THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Kaylee2]

Day 3... I really really want to talk to him. Im missing him so much.

[wildestkabs]

Day 3... I really really want to talk to him. Im missing him so much.

 

My thoughts exactly Kaylee. Hang in there. I know it hurts. Off to the gym now..

[Eddie37]

I just broke NC again and texted her, "enjoying the football?" because I'm a douchebag. Germany was winning, last time I checked. Does she even get my texts any more?

 

Stop it! Have some self-control. Just because you are compelled, like a helpless addict, doesn't mean you have to do it. Stop texting her. You are doing nothing but showing her that you are weak and she is strong. You are giving her all the control. Stop being the weak one. Self control, man.

 

This is Day 3 for me. Been pretty heavy hearted all day long. I miss her. I got so used to having her with me that I feel like I can't do anything now without her. I need to start living again...without her, making choices without her, going for drives without her, visiting friends without her, eating dinner without her, going to bed without her, waking up without her, taking a walk without her, starting my week without her, coming home from work without her. I can and will adjust to doing all these things without her. I don't need her to live.

[Eddie37]

Really sad at the idea that with each passing day we don't contact each other it's one more day that she slips farther away, one more day that she grows more accustomed to not having me in her life, one more day that she realizes she doesn't need me and one more day for the love to fade.

[Flint_Wood]

Hey Eddie, don't worry. If you stick with NC you will come to realize what you are describing is for the best.

 

Day.... 20?

 

Really feeling like I've let go. She's still on my mind fairly often, but its mostly just friendly curiosity wondering how she's doing, kind of similar to how I think of my best friend (who I also haven't talked to very much this summer). That isn't anywhere near as large of a burden on my mind.

 

Met another girl online that I asked out after some really fun conversations. She said she doesn't want to meet people she has "more than friend intentions for". I seem to really fall for crazies...

[Eddie37]

Someone just shared with me something that I found to be very relevant to what I'm going through. She suggested that it's not necessarily my ex that I miss, rather it's the comfort and security of having someone to share thoughts, experiences, laughs, hopes, etc. with. In other words, it's the empty space that hurts.

[Eddie37]

Met another girl online that I asked out after some really fun conversations. She said she doesn't want to meet people she has "more than friend intentions for". I seem to really fall for crazies...

 

Dude, it's been 20 days, what's your hurry to get involved again?

[Kaylee2]

I'm finding it really hard today to not talk to him he was always with me on sundays

[Eddie37]

I'm finding it really hard today to not talk to him he was always with me on sundays

 

I don't know your situation exactly Kaylee, but my ex left me. We used to be together on Sundays too, but she left, and if she wants to spend any more Sundays with me she'll contact me and tell me so. So I'm not going to chase after somebody who doesn't want to be gotten. Try to remember, if they want to be with you, they will, and contacting them won't change that.

[Kaylee2]

Thank you, I know you're right. He seemed to just wake up one day and decide I'm not worth it anymore so he decided that he doesn't love me anymore as he thinks I'm too clingy and controllong! I just love him so much tho. Couldn't even think about not been togetjer which ended up pushing him away!

 

I don't know your situation exactly Kaylee, but my ex left me. We used to be together on Sundays too, but she left, and if she wants to spend any more Sundays with me she'll contact me and tell me so. So I'm not going to chase after somebody who doesn't want to be gotten. Try to remember, if they want to be with you, they will, and contacting them won't change that.

[Eddie37]

Right now I feel as though I just want someone to come and take away my pain and loneliness. I don't care who, anyone. I can understand very clearly why people have rebound relationships. They are lonely and hurt and just want someone to make it go away. My ex was always just sort of half there. She was always wrapped up in herself, in her own private, singular world. She was always either on the internet, talking her dad on the phone or watching t.v. It was so hard to talk about anything deep and meaningful with her because she just wasn't there in mind and spirit. When she did want to talk about something it was usually about her being hungry or tired or hurt or something. She was content to sit around all day and do nothing. She would sit on her ass all day at work, come home, sit on her ass, get up the next day and do all over again. And then when the weekends rolled around she would want to stay home and sit on her ass.

 

I'm the opposite. What the hell was I doing with her? I used to have to drag her out of the house. And when I tried to motivate her she would accuse me of not accepting her for who she is and being mean to her. Oh brother! But she was very giving sexually. I think she knew that sex was about the only thing she knew she could really offer me. I remember getting tired of the sex too. And when I got tired of her constantly throwing herself at me, that's when she started in with all the deep promises like "I will love you forever", "I want to be your wife", "I want to have a family with you", "You are the only one for me", "I have been waiting my whole life for you". Maybe she realized that she couldn't keep me around with the sex anymore so she started in with the hefty promises. Sh!t.

[Flint_Wood]

Dude, it's been 20 days, what's your hurry to get involved again?

 

I'm just dating again, and taking it slow, nothing serious. It's only day 20 of NC, but just over two months since the break up.

[wildestkabs]

Day 5 NC coming to a close. Still miss you.

 

Was contacted by someone today who wants to go out on another date. Am a little excited, though, since she is quite the hottie!

 

Oh well, just what I need in these trying times. Some hot company!

[Eddie37]

 

Oh well, just what I need in these trying times. Some hot company! that!

 

Day 3, in the books.

[JoshHimself]

Day 14

 

Two weeks in, I miss her, I miss my friend, I miss our love. Gotta keep strong! Gotta pick myself up!

[Kaylee2]

Whats this? Day 4?

 

I'm starting to feel less better and more like I want him back in my life in anyway possible. Everything is reminding me of him! I had my whole life with him for 3 and a half years and now I have nothing!! I know I'm falling apart. I know he can fix it, I wish he would. But I don't think he will. I don't know how long I can keep this up. I'm miserable, I'm not talking to anyone properly.. I go to work and I can't wait to get away home but why? Once I finish all I'm left with is these thoughts!

[alienas]

day 6..

Feeling abit miserable especially when am alone...but i have not contacted him since that last nasty fight. He was the last one to send me a text..which i did not reply. But am wishing he would call though I have screened his number. I wonder if he misses me.....

[alienas]

day 6..

Feeling abit miserable especially when am alone...but i have not contacted him since that last nasty fight. He was the last one to send me a text..which i did not reply. But am wishing he would call though I have screened his number. I wonder if he misses me.....

[1guygirl]

day 3

 

well last night i really didnt want my ex back, the thought of him made me sick and creeped out. very strange.

 

i had sent a fellow member on the site me and my ex belong on, a pm telling hm bout my split with ex. hes a 'friend' on my list and lives local. this friend also has been through a split and hes a fellow scorpio like me so we get each other.

 

well i get an email to say when someones sent me a pm so i dont have to log on every day to check, so i got a pm or two back off this friend, and was answering his pms. i havent logged on in quite a while, and i thought i was safe as my ex wasnt logged in as i logged in. well he must have had radar on as he logged on jus after me, and he was checking who is online (innocent i guess as hes a mod on there) my first reaction was to sign off immediately, cos i just knew he would see me online and check what i was doing (private messaging) but then i thought hell no, i am replying to a friend, a sexy friend at that, whos indirectly talking about sexy stuff and no im not gunna scarper away...this distraction is JUS what i need

 

still, i did my messaging, didnt go on forum, and jus logged out...i kna he will be wondering who im messaging...jus hope he doesnt get one of the higher website staff to find out who and more embarassingly, what about

 

not my problemo anymore

[Eddie37]

Whats this? Day 4?

 

I'm starting to feel less better and more like I want him back in my life in anyway possible. Everything is reminding me of him! I had my whole life with him for 3 and a half years and now I have nothing!! I know I'm falling apart. I know he can fix it, I wish he would. But I don't think he will. I don't know how long I can keep this up. I'm miserable, I'm not talking to anyone properly.. I go to work and I can't wait to get away home but why? Once I finish all I'm left with is these thoughts!

 

Kaylee, hang in there. You don't need him to live. Please don't fall apart now, keep going, you are strong enough to do this. Stand on your own two feet, be a strong woman. Don't be his dog that keeps begging at his table for scraps. You want a man who loves you fully, not one who doesn't know what he wants. Hang in there girl.

[Eddie37]

Day 4, no contact. My ex contacted me via email. But I don't think it's considered a break in no contact unless I contact her.

 

Here is her email to me from this morning:

 

"I never expected you to be the one to make me happy all the time. I don't

think I'm selfish. I think I'm just confused, lost, scared, sad, etc.

And it is literally taking everything I have to be here in right

now. I don't want to shut you out, or anyone else. I just have

absolutely no clue how I would even get to . Seriously, I have

40 dollars. That wouldn't even get me there in my car. Anyways, I

don't really know what to say."

[Kaylee2]

Well.. back to day 1...

[lostnscared]

DAY ONE:

 

Woke up crying and upset. Listened to gospel on the way to work and instantly felt better--coffee helped. Barely ate today. Took care of bills though and made myself go to the store so that I could get some sleeping medicine and other things that I need. I had no one to talk to today.

 

Keep looking at my phone, hoping he'll change his mind but he hasn't.

 

Got my number changed today. It goes into effect this thursday.

[Eddie37]

Well.. back to day 1...

Kaylee, at least try to go one week. 7 full days. I know you can do it. Starting now. Let's do it!

[brandnewday47]

Day 11, made it through the workday. On to day 12. Maybe it is because I see the finish line finally but it seems to be getting slightly easier and more empowering by the day.

 

One thing I've really internalized now, is she isn't on that pedistal I put her on. She is human and not better than me, not by a longshot. While I know I am not perfect, she knows I was honest and caring and trying to work through our(my) issues. We will see if she ever realizes the consequences of any of her decisions.