i cheated

[fieldhockey]

Im a freshman in college and go to a different school then my boyfriend..i cheated on my boyfriend twice (once with my ex boyfriend) i felt so guilty so I had to tell my boyfriend..he didnt break up with me thank god.. me and my bestfriend recently got into a huge argument and still arent speaking, when me and her fought the only thing she could throw at me was how i cheated on my boyfriend. her throwing that in my face has gotten me to be extremely depressed and keeps making me feel like a horrible person. ive been told im young and these are the years where i experiment,date and have fun. is that true? i love my boyfriend and have become %100 commited to him. but how do i forgive myself and not let things bother me.

 

the cheating happened in september and october of 08

[BellaDonna]

Hi and welcome to enotalone. Your boyfriend has forgiven you, but you have not forgiven yourself. This might help: link removed

 

I should add that some remorse is healthy for you to feel, so that you avoid hurting him ever again- but your friend was out of line for digging up dirt that has nothing to do with your argument with her.

[_Asti_]

I don't think being young is an excuse for cheating. Some people think being young involves experimenting and having fun, but you do that when you're single..not committed. If you feel that way, you need to end your relationship.

 

Your boyfriend has forgiven you, if it was a mistake, let it go and focus on regaining what you lost in doing so.

 

But also try and figure out why you cheated twice. First time can be a mistake, the second time? No excuse. If there's a pattern or reason, you may want to try and dig and think about why you did those things.

[baseball8]

If you can't be faithful, then you shouldn't be in a relationship.

 

I wonder how you would feel if you found out your boyfriend had cheated on you. It does seem that people who do cheat are really paranoid that their partner will cheat on them.

 

As far as taking advice from others, everyone is different. If you're happy with your boyfriend, who cares what others think.

 

Sounds like you want to have a boyfriend but still check to see if the grass is greener on the other side every now and then.

[xmrth]

I don't think there's any excuse for cheating, BUT... it doesn't mean you have to beat yourself up for it if your boyfriend is okay with moving on from it. The best thing you can do is take what you learned and move forward, don't beat yourself up over it. It doesn't do anything... what purpose does it serve, you know?

Your friend throwing it in your face was a cheap blow though... try not to worry about it, take what you've learned and continue to move on, definitely.

[Salicia]

Don't let your best friend try to make you depressed.

You knew that cheating on your boyfriend was wrong so all you can do is move on from your experiences. Learn why you have cheated in the first place so you are less able to cheat again in the future.

As long as you are currently happy with your boyfriend and your boyfriend is happy with you, make light of where you are in your life now.

[denise_14]

you're lucky to have a forgiving and understanding bf...you are given a 2nd chance, don't screw it off. i agree with other posters that the best thing for you to do now is to move on. i have also cheated before, i learned a lot from the experience and now i am a better person. i am actually thankful for the experience. nobody's perfect; we all have moments of weaknesses. what's important is how you manage to get up from that fall. as for your bestfriend, i hope she really didn't mean that, probably she just got carried away by your argument. if she really is your bestfriend, i'm sure you'll be able to fix this conflict too. goodluck.

[ghost69]

if you feel you need to experiment and all that, you need to be single. not an excuse for what happened. 100% committed and in love? i don't see it.