THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[ooshiegirl]

End of Day 7. I feel fine one moment, then just start sobbing the next. I'm still having trouble eating, I dream of him, and I just sort of sit on the couch with the TV on, not really watching. I feel so alone. I miss having someone to laugh at my jokes, someone who makes me laugh, someone who I can share all the funny little moments of my day with. I miss his smile, his laughter, his hair, his nerdy musician talk, and the way he made me feel so special. I'm finally flying back to his city tomorrow (where I go to school- I've been home for a month), and knowing that, a month ago, I was looking forward to coming back to him on this day is totally crushing. Now I have no one to go home to. No one to spend the rest of my empty summer days with (he was the whole reason I decided to come back before the beginning of the school year).

 

I miss him so much. I have to break NC soon to get my things back, and part of me wants to do it right away so I can see him. Which is exactly why I plan on waiting a few days, so I don't come off as needy, and to show myself that I can. Then it's back to NC. But man, I miss him.

[Eddie37]

Day 18. Seems like it's getting harder in some ways. I'm so anxious for her to contact me. I'm holding out hope that she'll come back to me. It sucks. I'm checking my email 100 times a day...waiting for her to say something...anything! When does this get easier?!!!

[UK Stu]

Day 18. Seems like it's getting harder in some ways. I'm so anxious for her to contact me. I'm holding out hope that she'll come back to me. It sucks. I'm checking my email 100 times a day...waiting for her to say something...anything! When does this get easier?!!!

 

Eddie, I am in the same boat, and the same sort of time frame as you. In short, I don't know....

[wildestkabs]

Day 18. Seems like it's getting harder in some ways. I'm so anxious for her to contact me. I'm holding out hope that she'll come back to me. It sucks. I'm checking my email 100 times a day...waiting for her to say something...anything! When does this get easier?!!!

 

Today is day 20 for me. I hear ya. Some days it is easier, some days it is harder. I have this very weird intuition that I am close, not very close, but close to hearing from her. Not sure why. I may be wrong and this maybe false hope but I have been getting this feeling over the last few days.

 

I think it will get easier, at least for me, when there is closure. Could be her coming back, me completely moving on, or me finding someone else.

[Eddie37]

I think the bottom line for me is, regardless of how much pain I'm in, how much I miss her, love her, want her back...I will not contact her. I just have to accept the pain and continue to move ahead. Contacting her would be the worst possible action I could take at this point.

[blueeyedme]

Day 6. Doing OK but I feel anxious today. Found myself just staring off thinking of her. Again, I'm just counting for me...in all the jacking around the last 2 months I think 7 days is the longest stretch of NC because I just couldn't not contact her...it bit me in the butt so many times and I am resolved to NEVER contact her again if she doesn't initiate contact. So I guess that makes me NIC because I could not ignore her at this point if she contacted me. I have no regrets because I know I did everything I could to keep us together. Yes I love her and miss her very much. I thought she was 'the one' but in time she will only be a fond memory.

[wildestkabs]

I will not contact her.

 

I am not doing that either. Won't go through the pain again.

[Man on mMssion]

This is my day 8. I'm starting to suddenly get cold feet...should I check on her? See if she's ok? Wondering how she feels...has she even tried to check on me? Is NC taking a toll on her as it does me? Did she ever care?

 

I know she's off work today as I go off to work this morning...what will she do today? Today is going to be a tough one.

[Animelover6764]

day 3

I still miss her alot

 

I want a second chance so badly

[Eddie37]

Day 19, getting harder. Every day I don't talk to her is another day she slips farther away from me...and closer to someone else. I have lost motivation to do anything. It's hard to get out of bed and go to work. She was my motivation. Now I'm just in zombie mode. Missing her, wanting her back so badly. I hope she contacts me. I hope she misses me as much as I miss her. Dying here.

[FrostPanther425]

Day 2. Eddie I have started NC and I have the same feeling already. Guess I can expect to feel this way for a while. I wonder if after 30 days later I will feel better or worse, maybe neither. I need to feel better about myself cause I feel like crap now. She is on my mind every second of every day. Since this is in the getting back together thread I assume that after 30 days you can initiate contact again if you are so inclined?

[brandnewday47]

Day 26... made it through the "2 year" date okay, so onwards and upwards now. Saturday will be day 30!! Only possible roadblock is a potential gathering on friday that she "may" attend. I'll know more in a few days.

 

I am actually slowly feeling better.. I've made emotional progress before, only to be stunted by her throwing breadcrumbs and me eagerly eating them, or me caving. Ever so slowly she is fading...

[HPZOOM]

I did 30 days. Then sent her a email yesterday, saying why I left, and why did you treat me that way, and disrespect me so bad, many times over. I wanted to tell her, to come back and fu** everyone, let's just live our lives together, but I can't. Everyone was in our relationship, she could not see it. She couldn't draw the line. I get tired of saying it over and over again. It gets better, but then it gets worst. This sucks.

[ooshiegirl]

Broke NC yesterday, after 8 days. Technically, he contacted me, asking for an address to ship my stuff to. I responded because some of my things I need right away, but I don't have an address yes (still looking for an apartment and living at a temporary address), so I asked if I could pick up my things or if he could meet me to give them to me or something. He agreed, but he was also very formal and cold in his e-mail, and he said he'd meet me in an as yet to be determined location with the things i asked for, and that he'd contact me. To be honest, i HATED hearing from him like this. He seems to just completely not care anymore. I understand that he's upset about the recent death of his dad, and he might even subconsciously be using me as an outlet for his pain, and I'm hoping that's something he'll work through, because while all I can do is focus on healing, I still hate the feeling that he's actually hostile towards me.

 

Also, now I'm faced with the problem of meeting him soon (I was planning on contacting him after a week if I hadn't heard from him). What am I supposed to say or do? How do I act? I wanted to tell him "I'm sorry for how things ended"- not really go into detail or anything, but I did want the chance to say that in person. Should I just avoid the past all together? I want to keep the door open for reconciliation, so I don't want to just be completely cold, but I also feel like it'd be stupid to just make idle chitchat. I'm not looking for a deep conversation, but this is something I never got a chance to say to him in person, and regardless of how he responds, it's something I feel I should say. And after that meeting, the NC resumes. Hopefully it'll be soon.

[Eddie37]

Have him ship your belongings to your temporary address. Certainly you can find some address for him to ship to in order to avoid a face to face meeting.

[Eddie37]

Day 26... made it through the "2 year" date okay, so onwards and upwards now. Saturday will be day 30!! Only possible roadblock is a potential gathering on friday that she "may" attend. I'll know more in a few days.

 

I am actually slowly feeling better.. I've made emotional progress before, only to be stunted by her throwing breadcrumbs and me eagerly eating them, or me caving. Ever so slowly she is fading...

Congratulations, man. Day 30...here you come....Day 45...Day 60...Day 150....

 

If there's a good chance she'll be at the party, don't go. You don't need a major setback at this point. I realize that you can't avoid her forever, but I think it's way too soon to risk undoing all your hard work.

[brandnewday47]

Congratulations, man. Day 30...here you come....Day 45...Day 60...Day 150....

 

If there's a good chance she'll be at the party, don't go. You don't need a major setback at this point. I realize that you can't avoid her forever, but I think it's way too soon to risk undoing all your hard work.

 

Thanks Eddie,

 

This is actually a work related appreciation thing as we have had an incredibly stressful last month. I don't know yet what will happen though I actually have someone who knows the situation and will let me know if they know anything. Trust me, I've been down this road before and I won't be posting Saturday morning saying "ughh.. back to day 1" - I fully know what I'm getting into. Heck I had to work in the same office for months (which is not the case now). The healing clock will NOT be turned backwards.

 

And yeah... I"m soooo looking forward to day 30... then week 5,6,7,8 and onward. Next possible contact - assuming there is nothing accidental - that I can see would be my birthday in about two months, I'll cross that bridge when it comes.

 

Thanks for the encouragement man, It's nice we help each other out here as we all go through these patches.

[blueeyedme]

Day 7...wow, a week. The day was ok but tonight just sucked. Was talking with a mutual friend and finally the subject of her came up which essentially worked me up for the rest of the evening. After all of the BS she has put me through, why do I still love her and miss her so much? How do I get to the point of indifference? No worries, I won't attempt contact - I like myself too much to risk that rejection again. I would like to say I would ignore her if she tried to contact me but that would be lying. I know I will hear from her eventually and wonder what my state of mind will be then. On top of that word is getting around that I might be available and while the interest being shown is flattering they may as well be invisible. The thought of going on a date repulses me. I am really damaged.

[blueeyedme]

Day 8 - I'm upset today. Not sure why, it's just feeling very raw - like I have regressed somewhat.

[Eddie37]

Day 20. Just finished work. First thing I did when I got home: cried. This sucks. I hate not having her. I hate that she's gone. This feels so wrong! I thought she was the one...I really believed it.

[benumbed]

I'm new here... I come from (and live in) a European country, so forgive me for my english...

We were together for 15 years, married for 3. I was happy and so much in love with him. 6 months ago for the first time he told me he was not happy and was pretending to be just for my sake. He can't do it any more. Tonight he told me that tomorrow is leaving the house. I feel awful, I can't believe it...

I start nc tomorrow, I hope you guys will help me go through this and survive

[Islandia]

Day 10 - Today was pretty hard - so many memories kept flooding back. Then I imagined her with her new guy and that got me angry and more able to get through the day.

[Eddie37]

Day 20. Meh, pretty bad. I cried when I got home from work. But the entire day wasn't crap, I had some ok times too. I feel like some realities are beginning to sink in. I'm getting more and more used to being alone and not having her to come home to, hold, talk to, all that good stuff. Pretty rough ride.

[brandnewday47]

Day 20. Meh, pretty bad. I cried when I got home from work. But the entire day wasn't crap, I had some ok times too. I feel like some realities are beginning to sink in. I'm getting more and more used to being alone and not having her to come home to, hold, talk to, all that good stuff. Pretty rough ride.

 

Hang in there, this isn't easy for sure. If your tempted to contact or anything, just remember this:

 

I made it to 16/19 days about three times and twice I broke it and caved, once she did. The end result every single time? I felt better for about three hours, then felt terrible again. This cycle went on for a while - thankfully we don't work in the same office anymore.

 

Anyway, think of it this way: You are the prize and if she can't see that, then her loss. Some lucky lady will benifit from the stronger you. Doesn't mean you have to be vindictive or anything... just that you are only reliant on you for happiness.

[wannabebtr]

day 1, trying to remember what my ex sent me a couple nights ago, for no good reason...

"f*ck you snoody f*cking spolied b*tch be sheltered more you f*cking fake ass nice b*tch. no one likes you and ill f*cking give the world to never hear from your annoying ass again. stop f*cking texting me and saying sh*t about what i do when i dont say sh*t about you. f*ck you, i wish you died in a fire. what i do isnt your f*cking business and every girl i f*ck ill put a middle finger in the air for you. piece of sh*t, classy but non classy snobby mtown cun*. die. fast. or slow. i could care the fuuuuuuuu*k less."

 

-->and just the day before he was saying everything he missed about me. thanks person who gave me a promise ring bestfriend/boyfriend of 1 1/2 years.