Belle Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 I joined this forum 4.5 years ago. And I have since lost much of my youth. I wasted it trying to figure out how to reconcile with 2 of my exes since then. I did all of the following 1- Went to an astrologer for guy #1. 2- Went to a psychic for guy #1. Seriously. I cut said psychic short because I was annoyed that I already knew what a waste of money it was. 3- Obsessed over the guy who brought me here. 4- Pined over both guys for a retarded amount of time. 5- Tried to figure out how to be what they needed me to be. 6- Resented them for sweeping me off my feet then being insincere jerks. 7- Spent a large amount of money after breakup that brought me here. 8- Spent a larger amount of money in the 6 figure range after breakup with the second guy. 9- Went back for seconds with the last guy, only to find out that he truly was a jerk. I truly regret the drama that I allowed some of my exes to create in my life. I regret most of all, my lack of ability to LET THEM GO and move on with my life to make the most of it. I was in my prime during all of this. I could have just about any guy I wanted. Yet, I wallowed in self pity and fear over some stupid guy that wasn't going to work out anyway. I realized that I had it all wrong. People date to see if they want to pursue long term relationships. If it doesn't work out, you cry, dust yourself off and try again. You don't instantly have an intense relationship, it doesn't work out, then you spend the next 6 months to a year crying over spilled milk. It was a huge waste of time. And I wasted my youth on a couple of losers. To anyone who's having a hard time letting go, please don't do this to yourself. There is no Hollywood land where your ex is going to magically get their stuff together and want you back if they dumped you, or be the person you need them to be if you dumped them. If they do, they are the exception that confirms the rule. Link to comment
thejigsup Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 I have always said exactly what you have just posted, only you said it much better. I met the love of my life at the age of 43. Never give up as Age is just a number. You can still live life to the fullest, now get out there and do it! Link to comment
Mending 08 Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Belle, I agree with much of what you said...but I think it's ALWAYS better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all. It's human nature to not wanna fail at a relationship..and to want to keep aking it work.I think it's more the rule than the exception for most people. But it's true...some people beat a dead horse longer than they should. Oh and...if you are not even out of your 30's yet...you have NOT "wasted" your "youth"!!!! Link to comment
yeawutever Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Yea sucks when you invested so much time only to have it thrown away like it was trash. You might never get back your youth but you will become more experienced with a greater level of maturity and not fall for the same mistakes. Link to comment
Belle Posted November 17, 2008 Author Share Posted November 17, 2008 Jig, he he. I'm definitely living these days. I just look back with complete befuddlement that I could waste time on those losers! I just don't want anyone else to do that. Mending, Still in my 30's, but I just stopped looking like I was in my 20's so I'm feeling old. It happened overnight. I have vowed not to waste a minute on any other guy who isn't the one, and to be logically discerning (not emotion driven) about any guy I allow in my life. Ailec, Let's hope I don't make the same mistakes again. It sure took me long enough to figure out what I was getting wrong in teh first place! Link to comment
Mending 08 Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 LOL Belle..I totally understand girl!!! Love and heartbreak can definetely make you feel old and tired..LOL.....but I bet once you meet the right guy, you'll be looking AND feeling 16 again!!!! Link to comment
Belle Posted November 17, 2008 Author Share Posted November 17, 2008 lol. Well 16.... maybe not. But I quit smoking because it has started catching up to me and with a little luck, prescriptions from my dermatologist, and lots of anti oxidants, I'm hoping to at least go back to 27. Link to comment
yeawutever Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Hope everything goes well for you Belle and remember that there's more to life than phonies. Think of it as a small chapter in a large book. Link to comment
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