lux848 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 i feel that after i sent this i will feel better. i want this to be the last email i send her, ever. it's a mean email but it's nothing compared to what she did to me. The intent of this statement is: we are now eternally even. Meaning, neither of us owe each other anything; not physically, not spiritually, nothing. Whether you receive this or not is irrelevant. Any response or non-response from you will be deemed as an acceptance of this statement. You have showed me true love does not exist. While I was thinking about what Christmas gifts to offer you and your family, while I was figuring out which restaurant to take you for a romantic dinner, you were performing fellatio on someone (your confession). Your web of lies is weaved from your ego, immaturity, selfishness, illusionistic self entitlement, mild addiction to cigarettes, drugs and alcohol. Everything that happened between us since the day we met was a lie. You may think you have invested much into the relationship we had but you are sadly mistaken. I can honestly say I have done above and beyond what a boyfriend would normally do, not just for you but your family as well. The resources (money, manual labour, and etc) I wasted in you for the past 3 years were exchanged for your companionship. Hence, we are eternally even. Mind you, much of your companionship were very unpleasant; as a grand final gesture I have decided to purge it from my memory. Link to comment
penelope13 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 I hope this is not her real name, otherwise I would suggest you to delete it. Whether you receive this or not is irrelevant. Follow your own words and don't send it. It was good that you wrote this down and got it out of your system, but you are not gaining anything by sending it. I understand your feeling of betrayal, disappointment, and anger. But don't let the anger rule your actions now. If you are trying to make her regret her behavior, this is surely not the way to do it. I feel for you and the emotions you are going through. I hope posting here will help you deal with it in a safe and healthy way. Good luck to you Link to comment
dqueen Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Err...first of all, you might want to edit out her name for privacy purposes. And secondly, while I can understand your frustration and anger, I don't think it would be very wise to send an email like this. Why stoop to such a low level? What are you hoping to get from sending this? Link to comment
unabashed Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 You should probably remove her name from the post, I'd think. If it doesn't matter to you whether or not she sees it, as you said, then I wouldn't bother sending it. It's just drama. She's in high school? Are you? If she is 18 or less, then it might be helpful to take the perspective that she is young and not ready for the depth of the relationship that you tried to have with her. Taking this melodramatic "life lesson" from the situation seems unnecessary. True love may not exist for the two of you together, but that doesn't mean it won't exist for you in the future. I'd say you should move on, get yourself together, emotionally, and try again. She doesn't sound like the right girl for you. Remember, of course, that she is still more girl than woman when it comes to relationships. Link to comment
LBP Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Basically, you're calling her a prostitute. Just walk away instead. Link to comment
lux848 Posted January 28, 2009 Author Share Posted January 28, 2009 What are you hoping to get from sending this? im just so angry... Link to comment
lux848 Posted January 28, 2009 Author Share Posted January 28, 2009 Basically, you're calling her a prostitute. Just walk away instead. dont mean to rude but if she didnt act like one... i know i should walk away. i dont ever want to see her. Link to comment
blue69 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Anger is a negative emotion. If left unchecked it can fester and bring about negativeness in your life. Forgive her and move on in life. Link to comment
JohnGalt Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Send it. If she was cheating on you and you were betrayed...send it. Just make sure you are really angry with her and want nothing to do with her again. Yeah, the letter may come accross as immature to a bunch of people on ENA, but she cheated on you and it'll make you feel better to get your emotions out and have her know how much of a disgusting person you think she is. Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 im just so angry... "If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size?" Be the bigger person & let it go. Whether you decide to forgive her or not is your choice, but let it go & move on with your life. Just like you mentioned, whether she receives the letter or not is irrelevant. Whether she understands it or not is irrelevant. Someone who has the audacity to cheat & do the things she did clearly does not have the ability to feel remorse or guilt, so why send it? If anything, she's just gonna laugh it off, or she's gonna attack you back...which will only lead to more anger. You know you've forgiven & overcome when you can breathe & let the anger go. It's the best feeling you'll ever feel (next to an orgasm Try it. Link to comment
Seymore Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Be the bigger person and don't send it. Your silence is payback enough. Link to comment
pushforward Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 If you don't ever want to see her, what good will this do by sending her this letter? Want to have revenge? No contact. Want to go out with dignity? No contact. Silence is golden. If you don't say anything to her, she is left to think about it. Either she comes to terms with it, or she doesn't learn anything. You calling her names or telling her how much you hate her and what she did, let's her know that she can still hurt you. How about you focus on you and fight the urge. Be the bigger person. Let her sleep in the bed she made. This doesn't concern you anymore. You will probably end up regretting it as well. After you've calmed down. In one of my previous posts, #4 which you can apply to your situation. 1. Stay NC, she doesn't matter. What she feels doesn't matter. What you feel matters. You do not reply, it will set you back in healing. (In my opinion is what is best for you.)(She left, assume it's over and she is never coming back. She wants to use you as an emotional crutch. Hey, let me break your heart. Not care about your needs and tell you how much my life is great. Let me remind you that I left you and hurt you.) 2. You politely reply, "Do not contact me, please respect my wishes." (Mature way of telling her to not contact you. Most dumpers do not understand why. They want to keep contacting you or will forget you even said this at all.) 3. You tell her straight out that you are hurting and need time to heal. You will contact her when you are okay to be friends. (You telling her that you are still here and a doormat.) 4. You tell her to F off, that she is a conniving *****. (Not very mature, will cause you more headaches in the end. Not worth stooping to her level. Not a good way to end things if you want to reconcile in the future.) Either way. 1 seems like the best choice. Allows you to heal. You cannot push her any further away, because you're not doing anything. You can go from NC to LC when you are ready. As of right now, you are in pain. For your best interest, stick to it. Any contact of any sort is just going to set you back. Unless of course you understand that there is no hope. The longer you hold on to hope, the longer you delay healing. I know all of this from experience and reading other people's threads. All in all, do what's best for you. Put your needs first. Link to comment
lux848 Posted January 28, 2009 Author Share Posted January 28, 2009 thank you all for your comments. yes there's no point for me to email it. you are right, she doesnt deserve anything from me, not even anger. thanks again. Link to comment
and again Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Send it. If she was cheating on you and you were betrayed...send it. Just make sure you are really angry with her and want nothing to do with her again. Yeah, the letter may come accross as immature to a bunch of people on ENA, but she cheated on you and it'll make you feel better to get your emotions out and have her know how much of a disgusting person you think she is. I know where you are comeing from john about sending it, im full of a lot of anger at times over my ex, not through cheating but through how she can of said all the things she said to me i.e. how much she felt for me , how i was the one, allowed me to get close to her children and family. And so wound up that i treated her perfect not like the piss poor ex`s she had had and spent an average of 5 yrs each with, whilst they cheated on her etc, then to walk away after 6months saying that she couldnt deal with a relationship of any sort with any one ever again, whilst i was prepared to take it slow or at any leval because i knew wat she had been through. So im itching to tell her some home truths about how she twisted and played with my head and her children. But i just not going to i want to walk away the good guy and let her maybe regret it in her own way in time. Link to comment
russ978 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 “Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart.” Don't send it. You say all you need to say by forgetting about her, moving on, and living a great life. Link to comment
yumicecream Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 There may or may not be anything to get from it. I mean, if you want to hurt her, you are human and it might feel good. But it might bother you later if you had actual feelings for her. Just don't let one bad woman make you bitter against all women. There are good women out there. Just to warn you: nothing good comes from either sending it or not sending it. There is no immediate cure for what she's done ...you need to accept that the pain is just going to be there. Link to comment
yumicecream Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 “Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart.” Don't send it. You say all you need to say by forgetting about her, moving on, and living a great life. Is that really true? Link to comment
jenny_mcs Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Is this the ex/relationship you wrote this about? So, you cheated on her about 10 times, yet she's the prostitute? I don't get it. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Is this the ex/relationship you wrote this about? So, you cheated on her about 10 times, yet she's the prostitute? I don't get it. I don't get it either...wow. If this is true, then you're right, your relationship WAS totally based on lies, but they were just as much your lies -- perhaps even moreso -- as hers. You need to let go of this and put it behind you. You wronged her (even if she doesn't know it, which actually piles dishonesty on top of infidelity), and she wronged you. Clearly, you aren't good for each other at all. You're both better off without each other. Link to comment
blue69 Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I don't get it either...wow. If this is true, then you're right, your relationship WAS totally based on lies, but they were just as much your lies -- perhaps even moreso -- as hers. You need to let go of this and put it behind you. You wronged her (even if she doesn't know it, which actually piles dishonesty on top of infidelity), and she wronged you. Clearly, you aren't good for each other at all. You're both better off without each other. Wow. Didn't realize you were just as guilty of dishonesty and inappropriate behavior. Talk about a classic case of pot calling the kettle black. You two need to stay away from each other. Two negative forces is not a good sign. Hopefully you will learn something from all this. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.