Ok Guys, what do you think about this??

[Romi]

Ok I was just talking to a friend and he told me that when you just met someone and just started dating you should be a "busy person". Not showing too much interest in him and have your own life, friends, work, etc etc.

That's what I have been doing and I wasn't showing too much interest but in the other hand I'm tired of games.

If you like someone I think you should show him sending some text or maybe calling once in a wile (not allways, I think is the guy who should initiate most of contact at fist)...

 

So what do you think? Do you like girls showing interest? Or do you like the girl who's playing hard to get/busy one??

 

THX in advance!

[gidget1]

Eh, I don't like games either, unless you aren't serious about it, but I'm interested to hear what other guys say.

[Clarity]

It all depends - if I like the girl, she can probably do little wrong. If I'm on the fence, depending on the manner of the contact, it could really sway me either way. If I don't like the girl... well... there's not much that can be done then anyway.

[lostandhurt]

It sounds like a game. You have a life anyways and shouldn't change because of some guy. Don't turn down plans with your friends and sit by the phone waiting but on the other hand if you are free then why not talk on the phone or see a movie or something.

 

 

lost

[scorpio47]

Playing games in relationships is for kids. I don't see a problem with being busy when you start a relationship, but NOT showing interest, in my opinion, is not a very good move. If a guy shows interest in you and you play this game, he may back off and find someone else who is interested. That's not a place where you want to be. Frankly, I've been pursued by girls in the past, and it's ALWAYS been flattering. Yes, I do think there should be some "chasing", but you shouldn't pretend to be something you're not either...

[thejigsup]

I can see both sides of this argument. Looking too needy (I have nothing better to do but call you) is such a turnoff! On the other hand, if you want to call him, why shouldn't you? Anything else is false. I'm one for acting naturally and letting the chips fall where they may. If I have time, I call. If I don't, I won't. At least this way, he will accept or reject the real you.

[Romi]

I think that you can be a very busy person but if you like someone then you always have time to call or text...

I hate games. But I don't want to appear as a needy person too so I like when the guy do most of the initial contact...

 

I'm asking this question because I just started dating a new guy and I only saw him 2 times in 3 weeks, but beside this, he's been writing texts and emails and calling everyday so I think it's a good sign and I been trying to show some interest too.

Both times we went out he was the one who asked me out and at the end of the date he sent me a text saying how he enjoyed my company... But to show some interest I invited him this saturday out and he said yes but today he cancelled because of his mom's birthday. That's why I'm asking if it could be a turn off for a guy to been pursued by a girl...

 

I just know I don't want to play games anymore!!! AGHHHHHH

[Batya33]

I didn't play games but I did believe in letting the guy do more of the contacting, asking out and planning in the beginning of a relationship because in my experience - direct and indirect- the vast majority of guys were much more comfortable and interested when they were the main initiator in the beginning. I made sure I had a busy, fun life in reality so when I declined a weekend date where he asked me last minute (after wednesday night) it was almost always because I had other plans. If I didn't then my reasoning was that plans with myself were far more important than plans with someone who couldn't be bothered to make advance plans.

 

When I first was dating someone, if we had plans for another date I didn't mind emailing/calling between dates but if he hadn't yet asked me out I made sure to keep our conversations brief and not to be his chat buddy on instant message. I wanted him to be motivated to see me again and if I gave the impression that I was available any ole time he wanted to chat, that would decrease the incentive.

[Batya33]

I think "too much interest" is a relative term. A person who has a fun, busy, fulfilling life is less likely to come accross as overeager than a person who does not.

[servedcold]

The underlying point of the friend's advice is not to play the game of being busy, but to actually have a full, rich life that is not dependent on relationships for happiness. Many people out there don't feel happy unless they are in a relationship 100% of the time, and this leads to all sorts of unfortunate behavior, clinginess, insecurity, codependence etc., that is usually counterproductive in forming healthy relationships.

 

It is a balancing act also, in that many people go to the other extreme and place artificial boundaries around themselves, testing those who are interested unduly and making them jump through hoops for no good reason.

[Romi]

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR ANSWERS!!

Yes, I agree with you Servedcold, but I do believe that if you are interested in a person then you can make time to see them (at least on weekends) and this guy is confusing me cause we only met twice but in the other hand he’s showing interest by texting and calling an emailing me everyday. So what the hell? Is he taking things slow?? Or he's not that into me?? I don't know....

 

Is it normal when you start dating someone to see them once a week?? Or maybe once every 2 weeks? I think that's not enough for me but at the same time I can't say anything because I just met him 3 weeks ago....

 

Now I decided to back off a little bit. Like I said, I hate playing games but I think he's the one who's taking me there...

Do you guys think this is what I suppose to do??