THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[j.love]

that's exactly how it works lol. once you move past the pain, and get back to your life you wonder why you spent so much time agonizing over the person. i'm glad that your feeling this way, and kudos to leaving her alone!

 

you be strong and good luck with everything

[Animelover6764]

feeling better now

[BobbyC]

Day 21

 

She contacted me after 16 days, I ignored it. It was meaningless. The urge for me to contact her has subsided, but I'm still curious to know how long it will be before she throws out more crumbs.

 

I'm not thinking of her as much anymore either. It's weird, it's like some switch just went off in my head and I've come to the realization that I've wasted too much time and energy on her.

[j.love]

Day 3: 6:06pm

 

good job Bobby!

 

Saw him today because we have finals. It was really bad I couldn't focus for the first ten minutes because he sat a few rows in front of me. I'm just so mad it's beginning to affect other things. I was ready to fly off the handle at my roomate today when all she wanted to know was if I needed plates after she moves out this week.

 

I felt so bad afterward. Any advice on letting go/getting through the anger.

[sighh]

Day 3: 6:06pm

 

good job Bobby!

 

Saw him today because we have finals. It was really bad I couldn't focus for the first ten minutes because he sat a few rows in front of me. I'm just so mad it's beginning to affect other things. I was ready to fly off the handle at my roomate today when all she wanted to know was if I needed plates after she moves out this week.

 

I felt so bad afterward. Any advice on letting go/getting through the anger.

 

There is nothing you can do now. Nothing will change the fact that he left you. How hard it may seem. Being angry is just a way to waste your energy.

Try to let go of the anger, its not fun for you, and neither for the people around you. I know its hard, but try too

 

Try focusing on the little things that make you happy. For example, be gratefull that you got the legs to walk, or the eyes to see. Being gratefull results in being happy. I recommend watching The Secret, i'm not sure wether you know about it. It's a movie about the Law of Attraction. The movie is a little bit over the top tho, but it has great potential to make you clear that happyness is a choice.

 

It helped me to deal with my emotion of the break-up very much. I tend to watch it once a week, to keep my new lifestyle motivated.

 

As far for me;

 

Day ??:

I'm getting there, I don't care anymore that she left me for someone else. I still think about her. But not that much. I keep myself busy while studying for the exames that are coming up.

 

I've recently opened my eyes and saw that there's alot of potential girls around me. So try to remember that there's plenty of fish in the sea

 

Kudos my friends!

[Igelchen]

Day 4: despite saying she had enjoyed talking to me at the weekend and appearing willing to call me again, she hasn't actually done so. This is just as well, as I've got conflicting instructions from various people as to whether I should ignore said calls or not, and I vary from hour to hour as to my own opinion.

 

I went on facebook (she removed me as a friend about five minutes after dumping me) and found myself stalking her friends list to see if I could spot which ones matched the description she'd given me of her potential New Guy. There were only two I could see: a russian (and she hates russians) and another guy. She'd mentioned he played the guitar - there was the guitar in his profile pic. And he looks like a douche. Unfortunately he also looks cooler than me. Why the hell did I do that? I deliberately told her not to tell me his name precisely so I wouldn't go looking for him...

 

I miss her so badly.

[j.love]

Igelchen have one of your friends change your facebook password this way you have no access to her info. Facebook is the devil in times like this, I hadmy friend do the same thing and I frilly know that it's one of the few things keeping me sane. So get off facebook now! Lol

 

trust me it's for the best.

[j.love]

Igelchen have one of your friends change your facebook password this way you have no access to her info. Facebook is the devil in times like this, I hadmy friend do the same thing and I frilly know that it's one of the few things keeping me sane. So get off facebook now! Lol

 

trust me it's for the best.

[Igelchen]

I can't see anything of her profile but her friends and profile picture, and I haven't looked at it all that much, just this time.

 

Day 4 update: My depression is way out of hand and my revision as good as failed. My therapist has written a letter to my director of studies and I have an appointment with my tutor. The college chaplain urged me to go and see my GP. GP duly diagnosed me with moderate to severe clinical depression and prescribed antidepressants. Way to ruin my health and tip me over the edge, ex. Everything's collapsed on me... thank goodness for the welfare services.

[j.love]

Day 3: 11:47am

 

Feeling Terrible

 

Its been exactly a week since we broke up and I feel so awful. I'm shaking so much I can barely type this.

 

Today was the last of our exams, so I'm finally done with college and I can't even celebrate because all I can think about is how much I wanted to spend this moment with him. There are so many things going on this week, and I really thought we would be spending them together and the thought of facing them alone is killing me.

 

I really want to see so bad right now. I'm so tempted to ask him to come over, cause I can't do this.

[Igelchen]

I really want to see so bad right now. I'm so tempted to ask him to come over, cause I can't do this.

 

This'll be me in a few weeks. DON'T. You'll only regret it later.

[Animelover6764]

feeling better

 

be strong guys

[dont know]

today is day 30!!!

 

After this month of NC, I've realized a lot of things. The biggest one is that I do not need her in my life to be happy. Though on regular occasions each day I do think of her and wish things could've been different and we could be together still, I think I've accepted the fact that she is gone forever as a lover/best friend. It still seems really bizarre being single and talking to other girls, and I know that I'm nowhere near 100%, but I am seeing serious progress (rollercoaster) but it is slowly easing its way down to the end of the track if you know what I mean. Never thought I'd end up being okay with the breakup.. maybe she is regretting the breakup and maybe she isn't. It doesn't really matter anymore, even though I want her to regret it!

 

On a side note, I'm getting close to finding a job for the summer and I have been spending most of my time off of school just goofing around with my two best friends and working out really hard. I'm pretty sure that I am in better shape now than I EVER was during our relationship (maybe when we first started going out). So I am turning my life around for the better I'm going to start learning guitar in a couple weeks, its been a goal of mine for years that I've never pursued. I've also been putting a lot more emphasis on my friends than I ever did, but I am definitely keeping a happy balance between "me time" and "friends time." Something I couldn't balance with having "girlfriend time" in between those two. I'm also slowly regaining my confidence that I had early in my relationship with my ex, which feels absolutely amazing! Its nice not having to depend on anybody anymore to keep myself occupied and happy, as I was constantly glued to my phone in my LDR with my ex. Lets see.. what else? OH, I've noticed girls starting to flirt with me a bit too, which is pretty nice knowing that I have girls somewhat interested in me even though I'm not really interested in a fling or getting in a relationship quite yet, ya know?

 

So, overall my life has turned around completely. Though, it would be a lie to say that I am only feeling happy all the time. For a total of about an hour a day I think about my ex and all the great times we had, but it doesn't really hurt at all like it used to when she dumped me. Now it is more of just happy for the times we had even though it sucks that we both changed and grew apart. BUT, I'm starting to get my life sorted out a bit and that is probably the best feeling in the world for me right now. My family has been very supportive, and so have you guys here on ENA. Though I don't feel like I sought out too much advice, I spent a lot of time looking at posts of other people's and reflecting on my own relationship through your posts. So I'd like to thank all of you for reading my posts and problems, and I hope all of you recover and regain whatever you want in your life whether it be your ex, a lost hobby, or just your own life. I'm not going to be finished posting here, I'll probably post just the same amount as I have for the past few weeks, but I am just thrilled to see myself make it for 30 days of NC!!

[brownage]

Day 30:

 

And I'm feeling GREAT. I have took up and challenge and succeeded! Well, now I guess I just gotta keep moving on with NC. But I've noticed/realized a lot things.

 

I don't NEED her for my life to function, it's functioning just great without her in the picture. Today I actually went to her old high school library (she's in first year uni now) but it didn't phase me at all -- because I used to go there back in high school when I had days off and she didn't (I went to a catholic school, she went to a public school).

 

Not really any memories came rushing into my mind of our past while being around there. I had walked to my aunt's house from the high school since she lives near my ex (they both live near the high school). And I also walked on my ex's street but that didn't bother me at all. I had to turn before I even passed her house anyways.

 

But I'm really glad I took the NC challenge. I'm getting stronger by the day and I even bought a cool new jacket and it kind of boosted my self esteem haha. But yeah! I'm staying at my aunt's house which is near my ex's house but it doesn't bother me so much. I'm not tempted at all to go for a walk in the neighborhood and hope to run into my ex.

 

Life is getting good. Hang in there everyone IT WILL GET BETTER!

[Igelchen]

23:12, Day 4. She didn't call again. So much for her enjoying talking to me and offering to call and see how I'm getting on with exams. How am I supposed to make No Contact work if she thinks she's the one denying me contact? Not only does it not help me get over her because I'm obsessed over why she hasn't called me, but it doesn't make her miss me

[MisterE]

Day 1: 05/12/2010

 

Let her go. If she comes back, she was always yours. If not, you never had her.

 

In combination with NC, i'm going to work out atleast 6 times a week

 

Edit: If I make it 1 month with NC and working out, i'm buying myself a new suit.

[anu1560]

Not only does it not help me get over her because I'm obsessed over why she hasn't called me, but it doesn't make her miss me

 

NC will help. I promise. It will. Just hang on there. Go watch movies. If you can afford watch 2-3 movies at a row with friends till you are tired. Or go swim or jog or work out, till you are tired to think of anything but sleep. Force yourself to go out with friends. Take care of yourself. You owe that to yourself. No one is worth this much pain and hurt to yourself.

[anu1560]

Day 4. Doing ok. Lets see till the end of the week. Trying to concentrate on work. Took some extra work from my advisor so I am busy all day and evening till it is time to drop dead in my bed. So I am going to be dead busy this month. Hopefully I will not disappoint my boss and myself.

[j.love]

Day 4:7:03 pm

 

Can't believe its been four days. I texted him yesterday about some more stuff at my place but that was it and we had our last final today and talked about the exam for a few minutes only.

 

Tonight is a graduation party for everyone in the class. I don't know if he's going to be there but I am going to have fun with my friends. Wish me luck with keeping no contact.

 

Also I truly believe going through a break up is like going through the stages of grief. I've been through denial, anger, and currently I am bargaining. So only depression and acceptance are left.

[mwh67]

havent talked to her in a while...lost count. feeling good BUT 2 of our mutual friends are graduating from college tomorrow. im going to see them graduate and i heard she is going to be there. not sure whether i should just play it cool or totally ignore her. this is going to be an interesting day

[Igelchen]

Day 5. I haven't thought too much about her today because I feel awful. I still resent that she hasn't called me.

 

I tried to go to a supervision this morning but ended up just having a coffee and a chat with my Old English supe. Inevitably my ex and the straw that broke the camel's back came up. She told me that the dumper nearly always claims to have no regrets for the first couple of months. Those come later. I'm beginning to see that there's no justification for my prior belief that she can really be as cold and self-controlled as she's saying she is.

 

I've taken my first prozac and am in negotiations with tutors about providing failsafes against me failing or not taking my exams due to nervous breakdown. Feel immensely guilty now I've made the first steps towards what is essentially cheating my exams by getting an automatic pass. Using illness as an excuse. I should be able to deal with this stuff like a normal person has to. But it isn't as though I've been partying it up; I'm a conscientious student with an excellent record, and this just takes the pressure off. Tired and shivery. More GP appointments and meetings to be scheduled. I go home at 4.30 for a few days' R and R. I'm beginning to hate her for doing this to me.

[FlashEng1]

Day 1.... I've had SO many of these it's not even funny.. I KNOW she's sitting there thinking about how pitiful I am looking.... This is the first time I will officially be accepting the NC Challenge, and posting about it, however... so maybe this will help? Guess we'll find out...

[Animelover6764]

day idk

 

i feel better

[Igelchen]

End of day five. She didn't call again. She led me to believe she would call again this week. She has the excuse.

 

I've left college and returned home. It's boring. And I'm still thinking about her. Damning her eyes. I need her to give me the opportunity to ignore her.

[anu1560]

Day 5

 

Don't know what I am feeling anymore. Not doing good in terms of work. That makes it worse. Just makes me feel like a failure in professional and personal life. But I am hopeful. Hopeful that I will smile again without any effort.