THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Melting]

Day 4.... Can't get you out of my head!

[VictorVic]

I'm on day 57. First time on this thread. I cried today for the first time in a month. I don't know whats wrong with me but I can't see myself even wanting to be with any other girl. I have found myself fighting the urge to check her facebook or call her. I gotta keep going though.

[hpinky]

Doesn't mean he's not thinking of you, hpinky. Obviously I don't know your ex but some guys are more tight-lipped and outwardly stoic than others... they don't wear their heart on their sleeve, so to speak.

 

If you're hoping for reconciliation it is more encouraging that there's no other woman in the picture. On the other hand, knowing that there is (in my case) makes it easier to stick to NC, and move on. Frankly, I don't know which situation is worse... harbouring false hope, or being replaced.

 

He's definitely one of those types that don't show emotion. He himself doesn't understand his emotions, so hes told me.

 

For me I geuss I would rather harbor false hope until I'm able to move forward, if I found out he's got someone new I would be hurt. It's not necessarily replacement, but the thought of the person you love so much being happy with someone else would make me feel completely lost. I've seen him flirt when we were together during our stressful times post breakup, I saw him smiling with someone else and it tore me in two. When I confronted him about it he said that its at work and he has to pretend to be happy in front of others. Still I felt terrible.

 

I can only imagine what you are feeling about your ex destiny.

[hpinky]

Did you tell him the two of you were finished?

Imagine you were sort of close to your EX's parents. Would be hard.

 

Have run into people that knew me and my EX but hadn't heard we were through.

Would say something like, "Yes, I liked her too and wished it didn't end, but it wasn't my choice...."

 

Yep, two days after he broke up with me I called both his parents and confided in them. I asked them not to mention my calling for I didn't want to make things worst. They assured me they wouldnt say anything.

 

His dad saw me and asked me how I was. He even told me that I was looking good, and how he doesn't understand why my ex broke up with me. Without my asking he told me that every time they spoke the issue's never come up or mentioned. He told me that my ex most likely doesn't even know his parents know.

 

Which makes me wonder a bit...

[bebop]

REAAAAAALY BAD TODAY!!!! As bad as I was at the start of it all, tried remembering what had been said between us all of the good times we had were stuck in my head all day.

Even if i tried to take my mind of it, something else would remind me of her. Drained my battery trying to unblock her off fbook and checking out friends photos n statuses!!!

 

I thought I was getting better

 

7th day of NC

[hpinky]

REAAAAAALY BAD TODAY!!!! As bad as I was at the start of it all, tried remembering what had been said between us all of the good times we had were stuck in my head all day.

Even if i tried to take my mind of it, something else would remind me of her. Drained my battery trying to unblock her off fbook and checking out friends photos n statuses!!!

 

I thought I was getting better

 

7th day of NC

 

 

Hey bebop I know how you feel!!! Some days I can be happy and careless about the ex and other days I just feel so awful!! I've realized though that contacting him wouldnt make me feel any better even though it used to.

 

Day 8

 

I feel indifferent. I woke up wondering if he wish I was there with him. He probably might be and I'm curious but I won't break no contact.

[hpinky]

He called me just now, I didnt answer, then he texted me asking that I call him back please. I guess I broke no contact then because I texted him back asking what was up. He still asked that I call him back. Turned out that his car broke down and he asked that I go feed the cat, I told him I couldnt cause I moved away. He then told me that he's going to give the cat away tomorrow because he can't take care of it himself. I use to get really upset because of this but today I'm not as upset. The cat is going to go to a good home he assured me. So I guess this is back to day one?

 

Originally I did this to keep myself from contacting him, I told myself that I won't answer his calls but it was about the cat. I don't know. I'm just gonna start back at day one.

[ohsweetlove11]

Day 29.

 

Didn't even realize is but yesterday was 4 weeks to the day.

 

I've been dreaming about him a lot lately, so I wake up thinking about him, which sucks. But I'm ok. I can actually listen to our music/songs now and not get hurt. It's getting better. Really focusing on me. I go running/hiking every day now.

[bebop]

Don't start again, just don't count today as a NC day as he contacted you first, was anything else mentioned other than the cat?

[hpinky]

Don't start again, just don't count today as a NC day as he contacted you first, was anything else mentioned other than the cat?

 

I'll do that then and keep going on with my days. Nothing else was mentioned but the cat and his car.

 

Day 8

 

I'm thinking about what he said to me during our meeting at work that one day about how we'll fix things and that it's just not happening fast enough for me. I took that as him implying well get back together just not now.

 

Am I just over analyzing? I feel like he's messing with my head. It's annoying. I miss him still. I find myself thinking about him randomly.

[Chuck Bartowsk]

Been separated for 2 months now. Spoke about once every 14 days since and no it is DAY 14. The difference is this time I will not break NC. She needs to think I am gone for good. I Had a bad day today and missed her a lot. We always spent July 4th together for the last eight years. This just sucks!

[jeepman41]

I'll do that then and keep going on with my days. Nothing else was mentioned but the cat and his car.

 

Day 8

 

I'm thinking about what he said to me during our meeting at work that one day about how we'll fix things and that it's just not happening fast enough for me. I took that as him implying well get back together just not now.

 

Am I just over analyzing? I feel like he's messing with my head. It's annoying. I miss him still. I find myself thinking about him randomly.

 

hpinky, if this person was really wanting to get back with you they would be making a deliberate effort. You would know and you would not have to second guess or even to ask yourself that question. Sometimes when people love you they will mess with your head just because they can. They will blow hot one minute and cold the next just to see what kind of reaction they will get out of you. Until you see some real signs of them wanting to make progress don't get your hopes up too much. Remember that ways and actions speak more volume than words.

[hpinky]

hpinky, if this person was really wanting to get back with you they would be making a deliberate effort. You would know and you would not have to second guess or even to ask yourself that question. Sometimes when people love you they will mess with your head just because they can. They will blow hot one minute and cold the next just to see what kind of reaction they will get out of you. Until you see some real signs of them wanting to make progress don't get your hopes up too much. Remember that ways and actions speak more volume than words.

 

Thanks jeepman for your insight. I agree with what you said. I can't allow myself to break down everytime henplays games with me.

 

I was out today and left my phone in my car. When I got back I had a missed call and a text from him. I didn't respond to his text. He was just asking me if I was still in town. Before he couldn't even answer my calls and now he's contacting me more. He's initiating contact and it's making me stronger to see a big change in how he is. We went from him not calling or wanting to talk to me. I'd call and he'd not answer until I begged but now he'll call on his own. Text on his own. I'm not answering this time. I'm going to stay no contact until I move on and get over him.

 

Everyone whose given me their wisdom and advice and thank you from the bottom of my heart. You've helped me stay strong!!!

[destiny0791]

hpinky, if this person was really wanting to get back with you they would be making a deliberate effort. You would know and you would not have to second guess or even to ask yourself that question. Sometimes when people love you they will mess with your head just because they can. They will blow hot one minute and cold the next just to see what kind of reaction they will get out of you. Until you see some real signs of them wanting to make progress don't get your hopes up too much. Remember that ways and actions speak more volume than words.

 

Indeed, jeepman. My ex was all the time saying how much he "loves me, misses me, needs me" despite the presence of the new gf that he refused to give up. It screwed with my head big time. If he loved and needed me that much he wouldn't have done what he did, and if he missed me that much he would find a way of letting me know. So far, not a peep from him, and I don't expect one.

 

Day 29

 

Part of me wants to send him a message just saying I'm sorry for all the crap I put him through when we were together. I probably shouldn't, right?

[destiny0791]

Part of me wants to send him a message just saying I'm sorry for all the crap I put him through when we were together. I probably shouldn't, right?

 

It's ok... I knew immediately after typing that, that I shouldn't, and won't.

 

*Paul*, I told you from the start that it wouldn't be easy being with me, and it wasn't. But you bailed on me eventually anyway, found someone 'easier'. Fine, that's your choice. But I have to live with the consequences of my actions, so you have to live with the consequences of yours.

 

You will never, ever hear from me again. As far as I am concerned, you might as well be dead.

[bebop]

Day 7, Went OK today not as bad as yesterday thought about her but not as much while at work. After work went to play football then to gym for an hour, while in the gym thoughts of her crept back into my head. " is she happy? why am I trying to improve myself? she won't come back anyway! Should i text her?" didn't contact her as I can't.

 

Checked their FB pages when I got in neither of them have privacy settings, no posts from either of them in past week! Have they got into a routine now? I know they don't go out much she told me that and he always makes her tea at his rents house every night! They've only been together 6/7 weeks seems like a great relationship, never had her down as one to stay in every night! Or is it end of honey moon period and that's what they enjoy doing now??

 

Mates have said they'll cheer me up and find me someone new, tbh I don't want someone new and I don't want to improve myself I'm happy with life apart from the mistake i made of telling her to move on while I decided if i wanted a relationship, she certainly did that but says she still has feelings for me not seen her for 2 weeks or spoke to her for 7 days.

 

I've got it into my head that its a game where playing who will crack first! Even though I'm the only one in actual NC don't think she is bothered!!!

[betrayed911]

Day 25

 

I still cant say 100% im better but i noticed that when i think of her or when i get reminded of her the the stomach pain isn't as hard as it used to be and passes very fast like in a sec.I still cry frm time to time for her (yea weak i know) and actually want to listen to sad love songs-bitter stage?

I've quit smoking its day 3 now of that Having fun,getting drunk talk to girls,study,workout (when im not drunk is my life now.

I used to have big hopes about reconcile but at this point-being almost 2 months after BU-I don't think she will contact me for that,as a matter of fact she hast contacted me in 25 days so...I'm continuing NC,I'm continuing to NOT smoke,I'm continuing to workout,continuing to have fun,continuing to live my life...without you in it,the decision was yours-live with it!

[ohsweetlove11]

Day 30.

 

 

Made it.

[jeepman41]

Do you really want to get back with her in a relationship or is it just you ego talking to you?

[hpinky]

Day 9

 

At work right now. He's been constantly trying to talk to me about what he did last night and asked how my forth was. I kept things short because I wanted to be civil at work. He started flirting and then pointed out that I haven't been calling or answering his calls. I told him I've been busy and he'd start saying things like "busy humping your new boyfriend" and continued talking about how I'm busy dating other guys. He tried to play it off as a joke and I didn't really respond. He'd then talk about how he's not going to date anyone anymore and that he doesn't want any other girlfriend. He said he was going to just focus on himself. He's too confusing. I just wish he'd stop messing with my head. Feeling a bit irrated.

[destiny0791]

Day 30.

 

 

Made it.

 

Congrats, angie!

 

Me too, Day 30. Completed the challenge. Yay.

 

I don't feel jubilant, or elated... I don't feel proud. I'm just sick of the pain and I want it to go away, aarrgghhh! I don't want him back. I want him gone, from my life, from my head. Here's to Day 60, Day 90... NC forever.

[Mellie]

Day 1 for me....

[Nowill]

Its day 22 and still feel the pain in my stomach when I think of her , Cant seem to stop thinking of the past . Try to Focus on work and on myself , but always return to the same thoughts . Seems to be no more quality in my life , But one things for sure I will not break the NC

[Bella4]

Ok, well this is Day 7 of no contact with my ex.

 

He hasn't contacted me, he seems happy just getting on with his life without me in it, which hurts.

I have hidden him on Facebook as I am fed up of my heart jumping out of my chest when I see him update.

 

He dumped me, and has completely broken who I am. I have nearly bailed in this no contact, so this is where I will come next time I nearly fail.

I hope he'll start to miss me and regret throwing us away. But I doubt it'll happen.

 

I just need to move on, though I'm going to struggle for a while.

[Mellie]

Just putting your thoughts in an email WITHOUT clicking send can help. Save it. If you feel the need, go back and take a look next time you feel the urge to contact them. Maybe you'll build up a catalogue, kind of track your progress through the healing process. I do my best to just push them out of my head completely and do something that satisfies me in the meantime. I'll say, ok, I can think about them for the next ten minutes. If they pop back into my head after that I make a conscious effort to push them back out - wipe the blackboard clean.

 

I know the easy part is to type the email and the hard part is not to click send, but here's the deal. It's a swizz. The second you hit send you might have a little glow of satisfaction, but it's gone pretty quickly. Then you're left kicking yourself for losing all your control and dignity.