upset with myself

[greywolf]

I've been depressed before but I never let it affect my school or my work. I guess you could say I was used to being lonely. It wasn't that big a deal either. I never really related to people that well back then. And I think being busy all the time made me a little happy. It's weird. It's like I had this 'automatic mode' that got me through everything but I've never been able to be like that since my ex and I got together.

 

I try to keep busy, but I get distracted all the time. Lately, I'd rather watch tv with my roommate that barely talks to me than sit down and do my homework, and I don't even really like watching tv that much.

 

Now I'm just so upset with myself that I've let myself slack off so much. I've never had problems with concentration before so it just really kills me. I've always been the type of person that could sit down for hours and do something if I put my mind to it.

 

I woke up today at 1:00. Ughh It just makes me so mad at myself that I'm letting myself become a lazy bum.

 

Sometimes I wonder if I should move back in with my parents. I don't feel like I ever slacked off this much when I lived with them. On the other hand, I moved out because I felt like I couldn't stand them anymore.

[Cognitive_Canine]

These times happen. Everyone goes through a cycle of laziness followed by self improvement.

 

I think this is good because it, if you attack it now, will lead to self improvement and make you better yourself. Maybe even better yourself more than you were before this trough of the motivation function. You can easily turn this around and reach a new high.

 

I know it's near the end of the semester and you are really kicking yourself. But, I don't think moving back in with your parents will motivate you in the long run.

 

Stay in there, girl.

[hers]

What year are you in in school?

 

When I was in school, I struggled greatly with apathy and lack of motivation. It got really bad by the last year of college. It's called "senioritis".

 

You will get through it. You just have to not focus so much on what you're not doing and reward yourself when you do what you need to nbe doing.

[greywolf]

What year are you in in school?

 

When I was in school, I struggled greatly with apathy and lack of motivation. It got really bad by the last year of college. It's called "senioritis".

 

You will get through it. You just have to not focus so much on what you're not doing and reward yourself when you do what you need to nbe doing.

 

I don't know what year I'm in right now. hehe

I'm in a community college so I just have to take classes when I can. I think part of my problem is that I don't know what I'm doing right now. I've already applied for the nursing program but that's 2 years away. So now I have 2 years of time to fill and I'm not quite sure what to do with it.

This semester I was taking math classes because I think that someday I might want to get into biology and this is the semester that I'm failing my classes!

I've never failed classes before. It makes me so upset. heheh

 

I think maybe I just don't know what I want for the future anymore (i had it all mapped out with when my ex and i were together), so I have trouble caring about the present.

[hers]

Apathy is common after breakups, but don't let it be a self-destructive trait. Let your apathy (which at times for me is synonymous with laziness but the good kind) work for you. Use this time to relax and reflect on what you want to do and who yu want to be. You don't have to figure everything out right now. Take it one day at a time. Tell yourself you'll study for an hour. If that doesn't kill you, go for another half hour and keep going like that.

[greywolf]

thanks DW and hersmudders.

 

Sometimes I also feel like I'm getting old and there's no end of school in sight. hehehe I'm probably going to be 30 by the time I graduate.

[hers]

If you are 30 by the time you graduate, what does it matter? I graduated at 23 and I'm not using one ounce of my degree. I desperately want to go back to school for something I care about, but I finished with my major b/c I thought I needed to join the rat race. Don't be so hard on yourself. Better you graduate late and find something you really want to do instead of graduating soon and not being happy. Besides, with as bad as the job market is right now, be glad you don't have to be out in that.

[lostandhurt]

Grey,

I see your frustration with yourself but it is unfounded. You have been through so much and your heart is so much more open than it has ever been which will cause you to be more sensitive to everything. I don't think you were going to school for your ex were you? Absolutely not! The problem is you have lost sight of the carrot and you don't know which way to turn to find it again. Staying motivated during school often requires a dream to follow. Going to school just to be doing something is a recipe for bad grades. I know how smart you are and how you can apply yourself.

 

I think you lost a little of yourself when you two broke up. You will make a life for yourself and one day you meet that special someone to share it with. Maybe it is time to look deep inside and figure out what it is that you really want. What interests you the most? Is it nursing? Is it singing? There are many paths for you to follow but you have to want to walk down them. If you have to be pushed it will be full of regrets and second thoughts.

 

Don't be so hard on yourself over failing. If you had tried your hardest and then failed it would be one thing but you didn't and you can't undo it. You can retake the class and do the best you can and get a great grade. This is just a little slide in your study habits and faith of what will become of you.

 

If you are struggling to survive and it affects your grades perhaps home is where you should be. But if you want to go home to just make it easier on you I would say no.

 

You are so talented I know you can do what you truly want to do.

 

lost

[Aviatormy]

Hello there buddy.

 

Well here is my advice. Whether it be a break up that causes a lack of motivation, stress at work or family issues, I try my best to keep busy.

 

One method that I have found that works well for me is, whenever I feel lazy and or depressed, I take a long hot shower to wake myself up. Even if I had already taken one that morning. Once I get out of the shower, I get a bit more energy and I am able to do things. I usually follow the shower with an intense workout, cleaning my apartment or going for a drive. In your case I would recommend taking a shower and then throw a load of laundry in. This way you feel busy. While your laundry is washing, start on your schoolwork.

 

The hardest part of keeping busy is getting started. Something about the shower makes me feel like I have something to do because I usually am getting ready for work after my morning shower.

 

Call a friend before you hop in and makes plans to go out and do something. It really helps!

 

That is about all I can advise right now. I know what it is like to get into a phase of boredom. It will soon pass. Just make sure you stay on top of your education.

 

Best wishes!

[greywolf]

I think my problem right now is that I don't really know what I want anymore. There used to be a time when I was fine with just taking things day by day. But now (maybe since I'm older and I feel like life is going by so fast), I really worry about what I want to do.

 

I think I've changed a lot since my relationship. I used to be fine settling for nursing, but now I'm not so sure. I used to see myself as single for the rest of my life, but now I'm not so sure about that either.

[lostandhurt]

Don't be silly! You will not be single for the rest of your life. I know you to well you know. You are just looking at your life a little differently is all. This is a good thing.

 

You know how to reach me

 

lost