AisforBroken

You probably would be better off starting your own thread, but for what it's worth... what's 2 months? It's nothing. Go hike then see how you feel. Don't put your plans on the back burner.

Well, I'm at the end of this thread for the second time. I just really like reading these stories. Plus, it's really great to gauge where I'm at emotionally. The first time I read through, I was only 2-3 months out from my breakup, and I can FEEL the emotions I was having reading through these -- almost like I CRAVED the stories, I NEEDED them... I was so desperate for hope. Now, almost 8 months out, I'm reading them again, and don't have those feelings at all... I just really enjoy the stories, but the desperate need for hope isn't there anymore... It's nice to see how far I've come actually. I may come back in a couple months and re-read to see where I'm at. Thanks everyone for the stories. I finally got to talking to my parents (mom and step dad) about their relationship... They had been together for a few years, bought a house together and everything, then broke up because my mom found out he was chatting with his ex and wanted nothing to do with it. My mom moved out and thought it was over for good. This lasted about 6 months. They got back together, got married a couple years later, and then divorced about 4 years into the marriage (due to my step dad cheating with his ex)... they were apart for 2 and a half years - both definitely thought it was over for good, I'd assume. But one Christmas, I went to visit him and he told me to ask my mom if she wanted to come, because she was alone. A few months later, we moved into his house and they ended up remarrying some time later (a year or so, maybe?). They've now been remarried for about 13 years and I don't see anything changing. They're in it till the end.... Although I know they love each other, they don't really seem very "IN LOVE" in my opinion. My mom doesn't seem very happy with him a lot of the time and is very critical of him, but they just work in a weird way, I guess. They seem much more like friends than lovers. (is this what marriage does to people?) While they were divorced, my mom dated a few guys for a while - I remember them all - then she got pregnant (oops!), and had my little brother and we lived with his dad for a while, but that didn't work out (he was really immature, quite a bit younger than her, they didn't get along very well... it was doomed from the start). I'm not sure what my step dad was doing during the off time, but he would take me to dinner and pick me up after school sometimes. I know he was on anti-depressants and he always seemed really sad. I never saw him with any other women. My mom actually went a little crazy during their first breakup too... she ran off and MARRIED a guy from her past immediately, like within a month, and got his name tattooed on her... the marriage obviously didn't last, was a mistake, and is now annulled, but the tattoo remains. She's had a few laser treatments on it too... Must have been a serious heartbreak... crazy woman... but I feel for her. The tattoo is a constant reminder to my step dad though ha! I told this story with fewer details a while back, but I totally forgot they had a breakup before they got married.

I just want to chime in and say that I'm reading this thread over again now... almost 6 months post break up... feeling much more apathetic to reconciling with my ex... and it's a bit surreal. 3-4 months ago, when I was reading these stories for the first time, I was in such a dark, low, terrible, desperate place. I can still feel the pain I was feeling at the time as I read through all of these stories again, and it's made me realize how far I've come since then. I just want everyone that's reading this thread right now, and feels hopeless, and thinks that your world is closing in on you, and that you'll never come out on the other side, and that you don't know what you'll do without this person, that life feels incomplete without them, that you 'know' he/she is the one for you -- I want you to know that I was in your shoes, not too long ago... and it DOES get better, life DOES start again, you just have to want it for yourself and that day will come for you when you're ready. I haven't gotten my ex back - I tried everything in the book... no contact, writing a letter, being his friend and being super positive and happy, I even sent him a video telling him everything I've learned and how much I've changed... None of it worked. But it worked for me because I needed to exhaust all of my options before I could make the decision to give up... I finally had the courage to let go, because there was nothing left to do, and it's the best thing I could have done for myself. I still miss him, but it's okay. I don't need him anymore. And if anything is going to bring him back, it's that, but it's also okay if it doesn't, and I didn't think in a MILLION YEARS I would ever be able to say that. I couldn't even imagine myself getting to this point 4 months ago... I didn't know what "it gets better" meant... but IT GETS BETTER.... I promise you'll get there too! I'd love to be able to post my story on here one day. It's helped me through some very dark days.

More stories would be awesome. I hate that I'm at the end of the thread now.

One more... my current ex's parents had a split in their marriage too. All I know is his dad was on a lot of pain medication when my ex was a child and his mom looked elsewhere because she probably wasn't feeling fulfilled and I guess he was a complete ass when he was on meds, and she ended up cheating on his dad, I think it was a full on affair. I heard it was really dramatic... like he might have even threatened to kill them or something... (and he's been in prison, he doesn't mess around haha) but they are back together now and happy and will definitely be together for the rest of their lives. They are WAY too comfortable with each other and set in their ways to split up and she is the epitome of a wife, does everything for him! Just shows that if you have that connection, even the worst circumstances can be turned around. That's why I'm sure it will be okay for me... no cheating, no huge blowouts, no serious dramatics... we just needed a step back to remember that we DO love each other, and maybe look elsewhere for a while to realize that there is nothing better out there. (I think we both were having a bit of GIGS, together since we were 18...) This has been the worst couple/ few months of my entire life, I've been severely depressed, but you'd never know it from the outside looking at me (and definitely not on social media haha!). The first month was literally absolute hell. I don't even know how I survived it, to be honest. I didn't know it was even possible to feel that low and be in such a dark place. And all that time, I was texting him... embarrassing myself... ahhh MISTAKE. That definitely set me back. NC has been THE best form of therapy so far. It DOES help, and it DOES get better every day, so I have hope it will continue to get better. Day 28 NC.... we'll see how much longer I can last ha

Finally finished reading this thread and I'm honestly extremely sad to be done. This has helped me through a lot of rough days at work. Anyway, I'm a little over 3 months out from my own breakup and these stories give me hope, not that I really NEED it, but it's nice to have some reassurance that getting back together DOES happen, quite often, if the love was real. I know in my heart he will come back around, someday. I'm just being as patient as possible and waiting for him to be ready... I'm so confident, because I know our love was absolutely real, but I still get the anxiety and un-sureness sometimes, which sucks, but I have to tell myself it's not true. This thread helps. I think I'll go back and read again if I need to. Anyway, I have a couple stories. The first one is my own. I'll give all the details I can. My current ex and I (the one who brought me here) met in August 2009, I had just moved to his city for college, met through a mutual friend, became really good friends and then and we fell madly in love very quickly, kind of by accident (I wasn't even attracted to him at first). Anyway, I got homesick after my first semester and was somewhat depressed because I was living with my aunt and she was suffocating me (10 oclock cerfew, no spending the night... my first semester of college... not ideal), so I decided to move back home. When I left, we were very much in love and I broke the news to him that I was unhappy and I was moving home. I kinda/sorta broke it off even though I didn't want to, only because I didn't know if we would ever be able to be together again, since we would be in different states. Plus, at this point we had only known each other for like 4 months. But we continued to talk and decided to do a LDR because our connection was just unreal (first "REAL" intense love, pure and innocent, blah blah). After a few months at home, we just got closer, he visited a couple times, and he asked me to move back there and in with him (at his parents house). I agreed, we were both extremely excited and anxious to have something to look forward to. So I moved back out in May 2010 and we were disgustingly happy for a very short while, but life got in the way QUICKLY... I couldn't find a job, and felt like I had no independence at his parents house, and not many friends apart from his, and I became really clingy and needy and jealous because he was basically my entire world and he broke the news to me one day that "he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore." This was October 2010, a little over a year after we first became official (including the time I moved home), and only 5 months after I had moved in with him. Needless to say, I was absolutely mortified that I had moved my life to be with him and he just "decided" after 5 months that he didn't want it anymore. I just accepted the breakup and moved my things out, back in with my aunt, while he was at work one day. I questioned him for a short while and cried to him when I went to pick up a couple missing things, but he wasn't having it. I finished my semester, with him in one of my classes, then moved home. I found a journal recently that I kept at the time and it was extreme pain. I lost about 15 lbs, cried on the subway nearly every day on the way to school, and was very depressed. I actually remember laying on the floor of my friend's condo one night, during a "get together" and listening to a sad song over and over and crying. But I also remember (and see in my writing) that a HUGE part of me KNEW we would be together again. I don't know how I was so sure, but I just knew. It just felt like we were "meant to be" even though I'm not sure I even believe in all that. Something was telling me it would be okay, but I couldn't listen to it (anxiety/ unsureness... you know) Anyway, we tried to meet up as friends once in the next couple months, but it was way too weird/ hard for me... so I stopped talking to him for about a month... fast forward to the day I was leaving to move back home. I texted him that I was leaving/ goodbye and he responded that he still loved me (GREAT timing). I focused on me when I got home, didn't really talk much for probably a month or 2 (I can't remember if I did active NC or LC - I didn't even know what that was at the time) but I know I was focusing on me, having a great time with all of my friends back home, and forgetting him. I didn't see the point talking to him because I was back home anyway and didn't see any way for us to be together. (I know it was incredibly difficult, but my friends kept me busy). In Feb/ March 2011, he reached out to me because he needed a friend. His parents were in a life threatening motorcycle accident and his best friend was having a psychotic break, so I was there for him. I was over him at this point, so I was okay being a friend to him. We started talking more and he found out I was coming back to his city to finish my degree and he PURSUED ME HARD. At this point, I was completely over him. I actually wanted to stay single to live the "college life" with my new roommates, but he was doing everything he could to prove to me he was worth it. Talking about a future, saying how much he regretted everything, how big of a mistake he made, etc. We slowly got back into a relationship-ish routine of talking on the phone and texting constantly and he came to visit and then we took a trip together in June, a month before I was set to move back and solidified that we would be back together. Well... we lasted for another 5+ years, until this last August (2016) when he gave me the same exact line, "I don't want to be in a relationship anymore." And you know what... it's because of the same EXACT problems that led to the first one. I had lived on my own for those 4 of those 5 years and about a year after I had moved back in with him (into his parent's house again), I lost my independence, and started to get needy and clingy and jealous and demanded way too much from him... made him my whole world and got mad when he didn't reciprocate. It's like de-ja ****ing vu. Anyway, I'm 3 months out and I'm going to be damn sure that if/when he comes back that will NEVER happen again. I have so much work to do, but I know our connection is far too deep and our love is way too real for him to just walk away forever and never look back. I know we'll be fine, EVENTUALLY, I just have to be fine first. Second story is my mom and step dad. I don't know all the gory details, but I remember going through it as a kid. My step dad and mom were married for probably 5-6 years when he cheated on her with his ex wife and she left him. I couldn't tell you how long they were apart but he was extremely depressed, even got on anti-depressants. I remember when he would come get me and take me to dinner, he would be listening to the saddest love songs in the car (I put your picture away by Kid Rock and Cheryl Crow was a favorite haha). I was only a kid at the time (10-11) so I didn't know everything that was going on, and I only saw him once a week, but my mom dated multiple other guys during the time they were apart (couldn't tell you how long, but more than a year). One of them got her pregnant, with my brother, and they moved in together and everything. He ended up being a total **** to me all the time, telling her she should take me out of private school and she eventually kicked him out. That Christmas I remember going to my step dad's the week before and he told me to call my mom and tell her she could come over (she was alone, dropped me off to see him). She came over, we moved back in a few months later, they got remarried and have been together for the last 12 years. They seem happy for the most part. Content... He definitely learned his lesson. Sorry this was so long, hopefully someone appreciates the details haha.

LOL. I wonder how this ceremony went.