dangletsbang Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 Day 52. I might see him at a party on Sunday. What do I do? Act like he doesn't phase you..don't give him the time of day..like he doesn't exist, almost. Try not to act awkward..or stare at him a lot. Link to comment
coolchick64 Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 Day 52. I might see him at a party on Sunday. What do I do? Go to the party, look like a million bucks, and have fun. If you see him, it seems like the most natural thing would be to talk to him. You don't have to rush up to him, but don't pretend you don't see him either. See what he does and keep an open mind. If he does or says something you don't like, NC's going to be a lot easier, so you really have nothing to lose. : ) Link to comment
coolchick64 Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 Day 21 My ex wrote back yesterday asking how my life was and I just now responded, so I guess I can't claim to be 21 days NC. However, my response was brief (but upbeat and friendly), and since I didn't initiate it, I'm gonna say it doesn't count. If it does, then I probably shouldn't be on the NC challenge thread, because I'm not willing to ignore him, at least not until he starts to drive me crazy. I had a good day---the best I've had in, well, probably since this whole nightmare started 8 weeks ago. I'm going out with a friend tonight, and it looks like I have a real date tomorrow, with a very interesting new guy . . . Link to comment
Nature Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 Feel such a strong urge to go on facebook and check out his page right now. I am determined not to. It takes one little moment to spoil all the hard work I am doing! I have been building myself up to this moment. I will not let anything or anyone to spoil my recovery! Just thought I'd rant on here instead Link to comment
Singler Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 ok so I'm on day 4 of NC.... felt pretty bad when I got home from work....so I put on some music and snapped out of wanting to call him... Link to comment
JonasWaingaro Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 Feel such a strong urge to go on facebook and check out his page right now. I am determined not to. It takes one little moment to spoil all the hard work I am doing! I have been building myself up to this moment. I will not let anything or anyone to spoil my recovery! Just thought I'd rant on here instead Trust me, stay AWAY from FB. I made that mistake yesterday. Link to comment
Lonewing Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 So she texted me last night. I don[t rememer if this breaks the NC rules, but I had to respond. And the further we got, the more clearer it got that she simply was not listening to me. So I finally put the texter down and picked up the puter and sent ehr a good solid email fully detailing the matters in such a way that she could no longer apply her shallow way of thinking to my state of being and her view of love any longer. She apologized for contacting me, told me she would not contact me, though someday we can talk and hopefully be friends...[hehe, oh boy...]..., but clearly Iam still in pain over this whole ordeal and her words are just causing me more pain. [well duh!] I might have given her a bit too much entertainment, but I will say this - she is NOT getting MY cake any longer and eating her's too!!! so, do I go back to day one, or am I now on day 6? Cause I'm fine with going back to Day one, I feel GREAT today!!! Link to comment
Nature Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 Trust me, stay AWAY from FB. I made that mistake yesterday. Thank you. I will take your advice.... Though I feel like I have urges to see his pictures. And if I do not have any contact or see him in any way, I kinda feel like I am waiting for my judgment day to arrive...life is just not the same. So hard! Link to comment
Nature Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 May I just add....my friend, that is definitely a fake feeling of 'great' ! It's a glimpse of hope. You did not need that! Link to comment
Lonewing Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 Yeah, you're probably right... but I am doing different stuff today. I picked up a new mouthpiece for this tenor sax I bought but haven;t ever played, all because I didn't have a piece to play it...and I'm transferring my music colleciton from my PC to my laptop [copy, not cut!] I'm moving forward, I do believe. The Feeling of GREAT is not hope - it's the sense of knowing I stood up for myself and I did not let her dictate to me what this life is or how to live it. And THAT felt like me taking back a piece of myself I gave her way too long ago! Link to comment
eikal Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 Day 1.. for the 3rd time. I've deleted number, FB, everything. I need to do this. Link to comment
icyness Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 I've not called/texted for a month or so now, but I feel myself going downhill very quickly. I'm crying pretty much every other minute and I want to call him so bad. If only he would talk to me; I just want to know if he ever will again. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. Link to comment
SunniDee Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 You will get through this Icyness. We're all here for you to lean on! Just don't give in! I was where you are now....the more I gave in the more power he had over me to hurt me and boy did he use it! Cutting communication is key in moving on. I had to change my number, email, etc. because me not contacting him wasn't enough- he'd contact ME. Stay strong. Cry it all out. At least you're crying in the peace of your own home, and not in front of him giving him more power over your emotions. Day 52 for me! Link to comment
icyness Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 Thank you Sunni. I'm really trying; I'd do anything for him to contact me, he hasn't. I know I could not pick up the phone if he did, I just want to know he still cares. I feel like I'm the only one who's ex isn't contacting them. Link to comment
danielle1973 Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 Thank you Sunni. I'm really trying; I'd do anything for him to contact me, he hasn't. I know I could not pick up the phone if he did, I just want to know he still cares. I feel like I'm the only one who's ex isn't contacting them. you aren't the only one. Mine isn't contacting me either. It's been just over a month since we broke up. Link to comment
Nature Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 It is my DAY 3 I hardly slept last night, I am getting a bit worried about my health these days. I am not eating and not sleeping properly. I feel as though I have no peace. I am restless. I have lectures to attend today and I just could not care less. I used to love what I do, now everything is a struggle. I often stop and wonder 'how did I ever end up feeling like this'. I never felt like this before, I always had control of myself. I can't be bothered to have a breakfast most mornings, I wake up feeling angry and frustrated, these feelings are distructive. I know it is all in the mind. I tried eveything possible in the last two years to help me move on- but nothing worked. Even if I do get better, I would get reminders, I feel that special connection that I have with him but I cannot talk or think about that, it's too freakish. All I know is I need my 60 days....57 to go! Link to comment
mellow Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 you aren't the only one. Mine isn't contacting me either. It's been just over a month since we broke up. yeah same here. Link to comment
ackerman Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 day 40 something not a good nights sleep, bad dream. shes still always my first thought when i wake up of a morning and everytime i check my phone where theres always nothing. still havent heard a thing and still depressed. Link to comment
mellow Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 going for a coffee with someone today- he knows my situation and wanted to let me talk talk about it, poor guy haha Link to comment
jENT Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 Day 6, full no contact nothing to say Link to comment
barrakuda Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 today is my 5th week of NC and is also my ex's Bday. That's why I woke up thinking about her. The good thing is that I have so many good things to do all day, that Im sure I will totally forget later. good day to you all. Link to comment
Nature Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 Even though I only had 3 days NC - I made an important decision today. I closed all my emails he can contact me via, I closed myfacebook, I changed my mobile. He can no longer contact me- I DO NOT WANT HOPE. He has had numerous chances in the last two years even though he hinted now and then he would want to be with me, he disrespected me greatly. I deserve better than this man. I do not want to hear from him and I do not want to be friends with him. Why should I be there for someone who does not give a toss about me or my feelings?!? I think this time I will win this. What a loser he's been. I cannot believe I wasted two years of my life on this person. I am sure my emotions will change tomorrow, or when the reality kicks in and the obsession to have him in my life resurfaces... Good luck all. x 1 Link to comment
Nature Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 going for a coffee with someone today- he knows my situation and wanted to let me talk talk about it, poor guy haha lol I had a similar day today. You need support of your friends... I often feel sorry for them because I suffocate them with my miserable stories and I go on and on about the guy I 'used' to be mad about. ! PS> I am using past tense here delieberately. Link to comment
Nature Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 yeah same here. Leave it another two months then- Change your phone number. Eliminate the person from your life. Link to comment
coolchick64 Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 Day 22 I feel a little strange posting here because I'm wondering whether the role of NC in my break-up has run its course . . . maybe this will be my last day. Not that I plan to initiate contact with him---I don't---but I'm not going to ignore him on principle either. I'm stronger now and less in need of NC for my own purposes. At this point, it would feel manipulative to blow him off. I'm finally starting to feel true acceptance of the break-up, without anger or a strong desire to reconcile. Maybe an open mind . . . but that's it. I don't think that means it's all behind me. The way things have gone, I could be crying tomorrow. I know I'm still swimming, but at least I can see the beach. Today has been good. Last night I danced my butt off and had an absolute blast. This afternoon I had my first real post-break up date. Not sure how interested I am in the new guy, but at least I'm putting myself out there again. To all of you new NCers, I was exactly where you are when I was in the early days---it may not seem possible now, but it does get better with time. Link to comment
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