shikashika Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 I don't know... I've frequented many gyms and I don't really talk to people I don't know while I'm there. I do use cardio machines, but I also use free weights. Most people listen to music. I get into a "zone" when I work out and probably don't seem very sociable. Bars are for socializing. Gyms are for working out. Maybe it's just like that for me because it's the way I see it. but I think this is the problem... if people close off certain places to meeting certain people then it will be a lot tougher. Most people I know did not meet their significant other at a bar. Nor did I meet most of my friends at a bar. I like to go to a bar. I like to go to the gym. I like to go to a lot of places. But I wouldn't say that only certain places are good for meeting people. Then it just it makes it so much harder to meet people if you decide that certain places are not for socialising. Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted March 21, 2009 Author Share Posted March 21, 2009 I didn't think of that! Excellent point. I wouldn't respond to a man who put "separated" either. You want the ex out of the picture before you begin a relationship. I tried to rep you on this but I've given out too much! Granted, but I cant really change that we have only been married a year so cant divorce for at least another year. I'm not one for bull**** so I guess I'm just screwed! Link to comment
alli Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 but I think this is the problem... if people close off certain places to meeting certain people then it will be a lot tougher. Most people I know did not meet their significant other at a bar. Nor did I meet most of my friends at a bar. I like to go to a bar. I like to go to the gym. I like to go to a lot of places. But I wouldn't say that only certain places are good for meeting people. Then it just it makes it so much harder to meet people if you decide that certain places are not for socialising. That's true. I met my bf paintballing. Never met anyone barhopping, but mainly I go to meet up with people I already know rather than to meet new people. And I'm not looking for guys when I'm working out since I have a boyfriend. I guess I could look for friendships. I don't know if it's regional or what.. but whenever I'm at a gym where I live, it doesn't seem like people talk to each other if they don't already know each other. Link to comment
alli Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 Granted, but I cant really change that we have only been married a year so cant divorce for at least another year. I'm not one for bull**** so I guess I'm just screwed! Is there a law where you live that once you get married, you can't file for divorce for 2 years? Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted March 21, 2009 Author Share Posted March 21, 2009 Is there a law where you live that once you get married, you can't file for divorce for 2 years? Sort of, there are ways you cant get a divorce after a year but you have to prove fraud or adultery which dont apply to us. The only other way is to be seperated for 2 years and then apply. Link to comment
alli Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 Sort of, there are ways you cant get a divorce after a year but you have to prove fraud or adultery which dont apply to us. The only other way is to be seperated for 2 years and then apply. What about an anullment? Link to comment
alli Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 Gyms are a serious place, not for yappin. I'd prefer if they made separate gyms for men and women... girls don't need to be around the big weights anyways...they could hurt their delicate frames or crack a nail. Nice... You know, I've actually heard of gyms that are for women only, because they want to work out without either feeling self-conscious or like they are being checked out. Then I heard of a guy who sued that gym because it was "discriminating" against him. Apparently, he was mad because he was excited about the new gym being built on his route to work, then upset when he found out he couldn't join. Not sure whatever happened with that. Seems like it was on 20/20 a long time ago or something. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 Separated to many women = married. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 Separated to many women = married. equals possible reconciliation....... Link to comment
alli Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 That guy sounds clueless. He should have started his own gym just for men. Some people like to use the legal system to claim "injustices" against themselves as a way to get money. Link to comment
tulipsfav Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 Have you tried the site Dating link removed? Link to comment
shikashika Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 Nice... You know, I've actually heard of gyms that are for women only, because they want to work out without either feeling self-conscious or like they are being checked out. . Oh god... women like this really irk me. Imagine having such an ego that they are too worried about the gaggles of men pestering them and checking them out. Link to comment
alli Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 Oh god... women like this really irk me. Imagine having such an ego that they are too worried about the gaggles of men pestering them and checking them out. It can go the other way. Women trying to get in shape & lose weight but they are self-conscious of men seeing too much jiggling going on. That's kind of one of the ideas of "Curves" for women. Most of those places have the blinds closed during the day so people outside can't watch. Anyway, I think we're drifting from the topic! Link to comment
shikashika Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 It can go the other way. Women trying to get in shape & lose weight but they are self-conscious of men seeing too much jiggling going on. That's kind of one of the ideas of "Curves" for women. Most of those places have the blinds closed during the day so people outside can't watch. Anyway, I think we're drifting from the topic! yes we are... but you don't see gyms for men because the men are worried about their jiggling! Why do women need the special treatment? But anyway, to keep it back on topic i think the gym is a much better place to meet a girl for the OP than this dating site. Especially since he is separated and that would cause a lot of women to look away before even getting to know him. If they meet him at the gym/ grocery store/ library... and get to know him, the separated thing MIGHT not be as much of an issue. Link to comment
alli Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 yes we are... but you don't see gyms for men because the men are worried about their jiggling! Why do women need the special treatment? But anyway, to keep it back on topic i think the gym is a much better place to meet a girl for the OP than this dating site. Especially since he is separated and that would cause a lot of women to look away before even getting to know him. If they meet him at the gym/ grocery store/ library... and get to know him, the separated thing MIGHT not be as much of an issue. I agree. Personally I see online dating as a last resort, if you have trouble meeting people in real life first because.. maybe you live in a non-populous area that doesn't have a whole lot places to meet people because there aren't a lot of people that live nearby in general. For me, I would meet people to date when random chances appear. Like, a while back I met this bus driver I thought was hot, so I gave him my number. Luckily he was recently single, so we went on a couple dates. Another was my old workplace. I went on a few dates with about the youngest guy who worked there (who was still 9 years older than me!). With my bf, we were facebook friends for a year before we started dating. I posted something asking friends for recommendations of a good car mechanic, and he offered to help fix my car himself. So it wasn't even a date to start out with. We just decided to get some dinner together afterward & hit it off from there. I did go on a couple dates with a couple guys I met online. They were ok, nothing wrong with them. I think we just didn't click because we decided to go on a date before actually meeting in person. Had we met in person first (like with my "random chance" guys), we would have known it wouldn't have been worth even bothering to go on a date! It just seems like things work out better when you know them in real life first. Then you know whether or not there was even a chance that things might go well. And the gym thing... I think "Curves" for men wouldn't be such a big hit! Haha! Link to comment
servedcold Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 OP, you can't take dating site unresponsiveness personally. Just up your numbers. The best way to look at it is that you are sifting a database to meet women personally as soon as possible. Write to many women, practice your approach, hone your profile. Online dating is like playing an instrument or learning a language, it takes time and practice. If you are marked as separated, this is very tough to get response, as most people won't respond to someone who is not fully divorced as they perceive baggage. There are tons of threads on how to succeed online, look in the cyber board under the relationship category for these threads. Best wishes. Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted March 22, 2009 Author Share Posted March 22, 2009 Thanks for the comments everyone. Just have to be patient and try to get out in the real world a bit more. I'm going back into martial arts shortly so I think i'm gonna take up yoga to get my flexability back up to par. Hopefully will meet someone there. Thanks again, ENA, where would I be without it! Link to comment
VerdeShimmer Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Ok it has only been a week. Darling it takes time with this online stuff. But yeah if you have separated on the profile. I for one automatically avoid it. Don't get so down. You are young. You will do well. Don't give up hope yet. Also I look at many guys at the gym, and have made some acquaintances at the gym. Link to comment
shikashika Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Thanks for the comments everyone. Just have to be patient and try to get out in the real world a bit more. I'm going back into martial arts shortly so I think i'm gonna take up yoga to get my flexability back up to par. Hopefully will meet someone there. Thanks again, ENA, where would I be without it! Yoga would be a treasure chest! Most classes are at least 85% women! A great place for a guy to meet a woman! Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 No matter how wonderful a profile may be, if a guy is listed as separated, I just delete him. This is most likely the cause of your lack of success. So, its not you, just your present situation. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 No matter how wonderful a profile may be, if a guy is listed as separated, I just delete him. This is most likely the cause of your lack of success. So, its not you, just your present situation. Bingo. When your marital status changes, so will your dating status. Hang in there. Link to comment
fivespot Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 So what's my excuse, then??? I had an online profile on plentyoffish and I just deleted it today! First of all, my "looks" rating was only a 3 out of 10 and that's coming from 30 votes. Not only that, I thought I had a nice picture up, a decent description of my hobbies and interests, and what I'm looking for in a relationship. I sent messages to 5 different women--all unique and creative messages--and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM were marked "read deleted" when I checked my account today. So I give up... again And this is a day after boozing all night trying to find a decent girl at a bar. I found two in the whole bar the entire night. Both were good looking, but I left the better-looking one alone because I didn't think I had a shot. Plus, the one I went after went out of her way to get my name, she kept looking at me, etc. So when we were dancing, I put my arm around her and she says, "I have a boyfriend." So I wanted to leave right there and then, but after about a half hour I tried my luck with the other one. She was a drunken skank and after I tried putting the moves on her, she was all over two of my other friends later on that night. Maybe bars are a good place, maybe gyms are a good place...maybe neither are. I think it just comes down to the fact that I'm unattractive (rating of 3 still sticks with me more that I thought it would) and I'm basically unlucky in love. My only real relationship was this fling with a girl I thought loved me, but she just actually used me as a rebound to get over her ex. Sorry for hijacking your thread, OP Link to comment
servedcold Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Fivespot put no weight at all on the poor looks rating, on a free site like that it could be male prison inmates rating you for all you know. Link to comment
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