together agian,i will be better ,if we cant ,i will be better with other person. .

Nc makes me calm down.to really think our relationship.

[Lightning87]

Day 26 - nearly at day 30 and reached the target. Longest we have ever not spoken. I don't know what I am feeling, relieved in some ways that I don't feel as bad as I did when we were in a relationship. Waiting for him to text or cancel or have another drama. In another way, I miss him.

 

Hopefully it will get easier and easier.

[Redtide]

Day 6

 

Technically had contact yeasterday. I tagged him in a photo on facebook... a piece of artwork he expressed wanting to see done even after the break up. He "liked" it, but we didn't talk any further than that. Feel like **** he didn't comment any further, and someone said on his twitter page a few days ago he was feeling "depressed, scared and lonely." This might explain his sudden need for an okcupid profile. Oh, H. What are you doing and why. You say you may want to date down the line, and then you do this, and then you don't talk to me. I'm giving you your space and it's killing me in turn.

[GrowingUp85]

Just when I least expected it she came today to my office. Said if I could spare couple of minutes of my time whenever I am free. She also asked for some professional help (things for which I know she could find help somewhere else). During conversation she was trying to get close to me and touch me quite a few times but I was cool. I honestly dont know what to think of this. Somehow I feel that these are just breadcrumbs. What do you guys think?

 

That's what it sounds like. Are you interested in reconciling?

[xmen777]

Saw her online today but I didn't initiate a chat and neither did she. She didn't answer my email from last Friday either.

[crazyoflove]

That's what it sounds like. Are you interested in reconciling?

 

I might be if she would be willing to change some things and work on our issues. But it doesnt look that way

[whiteoleanders]

Today I was at work and had an immense urge to text him to meet up. I texted a deep message and let out everything I've been feeling since the break up (Friday). Than I finally was happy with myself for the first time, just by writing out what I wanted to say to him. I never sent it, I just wrote it out. I am in day 5 of NC and I am feeling temporarily better after reading everyone's posts.

[GrowingUp85]

Today I was at work and had an immense urge to text him to meet up. I texted a deep message and let out everything I've been feeling since the break up (Friday). Than I finally was happy with myself for the first time, just by writing out what I wanted to say to him. I never sent it, I just wrote it out. I am in day 5 of NC and I am feeling temporarily better after reading everyone's posts.

 

Good for you. Keep the NC going.

[yazc89]

Day 1 again.

Just thought i would share a little of my story.

My ex ended so i tried to go nc n lasted 10 days, all of which i was upset, couldnt eat, wondered why he hasnt spoke to me, whether i should contact him...

I then broke nc by email, spoke to him on the phone, n thn argued through text. I got out everything i needed to n after him bein arrogant n horrable i gave him a piece of my mind n told him its for the best n that i now feel iv got sone closure. All of a sudden he wanted to talk about us n actually act like he cared.. Too little to late. I now feel like im the one who has now came out on top n feel know its the right decision n dont want him back.

 

Just think that you really need to be ready to go nc before you can properly. I will now be able to move on n have no interest in breaking nc

[Redtide]

Redtide. The 30 days is just a guide really, something achievable and a target to work to. NC is about moving on not getting them back or making them miss you. You have to decide at day 30 if you've healed sufficiently to resume a low contact friendship, but really I think you need a lot longer (hark at me... Why can't I listen to myself??? I'm the worlds worst at NC)

 

Do you want him back?

Of course I want him back. He made his mistakes and I made mine. If he tells people he may want to try again, why am I not allowed to think for a moment that may not be true?

[soul3n]

It's been... ~15 days of actual hardcore NC.

 

She dumped me right after spring quarter ended of University. So the beginning of summer I was dumped.

 

She had blocked me on facebook Aug. 10, and then texted accusations to me August 19th. I did not respond until a week after, on Aug. 27. It was a two-word response, but it was still a response.

 

Since my 2 word response, she's unblocked me on facebook, but we're no longer facebook friends. I have not seen her/messaged her on any medium. We're in the same group on facebook, so I do see her profile picture, but that's all I can see or have seen.

 

I feel like I will not see her ever again. I am still thinking about her. I visit this site frequently because I still think about her. I still miss her, even though I am realizing more that she was not the best thing for ME.

 

I have no plans to initiate contact with her... but in my heart I hope she would initiate contact with me. There is a chance that I will see her in person. I tell myself that I will treat her politely, and that's all.

[Redtide]

You ask me the whole blocking you, freaking out that you didn't respond to blocking you, and then UNblocking you to give YOU the chance to contact HER is her way of saying "I want to reconcile, but I want YOU to do it." That's me, I'm no expert, but that's the look of things.

[soul3n]

You ask me the whole blocking you, freaking out that you didn't respond to blocking you, and then UNblocking you to give YOU the chance to contact HER is her way of saying "I want to reconcile, but I want YOU to do it." That's me, I'm no expert, but that's the look of things.

 

Here's my forum post on it. It contains what she texted me on August 19th:

 

 

 

Everyone's been telling me to keep NC

 

I wish what you said was that easy. But remember, she was the one who gave up on ME and dumped me.