THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[EQIQ]

In NC for about 2 months. Only lately its been getting harder, it is weird. Maybe it is because I am on break, and getting lonely/bored. Would like nothing better right now than an e-mail, or msn message from her...

[hopelessincan]

Day 1, round 4 i think? i can say day one since its after midnight right?

I have a range of emotions now. Havent cried today lol..oh no i lied yes i did when he was here yesterday. Feeling somewhat strong on the outside, but numb and dull and lonely but i dont think i feel depressed...somewhat sad but no longer depressed. Cant sleep though.

i finally put my foot down and said no more of this friends garbage. I think i feel strong because for some reason I think he will be back. I scared him when I said no more. I will not be your friend. and i got to watch him grovel and ignore what i wanted for a change.

[rigguy]

Congrats honey, feel embarrassed by my own replacement. Your new bf is such a loser and biggest douche, geez

[teampunjabi]

I started NC about 4 days ago and yesterday she messaged me asking do you not want to talk to me? We have been broken up for 6 months I broke up with her and I regret so much...she was really hurt and has said I dont want to be with you and is now talking to another guy. The past 6 months have been the worst of my life...and I decided to do NC after reading up on this forum. So whenever she messaged me on gmail id say hey i gtg or made some excuse. So when she asked me if I didnt want to talk I ended up talking to her saying I think its best we dont talk for a while and this whole being friends thing is not working since it doesnt feel like a real friendship. Was I right to tell her that I didnt want to talk to her for a while or what? I want her back so bad and all I can think about is her with her new guy. I cant stand it. I would do nething to get her back...but I have lost alot of hope. I still have hope that this rel. is a rebound and will not work then maybe ill get my chance later. But neways what do you guys think. Please I would appreciate some feedback. Thanks in advance

[dudeinlimbo]

Day 1 - Take 2.

 

Feeling good. Will not answer the phone this time when she calls. Ready to move on.

[dudeinlimbo]

Congrats honey, feel embarrassed by my own replacement. Your new bf is such a loser and biggest douche, geez

 

We are thinking the same bro. I was expected to be crushed when I saw her with her new guy. All I feel is pity and embarrasment for her.

[1guygirl]

sounds like peeps are having it really tough??

 

yeah well day 5 and me included....

 

last night started drinkin jus to do something and blott it out *short term fix yeah anno!*

 

had a mad laff online with my mate - we put some old funny pics of me on fakebook, and the ex ex must have saw. next thing i know hes messaging me saying our 2 year old daughter has swine flue (yet he has been saying she is fine to others) ....its just him and his N ways trying to hoover me back in.

 

then an old aquaintence from when i used to work in dublin got intouch it was like a jaw drop moment, as this time 5 years ago i had a great rebound with his friend...did wonders to take my mind off my SM ex - and so i passed on my regards to him...just the thought of this deep, dangerous, mysetrious and seriously sexy rebound was much needed relief to the pangs i have over my recent ex. i dont generally do rebounds as a rule as peeps get hurt, but this rebound well, hes not the type to get hurt trust me - at mo, yeah i am so bloody tempted to jus have a lil flirt at least *something to think about anyway*

 

i finally get to bed bout 4am

 

wake up and ex ex blurts out.....

 

do u have good memories in your head of our past or was it all bad, fkn hope not, i have lots of good stuf in my head about you, full on drink sesh, trips in the country, things we did at oz motherly, hehehe naughty,

 

 

 

 

what is goin on....why are the past exs suddenly springing back into my life (not that ex ex is gunna ever get me back, i know him too well)

 

and yet my recent ex is respecting my wishes for time and nc...bless him. dont make the sexual feelings and cravings for his voice/laugh/hugs/stories/humour go away.....this is driving me mad....bet hes jus suckin it up tho getting attention from his female friends on the site

 

 

no men at all for nearly 3 years then all of this?

 

theres only one man i want and unfortunately that situation even if he came back said "i'll move up here to be with you" ...i think the damage has already been done.

 

id always be waiting for the next out of the blue bombshell

[bitebenot]

NC is the best for now,just let her know u only want to talk about reconciliation and nothing else ! Friendship with an ex never works ! good luck

[dudeinlimbo]

NC day 2 - Take 2

 

Feeling GREAT! Seeing everything with razor-sharp clarity.

[1guygirl]

day 6 (and broke up a week today)

 

love how NC takes them rose tinted goggles off

 

as will young croons "feels so strange on seeing you clearly now..."

 

ignorance is bliss...but only for a while

 

wanted to rage at him today (so posted it on the 'post it here instead of contacting ex' thread...felt reeeally good)

 

yet last night i was all love & light, letting go in love and wanting the best for him blah blah

 

these swings are exhausting

 

decided not to contact him on new years, i said all the best in my xmas day text before going strict nc

 

ok secretly i kinda want him to text me, but what will it change huh? nothing, it will just slow me up. jus sad this was all BS

[dudeinlimbo]

day 6 (and broke up a week today)

 

love how NC takes them rose tinted goggles off

 

as will young croons "feels so strange on seeing you clearly now..."

 

ignorance is bliss...but only for a while

 

wanted to rage at him today (so posted it on the 'post it here instead of contacting ex' thread...felt reeeally good)

 

yet last night i was all love & light, letting go in love and wanting the best for him blah blah

 

these swings are exhausting

 

decided not to contact him on new years, i said all the best in my xmas day text before going strict nc

 

ok secretly i kinda want him to text me, but what will it change huh? nothing, it will just slow me up. jus sad this was all BS

 

As recently as two days ago I was thinking like that after stupidly taking to her. Clarity returned amazingly quickly (and I had clarity and happiness before she called... she had to try and ruin my vibe). I spent a day really focusing on the issues she had... everything she did to me (she did a LOTof bad things to me.... everyone is on my side on this breakup.... even her mom and brother).

 

Now, I do not want her back. I am so looking forward to the first time she calls so I can reject the call. I am looking forward to the first "i miss you" text, or whatever it is. I am going to eat that up like cotton candy (or candy floss or whatever you England peeps call it). I am going to let it slide down my throat and sit in a nice warm spot I have reserved in my soul for her regret.

[bitebenot]

Anyone should know that NC for 30 days might not be enough...its to short.If ur ex didnt communicate what will u do ? Maybe the ex would call after 3 to 6 months ! So NC should be till the ex wishes reconciliation if thats what you want.Beside that NC should be for life.Being friends is a form of torture and should be rejected or you will never heal.Soon as the ex dumps you,you have to desappear right away ! Its not about them,its about you ! Geting yourself esteem back and whatever control you have left ! Then you move on and let the ex know that your doing ok with or whitout them.Its not a game,its self respect ! If you dont do it,you will be at his/her mercy and be on the back burner ! Imagine being played for a year or two ? THE TIME LOST WILL NEVER BE RECOVERED !!! No one should forget that the ex might never come back ! Only a very few comes back and even then it still doesnt work out most of the time ! If you break NC and redo it,the ex will know you cant stay away and will take advantage of it ! Be brave and hang on,its worth it ! Finding a new g/f or b/f is by far the best avenue instead of wasting time on the bad-x !

ITS IMPERATIVE TO DO THIS OR YOU WILL BE DEAD FROM THE START !

[bitebenot]

You can achieve this,your plan is good,just wait and give it to her double dose and see how she likes it ! No future with that type of a women.When she starts calling U WILL BE IN CONTROL ! HAVE FUN ! IM DEAMING OF THAT DAY MYSELF ! GOOD LUCK

[bitebenot]

in nc for about 2 months. Only lately its been getting harder' date=' it is weird. Maybe it is because i am on break, and getting lonely/bored. Would like nothing better right now than an e-mail, or msn message from her...[/quote']

 

just hang on,it will get better ok ? 3 months for me now,its a lot better than 2 months..ur almost there ! Right now start dating,do it slowly and in time u wont think of her anymore !

Happyness is one step away !

[EQIQ]

lol, I am not in the mindset to start dating someone else right now, it would be unfair to someone else to give them false hope.

[dudeinlimbo]

You can achieve this,your plan is good,just wait and give it to her double dose and see how she likes it ! No future with that type of a women.When she starts calling U WILL BE IN CONTROL ! HAVE FUN ! IM DEAMING OF THAT DAY MYSELF ! GOOD LUCK

 

Thanks! My ex helped a lot by acting like Philly bar trash, lying to me, and not having the courage to let me go. The clarity came when I realized there was NO SCENARIO in which we could be together. She cut too deep and played with my emotions too much.

 

I will let everyone here know when she contacts and what happens (she definitely will). Thanks to everyone and stay strong brothers!

[Melting]

Day 4 Round 4

 

Well I actually had to sit back and think about what day I was on, so thats a good start.

 

Still think off u a fair bit, but I have another that I am thinking about too. Hopefully in time he can fill my head and kick u out

[1guygirl]

wise words guys indeed

 

and melting (your name reminds me of a text my ex sent me saying he was doing jus that

 

yeah i could do with a rebound this time around...no strings thingy...but gunna remain strong...well....unless its an offer i cant refuse

[peanutbutterandjelly]

Day 44... I actually had to go back and count the days so i think that's a good sign.

 

Today I think I finally started realizing that I really don't want my ex back. I love him and miss him, but if he came back to me tomorrow, I don't know that I could actually even take him back.

 

That may be due to the fact that the new guy I am kinda seeing is SUPER HOT ... but still, the feelings are there.

 

I can't stop thinking about this new guy. I havn't thought about getting back together with my ex all day, which is a huge step for me. I dont know how long itll last, but it feels good not to be constantly trying to figure out how to get him back.

 

im sure ill get an e-slaponthewrist for rebounding, but oh well. he knows that i just got out of a relationship and he makes me happy *shrug*

[bitebenot]

I was with a rebound once.That women was still in love with her ex..took me 6 weeks to figure it out.I had a wonderful time but i had to let her go..told her to go back to her ex lover who kept rejecting her..poor sap lol ! Now i was dumped after a relationship of 5 years...never been dumped before..its my first and my last...i saw it coming but tried to keep it alive...did all the sh1t people do..crying,begging..wrote a begging letter of 6 pages..second letter to say that break up was the best for the time being.Never got a call on these two.Guess who was the poor sap ? Ya me ! Next time i will give only half of my soul to a women,not more ! Never knew that a break up could hurt so much,went to hell and back..lost 25 pounds...but this is a blessing really.I did what they proposed on ENA,went to a gym..its working wonders on me !

I let my cell phone close(its the only way she can reach me,she has no pc)

and i open it twice a week for messages.I even look at other women now !

Life is coming back ! I sleep better and dont dream of her anymore.Same will happen to everyone here.So dont lose hope, those black clouds will pass by and the sun will shine again.its a promise !

[dudeinlimbo]

Day 3 - Take 2

 

Feeling pretty good. I don't quite have the strength I did yesterday. I think that is because it is New Year's Eve, and we lived in NYC for the past 6 years. It was always a great time. In fact, last year we were standing in Times Square and I remember my ex hatched a plan to get a room at the W Hotel for next year so we could overlook everything. She got on her phone right then and booked a room for New Years Eve 2009. Never would have predicted this is where we would be when that day came.

 

Anyway, got some plans for today to recover strength and belief in myself. I'll be ok.

 

Wow, this is officially the longest we've ever gone without talking in 14 years!

[dudeinlimbo]

Take 4 - Take 2

 

Yesterday was suprisingly a bit tough. Lots of memories around New Year's Eve.

 

Got my first contact from her.... a text message "Happy New Year".

 

Wow.... that isn't very fun to ignore. Pretty sterile message... she could have sent it to her accountant.

[dudeinlimbo]

Oh yeah, just saw a pic of the other guy nailing my ex (yes, have been multiple... that's the reward you get for 14 years without so much as flirting with a girl).

 

I couldn't believe it, but he was actually worse than the first guy. F***ing disgusting loser fat slobs. I think she may have actually gone crazy.

[peanutbutterandjelly]

Day 46... its weird... I suddenly have no interest in reading the "getting back together" forum and have been more interested in "healing after a breakup" and even the "dating" section, lol!. I still love my ex, and honestly, i would probably still go back to him if he wanted to reconcile, but I am no longer dwelling on getting him back or coming up with ways to get him back or anything silly like that. Also, it kind of hurts to read a lot of the posts in this section. There is just so much pain and desperation and I dont really want to go back to those feelings. I will continue to post on this thread though! I find it really helpful, and it's kinda like my journal entry for the day.

 

the night before last I had a dream that my ex from 5 years ago came back to me. Now THAT was a mindf**k

[1guygirl]

day 7/8 ???

 

not sure but still carrying on....theres no point to him tbf....

 

had that moment of clarity, think i even felt relief...ok may have dreamt that one, but i know it will come...jus wish that would hurry up

 

my friends little boy died early hours nyd and that really puts things into perspective