Getting back together really does happen!

[kennyc90]

I also believe that reconciliation is always possible. It really does just take time, patience, and a willingness on one end to work things out again. I think that you have to be able to let go of your previous relationship with your ex in order to be able to be in the right mindset to start a new one with your ex. Instead of trying to jump back into things, you should try approaching your ex like a "friend"... somebody that you're just getting to know all over again And over time, if things work out hopefully, feelings will start to develop again!

I agree. Once you have contact with your ex again, instead of jumping the gun, you should take it slow and get to know each other again. Well, that's what usually happens anyways, after a long period of NC.

[kleinserenity]

Totally agree with what you say!

 

There's always hope. But sometimes, we need to be really careful : it's not about getting back together or not sometimes; it's about whether it's BENEFICIAL TO BOTH OF YOU to get back together.

 

And...BOTH need to be a "new self" in order to get back together......

 

for the freshness, and also.....old problems need to be resolved. --> That's why it takes long time, at least months for people to really change their mindsets & behavior/habits.

 

In my opinion, breakups can really change a lot about a person.

 

And I agree with a saying,

 

"Reconciliation is a gift (from heaven), just like the relationship as a gift. It's not something you can "work it out". It's a gift."

 

So let it be. What we can really work on is only "ourselves". Understand ourselves first before "asking our ex" to do something/be someone for us (e.g. reconciliation). Otherwise, we're only doing it for "ourselves", which is somehow selfish.

 

Take it easy and let it be. =)

 

Yup...date other people. Practise being with the other gender!

It can help us become more attractive and also...polish our interpersonal skills.=)

[kleinserenity]

I agree. Once you have contact with your ex again, instead of jumping the gun, you should take it slow and get to know each other again. Well, that's what usually happens anyways, after a long period of NC.

 

 

Agree! So I would agree with "NC for a period of time. And low contact when you feel "really ready" to talk"

 

And for initial contact, keep the talks light, relaxing and .....most importantly, pleasant & happy =)

 

Everybody wants to be with someone who's happy~

[kleinserenity]

I also believe that reconciliation is always possible. It really does just take time, patience, and a willingness on one end to work things out again. I think that you have to be able to let go of your previous relationship with your ex in order to be able to be in the right mindset to start a new one with your ex. Instead of trying to jump back into things, you should try approaching your ex like a "friend"... somebody that you're just getting to know all over again And over time, if things work out hopefully, feelings will start to develop again!

 

AGREE!

 

Don't jump.....

 

Keep initial contact light~

 

Until the time comes.....

[DigitalSpy]

Oh and if you've cheated or abused your ex, then nothing I said above applies to you. The reason why I say this is because from my experience, I have yet to see a reconciliation between the one's who have cheated and abused their ex's.

 

I actually know of 2 cases where friends of mine have gotten back together after a "cheating" indecent. One of which was my best friend, and he and his ex (she cheated on him) got back together eventually and have been together for 2 years again now. Also an old friend of the family her and her partner got back together after he had cheated on her, they are married and have 3 kids. Personally I think it depends on A) how good was the relationship before cheating B) How sincere the "cheater" is C) how strong the person is who was cheated on, can you forgive the cheater?

 

As for the abuse part, I totally agree with you. It would be silly to go back to some one who abused you, physically or mentally! Unless you had 100% proof they have changed...and some do. A friend of ours was an alcoholic and became a violent drunk (fill in the blanks) his wife stayed with him providing he got help with drinking. They spent a few months apart, to give him a chance to sort himself out and get help, which he has done and things are fine between them again and have been for around 4 years.

 

Great post kennyc90 ^^

[Destiny2112]

Agree! So I would agree with "NC for a period of time. And low contact when you feel "really ready" to talk"

 

And for initial contact, keep the talks light, relaxing and .....most importantly, pleasant & happy =)

 

Everybody wants to be with someone who's happy~

 

I guess, if the dumper is in a new relationship, it's better to wait for them to iniciate contact. I wouldn't want to interfere in their relationship... so I would rather wait for them to contact me and then decide if/ how to react to their attempt...

[kleinserenity]

I guess, if the dumper is in a new relationship, it's better to wait for them to iniciate contact. I wouldn't want to interfere in their relationship... so I would rather wait for them to contact me and then decide if/ how to react to their attempt...

 

Agree.....if the other person is already in a relationship, I think it's better not to disturb for a while.

It's a matter of respect.....

(i.e. I think nobody likes their bf/gf makes contact with their ex...

& you don't want to put our beloved ex in trouble..... it's a kind of love)

[cosmokohn55]

thats such hope for me.. I want my exboyfriend to come back to me.

[cosmokohn55]

Yup, but you'd think they'd have enough sense to understand the context.

 

Anyway, I've gotten back together with all of my exes in one way or another, and we always eventually split amicably. Never once did it end "forever on the spot."

 

A friend of mine broke up with his long-time girlfriend, and they were apart for about three years. Now they're married with two daughters.

 

that is such good advice

[Destiny2112]

Agree.....if the other person is already in a relationship, I think it's better not to disturb for a while.

It's a matter of respect.....

(i.e. I think nobody likes their bf/gf makes contact with their ex...

& you don't want to put our beloved ex in trouble..... it's a kind of love)

 

Yes, it definetely is a matter of respecting and accepting their decision and give them all the time and space they need and it's a way of "loving" them from afar. If we were in their shoes and in a new relationship, we wouldn't want our ex's to "bother" us all the time either... time will tell, what is going to happen. Probably, once we are fully healed, we wouldn't even take them back or at least wouldn't care anymore if they returned or not....

[CorpseGrinder]

When someone dumps me or I dump them I make it a rule never to get back with them. I did that once with my first girlfriend and I wont make that mistake again.

[faithful14]

heard another getting back together story last night :

 

They went out for about 5 years and they broke up. Not sure why they broke up. They didn't end things on a good note as there was a lot of anger and hurt on both sides. The guy rebounded a month later and got into a relationship with another girl for the next 8 months. She went into NC but she periodically would hear from him. It would be meaningless text messages or late night drunk calls. The guy broke up with his rebound and went back to her. She was still really angry with him. The guy poured his heart out to her in emails and letters. He wasn't a very open person to begin with, so to see him openly pour his heart out to her was really eye opening. Still she refused to talk to him. After some time had passed, she couldn't hold it in anymore. She realized she had missed him a lot and that she did want to be with him. She had never told him how she had felt after he had poured his heart out to her. She had just stayed silent and refused to speak to him. I guess it all got to her so she called him up to meet. they are now back together taking things slowly. I believe their separation period was about a year.

[kuteknish]

love when you post stories!

[krackie]

I have some stories too

 

1. A friend of mine (S), her bf for 3 years, left her because he started hanging out often with his ex crush from highschool. So he taught that he had a chance with the crush. So he decided to leave his gf. S was devastated. She couldn't accept it. Slowly, she did NC. She started dating other guy and partying just to get over her bf. After few months, the bf's crush left him for another guy. He was so upset. Then he started missing S. He started texting her, telling her how much he missed her and all. He realises that she's the one that he really loves. As for S, she was unsure about it because she's afraid that he'll do the same thing again. She still loves him a lot. So they both decided to take things slowly. As in just talk, text, IM and nothing serious. Day by day, they started getting closer. They started to feel comfortable with each other again. And so the guy as her if she could give him a second chance. She agrees and now they're together for almost 1 and half years. And they're happy!

 

2. A friend of mine, (J), was going out with her bf for 2 years. The problem in their relationship is, her bf is too obsess over his friends. Up to the point where, whenever J ask him out for a dinner or even date, he'll bring a friend along with him. Basically, his friends are more important than J. So J decided to call it off. After the break up, J was very sad but she knows she gotta do it. So became a workaholic just to forget about the pain. As for her bf, he started to realise what an *** he is. J went NC until her ex initiate contact. For about few months they were in LC. He'd call her out and they hang out but just as friends. At one point, the guy said that he would like to get her back. As for J, she knows that she still loves him. So she told him that if he really want things to work out between them, he needs to realise his mistakes and start all over again. (as in how he chase her before they were a couple). So he did exactly what he was suppose to do. And now, they are happily together for almost 2 years.

 

3. This one is not really a successful story. A friend of mine (H) was going out with his gf for 3 years. And then one day, she decided to leave him (normal excuse from girls, wanna see the world, think the grass is greener on the other side and not ready for commitment). He started NC on the day itself. He went to another state just so he won't be close to her.(they were studying in the same college). After 2 weeks, he has to get back to college. In college he saw her again and since they had a lot of things that requires both of them to do it together, he decided to be friends with her. It is very hard for him. At the same time, another girl who has a crush on him found out that he's single now and started to go after him. And he was just playing around, and didn't get in a rebound with that girl. His ex found out about it and she started being close to him again and ask for reconciliation (after 1 month). They both agree to get back together. After 3 months getting back together, they got in a very huge argue over something. And he realises that the feelings he had for her has change and vice versa. So they both agree to break up and just be friends. Now, they both are best friends.

[kate1985]

Yesterday, I got a phone call from an old friend of mine...apparently she's engaged and wanted to invite me to her wedding. I was shocked when I found out that her fiancée was her ex from a few years ago.

 

She was with him for 2 years, lived together, and even got engaged. They were in their early 20's at the time, and I guess the guy felt like he was missing out, so he dumped her and moved accross the country to enjoy the single life. My friend was an emotional mess and refused to leave her apartment for months at a time. Thankfully, she managed to get over it after some time.

 

Anyways, from what I know they were apart for 3 years with NC, except for one birthday text. I don't know how they got in touch or anything else...I didn't wanna bombard her with questions in the midst of her engagement news. But I must say, she sounds absolutely elated with happiness. I'm really happy for her!

[pillowtalk]

I love these stories!

 

They don't really make me think there is a chance of me getting back together with my ex, but it does give me a sense of calmness that everything works out the way it's supposed to.

[TheGriff]

Hey folks,

 

After 13 years of NO CONTACT with an ex I recently received the words we all want to hear in an e-mail on Facebook: "I have tried to find you for 6 years. I am so happy, I found you here. I would go anywhere in this world (we live 5000 km away from each other at the moment) just to see you again and to reconquer you. I let you go once. Mistake! I won't make the same mistake, again."

 

Too bad for him, that I have moved on and don't want him anymore. LOL

Success story you ask!? It sure is as he came back and wants a second chance. Oh, and the "relationship" was a short-term thing. Three months.

 

So, again, they do come back! And NC is the key!

[pillowtalk]

Hey folks,

 

After 13 years of NO CONTACT with an ex I recently received the words we all want to hear in an e-mail on Facebook: "I have tried to find you for 6 years. I am so happy, I found you here. I would go anywhere in this world (we live 5000 km away from each other at the moment) just to see you again and to reconquer you. I let you go once. Mistake! I won't make the same mistake, again."

 

Too bad for him, that I have moved on and don't want him anymore. LOL

Success story you ask!? It sure is as he came back and wants a second chance. Oh, and the "relationship" was a short-term thing. Three months.

 

So, again, they do come back! And NC is the key!

 

Whhhhaaaaaa. I need more details. That just so crazy!

 

How old are you now?

[kleinserenity]

Hey folks,

 

After 13 years of NO CONTACT with an ex I recently received the words we all want to hear in an e-mail on Facebook: "I have tried to find you for 6 years. I am so happy, I found you here. I would go anywhere in this world (we live 5000 km away from each other at the moment) just to see you again and to reconquer you. I let you go once. Mistake! I won't make the same mistake, again."

 

Too bad for him, that I have moved on and don't want him anymore. LOL

Success story you ask!? It sure is as he came back and wants a second chance. Oh, and the "relationship" was a short-term thing. Three months.

 

So, again, they do come back! And NC is the key!

 

Just crazy......................

 

extreme case! haha..

 

Yup, what's the details?

[TheGriff]

Just crazy......................

 

extreme case! haha..

 

Yup, what's the details?

 

 

Details: Back then he was 31, I was 22. I am 35 now. We met in Lisbon, Portugal and were inseparable for 3 months. Then I had to return to Germany and he let me go, although I had been willing to stay with him in Lisbon. After I got back to Germany, we kept in touch for a while but he quickly found someone else (rebound?) and I moved on. I would think of him from time to time but never initiated contact. So two weeks ago I received the above mentioned e-mail. Needless to say, my jaw dropped. After 13 years!? Whoaaaaaaaa! I didn't know I was that good back then.

[paradiselost]

Yesterday met a girl who has been seeing her boyfriend for 5 years.

 

She left him.

 

6 months later he asked her to reconcile, even he was the dumpee and she said yes.

 

So sometimes it doesnt have to be the dumper who asks, the dumpee can and it works out

[paradiselost]

link removed

[Tateziwin]

So many of these reconcilations seem to happen to people who had been dating for only a year or two.

 

Does anyone have stories of reconciliation where partners have been together for MANY years and then split and THEN later on get back together???

I would really love to hear something along those lines.

[michelle21689]

Hey guys, I wanted to add something on this post. My ex of 5 1/2 years that broke up with me 2 1/2 months ago wanted me back. Gave the whole lecture about missing me, biggest mistake, regretting it, me being it for him, and all that. I am sad to say that I couldn't accept because I feel like he needs to make life improvements because he hasn't changed anything for the better but I on the other hand made my life so much happier and grew. He needs to get his stuff together and find the real reason we broke up.

 

We were long distance too so I guess that shows you anything is possible. I was NC for 2 months until he contacted me ...He couldn't take it anymore. He said NC hurted him. Like I mentioned previously before on here, who knows what the future holds.

 

I'm seeing someone new and seeing where it goes....

 

I never thought he'd want to be with me again.

[pillowtalk]

So many of these reconcilations seem to happen to people who had been dating for only a year or two.

 

Does anyone have stories of reconciliation where partners have been together for MANY years and then split and THEN later on get back together???

I would really love to hear something along those lines.

 

I think maybe the reason why you don't hear as many really long-term relationship getting back together, is because by the end of the relationship, both parties have exhausted what they could to save the relationship. Perhaps, with shorter relationship, there's more of that "what if?" thought process.