THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[happymeboy]

Day?? I cant remember but stopped counting some months ago Yesterday you sent about 20 sms for me to come to your home to celebrate your birthday BUT NO THANKS!!!! then you show up at my door at 1:30am but I didnt open the door...yes, i was at home Told you many times : when i say it is over it is over, no coming back on it so enjoy it and i wish you nothing but the best, honestly.

[lonelyheart2]

day 18 = You must be with someone else by now...I had a really naughty dream last night and it sucks you weren't here this morning when I woke up.....strangely it wasn't you in the actual dream...I take this to be a good sign .....obviously not on the sexual frustration part....

[happymeboy]

...and another call from you...i have been self grounded for the last 3 days to have this work finished so dont even bother...im not picking up, even if i was to be free

[Scuza]

Three weeks, awwwwww yeah! Feelin' good!

Weekend starts tonight with the bros! (No class tomorrow!)

Party tomorrow night, party saturday night! It's gonna be a good weekend!

Those mad texts you sent me may have phased me for a moment, but I didn't lose my stride!

[northpickle]

Slight weak moment going on, just missing your arms around me right now and to feel your firm chest against me, but I'm doing OK and I know the thought will pass soon. I am getting stronger, I must focus on your cold-hearted rejection of me. I don't need you but you did used to make me feel so good, I can't deny that. But you don't any more, THAT is my focus.

 

Also, my daughter is starting to mention you more now, 10 weeks down the line, she didn't mention you much at first, I guess that's because you only saw her once every few weeks anyway. She's starting to ask about you now, when I've tried to shield her away from as much of my hurt as possible. She really liked you and dammit, it creases me up when she mentions you because I don't really know what to say to her. And you've never asked once how this has affected her since we broke up. She's doing OK, by the way.

 

Stop playing the victim. This is YOUR doing. And you know I would have stuck by us through thick and thin. You just can't think enough of me and that is what hurts still.

 

EDIT (this was meant to be on the "Post here instead of contacting your ex" thread - sorry!)

 

I never want to go through anything like this again. My heart is for me and my daughter only now.

[jeepman41]

Northpickle it is ok to post here. It is still the NC challenge thread and that is exactly what you are doing.

[lonelyheart2]

Wow jeepman congratulations on 195 days of nc!!! Has your ex reached out to you at all?

[raton44]

I know how you feel...my kids are asking about my ex and my 3 yr old pretends to call him on the phone. I HATE IT! They've already gone thru my divorce and now this BU. It makes me feel terrible that I didn't protect them. But how could I have known?

[Ac0rn]

BU: September 30th (2 year 3 month relationship). NIC until October 23rd. Day 18 NC. 5 days since you got your new boyfriend. I actually find it funny how you can't live alone. What a sad life you have. I also came to the realization that I should have seen earlier that you having emotional affairs is chronic for you, since you blatantly told me while we were together that you started becoming interested in me when you were with your last ex and you chased me for 4 months after he dumped/cheated on you. So essentially, I was a rebound that accidently went well until you realized you wanted to fool around with other people. I was just the person who helped you through literally some of the toughest times in your life. Nice to know that I was merely a tissue to you. I don't need or want someone that treats me as her second choice. I don't need to be anyone's second choice. Good luck.

[jeepman41]

Wow jeepman congratulations on 195 days of nc!!! Has your ex reached out to you at all?

 

 

No she hasn't reached out yet but I have let go. I do think about her from time to time. She got with somebody shortly after the breakup. Don't know if they are still together or not. I do know that I have broke that emotional bond which at one time felt like an addiction.

 

If she reached out, I'm not sure sure how or if I would respond.

[Notagoodninja]

Going on week 4 no contact

This is the LONGEST we've gone no contact in FOUR YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[northpickle]

Northpickle it is ok to post here. It is still the NC challenge thread and that is exactly what you are doing.

 

Thanks jeepman, I usually save my big rants for the other thread!

 

I know how you feel...my kids are asking about my ex and my 3 yr old pretends to call him on the phone. I HATE IT! They've already gone thru my divorce and now this BU. It makes me feel terrible that I didn't protect them. But how could I have known?

 

Hi raton, I know exactly what you mean, not long before my and the ex started dating, her dad moved out of our family home. We had lived together for 5 years but the last year or so we weren't "together", it was just easier for my daughter and we got on fine, but just as friends. Her dad is excellent and sees her all the time, which helps, but it wasn't easy for her at first. And now she's starting to ask questions about the recent ex, 10 weeks after BU. He didn't see her a lot but she did really like him, thought he was funny and kind she said We can only do our best to protect them, I think I did the best I could. Hope you're doing OK

 

OK,

 

DAY 13

 

Another weekend, I hate the weekends so much still, my daughter is with her dad and I have all that time to fill. It when the "I'd rather be with you" feeling is at its strongest. Not that I'm particularly lonely, just empty I think. Are your weekends better without me in them? I wish I knew...

[raton44]

The weekneds I have no kids are the worst...I used to spend that whole time with him...I miss that the most.

[northpickle]

The weekneds I have no kids are the worst...I used to spend that whole time with him...I miss that the most.

 

Yep, I used to spend every Friday night all the way through to Sunday lunchtime with him...since the BU it's been a cycle of struggling most weekends, trying to get back to normal during the week and then another weekend comes and I feel like I'm back to square one! I've been out to bars with friends and stuff like that most weekends but can't say I've enjoyed it a great deal, I've had some good nights but underneath it all I'm still a bit miserable. And most Saturdays we would do something really fun, go out for the day, maybe stay in a hotel sometimes? Things like that. I really miss all that now.

 

WEEKENDS SUCK!

[raton44]

Yep, I used to spend every Friday night all the way through to Sunday lunchtime with him...since the BU it's been a cycle of struggling most weekends, trying to get back to normal during the week and then another weekend comes and I feel like I'm back to square one! I've been out to bars with friends and stuff like that most weekends but can't say I've enjoyed it a great deal, I've had some good nights but underneath it all I'm still a bit miserable. And most Saturdays we would do something really fun, go out for the day, maybe stay in a hotel sometimes? Things like that. I really miss all that now.

 

WEEKENDS SUCK!

 

sounds like you've been doing everything I have...but it's still hard and it just doesn't feel the same being with my friends knowing he's gone. I was so happy just knowing I had him, even if we weren't together on a particular day. I loved those weekends with him. So much, that I woul let my laundry pile up and not get the house work done! lol

[Muzatsu]

Day 5.

i miss him like crazy and I cant believe i dreamed about him. I never remember my dreams but i just had to remember him.

[lonelyheart2]

Day 19 - not really sure how I feel today, I don't need you and I'm definitely building a little bit more resentment towards you rather than lovey dovey feelings but why can't I shake that feeling that whenever anything good happens to me I feel sad that I can't share and celebrate with you about it. Do you have any idea how irritating you are?!!

[meowmix88]

Accepting the challenge today, but am actually on Day 9.

 

After seeing all the "I have the best boyfriend!" and "Spending 11-11-11 with the love of my life!" posts on Facebook, I cried today. It sucks when you feel the person you love thinks of you as unworthy. But there's nothing I can do but accept it and move on. Everyone says he will contact me again, but I feel they say that to be nice. I really feel it's final and it sucks that I don't know why.

 

My pride is helping me keep NC. I cannot take the rejection again.

[Melting]

I really wish I could be in NC, but as we working together it is impossible...... I have fallen into friendzone and I don't even want to be there!

[northpickle]

sounds like you've been doing everything I have...but it's still hard and it just doesn't feel the same being with my friends knowing he's gone. I was so happy just knowing I had him, even if we weren't together on a particular day. I loved those weekends with him. So much, that I woul let my laundry pile up and not get the house work done! lol

 

This is EXACTLY me too! Just knowing he loved me kept me on a high, although I didn't see him that much during Monday - Friday...

 

DAY 14

Two weeks since I saw you and you ran away from me. The first time we ever met we played pool (and you said that you fancied me from that very first meeting!) - you won the game. The last time I saw you, we played pool again - I won the game. I'd like to think that means something...

 

I'm one very broken hearted girl, Mr Ex. But I know I'll be OK

[lonelyheart2]

day 20 = I think the hope may be starting to die a little bit! Starting my healthy regime today too and I'm really looking forward to seeing the results in 30 days from now

[meowmix88]

Day 10

Feels like I'm back at Day 1. I'm angry and hurt all over again. Mostly I just feel ashamed and embarrassed that I allowed myself to believe he loved me as well. It makes it very hard to trust someone, even myself. I just don't know what I did to become so unworthy. It really sucks.

[tujna]

And one month after we spoke last. This time I am really resolved - all or nothing, no make-me-feel-good talks, no flirting, no nothing. I am already so much calmer. So many emotions in this last 3 weeks, wow, it has been a long journey. At least I know I can love again.

[AnnaN]

Day 8 is over

 

I feel much better but I did a bad thing tonight... twice! I got out with friends and I was passing by his neightbourhood by car. So I drove outside his house to see if his car was there, it was. So were the lights in his house and his bedroom (he lives with his family). And I did the same thing 2-3 hours later on my way home. I did the same yesterday, so embarassing...

So, it was Friday and Saturday night and he stayed in, he never wanted that. Maybe he was serious about being alone, staying at home and do his stuff.

I don't know if it makes me feel better that he chose the 'nothing' over me...

 

I'm never doing this again, it was risky, I might have seen him with another girl and I am not ready for that...

[forlackof]

I think that I am almost on day 60... there has been e-mail about rent and bills but just the amount that needs to be paid.

 

At this pt, after a 4 year relationship, I'm not sure if we will ever talk again.

 

I physically feel separated. When I looked at old pictures of us, I just feel numb because I will myself too.

 

The actual pain of knowing that someone that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with just walked away is still difficult to comprehend and makes me cry if I think about it.