THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[vertigoxo]

Day 137

 

My parents have made a plan to probably move us out to Texas. Basically, my mom and my younger siblings will stay here in Pennsylvania while my dad and I move out and rent a little place while he searches for a job and gives mom some money for a while until they decide to come along with us. This will all happen in a month's time or something... Hopefully this will be our last move.

 

... I wonder if I should tell him that I will leave soon... Eh. I guess you gotta let sleeping dogs lie.

[bitebenot]

DAVID *** Well,maybe she feels guilty about asking for a divorce,so she will try to lay the blame on you ! She must have one reason for the divorce..maybe another man in her life ? Its a possibility ! Or shes out of love for you ? You are very emotional at this time,you will ask yourself one thousand questions and still get no answers ! Only she can give you the right reason for the divorce ! Do what i said on the previous post then ask her why, push her hard for the real reason for the divorce ! Now take it easy,calm down..dont let her bring you down to a depression.You must say to yourself you are more important than her ! Dont become her puppet or yoyo. You must start to take control over your life even if shes no longer with you. From now on,its about YOU,taking care of yourself the best way possible ! Dont become sick over this.Seems that she doesnt care,why should you ? Stop thinking about her qualities,think of the bad ones ! Anyone can be replaced,no exceptions ! Your pain will ease with time,be patient.

[deecbee]

I know... I will stick to my guns on this one. I thought it might be another relationship, but he promised me it wasn't. I don't think there was anything physical going on, maybe some emotional cheating going on though.

 

So should I cancel the friend request I sent him then? I had tried to re-friend him yesterday before I started NC since he had made a big fuss about me deleting him... lol, actually, I want him back on my friends list so he can see that I'm having a life outside him. Immature, I know. I wouldn't check his FB at all.

[bitebenot]

I know... I will stick to my guns on this one. I thought it might be another relationship, but he promised me it wasn't. I don't think there was anything physical going on, maybe some emotional cheating going on though.

 

So should I cancel the friend request I sent him then? I had tried to re-friend him yesterday before I started NC since he had made a big fuss about me deleting him... lol, actually, I want him back on my friends list so he can see that I'm having a life outside him. Immature, I know. I wouldn't check his FB at all.

 

In my opinion,friendship now is a no go ! You must disappear completely !

He cant find anything on you,doesnt know where you are or what you're doing ! Do as i said in my previous post.He has to know he lost you and you really mean it this time ! Dont forget this,you wont get many chances to bring him back...you goof on that one and its " Adieu mon amour " lol.

Do it well and the benefits are going to be very positive mostly for you

and your mental healt ! I always repeat this one,YOU are more important than the one who doesnt f*** care for you ! ok ? Maybe he lost his love for you,but you cant force a horse to drink ! Work to bring him back ,but never be negligent towards yourself and learn to love you first ! You're to important to let yourself be dragged into mud.Self respect is the beginning for healing.

[deecbee]

You're right. I need to just focus on myself right now. Enough with the games. I'll cancel the pending friend request. Very good insight, I appreciate it!! Thanks.

[bitebenot]

You're right. I need to just focus on myself right now. Enough with the games. I'll cancel the pending friend request. Very good insight, I appreciate it!! Thanks.

 

You are welcome dear,you're wisdom over this crappy situation will take over

and you will be proud of your achievement.The sun will rise and shine for you again and again,it truly will,you'll see ! Just hang on tight,never surrender to your feelings and think logically.

[LostDavid]

@Bitebenot,

 

I understand. I don't want to know why honestly. I am too scared of what I'd feel if I knew she wanted the divorce because of another. But I have sent her an e-mail about the same thing that you mention shortly before I joined so we'll see how that goes if anything at all.

 

 

 

@Friendnorfoe,

 

Read a few of your posts must say wonderful outlook something I'll have to keep in mind and try to work forward to. Am going to the gym 6 days a week now to keep myself busy but 2h a day is a far cry from the other 15 or so awake. It is indeed a daunting task that one must overcome.

[klafeoj]

day 12. still haven't heard from here since she sent me that last text

[Snowgrrl83]

Yesterday I finally got out of bed at about 5 PM. I had a hair appointment at 6:30 so I went to my hair appointment. My friend does my hair in her home - which is right beside my exs home. I didn't help myself, after my hair appointment I drove beside his house (after my hair appointment at 11 PM on a Sunday night) just to see if he was home or not. The car wasn't there. I guess he's with his ex. I can't believe it. This just feels like I'm living a nightmare. This girl that he insulted for an entire year, he is getting back with... what does that say about me?

 

I'm still extremely hurt. Still not eating. Still not sleeping. Still not working. My stomac is really upset and so is my system. My body is all out-of-whack. I have my period when I'm not supposed to and fluids are coming out of my body in strange ways.

[LostDavid]

The car wasn't there. I guess he's with his ex. I can't believe it. This just feels like I'm living a nightmare. This girl that he insulted for an entire year, he is getting back with... what does that say about me?

.

 

 

I'm by far no expert on this whole coping after a break up but just because his car isn't there doesn't mean he's out with his ex. Don't look at the negative all the time, maybe he got hungry and went to uh Burger King?

[Snowgrrl83]

I went a bit further in my investigation. He had told he would go snowboarding over the weekend. I called one of my friends who is his primary snowboard friend. He said that he never called to go snowboarding this weekend - hence, he's lying and he's with his ex. He also told me, last time I spoke with him, which would be 6 days ago, that he wasn't over his ex.

[syxx87]

Day 14

 

I just woke up about two hours ago and I feel pretty good right now. I went out with my two best friends last night to a party and had a lot of fun. I did the whole "meet new people" thing and ended up talking to a particular girl for most of the night. We seemed to click and I got her number before she left so I will text her at some point today or tomorrow to see where that goes. I also seen a girl who I had a class with my freshman year of H.S. about eight years ago (didnt really talk to her much back then) and we talked and danced a lot and I ended up making out with her on several occasions through the night and I got her number as well.

 

Last night did wonders for my self esteem and confidence and while I still thought about my ex through the night, I didnt really care as much about the situation (could have just been the alcohol or a little of both). I still love my ex and have hopes that she will come back but last night made me care just a little less or at the least temporarily numbed some of my pain. Perhaps I'm slowly starting to embrace the single life just a tidbit (lol I know this high that Im on will only last till about the end of the day probably).

[deecbee]

Day 2

 

It feels like an eternity. The days just crawl by. Its torture. Does anyone else have this problem?

 

I cancelled my friend request last night. I just wish I knew what he was doing these past few days... out having fun? Sitting around depressed? Thinking about me at all? At first I felt in control of this breakup, but now I don't. It would be easier to ignore him if he reached out in some way, like I did, but he hasn't.

 

I hate this

[Elephant]

Day 5

 

I feel like the gods of NC are totally out to get me. Everytime I feel good about not talking to him, I get some form of communication from him. I got an e-mail today, asking if I wanted to grab coffee and swap back belongings. Don't know how (or if) I'll reply.

[syxx87]

Day 2

 

It feels like an eternity. The days just crawl by. Its torture. Does anyone else have this problem?

 

I cancelled my friend request last night. I just wish I knew what he was doing these past few days... out having fun? Sitting around depressed? Thinking about me at all? At first I felt in control of this breakup, but now I don't. It would be easier to ignore him if he reached out in some way, like I did, but he hasn't.

 

I hate this

 

Believe me, I know how you feel! The minutes seem like hours and the hours seem like days. It gets better though, I'm still hurting but I'm atleast past the whole "days going by extremely slow" phase.

[bitebenot]

Day 5

 

I feel like the gods of NC are totally out to get me. Everytime I feel good about not talking to him, I get some form of communication from him. I got an e-mail today, asking if I wanted to grab coffee and swap back belongings. Don't know how (or if) I'll reply.

 

DONT ! Make him crawl ! Nothing less,make him earn you back the hard way !

If you accept on his terms,your doomed ! Dont answer his emails.

Reconciliation or nothing ! But hey,its your choice !

[bitebenot]

You need help and seriously ! See a psychologist.Your are obsessed and it will end in a depression ! Hes not worth it but you are blind.

You enjoy being in pain,where is your pride ?

Stay away from the jack a$$.

[deecbee]

So I'm stuck at a desk all day (work) and I am trying so hard not to text him. This whole breakup was done over email, and I just feel like there's no closure here. I hate making huge decisions over email, I feel they should be done in person or at least over the phone (in our situation). I'm just not sure I'm comfortable going on NC without having hashed this out over the phone. Don't I owe myself at least that, or am I just making excuses now?

[bitebenot]

Day 2

 

It feels like an eternity. The days just crawl by. Its torture. Does anyone else have this problem?

 

I cancelled my friend request last night. I just wish I knew what he was doing these past few days... out having fun? Sitting around depressed? Thinking about me at all? At first I felt in control of this breakup, but now I don't. It would be easier to ignore him if he reached out in some way, like I did, but he hasn't.

 

I hate this

 

We all feel the same,give yourself some time.Meditate,it will help you.

Think of the way you were before you knew him ! Get to that point slowly,it will come back to you.Plan your days ahead of time,spend time with people.

Dont be alone for long for the next 2 months.

Come here when your lost or feel alone,write about your fears and we will help you as much as we can.Hang on tight,we are with you.

[bitebenot]

So I'm stuck at a desk all day (work) and I am trying so hard not to text him. This whole breakup was done over email, and I just feel like there's no closure here. I hate making huge decisions over email, I feel they should be done in person or at least over the phone (in our situation). I'm just not sure I'm comfortable going on NC without having hashed this out over the phone. Don't I owe myself at least that, or am I just making excuses now?

 

If it will help you,blast him away as much as you can,you will get satisfaction.

But back to NC full time and no more communications with him.Enjoy it if you decide to go along with it.

[deecbee]

If it will help you,blast him away as much as you can,you will get satisfaction.

But back to NC full time and no more communications with him.Enjoy it if you decide to go along with it.

 

Thanks... I won't act on impulse. I will wait until after I go home, eat dinner, see a movie. If I still feel the same way, then maybe I will.

 

I also found out from my sister, who he was always complaining about me to, some things that he said that contradict his feelings for me... I want to call him out sooo badly.

 

So what's your story, bitebenot?

[bitebenot]

We talked about commitment 3 years ago,told her it wasnt for me but i was willing to think about it, but no garantees ! After 5 years she got tired of the situation.She met another guy 3 days before she dumped me.I was willing to talk about it because i did love her.But it was to late..she turned evil,a real brick wall.

To her i became toxic.Spoke to her twice at the beginning for no longer then 5 minutes.

Nothing ever since.3 months and two weeks now. Begging on the phone and in writing,didnt do any good.NC ever since.I will never call her,i dont want her back.

After being so cruel to me and another man to replace me..i cant accept that.Its over,shes gone for good ! I didnt know about NC and reverse psychology !

I will never forget the 3rd of october 2009 ! After that period i feel much better.

Im moving on,more women out there for me.I go to the gym 7 days a week,its great and it helps me a lot.So im here for support and helping others in the same situation or similar to mine.Its life and it does make us better for the future.

[bitebenot]

That women was crazy about me,clingy and very jealous.Was always scared to lose me.I broke up with her in april,took her back after 3 weeks.

Stupid me,but i did love her thats why i wanted her back.

She even got a great job because of me,her income now is $50 thousand a year and shorter weeks.I was very generous..that didnt play in my favor.

Im just another man to her,nothing more.Sad isnt it ? ](*,)

I doubt she ever try to call me,she can be very stubborn.

[bitebenot]

Thanks... I won't act on impulse. I will wait until after I go home, eat dinner, see a movie. If I still feel the same way, then maybe I will.

 

I also found out from my sister, who he was always complaining about me to, some things that he said that contradict his feelings for me... I want to call him out sooo badly.

 

So what's your story, bitebenot?

 

So,your ex was a rat after all huh ? Are you sure hes not having sex with another women ? If he did or does,would he tell you really ?

Im afraid that as time passes by you will find more about him,events that will not please you very much.Just be ready in case it does.

[Tired Tiger]

Not so sure you'd be willing to accept constructive criticism, but...

 

We talked about commitment 3 years ago,told her it wasnt for me but i was willing to think about it, but no garantees ! After 5 years she got tired of the situation.

 

While you're not shy in expressing your resentment for her over the break up, have you considered your role in all of this? How long would you expect any woman to stay in a situation with commitment issues or... "no guarantees"? Do you think she's uniquely evil in this respect, and are you expecting your next relationship to turn out any differently without addressing this aspect of yourself?