THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[dhjjessel]

Day 1

NC started a few weeks ago

Broke last week when she called about something unimportant. I didnt answer but called back later having obsessed all day about what it might be, i called back

Saw her couple of days ago cycling home but she didnt see me and I didnt bother trying.

I still love her

she is with someone else (i think)

[HawkeyeDenny]

Day4 starting, did talk to her after midnite when she called but told her officially that I was in NC unless she had plans for me in her life in the future as more than just friends.

 

Going to FL for a week tomorrow so that should be an easy week of NC I hope. I don't think she is going to choose me over moving back home to family so I am moving on and focusing on me.

[imjgh]

yesterday was really difficult....since we live a ways apart wed was the one night we almost always saw each other. it's been 3 weeks since i saw her.....

 

i have 14 more days until we will sit down and talk--at least i hope we talk. closure or a new start, either way it will be preferable to where i am right now which is torturous.

 

still through this experience i have learned some important facts about myself--i will be ok regardless and i'm giving her what she wanted, what else could i have done?

 

i am choosing to have faith and trust her and believe we'll work things out....this patience thing is so difficult....

[hulk7280]

well today has been a tough one so far..

 

i miss her.. and for the first time i feel like contacting her and just ending this.. i miss talking to her and just joking with her.. we have such good chemistry together..

 

its not fair.. I helped mend her heart.. in return she broke mine..

 

BUT i know i cant, she just isnt the same person, i cant keep letting her disrespect me and hurt me.. I have to move on and let go.. its the only way..

 

I need some strength today .. I feel weak..

 

NC day 4.. pluggin away...

[imjgh]

i know what you mean hulk...i get the same way...hang in there...go do something...turn off the computer and get out...

 

one thing that has helped me is i have some free time so i am doing volunteer work at a couple places--new people to meet and doing something good to help out others...i feel better for having done it and the benefit is i don't think about her as much.

[pg13]

I had the urge to text her this morning a few minutes after I woke up. I'm so sad that the 18 days of NC I had was wasted. Now I feel worse than before, because now she's not replying to anything I say and it feels like indifference towards me. I wish I never looked at her myspace.

 

I need strength. I need it so bad right now.

 

I'm letting this affect my school, my everyday routine, my hobbies.

 

Why do I keep trying to come back to someone who showed dishonesty, disrespect, and selfishness? She chose a group of friends over our relationship. She chose to hurt me so many times, and I kept coming back for more.

 

How can someone say they want to work things out but can't put enough effort because of her "schedule". Now that she's not busy, she can't even respond. That is so cruel to lead me on like that.

[hulk7280]

I feel exactly the same way.. I find strength in knowing im doing the right thing by staying in NC.. there will be no good in me contacting her..

[montgomery]

day 1, hoo-ha.

 

she contacted me on IM yesterday, but only on a work-related matter, which we then had to talk about, which was fine. however, I stupidly kept the IM conversation going afterwards.

 

it's stupid, really. it was little more than a fling, which she started but now doesn't seem to have mattered to her at all, but is consuming my entire life.

 

and if I didn't have to see her every day, I'm sure I'd be fine. y'know, I'm an adult, and not even a young adult. I'm less annoyed with her than I am with myself at my inability to deal with it better.

 

in a BRILLIANT twist, we're having an office shuffle, and it now looks like I'll not only have to see her every single day, but ALL day every single day. she's going to be sitting right over there, right in my eyeline.

 

someone up there's got a sick sense of humour, man.

[dhjjessel]

Day 1 (still)

just got a call from her

she wanted me to do a job for her (i used to work for the company she now works for)

I said i couldnt, which is true. We then got into a convo about how busy my life is, found out she was going to sardinia for a Hen party this weekend. Told her to have a lovely time, kept everything very friendly. Did also ask her if she felt that there were things still left unsaid between us. She said of course there were, but couldnt possibly start talking about it now. Ended with wishing well etc. No mention about her new boyfriend. She did ask whether I had been seeing anyone. I told her it is hard to like new girls when i compare them to her all the time. Basically i probably really screwed up. I have run out of ways to defend myself

[mikel01]

Made it through Day 3. It was tough, but I did it. Now on to Day 4 and I feel good. I am beginning to appreciate the break up because I am making decisions for my future that I would not even fathom before because it would not have included him. Last night I started to think. When I was with him, I had him but not much else because my focus was on him and him only. It wasn't his fault. It was my own and I take responsibility for myself. I no longer have him in my life, but now I have so much more so the I think the trade off is in my favor. Thanks M*******. You did a good thing.

[Tanzi]

Day 17

 

I actually woke up and didn't feel like I have other mornings. I didn't feel great but I didn't feel as bad as others.

 

I am having a "cat wobble" right now tho. It just suddenly hit me that this is for real - I am never going to see him again. I am never going to hear his voice again. He is never going to be there for me with his advice and strength when I've had a hard day with the girls. He was my strength, my sanity, my rock and now he has gone. He doesn't want me and it is hurting.

[imjgh]

Day 17

 

I actually woke up and didn't feel like I have other mornings. I didn't feel great but I didn't feel as bad as others.

 

I am having a "cat wobble" right now tho. It just suddenly hit me that this is for real - I am never going to see him again. I am never going to hear his voice again. He is never going to be there for me with his advice and strength when I've had a hard day with the girls. He was my strength, my sanity, my rock and now he has gone. He doesn't want me and it is hurting.

jelly,

 

i don't know you very well but you are your strength, you are sane and fully capable of leading your life in a most wonderful fashion. you were just as fantastic a person BEFORE you two met and you will continue to be that same person.

 

each of us derive our happiness from our version of God, from the things we enjoy in our lives, from our family. if a certain person chooses to not be a part of our lives then THEY are the one's who lose out. there is a reason for everything.

 

easy to say i know, i'm on day 17 too and it does hurt, and it will continue to hurt but the hurt will subside and we each WILL one day look back and know it was for the best.

 

hang in there!!! you need to be strong so you can be an encourager to others in the future.

[Tanzi]

Thank you, I know you are right. I have no doubt that I am doing the right thing and I know I will carry it through this time. It is still painful tho.

[imjgh]

i know jelly...it is painful....i experience sadness every single day, anger every single day, doubts every single day....it seems like a bad dream, i want to wake up and everything be ok....but it isn't...

[Tanzi]

i know jelly...it is painful....i experience sadness every single day, anger every single day, doubts every single day....it seems like a bad dream, i want to wake up and everything be ok....but it isn't...

 

 

But it will be.

[pg13]

Day 0 still.

 

Had a brief talk earlier today for about 10 minutes. She got upset at the NC on my end. Don't know if reconciliation is a possibility. Still waiting on her response.

 

In other news, well I just found out my first ex is in a softcore porn pay site. I don't know whether to feel proud or disappointed?

[tazzz55]

Just got off the phone with her. Anyways, she wants to break it off after 18 months. So, guess day 0 of NC starts today.

 

I kind of saw it coming. We were having a bad week. Lot's of miscommunications between us. This has been the biggest issue between us. I was planning on talking with her this weekend about moving it together for the summer. Guess the timing was off a bit...

 

Going to visit my parents for the long weekend, so I will be able to maintain NC until Tuesday next week. After that, I'll just do it a day at a time I guess. Shouldn't be hard to maintain NC physically as she is about 50 minutes away by car.

 

Funny, I don't feel all that bad about it right now. Think it hasn't really set in yet.

 

Wait a second, it's starting to set in. Starting to feel the panic. Guess I won't get much sleep tonight.

[Ekips]

Day 12

Hi everyone. I'm new. Congrats JohnGalt: gives me hope. My bf of 3.5 years broke it off 6 weeks ago, talked every weekend for four weeks and I implemented NC 2 weeks ago b/c the conversations we had didn't lead to anything and I ddin't want to torture myself believing if I stayed friends we could reconcile. Silly I know. I miss him dearly. I believed we were meant to be together. We were both very busy (I have a demanding career and he is in grad school... so lots of stress). We spent every weekend together. I tried my darndest to make sure he was happy (b/c his happiness means the world to me)... so hard I forgot about me sometimes. Everything I did, it was for us. He started to make new friends and I suppose I was not THE priority anymore. He told me he wanted to be single and felt smothered. Did i mention we live in 45 min. apart? After about a month of LC, I told him I want to respect his wishes because I respect what we had, and if he was going to call to discuss us reconciling, I would be open to discussing it, but if he was calling to just chat (about nothing), then I didn't want to go down that path. I told him I was doing well and it sounded like he was doing well and wanted to leave it at that. (I got this idea from another post--thanks). It has been 12 days since. I have faith that the relationship can be saved, but he has to be the one that calls, not me. Nothing will change until he thinks (or has) lost me. I can't play second fiddle. This is the only way the relationship can move forward in a healthy way. I am slowly getting myself back to who I was and working towards a better me. I still think of him and there's not a day that has not gone by that I don't wake up and my eyes well up. I see him in everything I do and he is in my dreams. I can't escape him even in my sleep. I know my heart exists because I am breathing and alive, but for now I can't feel it. He has it... and doesn't even know. But I can't call.... I am doing this for me.

[imjgh]

ekips,

 

i can so feel the pain in your words especially about waking up and thinking of that other person, i do the exact same thing. i woke up a few nights ago and it was surreal, i didn't know if it was a dream or not but i was so angry it was happening....all i could do was scream out and hit the pillow to release some energy.

 

my heart is hurting so much......

 

they say misery loves company, frankly i wish we could all find happiness in our lives and never have to come back to this site again.

 

hang in there, one day at a time...it will get better at least i hope so...

[dhjjessel]

Day 2

She is away this weekend in Sardinia

she is probably still with her new guy. She wants to meet up when she gets back from the weekend. I dont think i should. I am not over her

I cant believe after 5 months of being apart i am still so weak, so unchanged

[ScorpiGal83]

don't meet up with her. what happened to NC? Just leave her in the past. she's possibly with another man. why do you want to keep torturing yourself and setting yourself so far back... you only have to start it all over again.

[ScorpiGal83]

HA HA HA. Cute people at the gym, always makes me work a bit harder on the treadmill...LOL

 

hehe I KNOW! My trainer was SO flirting with me yesterday. it's a really nice feeling. I mean I knw it's so cliche but I don't care. I need me some good flirtatious fun.

 

Congrats on making it to 3 weeks Cat!

 

Pace, hang in there buddy Good luck with your situation.

[ScorpiGal83]

Oh yeah, it's Day 50! OMG

[dhjjessel]

don't meet up with her. what happened to NC? Just leave her in the past. she's possibly with another man. why do you want to keep torturing yourself and setting yourself so far back... you only have to start it all over again.

 

Should i not even work out what she wants from me? this need she has to meet up with me; if that is for the purpose of starting a friendship again, then i need to know that's what she wants. If not, then she is still unable to tell me where i stand, and she will have to accept my need for distance

[Cat76]

Oh yeah, it's Day 50! OMG

 

YAY, congratulations. Roll on the next 50 days!!!