penelope13 Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 are you still here? talk to me Link to comment
penelope13 Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 honey, keep talking to me. Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Hey you! I'm supposed to be studying now, but you crossed my mind & I thought I'd sign on & see if you had posted since we last spoke. How're you holding up? I see you're feeling a bit frustrated again. Link to comment
sweetharmony Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 hey there. just came accross this post. though I can never understand your pain, I can empathize deeply. I am so glad you came here for help. Depression can be debilitating, but it seems you are reaching out. you can fight this. I have experienced severe depression too and I'm here if you need to talk. Keep posting, there is help out there for you. people do care about you. you are so young and it can get better. you just need the right help. don't give up. we care and want to be there to support you. **hugs** Link to comment
carol2ascend Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Take all the help you can get, stay alive, keep fighting! I wish for you peace of mind, so that your thoughts are clear, courage with convictions so that you can feel self assured, strength with resolve to bring about stability, and continual love within your heart. God bless you, sacred child of God. Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Hey somebodyyyy, Haven't heard from you for a while. Gettin worried. Plz reply if you see this Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Hey, I hope your ok. Nobody is ever a mistake or worth nothing. You have a bright future ahead of you. And people do LOVE you. Link to comment
nobody88 Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 hey im here i was havin problems over the weekend so i couldnt get on Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 hey im here i was havin problems over the weekend so i couldnt get on How was your weekend? I remembered that you're supposed to see your therapist today, so I wanted to check up on you & see how that went. My weekend was pretty lame. Had to work overtime since the boss was out of town, & had problems with the bf (broke-up). Not sure what's gonna happen with that. Link to comment
TechResQ Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Thinking of you, hoping your counseling session went well. Link to comment
nobody88 Posted March 11, 2009 Author Share Posted March 11, 2009 yea it went ok but over the weekend i was just really bad mentally i was really depressd and i couldnt take it anymore (the pain i mean). so i took a bunch of pills , i stayed in the hospital over the weekend. i knew it wasnt going to kill me but i felt it was the only thing i could do. i guess it was a cry for help. it made me realize i guess i dont wanna die. im still really depressed and hurt, so im just gunna have to deal wit it. i just got so much inside its driving me crazy i need to get it outbut something always holds me back and i cant. Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 yea it went ok but over the weekend i was just really bad mentally i was really depressd and i couldnt take it anymore (the pain i mean). so i took a bunch of pills , i stayed in the hospital over the weekend. i knew it wasnt going to kill me but i felt it was the only thing i could do. i guess it was a cry for help. it made me realize i guess i dont wanna die. im still really depressed and hurt, so im just gunna have to deal wit it. i just got so much inside its driving me crazy i need to get it outbut something always holds me back and i cant. I'm so sorry to hear about that. I want to tell you that it was the wrong thing to do, but I know you already know that. I'm just really really glad you realized how precious life is & that you don't wanna die. I know you're really depressed, & that's not going to go away overnight. You already took the 2 biggest steps: 1) Realizing you have a problem, & 2) Seeking help. You took a huge step forward by talking to all of us here on ENA, & I'm very proud of you for making an appointment with a counselor. Life will get better, I promise you...it just takes time. My father passed away 4 years ago. My parents were divorced before he passed, so I was always going through some kind of family problem. It took me a few years to come back to normal, but I did it with a lot of help from people & some professional help, also. Did you make it to your appointment, or did you have to reschedule due to the hospital incident? P.S. I'm so glad you're still with us. Link to comment
TechResQ Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 yea it went ok but over the weekend i was just really bad mentally i was really depressd and i couldnt take it anymore (the pain i mean). so i took a bunch of pills , i stayed in the hospital over the weekend. i knew it wasnt going to kill me but i felt it was the only thing i could do. i guess it was a cry for help. it made me realize i guess i dont wanna die. im still really depressed and hurt, so im just gunna have to deal wit it. i just got so much inside its driving me crazy i need to get it outbut something always holds me back and i cant. I was so glad to read this! Not that you took the pills, but that you said you don't want to die. That is such a good thing to read. WE don't want you to die either. It was a cry for help and I hope the Drs were listening. They are monitoring you to make sure you get the help you need after this weekend aren't they? How did your Mom take it? Your sister? We are here for ya. Vent away! Look at it this way, you are still depressed and hurt, but at least you know you want to live. That is a large step on the ladder of getting out of the hole you are in. Good for you! Link to comment
nobody88 Posted March 11, 2009 Author Share Posted March 11, 2009 yea i made it to my appointment..it didnt really seem like they cared that much my mom and sister. my mom didnt come see me and my sister was just saying it never ends cuz i went back into the hospital. i talked to my mom over the phone and she didnt really have anything to say, it really hurt. Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 yea i made it to my appointment..it didnt really seem like they cared that much my mom and sister. my mom didnt come see me and my sister was just saying it never ends cuz i went back into the hospital. i talked to my mom over the phone and she didnt really have anything to say, it really hurt. I'm sorry to hear that they didn't come. I know it upsets you, but you have to understand...your story has become "the boy who cried wolf". You keep attempting to kill yourself, when in reality, you know you don't want to die. You've made several attempts & failed, & your family just isn't buying it anymore. They're tired of you seeking attention in such a negative way. I promise you if you stopped hurting yourself, & put that energy into something more positive--like establishing a relationship with your mother & sister, things would be so much better & easier on you. I'm sure they both love you & care about you, & I'm also sure they've tried to help you in the past. It's just come to a point where they feel like they shouldn't give you the attention if this is the way you choose to seek it. From a psychological perspective, they're right. They shouldn't show you that it's ok to hurt yourself, & that you'll get the attention you're seeking everytime you decide to attempt suicide. You have to understand, by hurting yourself, you're not only doing harm to your own body/mind, but others, as well. Your family is hurting from the decisions you're making, & I'm sure they would be very willing to help you & work with you if you just stopped crying for help & actually did something productive. Link to comment
nobody88 Posted March 11, 2009 Author Share Posted March 11, 2009 its not that i wanna get attention, i was just hoping maybe i took enough that i was almost dead, i didnt expect my mom to come anyways but her not come was just a reasurance that she doesnt care why i did it. i mean if i had a son or daughter i would do anything for them, if i found out they took a bunch of pills and were in the ER and i didnt go see them or talk to them i would feel like the worst person. its ok though im used to dissappointment and people not caring about my feelings. i just wish ya know that i had someone to back me up and look out for me, someone i could look up to who wouldnt make promises and break them or call me names. i feel invisible. when i was young i didnt get attention they only paid attention to my older brother or younger sister. i know when i was younger like 14 i used to get in a lot of trouble with the law cuz all i wanted was someone to notice me or pay attention to me. even if it meant being disorderly and being gripped up and put in cuffs. now i see that i was only hurting myself. i dont do that stuff anymore because im older and i know better. Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 I really hope your intention wasn't to kill yourself. All these "failed" attempts should tell you that you aren't meant to die so soon. It's not your time to go. I know what you mean. If I had children, I also would be by their side no matter what & make sure nothing like that ever happened to them. My father never cared about me, either. My parents were divorced & he basically walked out of our lives & didn't even care to know if we were still alive or not. It hurt to accept that your own father could be so heartless, but I came to the realization that when all else fails, you're all you got. You can't keep depending on others to help you. I know it would be nice if you had someone there to understand you, but nobody's going to be willing to get close to someone who's emotionally & mentally unstable. Everyone's scared of the possible outcome of a relationship like that. Whether it's a friendship, relationship with a family member, or even a relationship with a female...it's not gonna be successful until you decide to take the necessary steps to change. Link to comment
nobody88 Posted March 11, 2009 Author Share Posted March 11, 2009 im trying to change i really am , i cant change thet fact that i have bipolar and depressin but im handeling it way better than berfore. im actually doing better than what i was the last few years. i think this weekend was just a freakout or a nervous breakdown but im ok now im juss sad. none of my friends kno about all the stuff i gotta deal with mentally or that i was even in the psych ward i just told them i was really sick physically and had to stay in the hospital a few days. i cant tell them any of this cuz they wont understand and tell people im crazy. im dont think im depending on others for help, is it wrong to want someone just to help you through a tough time in your life? you said "I know it would be nice if you had someone there to understand you, but nobody's going to be willing to get close to someone who's emotionally & mentally unstable. Everyone's scared of the possible outcome of a relationship like that" that makes me feel like because i have so many issues no one wants to help me. im really a caring and honest person i care about other people before myself and i would give the shirt off my back for them. im kind and i believe im very smart. i know i have good qualitys but nobody sees them they only see whats on the outside, and just dont understand. are you telling me to stop asking for help? cuz i thought thats what im supposed to do , its takes guts for me to come on here and tell everyone all this stuff and put myself out there, i kinda feel criticized or i guess kinda hurt by what you said Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Oh no sweety...I didn't mean to hurt you or criticize you. I feel so bad. I wasn't trying to say don't ask for help. I was just trying to say that nobody can really help you unless you want to help yourself. You're doing great by putting yourself out there & asking for help. That's a huge step, & it takes a lot of strength & courage to be able to do that. I can tell you're a very generous, kind person. You said, "they only see what's on the outside". Who exactly are you on the outside? You mentioned that your friends don't know that you've hurt yourself because they'll think you're "crazy". Well, what are friends for if they can't be there for you at times like this? Link to comment
nobody88 Posted March 11, 2009 Author Share Posted March 11, 2009 dont feel bad , its ok. i guess there not really true friends. all the friends that i have or ever had were involved with drugs so i really need to cut ties with them because im trying to stay clean, but i cant because i would be even lonelier than what i am now. its like im trying to get away from that life but it just seems to find me no matter what. i think people look down on me because the way i look or dress. im embarrased of myself i usually dont talk about that though becasue im afraid of what people will think of me Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 dont feel bad , its ok. i guess there not really true friends. all the friends that i have or ever had were involved with drugs so i really need to cut ties with them because im trying to stay clean, but i cant because i would be even lonelier than what i am now. its like im trying to get away from that life but it just seems to find me no matter what. i think people look down on me because the way i look or dress. im embarrased of myself i usually dont talk about that though becasue im afraid of what people will think of me You're right. You shouldn't be hanging out with people like that. Right now, you can use some positive influences in your life. How do you look/dress, & why are you uncomfortable with it? Don't you choose to dress that way because you like it? Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 By the way, I gotta run in a few minutes cuz I have a few errands to run, but I'm going to private message you my email address right now so you can write me on there. I get the emails on my phone as soon as you send them, so I can reply right away. Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 What kinds of things happened with guys honey? I know it's hard to let it out there, but nobody really knows you on here, so it's ok. Maybe talking about it will help you out. Link to comment
ForeverAngels Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I have a son who is bipolar. Well he was dianosed with it anyway. He has been through alot of the same things you have. He has'nt atemted sucide but has threanted it. He dos'nt what to leave this world but I understand his lonlyness and why he don't tell other people either. Try to go see your doctor and tell he/she that what your on is not working. Maybe they can back you off some of the med's. If they are not helping you go see another doctor. Get a second opionion. It might be the med's making you feel this way. There are other option's Take Your Life In Your Hands. Link to comment
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