Ixtapa Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 I did not speak with her even though I called? You didn't break NC. You didnt speak to her and she has no way to know it was you (she might be wondering....but she probably has been wondering all along if you still think about her and miss her, etc). Must be extremely hard for you though....I know I would be dying to speak to my ex if I knew he was leaving my country !!! Link to comment
lionquack Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 You didn't break NC. You didnt speak to her and she has no way to know it was you (she might be wondering....but she probably has been wondering all along if you still think about her and miss her, etc). Must be extremely hard for you though....I know I would be dying to speak to my ex if I knew he was leaving my country !!! Thanks Ixtapa. It is so difficult to not initiate contact since i found this out last nite. To think she will leave with out saying bye is gut renching for me. I have tried to go over and over in my head what i would ask her and say but cant find anyhting without coming accross needy and desperate. She has made no effort to contact me..... Link to comment
looking4ward Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Day 3- My personal challenge is going to be only responding (briefly and politely) to his attempts at contact and to NOT initiate any of my own- need to givehim time and space. He emailed last night "Smile." and I responded with "I am now hope that was ok? Although I did imply I wasn't happy before he emailed me, oh well, -K Link to comment
Qut81 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Day 6 I keep thinking about him hanging/dating other ppl. But Ive learned to tell myself that its been 6 mos and its bound to happen. Then, I force myself to think of something else. Ive been doing everything suggested to get over him, including the gym. So far, its has been helping. Sometimes I get the urge to check his facebook/myspace but it only makes me feel worse. Ive been learning to let go little by little. Im getting happier little by little. Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Day 6 I keep thinking about him hanging/dating other ppl. But Ive learned to tell myself that its been 6 mos and its bound to happen. Then, I force myself to think of something else. Ive been doing everything suggested to get over him, including the gym. So far, its has been helping. Sometimes I get the urge to check his facebook/myspace but it only makes me feel worse. Ive been learning to let go little by little. Im getting happier little by little. dont go fishing for information.. its just going to set you back even more.. if u feel like fishing just pm me first and ill talk you out of it!! btw NC for over 2 weeks now .. woo hoo! Link to comment
CanesGirl85 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Day 6. Doing better and better gradually each day. I still love him so its freakin HARD. Sometimes I don't understand WHY it is I love him, considering how cruel he's been. I don't check my phone nearly as often, and am getting ready to go on a week and a half vacation in another 6 days, so THAT will help me alot, I think. Sometimes I get really down, and wish for him to call, thinking I would answer it immediately. But then I remember how he treated me with such indifference towards the end, how he really didn't care when and if he next saw me. How everything else came first, and how he couldn't even reply to a TEXT message. And the urge to call subsides, and I know I'll be strong if he DOES call me...and how I will NOT call him back. If he has something to say genuinely, he can come find me. But he's never ever been serious like that about me. I would initiate everything, and he never seemed to appreciate it. That strengthens me. I will keep going and do the best I can for ME. He's the one who is losing out, and maybe one day he'll see that, maybe he won't. It's his problem-i have a heart, I can love and I have feelings, which is more than I can say for him. And that will strengthen me too as I go on, the next man in my life will be SO lucky. Link to comment
Qut81 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 dont go fishing for information.. its just going to set you back even more.. if u feel like fishing just pm me first and ill talk you out of it!! btw NC for over 2 weeks now .. woo hoo! yay!! Go you! Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Thats the spirit.. remember think with your head not your heart.. he knows how you feel and still doesnt care.. dont let him weasel back way into your life if he calls.. Think about the effort you put into this relationship to make it work.. until he is able to put forth that amount of effort he wont be READY for you .. and one phone call that you ignore isnt going to stop if he really loves you and wants you back.. but dont hold on to him coming back... move on.. let go.. i know its hard.. but be strong and get through this .. so you can be happy in the future! Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 yay!! Go you! thanks! where in tampa u from? i live in orlando Link to comment
Qut81 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 thanks! where in tampa u from? i live in orlando West Tampa Man there is a lot of ppl from my area on here. Maybe I shouldnt be posting LOL Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 West Tampa Man there is a lot of ppl from my area on here. Maybe I shouldnt be posting LOL haha.. guess a lot of people get dumped around here.. Link to comment
jarias2311 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Day 5.. I felt really strong last night n I told myself that I wouldn't let this get to me anymore but when I woke up I find that I still feel the same. Here's to another day.. Link to comment
Qut81 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 haha.. guess a lot of people get dumped around here.. LOL...how depressing. Link to comment
Cat76 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Hi All I've come back for a little visit. I am up to day 40, and I had to go back to my old posts to check that! I'll try and remember when I get to 60 and have a little celebration...LOL Things didn't work out with the new guy I met, but that's ok, there was no emotional investment and it took my mind off the ex relationship. Most things are good. I hope everyone else is ok Cat x Link to comment
imjgh Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Hi All I've come back for a little visit. I am up to day 40, and I had to go back to my old posts to check that! I'll try and remember when I get to 60 and have a little celebration...LOL Things didn't work out with the new guy I met, but that's ok, there was no emotional investment and it took my mind off the ex relationship. Most things are good. I hope everyone else is ok Cat x hey cat, good to hear from you...i'm starting on my own nc since i'm about to have an ex for real....she should be here within the hour...i will post back when she's gone....i don't expect anything other than an exchange of stuff and good byes.... glad there is happiness on the other side...i am ready to get back to being the happy guy i am normally...this has taken a toll on me and you know what, life is too short to waste even one day.... Link to comment
Cat76 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 hey cat, good to hear from you...i'm starting on my own nc since i'm about to have an ex for real....she should be here within the hour...i will post back when she's gone....i don't expect anything other than an exchange of stuff and good byes.... glad there is happiness on the other side...i am ready to get back to being the happy guy i am normally...this has taken a toll on me and you know what, life is too short to waste even one day.... Hi imjgh I've highlighted my favourite part of your post, that's how I feel now, so it has to be a positive that you can at least think it every now and then (maybe not all the time, just yet) It's really easy for me to say 'it get's better' and 'give it time' because I'm in a place where I am quite happy to be on my own or with someone (actually at the moment, I think I would prefer to be on my own, but I'm not sure why yet..hmm..have to figure that one out). I hope it goes ok (not the right word, I know) tonight. Cat Link to comment
imjgh Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Hi imjgh I've highlighted my favourite part of your post, that's how I feel now, so it has to be a positive that you can at least think it every now and then (maybe not all the time, just yet) It's really easy for me to say 'it get's better' and 'give it time' because I'm in a place where I am quite happy to be on my own or with someone (actually at the moment, I think I would prefer to be on my own, but I'm not sure why yet..hmm..have to figure that one out). I hope it goes ok (not the right word, I know) tonight. Cat it's all becoming very very real....and there is good in there....i know that there will be better days ahead...and reading posts from people like you helps...i went 30 days till just a week ago so i know i can do it again. there is some information that might make the break easier to take...not easy but easier... i'll know soon enough, will be glad it's over and i can close that chapter of my life and move to the next one...i hear this chapter is filled with romance and fun lol..... i know i have to process things but having this place to hang out will be a great help... you keep on doing well, you gotta set the example .... Link to comment
baffled Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 Yeah I called her. Sue me. She doesn't have many friends and I didn't want her 30th birthday to go unacknowledged by me. Back to day 0. Link to comment
looking4ward Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 Finishing day 3 (Actually LC)- doing ok, but thinking about him a lot. I'm pretty sure things aren't really over between us but I'm trying to handle this one in the "right" way- not the psychotic mess I was with the last break up, keep strong everyone! _K Link to comment
lionquack Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 Day 17 - well I did not break NC on day 16 but definitely did yesterday. Since I found she is leaving the country ina week or so I texted her yesterday. Not to reconcile but to so we can talk so we can gain some closure as the things that happened between both of us have affected us both. No reposnse yet and dont think she will repsond. its only been 3.5 weeks since we broke up!! Link to comment
Qut81 Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 Day 7 Is it normal to go thru periods of happiness, saddness, and bitterness? Is this the acceptance process? Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 Day 7 Is it normal to go thru periods of happiness, saddness, and bitterness? Is this the acceptance process? yes... i feel bitter, sad, angry and happy all in one day.. its a process.. eventually the times you feel happy will outweigh the times u feel bitter, sad, and agry..and eventually u wont feel that way anymore and just be plane happy.. 16 days of NC btw.. feeling better and better everyday.. Link to comment
Qut81 Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 yes... i feel bitter, sad, angry and happy all in one day.. its a process.. eventually the times you feel happy will outweigh the times u feel bitter, sad, and agry..and eventually u wont feel that way anymore and just be plane happy.. 16 days of NC btw.. feeling better and better everyday.. Good for you! Keep it up. Its amazing how one person can make you feel all of these things. Oh well, one day at a time. I went 2 months NC before so my goal this time is 3 months. Wish me luck! Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 Good for you! Keep it up. Its amazing how one person can make you feel all of these things. Oh well, one day at a time. I went 2 months NC before so my goal this time is 3 months. Wish me luck! i think ur goal should be to move on and let go.. however long that may take.. Link to comment
Rebel-D Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 Could someone tell me if it's best to let them know you are going NC? I want him back but know it's not going to happen. We've tried once before but he just couldn't get back the feelings he had at the start. It was my barriers and issues that resulted in the first split. I did change when we tried again though. He finished with my on Thursday, we chatted for a bit on Saturday then I saw him on Sunday. It was obvious he is happy enough just being friends. Actually he'd go either way, whichever is easiest for me. This is a good, respectful guy so if I said contact was difficult he'd respect that and not contact me. Link to comment
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