30 years old, hate my job, cant get a new one, I have a ton of debt and the love of my life left me.

[AlwayzRight]

I am lost people!!!!!!!

 

Well to start out I HATE my job. I work overnights and cant seem to find a different job. The only jobs that I do come accross pay alot less than I make now but I can not take them because of the 70k in debt that I am in (school loans, car loan, credit card). The girl that I thought I was gonna marry left me 5 months ago after 3.5 years and all I want is to start meeting some new girls to get over her but I cant because I work [removed by mod] nights (7pm-5AM). It is rue that love makes the unbearable, bearable because when I was with her I did not HATE my crappy job as much as I do now. I also just turned 30 and I feel like life is passing me by, I feel like I will NEVER get out of debt. I feel like I will never fall in love again. It has been hard for me to get out of bed during the day because it just feels like NOTHING WILL CHANGE and its THE SAME DAMN THING DAY AFTER DAY so there is no point in getting out of bed. Its like I am living the real life Groundhog day movie!!!!!!!!

 

Well theres my vent session.....but I would really like some advice if anyone has any because I feel like I am going to absolutely lose my mind.

[redhearts]

Have you been making payments? Setting money aside? It is best to not date when your in debt, so you pay your debt and not pay for dinners.

[kevinm]

OP.... I can definitely empathize with the Groundhog day feeling. I get it all the time. But, get your debt under control. Clearly it stresses you out and also frankly is not very attractive to potential partners. As far as the job thing goes... I'm sorry to say, but right now is about THE worst time to be abandoning ship. Be patient and keep looking. After it's all said and done you can either look back and think that you screwed up, or look back and be proud of how you handled the situation.

 

-Kevin

[boarderboy]

Agh. Sounds like a dirt situation.

Not much you can do about her leaving I guess...? But I would try and focus on finding another job, maybe even in a different city, if there aren't any where you live now. New surroundings would also give you fresh perspective and hopefully inspire you to crawl out of this headlock of debt and mental anguish. Been there, know what it's like. What line of work are you in? Consider changing? Are you qualified in anything?

Talk to a financial advisor about how to solve your money problems, do you have assets? Unless you win the lottery 70k isn't just going to disappear but there might be ways of chipping away at it until it's gone without putting too much of a hole in your pocket. Scrap girls for now mate, time heals all wounds, I would give it a year or at least wait until you're properly on your feet before jumping back into a relationship. Otherwise you tend to vest too much of yourself, and what you value to be important in someone else. Maybe that's what you have done with her? Because if she's the only good thing in your life, when she disappears it's bound to wreck you. So get over this one, pick your life up and start fresh is my advice. Peace bro

[top bloke]

Are these really problems or challenges? 70k debt isnt that bad..I have 1million debt. Your girlfriend left...good riddance to her maybe youll meety someone better.

You hate your job..alot of people cant even get a job.You see...its a the way you look at it.What do you think?

[Radίaηce]

Are these really problems or challenges? 70k debt isnt that bad..I have 1million debt. Your girlfriend left...good riddance to her maybe youll meety someone better.

You hate your job..alot of people cant even get a job.You see...its a the way you look at it.What do you think?

 

luuuuv the post above.

[top bloke]

luuuuv the post above.

 

Thank you. It rings true and helps to reign in our negative feelings by thinking differently.

[bms85]

Want an honest opinion? Quit your job go bankrupt, and start over. It means next to nothing now thanks to the * * * * ty economy. you'll still have to pay your student loans I'm pretty sure, but most most everything else will be forgiven.

 

The heart ache it will cause is far less than a life of misery. This time play it smart. Get a beater, a job you enjoy, and buy a house with some friends while they're cheap... room together then sell it when things look up. Split the earnings & use it to settle with the new girl you find. Life is far too short to live this unhappily. Debt is our enemy, it enslaves us.

[Radίaηce]

I agree. If you have it bad, someone else has it worse. My goodness, i remember some guy posted about his friend losing his job, getting his teeth knocked out with a hockey puck, and find out that his girlfriend or wife cheated on him...oh my!

[AlwayzRight]

Are these really problems or challenges? 70k debt isnt that bad..I have 1million debt. Your girlfriend left...good riddance to her maybe youll meety someone better.

You hate your job..alot of people cant even get a job.You see...its a the way you look at it.What do you think?

 

Yes, but when you have been trying for a few years to battle these challenges (except losing my girl) and nothing seems to work or change than it EATS at you. Like I said love makes the unbearable, bearable and now that I have lost that I am starting lose my mind. No I have lost my mind.

[lonelyandblue]

I hear ya. I ready to lose it myself. It is because I turned 30 also. Same sort of scenario. I started kind of seeing someone and it started making me feel better after leaving abuse, but I am ruining it with my insecurity, etc. So I don't know what to say. We have to find our happiness, break things down into more manageable parts?

[top bloke]

Yes, but when you have been trying for a few years to battle these challenges (except losing my girl) and nothing seems to work or change than it EATS at you. Like I said love makes the unbearable, bearable and now that I have lost that I am starting lose my mind. No I have lost my mind.

 

Hang on...I was battling the same things bar the loss of my woman and I outright lost 80k last year....What gives?

 

This has been for alot of years for me too but I realised that I cant give up the ghost but dig my heals in and fight for what I want.

Self pity and giving up is the nail in the coffin. The real end for me is when they do put that last nail in as everything can be possible if we are prepared to fight for it while alive and resist the give up attitude. Dont give up brother...we are alive and we live to fight another day...

[wayoverit]

it's not debt, but my stocks plunged from $490,000 to $20K today since last December.. how about that? who's gonna help me recover? Obama? hahaha

 

As for getting over the girl? It's just a matter of time you'll forget her and find a new beginning with a new girl. And that is what we call life my friend. Another 40 years or so to go for me.. not too bad really haha

[Orlander]

When I was 30 I was unemployed (our government contracts were pulled because of 9/11 and Bush's knee-jerk reaction). I was on unemployment for 9 months and was finally forced to get a job making salads in a nice Italian restaurant.

 

I had the love of my life with me at that point but man, I probably would have given her up at that point to be where I am right now. 6 years later and I have no girl, some debt but man business is good and i'm making more than i thought I ever would in life. Even bought a new BMW last month.

 

Not trying to bum you out...just saying you have to have patience and work, slowly towards your dreams.

[LAYAAN]

hang in there.

- You atleast have a job. Please, don't leave it. Just keep doing what you can at your job. Hang in there. Okay, if it sucks today, once your situation improves, you can quit it. For now, just keep playing along.

- Keep making min. payments on your credit card.

- Try to save money on non-necessary things, no eating out, no entertainment, get rid of clutter n things you don't need in garage sale. Sit down and analyze 1) what can you do to bring more money in. What can you do to get additional part-time job? What can you do to learn more skills at your job and may be take up another task at your job and ask for a pay raise? 2) what can you do to save your money? analyze what is your must have? what is absolutely needed? can you shop at thrift store?

- if the love of your life left you at this time, was it really the love of your life? forget it, let go, good, you have 1 less thing to worry about. If he can't support you emotionally at this time, why you need him?

 

these are challenging phases. every person has 'em. Try to sort out 1 thing at a time. don't give up. hang in there. This too shall end.

[AlwayzRight]

Thanks for the responses....I just can NOT work over nights anymore. Its like I do not see ANYONE all week. I have nothing in common with co-workers. Any advice on how to meet some women during the day?....I really just need some type of motivation to get out of bed during the day...I used to get up at a certain time during the day when I was still with my girl but now I try and it just cant seem to get my ass out of bed anymore.

[top bloke]

From exhaustion or lack of motivation?

[LanceVanceDance]

I would advise you to leave your job. You said yourself you can't take it anymore. Work is not always a piece of cake, but when you can't take it, you can't take it. Please understand that I don't know your exact financial situation, how quickly you are likely to find a new job, etc. so take this advice with a grain of salt and take your own decision. IF you feel you can financially stand it, then I would leave. But don't starve and don't become homeless!

 

But I can't see how you would meet a new girl if you work all night, every night. Not only you have to find a way to meet her during the day, which is already a feat in itself. Then, more importantly, you have to convince her that you can have a healthy relationship even though you're always at work from 7pm to 5am. If I was single and met a new girl with such a work schedule, I probably would pass on getting involved with her, even if I liked her.

 

So if you can afford to leave your job, do it, and create some new opportunities for yourself.

[AlwayzRight]

From exhaustion or lack of motivation?

 

........both

[AlwayzRight]

The reason that I havent left is my financial situation....I wish I could man....it is literally eating me up.

[LanceVanceDance]

At least call, send your resume, etc. to other places. Commit to find yourself another job, during daytime this time. Make it your motivation to get out of bed and work on it like a bastard every day until you succeed.

 

Once you no longer have to work the nightshift, a lot of possibilities will open.

[Orlander]

you have to have a passion in life. If you follow that passion, paths WILL open up for you. Get out of that job you are in. Take your free time to look for another. If you can't find anything cause you are too depressed or tired then force a situation where you can leave/get fired from your job AND where you can get unemployment.

 

You HAVE to find what you want to do in life and strive to make it a reality.

[Blue Streak]

The first step is simple, get your young ass out of debt, tomorrow. Yea, I said young. Do the math. Talk to Dave Ramsey. Google his name if you have to. Get your ass out of worrying about owing others cash flow. Just do it. It's a freedom like nothing else to pay cash.

 

To think your life is passing you by, is simply an illusion. Anyone informing you in that fashion does not understand truth in life. Do you understand how many years left you have available to you? Have you done the math? Probably not. The answer is a crap load, so long as you treat your self well amigo. You will likely be 130+ by the time you age. That means, if you want to, you got another 100 years to rock the world.

 

Nobody will believe me simply because they do not know how to do the math.

[AlwayzRight]

God I hate working over nights....just missed out on a couple of decent part time gigs because of the time I get off...not to mention a chick that I had some interest in pretty much told me it wont happen BECAUSE of our schedules.

[COtuner]

Sorry you're going through this. I read your post because when I saw it I said, "OMG that is so me when I was 30!". I mean identical to your thread title except it was my BF of 3 years. It does get better with time, as lame as that sounds. Feel free to lean on me if you need an ear.