Getting back together really does happen!

[Girly23]

Can you post the link of your story again?

[Emma0793]

Was with my ex for two years.

He started seeing someone else. Saw i was seeing someone else we got back together was brokeen up for two month.

 

Back together another two years broke up again he went back to the same girl. After two months we got back together.

 

One year together we broke up again. Has been two months. Think its for good this time.

[Ronaway]

My gf and I are going through a very painful breakup because shes wanting to be alone/single. I am 25 (M) she's 23 (F).

 

We've been together for about 4 and a half years. And a few days ago she's come to the point of not wanting to be in a relationship anymore. I am utterly devastated, have taken time off work, and depressed.

 

We've been living together for about 3 and half years. She is confused whether she wants to be alone to have her own space to focus on herself, or to be single and available. We've never taken a break before so I'm wondering once she moves out that if she will come to her senses..or not.

 

I could only hope I can be as fortunate as the people on your list.

[happiness88]

Ok so, this forum has helped me and many others a great deal.

I would like to share a few stories I know of to give everybody out there hope and to keep the thread going - it's on it's 7th year now - INSANE. I do believe reading these stories is ok - getting back together does happen. What you'll find from every story on here is that ultimately every ending is happy eventually - you will be happy if you get back together or not. I have so many I could share but I'll choose my top 8.

 

1) D and K

 

My sister went D out with this guy K for a total of 7 years - during that time they were broken up once for a year and once for 6 months and countless numerous short breaks. they didn't end up together as in the end their had been issues that couldn't be overcome but they reconciled many times. When he dumped her and she chased it never worked, ultimately when she'd give up hope he'd come around. The longest this took was 6 months at one point. By the end he had changed a lot and improved but she says he'd done too many bad things, she eventually fell in love with someone else and left him. Don't worry if you hear this and think this is you and you've done bad things - I'm not talking arguments or disagreements - I mean rally bad things like saying he was only with her till he found someone better etc. she's now happily married to a different man. I don't know how it ended up for him in the end.

 

2) S and H

 

My friend in high school (S) dated a guy (H) who was 8 or 9 years older than her. they broke up twice. Their total relationship was 2.5 years -they broke up once in that time for 7 months. Initially she begged and pleaded - wrote emails, letters, sent him screenshots of cute messages, sent him their favourite songs, eventually she stopped begging they had no contact for a number of months (maybe 5 or 6). Eventually he reached out and they got back together (Total separation =7 months) Later he dumped her again - she took it badly (self harm, suicidial, depressed) but after about 4 months she met a new guy who she went on to date for 4 years. A total of 1.5 years after the original guy (H) dumped her he called to say he had made the worst mistake of his life, felt suicidal was consumed with regret. she says he had been the most stubborn guy and never imagined this happening in a million years. This was about 2.5 -3 years ago and he still calls her to this day drunk saying he wished she would take him back. They intermittently talk with one another.

 

3) K and J

My other sister K and this guy (J) from her work had a on off thing for about 2 years - I don't know if they were dating or just like seeing one another casually - she is very private. Out of nowhere he is done with her and seems to call it off - they go back and forth for 6 months - she wants to talk it out and have answers and he is totally disinterested and messes her around e.g saying he will call and doesn't multiple times. She gives up after about 6 months and doesn't see him at work ever again (they work in huge offices and in different teams). 1.5 years later he calls her - that was 3 or 4 years ago. He still calls her to present day. He never explicitly asks for a reunion but she thinks he might propose one if she was more responsive - she assumes this based on the frequency and persistence in contact.

 

4) S and M

in university my sister was mates with this very attractive guy (S) - he had a few flings with girls and maybe even dated, I'm not sure though, but was also still in contact with his high school gf (M) whom he had split from because their families wouldn't accept each other (religion/race reasons - dumb I know) and because they had gone to different universities. The gf would come over sometimes - they had an on off relationship she even dated another guy for a year. My sister says this guy really loved that girl because when she was dating other people he kept saying she deserved a chance to see if she was happier with someone else. So I don't know the details but they just got married in Santorini -he is 29 years old now - so 8 years after university. My sister says they have been together for the last 2 years. So almost a six year break post uni/on-off at least.

 

 

5) E and her boyfriend

 

So one of my friend's her uni friend (E) had been going out with this guy for a few years, I'm not sure who breaks it off but they split - he apparently had some growing up to do and had made a few mistakes. After 5 months of complete no contact he says he can't live without her - he comes back and has to win her over (showing up at her house/buying her gifts/writing her a song). They are now engaged and she apparently calls all the shots.

 

6) S and M

 

Towards the end of high school my friend (S) dates a guy (M) for about 2 years (age 16 to 18 ) - he goes off to Cambridge and she does a gap year - a few months into uni he dumps her - she is sad but gets over it. They remain very low contact - the following year she goes to university and maybe about 7 or 8 months later starts going out with a guy. The original guy comes back at the end of my friend's first year of University - so I think a total of almost 2 years later. She isn't interested anymore - she is till with the new guy 4 years later and they are looking to buy a place together.

 

7) D and R

My sister went our with this guy ® for 1 year who she said was the perfect guy they never fought they were perfect together, crazy happy. Randomly shortly after their 1 hear anniversary he dumps her - she is devastated and flies to Scotland where he is working. They reconcile on the spot. A few days later he dumps her again saying he made a mistake reconciling. She is 27/8 and he is about 23 - I think he got scared of the intensity. She is devastated and heartbroken but moves on. 1 year later he contacts her saying hello - she basically tells him to off. He tries to initiate contact a few more times after that - she never replies.

 

8 )

My friend ® and her boyfriend (S) were together for approximately 10 years - they have now split but I believe they may end up back together. They broke it off numerous times - sometimes going no contact for periods of up to 9 months or more. She says in the 10 year time period they split 4-5 times, for months at a time. I think if two people love one another there can be numerous chances depending on why the split happened. At present they have been split for about 6 months and the girl has been with a new guy for 4 months - bare in mind though that she gave this guy NUMEROUS chances and took him back multiple times. So their relationship entailed a lot of reconciliations and second, third, fourth and fifth chances even!

 

So, based on the numerous stories I've heard - most dumpers eventually come back - in the range of 6 months to 2 years. I think if you had a good relationship and were generally in love but had some bad mistakes that fondness remains once time has healed the wounds of fighting/arguing. To those who have been dumped - there is a good chance the dumper will come back. I also know of some dumpers who didn't come back - however those are ones where the dumpee eventually realised the relationship was basically a joke and there was no real connection and the dumpee eventually didn't care anyway. Any two people who had a meaningful and true connection at some point in their lives often reconcile or at the very least speak again in some capacity.

 

Note to the dumpers: dumpees will be truly heartbroken over you and extremely hurt. I think there is a window of opportunity to rectify this - up to 6 months - possibly 1 year. In the above scenarios the male dumpers came back to a number of women but were rejected because too much time had passed. Those women still all felt fondly of those men to some degree but felt it was just too late. I think in the case of S and M above who now recently got married - you can see that they needed time to grow - their love survived over a decade with multiple splits/separations/dating others - if someone truly loves you and you love them you can overcome a lot. If you don't because one or the two of you give up - then be grateful - that would never have made for a lasting relationship anyway.

 

Hope this lifts your spirits guys

I literally made an account just to post this so hope it helps someone

[cyssan]

Thanks, everyone for these uplifting stories. I'm 3 weeks after a very painful breakup with my girlfriend (23), who tells me she can't be in a relationship anymore, her feelings have changed, she doesn't feel free, she doesn't see me in her future, she still wants to do a lot of things, just wants to think of "right now" (YOLO??)....but after all these reasons, I guess it all boils down to she doesn't love me anymore. She told me I've always been perfect for/to her, and that she will regret this down the road, and staying with me would be the smartest decision.....but here I am and I still don't get it. I wake up every morning feeling gutted. We had our closure talk 3 days ago so it's D3 of NC for me now. We were together 2.5 years, and had a very good relationship until it all went downhill beginning September when she said her feelings have changed. Tried my best to work it out (all whole nine yards!) but she didn't want to work on the relationship anymore.

 

Deep in my heart I know the only way we could have another chance at reconciliation is to let God/fate/time and space to do their jobs. Just like the stories here. She told me not to wait for her, thinks she'll only be holding me back, and while I can tell everyone I won't....I'm actually scared that I will. At this point I even think I can wait 10 years. And maybe I'll come back here and post my own story.

[clinto]

I'll share my story here, I've actually read through this whole forum myself. I am 29 and I'll be 30 in a few weeks and my ex girlfriend is 23, so we had about a 7 year age difference. We had our first date and the rest was history, we fell madly in love. We spent literally every weekend together and saw each other almost every day. The first couple of months were the best of my life. Then we started arguing about silly stuff mostly. She was super jealous, insecure and clingy. Well, long story short after 5 months of being together we had a big argument and split. We stayed broke up for 4 days and I did the begging and pleading and she wasn't having any of it. Well, I decided to go NC and after close to 24 hours of NC she called me and we got back together. That lasted about a month and a half and we fell right back into our old ways. This was about 3 weeks ago and I think this time it's for good. It was fairly civil and we met up about a week after breaking up and got closure. We both agreed that we rushed back into it after the first breakup and didn't give each other enough time. We both said that it was possible in the future that we could try it again, but neither of us are clinging to that and said we were going to date and move on. I just know after reading these forums that anything can happen. It's been a rough time, but I know it's for the best.

[AisforBroken]

Finally finished reading this thread and I'm honestly extremely sad to be done. This has helped me through a lot of rough days at work.

 

Anyway, I'm a little over 3 months out from my own breakup and these stories give me hope, not that I really NEED it, but it's nice to have some reassurance that getting back together DOES happen, quite often, if the love was real. I know in my heart he will come back around, someday. I'm just being as patient as possible and waiting for him to be ready... I'm so confident, because I know our love was absolutely real, but I still get the anxiety and un-sureness sometimes, which sucks, but I have to tell myself it's not true. This thread helps. I think I'll go back and read again if I need to.

 

Anyway, I have a couple stories. The first one is my own. I'll give all the details I can.

 

My current ex and I (the one who brought me here) met in August 2009, I had just moved to his city for college, met through a mutual friend, became really good friends and then and we fell madly in love very quickly, kind of by accident (I wasn't even attracted to him at first). Anyway, I got homesick after my first semester and was somewhat depressed because I was living with my aunt and she was suffocating me (10 oclock cerfew, no spending the night... my first semester of college... not ideal), so I decided to move back home. When I left, we were very much in love and I broke the news to him that I was unhappy and I was moving home. I kinda/sorta broke it off even though I didn't want to, only because I didn't know if we would ever be able to be together again, since we would be in different states. Plus, at this point we had only known each other for like 4 months. But we continued to talk and decided to do a LDR because our connection was just unreal (first "REAL" intense love, pure and innocent, blah blah). After a few months at home, we just got closer, he visited a couple times, and he asked me to move back there and in with him (at his parents house). I agreed, we were both extremely excited and anxious to have something to look forward to. So I moved back out in May 2010 and we were disgustingly happy for a very short while, but life got in the way QUICKLY... I couldn't find a job, and felt like I had no independence at his parents house, and not many friends apart from his, and I became really clingy and needy and jealous because he was basically my entire world and he broke the news to me one day that "he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore." This was October 2010, a little over a year after we first became official (including the time I moved home), and only 5 months after I had moved in with him.

 

Needless to say, I was absolutely mortified that I had moved my life to be with him and he just "decided" after 5 months that he didn't want it anymore. I just accepted the breakup and moved my things out, back in with my aunt, while he was at work one day. I questioned him for a short while and cried to him when I went to pick up a couple missing things, but he wasn't having it. I finished my semester, with him in one of my classes, then moved home. I found a journal recently that I kept at the time and it was extreme pain. I lost about 15 lbs, cried on the subway nearly every day on the way to school, and was very depressed. I actually remember laying on the floor of my friend's condo one night, during a "get together" and listening to a sad song over and over and crying. But I also remember (and see in my writing) that a HUGE part of me KNEW we would be together again. I don't know how I was so sure, but I just knew. It just felt like we were "meant to be" even though I'm not sure I even believe in all that. Something was telling me it would be okay, but I couldn't listen to it (anxiety/ unsureness... you know)

 

Anyway, we tried to meet up as friends once in the next couple months, but it was way too weird/ hard for me... so I stopped talking to him for about a month... fast forward to the day I was leaving to move back home. I texted him that I was leaving/ goodbye and he responded that he still loved me (GREAT timing). I focused on me when I got home, didn't really talk much for probably a month or 2 (I can't remember if I did active NC or LC - I didn't even know what that was at the time) but I know I was focusing on me, having a great time with all of my friends back home, and forgetting him. I didn't see the point talking to him because I was back home anyway and didn't see any way for us to be together. (I know it was incredibly difficult, but my friends kept me busy).

 

In Feb/ March 2011, he reached out to me because he needed a friend. His parents were in a life threatening motorcycle accident and his best friend was having a psychotic break, so I was there for him. I was over him at this point, so I was okay being a friend to him. We started talking more and he found out I was coming back to his city to finish my degree and he PURSUED ME HARD. At this point, I was completely over him. I actually wanted to stay single to live the "college life" with my new roommates, but he was doing everything he could to prove to me he was worth it. Talking about a future, saying how much he regretted everything, how big of a mistake he made, etc. We slowly got back into a relationship-ish routine of talking on the phone and texting constantly and he came to visit and then we took a trip together in June, a month before I was set to move back and solidified that we would be back together.

 

Well... we lasted for another 5+ years, until this last August (2016) when he gave me the same exact line, "I don't want to be in a relationship anymore." And you know what... it's because of the same EXACT problems that led to the first one. I had lived on my own for those 4 of those 5 years and about a year after I had moved back in with him (into his parent's house again), I lost my independence, and started to get needy and clingy and jealous and demanded way too much from him... made him my whole world and got mad when he didn't reciprocate. It's like de-ja ****ing vu. Anyway, I'm 3 months out and I'm going to be damn sure that if/when he comes back that will NEVER happen again. I have so much work to do, but I know our connection is far too deep and our love is way too real for him to just walk away forever and never look back. I know we'll be fine, EVENTUALLY, I just have to be fine first.

 

 

 

Second story is my mom and step dad. I don't know all the gory details, but I remember going through it as a kid. My step dad and mom were married for probably 5-6 years when he cheated on her with his ex wife and she left him. I couldn't tell you how long they were apart but he was extremely depressed, even got on anti-depressants. I remember when he would come get me and take me to dinner, he would be listening to the saddest love songs in the car (I put your picture away by Kid Rock and Cheryl Crow was a favorite haha). I was only a kid at the time (10-11) so I didn't know everything that was going on, and I only saw him once a week, but my mom dated multiple other guys during the time they were apart (couldn't tell you how long, but more than a year). One of them got her pregnant, with my brother, and they moved in together and everything. He ended up being a total **** to me all the time, telling her she should take me out of private school and she eventually kicked him out. That Christmas I remember going to my step dad's the week before and he told me to call my mom and tell her she could come over (she was alone, dropped me off to see him). She came over, we moved back in a few months later, they got remarried and have been together for the last 12 years. They seem happy for the most part. Content... He definitely learned his lesson.

 

 

Sorry this was so long, hopefully someone appreciates the details haha.

[AisforBroken]

One more... my current ex's parents had a split in their marriage too. All I know is his dad was on a lot of pain medication when my ex was a child and his mom looked elsewhere because she probably wasn't feeling fulfilled and I guess he was a complete ass when he was on meds, and she ended up cheating on his dad, I think it was a full on affair. I heard it was really dramatic... like he might have even threatened to kill them or something... (and he's been in prison, he doesn't mess around haha) but they are back together now and happy and will definitely be together for the rest of their lives. They are WAY too comfortable with each other and set in their ways to split up and she is the epitome of a wife, does everything for him!

 

Just shows that if you have that connection, even the worst circumstances can be turned around.

 

That's why I'm sure it will be okay for me... no cheating, no huge blowouts, no serious dramatics... we just needed a step back to remember that we DO love each other, and maybe look elsewhere for a while to realize that there is nothing better out there. (I think we both were having a bit of GIGS, together since we were 18...)

 

This has been the worst couple/ few months of my entire life, I've been severely depressed, but you'd never know it from the outside looking at me (and definitely not on social media haha!). The first month was literally absolute hell. I don't even know how I survived it, to be honest. I didn't know it was even possible to feel that low and be in such a dark place. And all that time, I was texting him... embarrassing myself... ahhh MISTAKE. That definitely set me back. NC has been THE best form of therapy so far. It DOES help, and it DOES get better every day, so I have hope it will continue to get better. Day 28 NC.... we'll see how much longer I can last ha

[Mmmc228]

A recent reuniting story!

 

A girl in my sorority got broken up with by her boyfriend because they were fighting a lot and she had become super dependent on the relationship. They dated for around 10 months their senior year of college. She tried begging for him back for like a week and he still refused, saying they shouldn't be together, etc. She found random excuses to talk to him or drunk text him for around two months before she decided that enough was enough. She stopped reaching out to him and got her life together. Really grew up during the three month breakup and realized she needed to be more secure for her future relationships, either with him or someone else. She did NC for around 3-4 weeks. He contacted her and asked her to dinner, then he asked for a second chance. She said their relationship is 10x as good as it was before because they both worked on themselves and she learned to not pick dumb fights anymore. He said that when he didn't hear from her, he was worried that she was moving on and thought about her constantly. Just goes to show you that they don't forget about you during NC.

 

I can only hope this happens for me! I had a similar situation happen to me and I am currently in over a week of NC, two weeks since the BU. I am focusing on myself and trying to overcome my insecurities. I hope he comes back.. but we shall see! These posts have really brightened my day, even if they aren't going to be reality for me.

[Popbradley]

My gf and I are going through a very painful breakup because shes wanting to be alone/single. I am 25 (M) she's 23 (F).

 

We've been together for about 4 and a half years. And a few days ago she's come to the point of not wanting to be in a relationship anymore. I am utterly devastated, have taken time off work, and depressed.

 

 

 

We've been living together for about 3 and half years. She is confused whether she wants to be alone to have her own space to focus on herself, or to be single and available. We've never taken a break before so I'm wondering once she moves out that if she will come to her senses..or not.

 

I could only hope I can be as fortunate as the people on your list.

 

Just to let you know, she is doing a grass is greener thing. I've been broken up with my girl for 5 months now and it's pretty much the same thing sept she "fell out of love" plus a plethora of other reasons that all came together to equal the demise of my relationship.

 

In the time apart she has reached out a few times and has sometimes been VERY desperate. Not to get back together but not wanting to lose me out of her life. The grass is greener syndrom is not real but the concept is. Your girl and mine and many many others think they can find better or be happier without you. It is VERY possible they can be but if the relationship was decent it's gonna be very hard to top it.

 

The grass is not greener in most cases but in a lot of ways it's just a different shade of green and in even more ways the grass is dead all together. People today give up way to easily for no reason at all and it's just so messed up.

 

It takes years of different relationships to realize all this and people see all this amazing fake stuff on media and think relationships are like that. They throw away all the good they had because they became bored and want the excitement again and imagine they can do better than you.

 

Don't want to get your hopes up but if she really left you to be single she will most likely be back... AFTER you don't care anymore lol isn't that funny?

 

When they do come back to the good thing they had they usually do it at the WORST possible time.

 

Reason I said all of that stuff is I want to share something with people on here that has been true time and time again.

 

Sit and think... What caused you to break up? What were the main reasons? Too clingy? Too needy? To many fights? Not paying enough attention? Etc. once you figure out what you did wrong you can see were your partner went wrong. They are NOT perfect and for sure had a hand in the demise to the relationship too.

 

If you separated because of abuse then throw any reconciliations you might want out the window. That's a bad relationship and should never be considered going back too. Now if it ended because you were not as confident as you used to be then reverse those traits. Learn from the break up and grow from it. Become who you used to be but better. Don't do it as a way to get them back but it for sure increases the chances they WILL come back.

 

Reconciliations happen every single day all the time and in the craziest ways possible, as you can see after reading this thread. You can't make someone come back but you CAN increase your chances. Even if they fall out of love it's only a loss of attraction. Any begging and desperate behavior is a turn off and will never get them back.

 

You hear it every single day on these threads but the only way to get them back is to let them go and get you back. Hold the hope it's possible to get back together if you please but don't sit and wait for them. Better is out there if they don't come back but if they do you want it to work out the next time around correct? So instead of sulking and hurting try and figure out what went wrong and fix it. Don't try and show them you changed but really change. If they ever reach out be friendly but never beg for them back.

 

ALL reconciliations happen in this way. Begging may result in a delayed break up but that's all it will bring. Learn to not need the person and they may possibly come back. Read as many stories as you can. Every single one moved on, became better in so many ways and learned a lot from the break ups.

 

I know why my ex left me and I believe I have changed in a very positive way. If she comes back and sees the new me great, if not, then my next relationship will be stronger because of it.

 

Just wanted to repeat what has been said time and time again. If you want to be one of these stories in here... Do what is best and better yourself and try and move on. Hard as it may be lol.

[Mmmc228]

Another story...

 

Second girl in my sorority. Dated a guy for a little less than a year and he broke up with her. They spent four months apart and she said it was very difficult because they have the same circle of friends. She would be nice to him but not initiate contact outside the group. Well he ended up asking for her back and they've been together ever since!!

[SmileyFace123]

I want to share this "success" story:

 

I was talking to a mentor R, he's in his 70s so plenty of life experience.

 

Back when R was in his twenties he had a close friend A. A was married to his high school sweetheart S. In total they had probably been together about 8 years, married for about 2. I think they were in their early/mid twenties.

 

Well a lot of drama went down and A and S had to move in with A's parents which put a major strain on their marriage. S' father was diagnosed w/ cancer at this time and all in all too much added up, fights cropped up, and S became unhappy and told A she was wanted a divorce.

 

A was devestated. For months he laid in bed crying all day, not sure what to do with himself (sound familiar). Well my friend R found out what a rough time his friend was going through and decided A needed to get his life back on track.

[SmileyFace123]

I want to share this "success" story:

 

I was talking to a mentor R, he's in his 70s so plenty of life experience.

 

Back when R was in his twenties he had a close friend A. A was married to his high school sweetheart S. In total they had probably been together about 8 years, married for about 2. I think they were in their early/mid twenties.

 

Well a lot of drama went down and A and S had to move in with A's parents which put a major strain on their marriage. S' father was diagnosed w/ cancer at this time and all in all too much added up, fights cropped up, and S became unhappy and told A she was wanted a divorce.

 

A was devestated. For months he laid in bed crying all day, not sure what to do with himself (sound familiar). Well my friend R found out what a rough time his friend was going through and decided A needed to get his life back on track.

 

So R who was currently a Phd student talked to some of his professors and one saw a lot of potential in A. He offered A a fellowship to study at the univeristy.

 

R hoped that if A went and got his life on track, S would see how well he was doing and want him back. Well S never did come back. But A eventually got a Phd and then invented one of the most advanced and well known medical tools, becoming one of the most famous engineers of all time. He later found a new wife and had a happy family.

 

I like this story, bc crying in bed all day well we all been there, at least on the inside. But that ultimately it all worked out for this guy for the better

[SmileyFace123]

"DH and I dated when I was a sophmore in college and he was starting grad school. I was young and pretty immature. DH was a very traditional guy with very old school values that didn’t jive with who I was back then. I knew in my heart he was the kind of guy I’d want to marry, but I just couldn’t handle that level of committment just then. After only 3ish months I broke up with him. We didn’t talk for a while, then kept in touch via email. I dated other people and he got into a serious but dysfunctional relationship. We both had hoped that we’d get a second chance someday, but never thought it would actually happen. I knew almost immediately that I had made a mistake, but was stubborn and then it was too late to go back. He really gave his relationship his all, and I tried to as well. It was a little over 5 years that I finally convinced him to see me again. He and his gf were on the outs and I was single. We were very platonic, but I just knew we’d end up back together. Now we are married with a baby on the way.

 

I think my story is uncommon though. Age had a lot to do with us parting ways and neither of us left the relationship with the idea we’d get back together later. It just kind of worked out that way. I suppose it could have easily not worked out for us. I wouldn’t split up with the hope or idea that you’ll get back together. I think you’ll be setting yourself up for disappointment. There is always a chance you’ll split up and he’ll change his mind, but it sounds like if he was really in the relationship, he’d be more willing to work on it now, rather than give up"

 

"DH and I were together 2 1/2 years when we broke up. We just realized we wanted different things. Me – marriage and kids, him – not so sure. He is divorced (no kids) and 11 years older than me. We broke up because it didn’t make sense to continue. It was really sad, but had to happen. We lived together, so I moved out, stayed with my parents awhile then got my own place. I dated a bit too.

 

We got together about 4 months later. So not a long time, but not exactly short either. We were in contact during that time.

 

The space took all of the pressure off of him. He was able to realize that he wanted to be with me (and have kids) and not just because I wanted it.

 

We would not be together today…or confident in our relationship, if we hadn’t broken up.

 

When the time is longer that means really letting go and then somehow naturally coming back together. For it to work, you would really have to try to move on"

 

 

 

"Mr. T and I met when we were 16 while roleplaying in a yahoo chat room. We met in person when we were 18 and stayed together until we were 21-22. We moved on with our lives and never looked back. Then last year when we were 26 we found each other again…on the internet and we are much better prepared for a relationship than we were when we were teens. I think we have lot more in common than we did when we were younger and obviously we are more mature. We can talk about our feelings and frustrations with one another instead of holding it in and writing it in a diary and never discussing it."

 

"Well me and my so broke up because of him. We were apart for 2 months with no contact what so ever. After the 2nd month i realized i could not be without him. so we got back together and honestly we needed that break to realize how much we really want eachother and want to make it work"

 

"My FI and I had been dating for about 3 years when we broke up (We were sophomores in college). It was an awful, dramatic break-up full of heart break. I was clinically depressed for a while. We broke up March 2009 and eventually got back together in December 2009. It obviously didn’t happen overnight. We started trying to work things out in October and within a couple months we were ready to be together again, but it took A LOT of work. He proposed on July 4, 2010 and I can say there was a point in time where I NEVER thought I would ever talk to him again, much less marry him. It was a painful experience, but it really helped us sort out our problems, both personal and within the relationship. Our relationship now is completely different than it was 2 years ago and I’m so thankful for that!"

 

"Yes, it can happen and it can work. I met a woman at my last job whom I still stay in contact with who is remarried to her ex. I don't realy know the full story of why they broke up. Their son was about a year old at the time. They got divorced and then a couple years later, they got remarried. They have now been married longer than the first time and everything is going well. I think for some people, it just takes a little time apart to realize what you have. If both you and your ex are willing to work things out together, it can work."

 

 

 

"My DH and I dated 10 yrs ago right after his divorce. The timing was awful and at that point our age difference was too much. I was 21 without any children, never been married and he was 34 with 2 kids and just went through the end of his 10 yr marriage. We lasted 5 months before we broke up.

 

We stayed friends and 5 years later we got back together and we were married within a couple of months. We've now been married 5 yrs and have 2 of our own children.

 

I also have a friend who remarried her ex husband, but that was after rehab and 2 yrs of sobriety."

 

"My parents divorced 33 years ago after 4 children. I am 33 years old and my parents reunited last year and are back together. My Father was never part of my life so it is really weird but he had problems with drugs and alcohol and had re married after the divorce. His wife unfortunately passed away a few years ago and my mother was more or less a shoulder to cry on (via telephone since he lives in another state) and they just hit it off. My mother never even dated another man after my father and they are very happy now. They are in their 60's and I really think they will be together til the end. He sold his house and now lives with my mother and handicapped brother."

 

"My boyfriend and I split up for two months, and now we're happily back together. We have another pair of friends that have done the same (they've been together longer than us). My sister knows of other couples like these too.

 

It's a HELL of a lot of work, but if both parties are willing to put in the effort, it's doable. Not easy though."

 

My wife and I fell in love when we were in our early twenties, broke up because we knew we were too young to commit and marry, got back together* and are now happily married with two kids.

 

*We ran into each other randomly at Jazzfest in New Orleans, and decided it was fate. What would have happened if not for that, I can't say.

posted by poppo at 4:45 AM on October 10, 2007

 

 

That was: Three years together, two years apart, and now about five years together

 

My wife and I dated for a year or so when we were in our early 20s. We went our separate ways for 5 years and now we are coming up on our 4 year anniversary and have a beautiful baby daughter together.

 

I think sometimes people just have some growing up to do. In my case I certainly wasn't ready to get married at 21. And if we had gotten married then almost certainly it would have been a fiasco.

 

My parent's divorced for just shy of a year when I was in seventh grade... They remarried each other and have lived happily ever after.

 

My partner and I dated for a few months after college. It ended poorly and we ended up in different states. A couple of years later, we reclaimed our friendship and decided to go camping. We've been together ever since (5+ years). I fully anticipate that we will also live happily ever after.

 

In my parents case it was a matter of realizing that, once you have built a life with someone, you love the person on a level that can't be found elsewhere. In me and my partner's case, the first time around was simply piss-poor timing.

 

ymmv

posted by wg at 6:11 AM on October 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

 

 

"Interesting thread.....I agree there are much fewer occurrences of reconciliation after a LDR breakup but they do happen, like in my case!

 

My guy had to leave to go back to his home country last November 2009 and thus began our LDR. We were literally halfway accross the world from each other. I had never been in a LDR of this magnitude before so it was hard on both of us. To summarize, I ended up breaking up with him in February and soon regretted my decision. In that time spent apart from him, I was literally the most depressed, miserable person any one could possibly meet. I felt horrible for hurting someone I loved but was too scared to contact him for some time because I was worried that he had met someone else and moved on with his life.

The pain came to a peak and swallowed my fears and contacted him.

 

Best decision of my life. He easily forgave me because he still loved me and we've been even happier than we were before because we are even more grateful to have each other.

 

It's been 13 months of LDR. I will see him in person in February!!! I'm also shopping for an engagement ring for him (in his home country men also get engagement rings)

But the bottom line is I've never been happier and I've certain that this man is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. Oddly enough, breaking up has made our relationship even stronger. I'm just so grateful that he's such a compassionate loving person to so easily forgive me after the terrible mistake I made."

 

"

Mine is also a success... well sort of....

 

My ex and I were in an LDR for 4 years. I'm away at college in another country, our relationship started 2 months before I left for college. We only get to see each other once a year and only for 2-3 weeks. We love each other so much and we knew LDR was going to be hard and we realized that it was going to be 5 years before we can have a local relationship. And as expected, the 1st 2 years were hard, I was miserable from missing him so much, but we kept going. Around the 3rd & 4th year of our relationship, we got in many arguments... One day he broke up with me over the phone. But it was a little weird because he already had a plane ticket to come visit me a month later (it was booked 5 months earlier). During the break up, he still maintained contact although less frequent. A month later, he was here and I didn't know what to expect. The moment I saw him again, it was as if we never broke up. He treated me the same way he has always treated me. I can tell from the way he looked at me and his smile that he's still in love with me. One night after we came back from a date, we were talking and he asked me if I wanted to resume our relationship. I said no. ^_^ A month later though, I changed my answer to yes over the phone and we resumed our relationship. We dated for 2 more months and we were talking about getting married next year... And somehow it scared me.... I love him, always have, but I was afraid I might be making a mistake. I told him this, and then we broke up again. I thought I deserved better, I was so arrogant. After stepping away from the relationship, I spent lots of time thinking, analyzing our relationship. Then I realized that he was good enough for me. He's patient, kind, slow to anger.

 

Now I'm hoping for us to get back together. We had NC for around 2 weeks, but now we keep in touch everyday. I'm hoping for a proposal actually, not just to get back together. I'll be graduating and going home soon.. so I'm keeping my fingers crossed... "

 

"This happened to me aswell, how weird in a good way of course, I'm in a long distance relationship with my GF, for just about 5 years now, and currently in the UK, first 2 years was really hard for me, as I she was pregnant when I left, it was the hardest decision that I have to do, especially when I wasnt there when my daughter came out

, anyway, getting back together in a LDR relationship do actually happen.. just last year, me and my gf went through something that was unexpected, we had a bit of misunderstanding and fell out, and I thought that she was cheating on me, but in the end she wasnt, but me being impulsive as I am, I took it wrong, and thought if she's gonna cheat on me anyway, I might cheat aswell, and sadly enough, I ended up cheating with some (local)girl that I met in college, which came a bit of a shock on her side, because , she didnt expect me to do that to her, especially just after a week that we fell out, and she cried and cried asking me to get back, and I pushed her away, I was blinded by my infatuation for this new girl, but what I admire about her, is that she waited for me and told she'd wait as long as she can, even though I told her that there's no chance that were not gonna get back together. after just a couple of weeks, of being with this new girl, I felt bad, and unhappy, and realised what I did was wrong, and you know the saying that "You never knew what you had, until its gone" that hit me all of sudden, after just 2 months of going out with this girl, I decided to end it, and I would just end up hurting this (local)girl, even more the longer that we stay together, having two girls cry wanting you at the same time, might be one of a "guys dreams" but it wasnt, I was torn at first because of the distance, but I have to make a deciesion, which is the best desicion that I've made. I'm now happy that I went back with my orginal GF even though we're still in an LDR right now, but am planning to move back to my home country next year and get married with her and settle down."

 

"But I would like to post one happy ending of a lady who married to her ex after 10 years of time apart. This lady went to Germany to work as a nurse and then got a PhD where she met her American boyfriend. She wanted to get married but he didn't. He wanted to stay single, living the life of a scholar. He eventually came back to his country to work as a professor. And she became a diplomat of her home country later. They exchanged only a couple of times a year, Christmas cards, sharing what major changes happened in their lives. Out of the blue, one day the man from the US flew to Germany to visit her. They reconnected and got married soon. They met 15 years ago for the first time, being apart more than a decade, and reunited again."

[Onderoo]

Just to let you know, she is doing a grass is greener thing. I've been broken up with my girl for 5 months now and it's pretty much the same thing sept she "fell out of love" plus a plethora of other reasons that all came together to equal the demise of my relationship.

 

In the time apart she has reached out a few times and has sometimes been VERY desperate. Not to get back together but not wanting to lose me out of her life. The grass is greener syndrom is not real but the concept is. Your girl and mine and many many others think they can find better or be happier without you. It is VERY possible they can be but if the relationship was decent it's gonna be very hard to top it.

 

The grass is not greener in most cases but in a lot of ways it's just a different shade of green and in even more ways the grass is dead all together. People today give up way to easily for no reason at all and it's just so messed up.

 

It takes years of different relationships to realize all this and people see all this amazing fake stuff on media and think relationships are like that. They throw away all the good they had because they became bored and want the excitement again and imagine they can do better than you.

 

Don't want to get your hopes up but if she really left you to be single she will most likely be back... AFTER you don't care anymore lol isn't that funny?

 

When they do come back to the good thing they had they usually do it at the WORST possible time.

 

Reason I said all of that stuff is I want to share something with people on here that has been true time and time again.

 

Sit and think... What caused you to break up? What were the main reasons? Too clingy? Too needy? To many fights? Not paying enough attention? Etc. once you figure out what you did wrong you can see were your partner went wrong. They are NOT perfect and for sure had a hand in the demise to the relationship too.

 

If you separated because of abuse then throw any reconciliations you might want out the window. That's a bad relationship and should never be considered going back too. Now if it ended because you were not as confident as you used to be then reverse those traits. Learn from the break up and grow from it. Become who you used to be but better. Don't do it as a way to get them back but it for sure increases the chances they WILL come back.

 

Reconciliations happen every single day all the time and in the craziest ways possible, as you can see after reading this thread. You can't make someone come back but you CAN increase your chances. Even if they fall out of love it's only a loss of attraction. Any begging and desperate behavior is a turn off and will never get them back.

 

You hear it every single day on these threads but the only way to get them back is to let them go and get you back. Hold the hope it's possible to get back together if you please but don't sit and wait for them. Better is out there if they don't come back but if they do you want it to work out the next time around correct? So instead of sulking and hurting try and figure out what went wrong and fix it. Don't try and show them you changed but really change. If they ever reach out be friendly but never beg for them back.

 

ALL reconciliations happen in this way. Begging may result in a delayed break up but that's all it will bring. Learn to not need the person and they may possibly come back. Read as many stories as you can. Every single one moved on, became better in so many ways and learned a lot from the break ups.

 

I know why my ex left me and I believe I have changed in a very positive way. If she comes back and sees the new me great, if not, then my next relationship will be stronger because of it.

 

Just wanted to repeat what has been said time and time again. If you want to be one of these stories in here... Do what is best and better yourself and try and move on. Hard as it may be lol.

 

Sorry to break it to you, but this is how attractive girls are between the ages of 18-23. A girl in this age group is young, fertile and has the world in the palm of her hands. Add to this, access to social media apps like Tinder, Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook and you have yourself a lethal cocktail with the types of symptoms that you've expressed in your comment. They're constantly getting attention/validation with a new 'alpha' guy being a simple 'right swipe' away.

 

You may have an easier time with the older crowd due to them being older, disillusioned, increased competition with the younger crop and less options with a ticking biological clock. Understanding this, you may wish to not bother altogether and just continue playing the field and not commit like most clued up guys end up doing.

 

Things aren't like how they used to be with our parents/grandparents. Times have changed unfortunately and can only educate yourself of the red flags to help you make smart decisions moving forward.

[SmileyFace123]

Sorry to break it to you, but this is how attractive girls are between the ages of 18-23. A girl in this age group is young, fertile and has the world in the palm of her hands. Add to this, access to social media apps like Tinder, Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook and you have yourself a lethal cocktail with the types of symptoms that you've expressed in your comment. They're constantly getting attention/validation with a new 'alpha' guy being a simple 'right swipe' away.

 

You may have an easier time with the older crowd due to them being older, disillusioned, increased competition with the younger crop and less options with a ticking biological clock. Understanding this, you may wish to not bother altogether and just continue playing the field and not commit like most clued up guys end up doing.

 

Things aren't like how they used to be with our parents/grandparents. Times have changed unfortunately and can only educate yourself of the red flags to help you make smart decisions moving forward.

 

Please don't make generalizations. I, and most of my friends, are attractive girls in this age bracket. Not one of is that shallow. Most are extremely loyal to their partners and if they chose to leave did not do so bc they wanted to swipe on tinder. I understand your point that a young, attractive woman seems to have the world at her finger tips, but that's not always the case and I can say that with experience. just because you have plenty of "suitors" does not mean any are suitable. Having options does not mean that you aren't loyal or want to play the field. In fact what I've notcied, is that girls who want to go play the field aka GIGS, it's because they aren't feeling like they are getting enough love and attention from their current boyfriend. So if they feel they can't get it from their current partner, they know they can get it from the millions of others guys out there who will happily give them attention, at least in the short time frame.

 

Another ex coming back story. My friend was dating this girl over the spring. He was totally head over heals over her, but she wasn't into it. So she ended it with him. He was devestated but a few months later met a wonderful girl, who he is madly in love with now. Well just out of the blue the ex has been calling him with random excuses to talk and hang out. They've had no contact and don't have mutual friends or see each other around. But he has no interest he has completely moved on and is so happy with his current gf.

 

It's almost mystic, I keep seeing it over and over again, once the dumpee moves on, the dumper comes back.

[DJ12]

Fantastic post and it made my day thank you very much!

[leahhh1018]

I was the Maid of Honor in a wedding on October 1st. The bride and groom broke up probably at least five times in the past! I'd be surprised if they ever got a divorce.

 

In June, I'll be a bridesmaid in another wedding. This friend and her fiancé were together and living together for maybe a year or a bit less and then broke up (kind of a nasty breakup). They got back together about a year ago and now have a kid! They're both really happy.

 

It does happen. Jury's out on whether or not I want that for myself. I would have said for sure up until probably today. Part of me thinks he will come back after enough time of NC. Not *counting* on it, it's just a gut feeling. But honestly I'm not sure I would take him back now.

[Bombshell007]

Hi i am new here! Been reading this for two weeks since the BU. I can definately say this thread and all of you have made my recovery soooo fast i am actually scared in a way..

 

Anyway i have a story for u:

 

Had this guy friend who tried to make me fall for him for some time and when i actually did, HARD, he pretty much told me to go away . Wow. The pain!! Was crazy. So i got back together with the guy i dated before this 'friend' , mind u it was 3-4 years ago.. so guess what, after approx 6 months of nc from my side , oh i did all the crying and proclaiming my love to the friend after he disposed of me .. after 6-7 months he started talking to me again and .. wait for this.. up to THIS day he says he cant be with anybody else but me, he even doesnt care if i date other guys as long as i am married to HIM!!! He told me i can do anything i want just marry him please. Only recently hes been having a monolgue with himself sending me love stuff for 4 months without me ever replying. And this is a player in the past. Whos seen and done it all. So it happens u guys.. but i dont think he can do anything to get me back. Reason? The shock of what he has done left me shaken up i dont and will not and cant trust him again. So now i just sit back and enjoy what he is going through. He even asked me if i enjoy it. I said-yes. O btw he explained his behaviour that time. He said he so wanted me, and when he got me he got scared. Whavss!! Meanwhile i am dying from a heart break from another man.

[magpul]

Just want to share something that is happening with me as of this moment.

 

I met the most amazing girl a little over a year ago (M). Unfortunately, it was at the wrong time. I had a gf at the time, and it was a relationship that I should not have been in. I began that relationship with my ex because I was tired of being alone. I was 27, moved to a new state by myself and had to move in with my parents, didn't know anyone, and had never been in a relationship before. I struggled with self-esteem and self-confidence issues for all of my teens and the majority of 20s due to some past circumstances, so I just never had the confidence in myself to pursue a relationship. It was wrong of me to get involved with my ex as it was done for wrong reasons, and believe me, I definitely learned my lessons from it as the majority of 2016 has been an incredibly rough ride. And I know I deserve it, what I did was wrong, and I wish more than anything that I would have never put myself in that position.

 

Anyway this girl was exactly my type. Humble, a little shy, great personality, and very beautiful. We connected almost instantly, and within the 4th or 5th time of seeing each other it was clear that we felt the same about each other, which in itself was completely new to me. I have never had an interaction with a girl who felt the same for me as I did her. But of course the weight of my decision to continue seeing her while I had a girlfriend weighed too heavy on me, and I explained that I was with someone to her. She, understandably, was furious and cut off all contact with me. I ended up telling my gf about her, and after that it was over between us. Towards the beginning of the year I attempted to reach out to M, texted, called, sent flowers to her work. In hindsight I should have just sent a text or called once and left it at that, but through my attempts to get her back, I ended up pushing her further away. She told me she wanted nothing to do with me, and that was that. Hearing that cared about you at one point that you still have feelings for say that to you is soul crushing.

 

So I left her alone. I realized that I had things I needed to address and work on in my own life, and the thought of her ever coming back into my life after what happened and what she said to me seemed impossible. The only thing I could do was move on, focus on myself and become a better person. I've dated quite a few girls since this happened. None of it panned out though. M was the one who was always on my mind. I don't have too many issues attracting girls, but when you have talked to dozens of them and have had many dates and there is still only one that you think about, it came become very disheartening. Like you don't even want to mess with it anymore to save yourself and others the time.

 

A month ago I sent M a friend request on FB. After I did this, she messaged me asking me why I wouldn't leave her alone. I tried to explain everything to her, told her I was aware and deeply sorry for the mistakes that I made. Told her that she is the only one that I want, and I would do anything for her. I pretty much laid out all of my feelings to her, despite knowing that there was a very good possibility she was going to turn me down. I asked if she would like to meet up, granted, we are about 1500 miles apart now (she moved states after breaking up with her ex that she met after me). She said she would think about it. The next day she told me she didn't think it was a good idea. I said ok, thanked her for considering seeing me, and said take care. I thought that was it. At this point I had let her go, and never intended to try to contact her in anyway again.

 

Four days ago she messaged me on Facebook, asking me how Colorado was (I went out there last month and intended to go see her once I left). We talked for a short time, and then I asked for her Snapchat. Since then we have been talking and now she is considering seeing me again. It has been a full year since we have last seen eachother, or talked to each other in this kind of capacity. While I am as of this moment unsure of what her decision is going to be, things are look more promising now than they ever have before. I never thought I would have any kind of interaction like this with her again and had moved on passed the thoughts of that possibility ever happening, but here I am. I am not letting her decision affect me like it has in the past, as I know that I will be fine either way, but man it'd sure be great if things work out!

 

Just thought I'd share a little of my story, take care everyone.

[AisforBroken]

More stories would be awesome. I hate that I'm at the end of the thread now.

[MUrmillo]

Just want to share something that is happening with me as of this moment.

 

I met the most amazing girl a little over a year ago (M). Unfortunately, it was at the wrong time. I had a gf at the time, and it was a relationship that I should not have been in. I began that relationship with my ex because I was tired of being alone. I was 27, moved to a new state by myself and had to move in with my parents, didn't know anyone, and had never been in a relationship before. I struggled with self-esteem and self-confidence issues for all of my teens and the majority of 20s due to some past circumstances, so I just never had the confidence in myself to pursue a relationship. It was wrong of me to get involved with my ex as it was done for wrong reasons, and believe me, I definitely learned my lessons from it as the majority of 2016 has been an incredibly rough ride. And I know I deserve it, what I did was wrong, and I wish more than anything that I would have never put myself in that position.

 

Anyway this girl was exactly my type. Humble, a little shy, great personality, and very beautiful. We connected almost instantly, and within the 4th or 5th time of seeing each other it was clear that we felt the same about each other, which in itself was completely new to me. I have never had an interaction with a girl who felt the same for me as I did her. But of course the weight of my decision to continue seeing her while I had a girlfriend weighed too heavy on me, and I explained that I was with someone to her. She, understandably, was furious and cut off all contact with me. I ended up telling my gf about her, and after that it was over between us. Towards the beginning of the year I attempted to reach out to M, texted, called, sent flowers to her work. In hindsight I should have just sent a text or called once and left it at that, but through my attempts to get her back, I ended up pushing her further away. She told me she wanted nothing to do with me, and that was that. Hearing that cared about you at one point that you still have feelings for say that to you is soul crushing.

 

So I left her alone. I realized that I had things I needed to address and work on in my own life, and the thought of her ever coming back into my life after what happened and what she said to me seemed impossible. The only thing I could do was move on, focus on myself and become a better person. I've dated quite a few girls since this happened. None of it panned out though. M was the one who was always on my mind. I don't have too many issues attracting girls, but when you have talked to dozens of them and have had many dates and there is still only one that you think about, it came become very disheartening. Like you don't even want to mess with it anymore to save yourself and others the time.

 

A month ago I sent M a friend request on FB. After I did this, she messaged me asking me why I wouldn't leave her alone. I tried to explain everything to her, told her I was aware and deeply sorry for the mistakes that I made. Told her that she is the only one that I want, and I would do anything for her. I pretty much laid out all of my feelings to her, despite knowing that there was a very good possibility she was going to turn me down. I asked if she would like to meet up, granted, we are about 1500 miles apart now (she moved states after breaking up with her ex that she met after me). She said she would think about it. The next day she told me she didn't think it was a good idea. I said ok, thanked her for considering seeing me, and said take care. I thought that was it. At this point I had let her go, and never intended to try to contact her in anyway again.

 

Four days ago she messaged me on Facebook, asking me how Colorado was (I went out there last month and intended to go see her once I left). We talked for a short time, and then I asked for her Snapchat. Since then we have been talking and now she is considering seeing me again. It has been a full year since we have last seen eachother, or talked to each other in this kind of capacity. While I am as of this moment unsure of what her decision is going to be, things are look more promising now than they ever have before. I never thought I would have any kind of interaction like this with her again and had moved on passed the thoughts of that possibility ever happening, but here I am. I am not letting her decision affect me like it has in the past, as I know that I will be fine either way, but man it'd sure be great if things work out!

 

Just thought I'd share a little of my story, take care everyone.

 

Wow your situation is very similar to mine... Only I haven´t done the confession yet and I am very much on the fence of doing it.

 

Sorry for offtopic!

[ashley b]

Bump. Any more stories?

[johnnystern]

Well I dont have a reconciliation story. But I really want a reconciliation. I figured it would be okay to post here to be noticed and also because some of the success stories in this thread have some commonalities with my situation...

 

Several months ago, I was dating this girl. I really started falling for her. I've dated plenty of girls and felt no real connection with many of them. She was different and there something intangible about her. (Which is why I hate when people say "move on move on move on." Thankfully, I feel I'm on a forum where I won't hear much of that because I think a lot of people here are like-minded people.)

 

Over the course of months, me and her became close with eachother. She acknowledged our closeness on a couple different occasions. (So I knew at the time, the feeling was mutual.) We were never official. Our relationship with eachother went in tailspin and she essentially dumped me. I know of her past boyfriends and know that they were real alpha-type guys and looking back, I see I was just being too weak, needy, and not masculine enough. It's not me wanting to change who I am to appease her, I just realize now that I acted too weak and not masculine enough. Which I've since learned is a recipe for failure when dating (most) women. There's a reason she likes masculine, confident, alpha guys. So she blew me off basically. I was acting too weak, jealous, and needy at that particular time (I believe so.) I wasn't acting like a guy who was in-demand with other women. I let my neediness and scarcity hone in on her and she knew it. She knew she had me wrapped around her finger. When I acted weak and needy through text yet again, I my anxiety-stricken behavior at that moment caused me to be forceful with her because I wanted to get together with her and talk about it. But I said it in a demanding, forceful way. And she said "Yes we're close but don't say ______, that will just push me away more if anything."

 

I've since learned about how my needy behavior turned her off and I decided to leave her alone until when/if she reaches out to me again. (Which then she will get to see the NEW me.) I left her alone, and it's now been 4-5 months of No Contact between us. I know, it doesn't feel encouraging to me at the moment. She's still kept me as a friend on Facebook/Instagram, if that means anything. I know when guys in her life would screw her over in the past, she would delete them from her life, including social media. I've done nothing to screw her over, so she hasn't deleted me. Again, not sure if it's a positive sign or if I'm just grasping at straws.

 

Her birthday was in September and it was a tough decision for me to reach out to her and say happy birthday as a way to reopen the lines of communication, or to let her be (because she's ultimately the one who walked away from me.) I decided to save my dignity and not reach out on her birthday. Now, my birthday is in a couple of weeks and I'm wondering if she's going to send me a happy birthday text or say happy birthday to me on Facebook. She can be stubborn so I'm wondering if she has wanted to reach out to me, but never had it in her to do so. Obviously, my birthday would be a perfect excuse for her to reach out to me. I want to see her again so bad (and obviously modify my behavior this time) and I know it's risky, but I'm really hoping to hear from her on my birthday. Obviously the risk is high considering we haven't talked in months, I didn't reach out to her on her birthday, etc. I know I should carry on with my life in the mean-time and if she comes back, then great. But I can't stop these flood of thoughts I have of her everyday. And deep down I refuse to give up hope. If she doesn't reach out on my birthday it's going to make me feel more hopeless, not gonna lie.

 

Those are my honest feelings. I watch youtube videos and read threads like this to give me hope that she'll come back.. Thoughts?

[Wolfshook]

Umm,people, this is thread where you're supposed to write some successfull getting back together stories. Not your break up stories