THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[alamina]

affirmation of the day: sometimes love isn't enough

 

UGH...my ex told me that when we split! I think love can be enough but it's a two way street, you know? One person can't carry the relationship alone.

 

Day 23

 

I had the biggest urge to unblock him from MSN and just see if he'd say something. Thankfully, I didn't. I'm going out tonight. I'm trying to stay as busy as possible. I'm getting close to a month! I'm still frustrated. I'm not crying though. That is completely blocked at the moment. I'm remembering all the bad memories, more and more. Typical dumpee behaviour, right? I heard it's the opposite for the dumper. I'm hoping he feels something, anything. Hello? He was once madly in love with me! What the hell kind of crap is this? How can you love someone so deeply and just let go, like it's nothing? I didn't cheat. I didn't lie. I wasn't mean. What in the world?!

[anu1560]

Hater 13...is your brother back home?

[Igelchen]

I thought I was doing so much better. But lying awake in bed, I haven't moved on at all. My heart aches. I long so much for some word from her. Strain against my desire to text her, write to her, call her, anything to hear her voice again, even raised in anger. How can she not care? How can she want me gone from her life, after all we went through together? The amazing times we had? The memories?

 

I feel like sh*t. I want to sleep now please. And not dream. Don't want to slip back, I was doing so well

[hater13]

Hater 13...is your brother back home?

 

no he's not...

[hater13]

I thought I was doing so much better. But lying awake in bed, I haven't moved on at all. My heart aches. I long so much for some word from her. Strain against my desire to text her, write to her, call her, anything to hear her voice again, even raised in anger. How can she not care? How can she want me gone from her life, after all we went through together? The amazing times we had? The memories?

 

I feel like sh*t. I want to sleep now please. And not dream. Don't want to slip back, I was doing so well

 

I'm 8 weeks in, and i'd like to say it gets better...but it just doesn't feel that way for me.

 

But I have a lot of outside factors affecting my overall mood.

 

god bless and take care

[pinkdinooo]

hey everyone!

 

i've been reading this thread for a week now and it makes me feel so much better and i also wanted to share my stories. you guys are doing pretty good job, keep it up!

 

my ex broke up with me in mid april and it hurts so much. before we completely go separate ways that day, he said to me "i love you but i cant be with you, not now. maybe sometime down the line, or when i'll see that youve changed. i know you're not a bad person, thats why i wont erase you from my life completely." then before he left he gave me a hug and kissed me on my forehead and said "i know you can do it".

 

it kinda gives me hope, but i dont wanna depend on it too much. i still love him like mad and i cant stop thinking about him, but i gotta carry on. then few days later after sending little msgs to each other, he sent me a PM saying "I do believe one day our paths will cross again and that time for good". i dunno what to think. so i tried NC but broke it many times.

 

Now, i'm really determined to go NC and make him realize that he misses me. i dont think he does cuz hes having loads of fun and stuff but we'll see. i'll make sure he knows i'm having fun too \\

 

wish me luck, and be strong people!

[lostinyou]

This is so difficult, feels harder now than it did a month ago 6 days full NC

[quiddy]

my turn:

my story is different cos nobody broke up with anyone so he basically didnt reply to my texts and his phone was off when i called so i went to see him and he acted normal. Gave me some stupid excuses abt no phone reception and since that time i stopped contacting him. It was 2 months ago- 6th of April. So after i saw him within the month later i didnt contact him myself, just replied to his 3 texts and said i had no time when he wanted to see me once.

Then on the 26 th of April i started full no contact, it was hard for first two , three days but i knew it would get better. so for 3,5 weeks nobody contacted anyone and then BOOM! a text message on the 20th of May so i ignored it, then another one on the 23rd May and i ignored it again. Then he called me on the 28th of May and i picked up the phone totally indifferent. He wanted to see me and i said fine cos i am over him and since nobody properly finished this relationship i was waiting for a moment i could either never be in touch with him or see him and tell him i consider it over for last 2 months- (u can read my full story)

no contact does work i have to say, i was sceptical but it worked cos he contacted me with bad intentions that i actually recognised but it works also for you cos u come to the point when u realise u cant make sb the center of your world , be strong and if someone wants to float with you thats good , dont let them come and go or dont let them being dependent on them

[anu1560]

hope bla bla bla bla bla.... and bla...stupid hope....when i am going to get out of this denial...when when when...i am getting impatient...i want to just be angry at him and get over with this grief-moving on process steps...when when when....i want to be no more in denial...i want to be angry and then depressed and then accept phase...i do not want to be in denial...he is never coming back...what do i do with this stupid hope/denial...

[Igelchen]

Another day, another misery. Hopeless. I am improved, but I still miss her. Nearly 8 weeks since she left me. A week since the last time I heard from her. Just under that since I last contacted her. Already the silence is beginning to stretch my nerves. I need to get out of this house!!! Why do we live in the middle of freaking nowhere??

[alamina]

Day 24.

 

I cannot believe it's day 24! I talked to a friend of mine that used to know him, around the time we started dating. She said that he used to put me on a pedestal, and how he thought I was so magnificent. All of this was when he was pursuing me, of course.

 

Makes me feel like crap to know that once he got to know me, he became disenchanted. If I'd been cruel, clingy, abusive...I would understand but I was not!! I always tried to make him smile.

 

However, I did go out last night. My friend and I had a lovely dinner, and walked for hours. At one point, this friend seemed like he wanted to kiss me. I was upset but acted like I hadn't noticed. It just makes me angry. I have made it clear that I'm not interested in him that way. I just need friends right now, why can't he understand?

 

I am still very frustrated. I just want to hear my ex's voice. I must be strong. I will not contact him. I'd be back at square one. It would be awkward.

 

UGH!

[Rotxsen]

Day ??

 

I have new dreams and hopes with that I still move on.

[brownage]

Day 51:

 

I'm feeling very sleepy right now but I'll try to make this post before I collapse. I'm just gladdddddd this thread is still alive after so many months. I too also have the hope to completely move on from my ex. It's been 5 months and I haven't moved on completely.

 

It's harder not to think about her these days. She actually unblocked me on MSN the other day I believe. I didn't message her, she didn't message me.

 

Should I just keep living life as normal and not try to contact her even though I may see her "online" again?

[lostinyou]

day 7 full NC (4 weeks since she left)

 

now one week in, found out she was looking for a new place to live yesterday, which must mean she's coming back this way soon. she still has a few things at mine and post to collect so im expecting a text off her soon to come and collect it.... although im not sure the best way to handle it if she does contact me. any ideas?

 

we were living together for 4 years and she said she needed some space when she left and didn't know what the future held for us but 'couldn't promise anything'. in the last 4 weeks she has had an interview for a new job which she text me to say she'd got last week and had to look for a new place to live, so she did need some space to sort herself out and has been busy. there are still photos of us up on her facebook and she hasnt blocked me from anything (although ive blocked her from facebook)

 

just wish i knew how she was thinking or how women feel after 4 years of living with someone, then moving out all in one night.

 

as far as im concerned anything that isn't bad can only be good. i still miss her but can't do anything about it, the ball is in her court but i think her pride may get in the way of reconciliation.

[yogi]

Good luck lostinyou. It's hard when our beloved leaves the door open with "I don't know what the future holds but I can't promise anything." I guess she's doing the best she can without knowing what she wants. You can do the best you can, too, for you. I think a lot of people advocate giving people the time and space they ask for, it's the most loving thing to do.

 

Is SuperDave still around? He always has encouraging words.

 

I am officially starting my 30 days of no contact today. I got the "I don't know what the future holds but I can't promise anything." Made lots of errors of the last few weeks with calling and texting and trying to "figure it out."

[BackToYou]

Day 29

 

Feeling ok. I still think about her too much but things are definitely getting easier. 30 days mark is closer than ever She just recently unblocked me on msn after being blocked for two months so I think it`s just a matter of time when she starts talking to me again..

[yogi]

nogettingover, how did you get to feeling better? Excellent job maintaining NC for 29 days.

 

Uuugggh. I think I've bugged my ex too much after he left the door open to me. Even Monday, I sent him a text asking if he had someone new in his life. He responded, but I've been afraid to read his response. He waited until I was off work so I imagine it was because he didn't want to upset me with his answer.

 

I've decided to wait three weeks before I read it. He's supposed to call me after I have a few medical procedures done toward the end of June. So hopefully I'll be in a better place to read them and reject him by not answering.

 

Advice?

[BackToYou]

nogettingover, how did you get to feeling better? Excellent job maintaining NC for 29 days.

 

Uuugggh. I think I've bugged my ex too much after he left the door open to me. Even Monday, I sent him a text asking if he had someone new in his life. He responded, but I've been afraid to read his response. He waited until I was off work so I imagine it was because he didn't want to upset me with his answer.

 

I've decided to wait three weeks before I read it. He's supposed to call me after I have a few medical procedures done toward the end of June. So hopefully I'll be in a better place to read them and reject him by not answering.

 

Advice?

 

Hi yogi

 

I have taken a extra good take care of myself. I wasn`t in a good shape when she dumped me but things are surely different now. I changed the focus from her to myself. I hit the gym 4 times a week, eat healthy, started a new hobby, got a new job, got a new wardrope, made new friends etc.. I am improving myself in every area of my life. I think I am a real catch today Someday she will realize what she had lost. That has keeped me going on.

 

If I were you, I would read his text. If he`s seeing someone new it would be easier to move on from this guy. But it depends heavily on your current condition. If you think it would destroy you now, it may be better to wait a few weeks until you are ready to face the facts.

 

I wish you the best, yogi

[yogi]

Sounds like you're doing very well! I, too, have been hitting the gym. I think you've turned this situation into an achievement. Good for you!! I've found that filling my days up to where I don't even get home until after supper helps.

 

Though I have been using wine to relax for sleeping EVERY night. And Sundays are the absolute worst.

 

I do think hearing if he's seeing someone now would crush me. But even if he isn't, he's still not beating down my door. So nothing he could write would be good enough for me right now. So much else is happening in my life right now and the pain is still fresh. So I'll wait.

 

Keep up the good work. She'll see in no time what a mistake she's made.

[alamina]

Day 26!

 

Well, very early on day 26.

 

On day 25, I awoke and got up to make coffee and sat in front of my computer to check my emails, a thought occurred to me: he wasn't my first thought that morning!

 

In fact, I was so busy throughout the day and evening, that I didn't think of him or this NC challenge one bit! My entire focus today was work, discussing my upcoming trip, everything but him.

 

I also walked quite a bit and I felt happy. Not overwhelmingly so...but still. I think I will be okay. Must. Stay. Busy.

 

I also kind of want to go on a date. I have no one in mind, but soon enough...

[hater13]

I think the universe hates me...

 

You were on my "friends suggestion" list on facebook. OMG!!!

[Igelchen]

I think the universe hates me...

 

You were on my "friends suggestion" list on facebook. OMG!!!

 

Ha! It kept suggesting all her new friends at uni to me after she'd removed me as a friend. Facebook has no tact

 

Found your brother yet?

[Atticus90]

day 2 no contact

 

feel crapp today. woke up early because of the stupid sun in my window... miss her so much. feel lonely. i feel like shes moved on fine with no problems whatsoever and im here sulking like a baby. *sigh* want to move on so bad but i cant. she obviously didnt love me because she moved on so quick. my love for her was strong, because i can't even find the strength to even think of another women. ughh oh well...

 

like any dumpee, i'm waiting on that call...

i have enough will power to not contact to her at all because of the hateful things she said to me 2 days ago, but i would like her to contact me to apoligise.

[yogi]

5th day

 

Stay tough Atticus. She needs time to see where she was wrong and then apologize. But the truth is, she might not. But women are kinda softies and feel guilty when we're nasty to people we care about so she probably will. She just needs to decompress.. but if I were you, I'd journal my feelings.

 

I'm on my 5th day of no contact. There are still two text responses from him that I'm not strong enough to read yet. So I'm testing myself to see if I can wait a few weeks.

 

On the brightside, I've enjoyed not worrying if he's losing interest. haha. And I've enjoyed the quiet where I don't have to help shoulder the burden of hearing about his personal issues. I feel less anxious and more at peace. And it's a comfort for me to know that he's probably looking at his phone and wondering why I haven't texted for the zillionth time this week.

 

HA!

[FootofGod]

Day I don't know

 

I don't know what day it is and I don't care! Still write in the journal occasionally, still get pretty sad, especially if I'm having a rough day, but I don't feel the need to count anymore, occasionally I can avoid thinking about it at all, and I'm ready to just go on and see what happens! I've gotta do what I've gotta do and she's gotta do what she's gotta do and maybe the two will converge somewhere, but I'm not all that concerned with it.