Had a bad day and took it out on 5 y/o

[Kalika]

Hey all,

I am feeling so bad right now. I was very irritable all day.. just not really wanting to do anything at all, or be in demand.. I just wanted to be selfish and have a day off, but being a parent that never happens.

 

Anyways I have been in a crappy mood all day and my son was annoying me all day today and I feel bad. I was yelling at him all day today it seems like. He keeps doing things over and over that I ask him not to do, thinks it's funny, and drives me overall batty. Other times he just wouldn't give me any space. I was trying to do work on the computer and he kept reaching over and pushing keys on the keyboard, not understanding that it was screwing up what I was trying to do. Now he's also taken to saying that HE can make his OWN decisions, and applies this rule to just about everything I ask him to do.

 

I just feel bad that I didn't want to do ANYTHING with him today. I was so mean. I've been so depressed lately and this isn't helping. I just need some time out but I don't mean to take it out on him.

 

What to do.

[DN]

Try taking a deep breath, getting him ready and taking him to the playground for an hour and playing with him there - let him run off his energy and spend some time with you. Give him the attention he needs and then he may be happy doing something else for a while.

[lost1607307474]

I'm sorry to hear that you've been having such a stressful time lately

We all have bad days and this is totally understandable. Being a parent is hard work, and when you just want to get things done or relax children will still be children to no avail.

You shouldn't feel bad about the way you acted around your son. He needs to understand that when you need time to yourself or time to do your work on the computer that he can't misbehave. But also, perhaps you could explain to him that mummy was having a bad day and apologise to him, and if you have the free time maybe say you'll make it up to him by doing something together? Go to the playground with him, watch a show together, or play together?

[Bunney]

I'm sorry to hear that you've been having such a stressful time lately

We all have bad days and this is totally understandable. Being a parent is hard work, and when you just want to get things done or relax children will still be children to no avail.

You shouldn't feel bad about the way you acted around your son. He needs to understand that when you need time to yourself or time to do your work on the computer that he can't misbehave. But also, perhaps you could explain to him that mummy was having a bad day and apologise to him, and if you have the free time maybe say you'll make it up to him by doing something together? Go to the playground with him, watch a show together, or play together?

 

Totally agree with this!

[Isha]

Give him a cuddle and apologise for yelling at him.

 

I get frustrated with my three year old when he displays the same behaviour (ie sabotaging for attention) and sometimes I get snappy. Really, his behaviour is my cue to take a break and get on the floor to play with him. I ask him how he is feeling. He might say 'I bored', or 'I sad' or even 'I is happy' and it's important that I acknowledge that. I will then present two or three choices of activities we can do together and he will decide on one. I have a time limit that I can take a break for, and remind him when there's five minutes, or two minutes left so he is aware that I need to go back to work. We have fun, reconnect and then I'll give him a big cuddle and calmly explain in age-appropriate language that I need to finish working for such and such reason and that requires me being at the computer. I tell him that I love him, and I'm not ignoring him, but I'm trying to get my work done quickly so that we can make dinner together etc. I ask if he'd like to work next to me so we can chat, and sometimes he will, mostly he won't- choosing instead to find an activity of his own. Whatever he does, he's satisfied with my response beause he feels loved, validated and listened to. It's not over his head. This is regardless of whether they're 2 or 12, although generally the older they get the more understanding they have (hopefully!). We all want to feel listened to.

 

I don't always get it right. Sometimes I'm too tired and cranky to be open with him, and he picks up on that and behaves terribly. My little mantra in these situations is 'Deep breaths, this too shall pass..' because it will. Children understand frustration, and importance of a task when it's presented in a way that they can understand. They have empathy, and will usually want to help in any way they can. Is there anything he can do to help you? Even something simple like helping to tidy your workspace if it needs it.

 

This parenting gig is hard, I know. Can you go and have a soak in the bath? Or even getting a movie to watch together is something that requires no effort, and is relaxing.

 

Hope that helps, and you feel stress-free soon

[thejigsup]

Don't worry, one day soon, he will grow out of this stage and then parenting is really fun for a few years. Until puberty.

[waveseer]

I used to put on music when I needed a lift. We memorized songs together and it took the pressure off us both to hear the familiar tunes over and over.

[sidehop]

At least you can admit to it & like others and myself included those days do happen especially with kids! My g/f for the past few days with so many towns losing power and sometimes with four children in the house she was getting beaten emotionally and physically.

 

I used to put on music when I needed a lift. We memorized songs together and it took the pressure off us both to hear the familiar tunes over and over.

 

It's amazing what music can do and realized after having our daughter I rarely listen to music at home! Now I try to when I get frustrated...and it does make a difference!