Angel Whispers - SuperDave71

[SuperDave71]

**Author's Disclaimer**

 

 

I am neither a therapist nor a professional counselor. The following advice is given in a take it or leave it format. The author (me) does not intend for the user (you) to agree 100% with the following but to merely listen with the intent to learn from the author's mistakes. My post will not give false hope to the user but will give the user a possible different way of dealing with their current situation.

 

 

 

 

I wanted to start a new way of thinking but I want you, the reader, to understand I am not trying to make you feel something you don’t nor change your way of thinking about your higher power. We each have the right to think, feel and worship anyway we choose and this post is not in any way trying to influence your personal views or beliefs.

 

Let’s Get Started…

 

 

Angel Whispers

 

 

Your day was one of the longest you’ve ever had. You couldn’t sleep the night before because you were waiting for the phone to ring. You tossed and turned but hardly slept a wink. “Why haven’t they called? They didn’t mean what they said. They can’t be breaking up with me. Three years just thrown away? No way! They love me just as much as I love them. We are just having a bad week”. That bad week turns into two bad weeks then three. The days continue to drag on and on. The phone only rings when you mother calls to check on you. You tend to spiral out of control when you yell at your mom for holding up the telephone line in case they call… Your mother says “Ok..ok…I love” (click) You slam the phone down and tears start to well up and pour down your cheeks silently. You can’t get them out of your head. You heart seems swollen and you find it hard to breathe. You fall to your knees and then to the floor. You haven’t cried like this since you were a child. As you head lays on the carpet, you silently say…”I love you some much…please God, bring them back to me…please….please bring them back to me.”

 

To all my younger readers out there, I want to share some experiences with you that you decide for yourself and make up your own mind your own conclusions but I would like to start with a simple question. Have you ever felt guilty for anything? I know this may sound like an odd question but if you have, for instance, treated someone poorly or maybe even lied to someone you loved in order to “clear” your name, this is exactly what I am referring to. Why did you start to feel guilty? Why now? Why did you do what you did in the first place? I am sure you did what you did in order not to look bad or worse to get away with something you didn’t want someone to know you did. Let’s don’t beat around the bush here. We are human and we all make mistakes. Let me point the finger at myself for a minute. I can remember years ago when I told my girlfriend I didn’t feel well in order to go out with the guys. Instead of me being honest with her, I felt as if I had to lie so she wasn’t upset with me. In retrospect, how ridiculous I was for even thinking such a thing. I should have been honest enough and told her I wanted to go out with my friends and I would see her tomorrow. At the time, I was only thinking of me…not the woman I loved. How selfish eh?

 

In my opinion, we all have a guardian Angel or two that is with you all the time. I don’t care what your religious belief is, I believe Angels are always with us regardless. Someone once told me the reason we feel guilty for the wrongs we’ve done is because our Angels whisper it in our ears and our hearts listen. Though we can’t hear them, our hearts are open and our minds are alert. What does all of this have to do with breaking up or possibly getting back together? Simple, it’s about listening to yourself rather than your heart. We have all been in love and wanted someone back. We remember the way they held us. We can remember the way they kissed and made love to us. We can remember the way they smiled at you and made your heart pump faster and faster. We can remember all the things we want but the truth be told…they are no longer with you. You try to reason to yourself that they still love you and they will come back. Don’t get me wrong, some lovers do come back. Some loves come back because their heart told them to…or was it their heart? Maybe it was as simple as a whisper.

 

How many out there have read post after post, thread after thread wanting to find the title “How to 100% guarantee getting your ex back”? Sad to say, I bet you are still looking. I looked many years ago with no luck because there is no such thread. There is no such book or publication because with human emotions, they change monthly, weekly or even daily. Before we start blaming anyone for a breakup, start taking a deep look at yourself. What could you have done better? Did you ever feel as if you could have treated your partner better or maybe listened a bit more often? When breakups occur and the panic stage is over, the Angels begin to whisper and your mind starts to think back. Have you ever felt guilty after a breakup? Have you ever asked yourself “I should have done this…” or “I never meant to make them feel like they didn’t matter”. It’s guilt. Plain and simple, it is your guilt for not doing better while in the relationship and also it is your mind trying to justify the breakup when there are no answers.

 

Have you ever had anyone tell you to just walk away and leave them alone but you refused and only made the situation worse? Have you ever tried to talk your way back into someone’s heart? Have you ever thought if your partner would only listen that you could convince them that you love them and desperately want them to come back. We have all been there at one time or another. I can remember doing everything I could to try to get my ex back. All I was doing was pushing her further and further away from me. I couldn’t see it. When I failed, I only tried harder. I thought of most everything I could, did most, and failed at everything. I would not listen to what I already knew. I knew that if I kept trying to get her back that I would only fail. People come back because they love you and miss you. They never come back because you told them or convinced them to. I refused to listen to the whispers in my ear. I refused to listen to what I was hearing every single day. I wanted to do it my way because I knew best. In all honesty, if I knew best, I would have never been in this situation. I ended up being exhausted from my efforts and had nothing to show for it except more disappointment and my heart ached more because of it.

 

“Let it go.” I would here this over and over and I just couldn’t. “I love her..I can’t let go!” …”Let her go” it would tell me again. “No!! I will not let her go! I love her and she loves me!” ”Please David, let her go” the whisper would be soft and loving. Though I couldn’t hear a voice, my heart was telling me to let go and my mind followed. It’s wasn’t until I let go that I started to feel better. People have said this over and over but how did I start feeling better you may ask? I started to openly realize I was not all at fault for the breakup. I was not the bad guy I thought I was. I was worthy of love just as much as my ex was. I had my faults. I took the responsibility for my own actions and I forgave myself for things I couldn’t change. I prayed about it and gave it God. If it was good enough for God, it was good enough for anyone. Did I still hurt? Sure I did but this was a different hurt. This hurt came from me and not from just wanting my ex back. I was hurt because I knew I could have been more of a man to her than I was at the time. I was the same man I always was, but sometimes we need something that hurts to motivate us to become better people. To those who have loved and lost, you know exactly where I am coming from.

 

**You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone**

 

Most don’t know what they have until they lose it or it gets up and walks out of your life. For those out there that believe your partner would never leave you because they love you that much, I caution you. These walls are filled with posts and threads about someone just like you, thinking exactly the way you do now and asking questions on how to get their partner back and their whispers are saying “I warned you…I told you not to be so arrogant.”

 

Have you ever thought that maybe the relationship you are so desperately trying to save was nothing more than a dress rehearsal for the next big one coming your way? Most of us will refuse this theory because the last one was so “perfect”. The truth of the matter is, there is no perfect, there is only what you perceive to be perfect. Our own refusal to let go of something we had is what is causing us to hold on tighter. What happens when you hold on to something to tightly? It breaks or it slips right out of our hands.

 

We can only change us. We can’t make anyone love us but we sure can make them NOT love us. I am a firm believer of everything happens for a reason. We may not understand it at the time it happens but down the road we can reflect back and tell ourselves. I get it. I know why this happened now. No one can make you believe, think or feel anything you don’t already believe. You are your own person and can make decisions based off your own feelings. Sadly, despite how much love we have for someone, this does not make them love you more or make them stay with you. All you can do it learn to listen to what they are saying. Not with your ears, but with your heart. Just like Angel whispers, you can’t hear them, but you heart interprets exactly what the right thing to do is.

 

To those who are hurting, to those who are reading my words and possibly feeling a bit better, you will be ok. I know it hurts like hell right now, but I promise you Heaven is standing with you always. Your Angel never leaves you and wants you to know that you will get through this. Stand up and realize you are no quitter and you can start feeling better soon enough. Don’t take my words for it.

 

All it takes is a whisper…

 

 

Your Friend,

 

SuperDave71

[Dani0613]

Wonderful post, Super Dave. Oh wise, Oracle. I have to agree with pretty much everything you've written. I also want to encourage everyone to truly listen to what they're little 'angel' is whispering. It's not enough to hear. Though it sounds cliche, everything does happen as it's supposed to. Perhaps our angel is guiding us in a completely different direction than what we've been following for a very valid reason. But, we need to be open to listening to that voice instead of tuning it out..

[Jay_Bird]

Dave everyday I heal

 

I have came a long way,and your threads,everytime I read them or go back and read your old threads

 

they feel more good to me

 

when your fresh out of a breakup or heartbreak,people can't grasp your threads

 

but your threads are the number thing to recovery

 

I agree with you,you can search every inch of this board,and will never find a sure thing thread,that will get your ex back

 

people are too different

 

the best thing to do is let go and move on

 

superdave God bless you bro,and I agree with you that everyone has an angel that follow us every single day,and warns our hearts about certain things

[pace of ace]

Great post Super Dave, as always.

 

Goodness me i really need to properly start putting this into practice! It's been nearly 9 months and i'm still hanging on, even though i tell myself i'm not.

 

Bless you SD

[SuperDave71]

Most welcome pace..

 

 

Hang in there and stay strong!

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

[pace of ace]

I'm hanging, but most of all i'm hugely frustrated at myself for allowing these feelings to last so long. I read your posts all the time and you are very wise.

 

I especially liked the part in this post when you say

 

"Have you ever had anyone tell you to just walk away and leave them alone but you refused and only made the situation worse? Have you ever tried to talk your way back into someone’s heart? Have you ever thought if your partner would only listen that you could convince them that you love them and desperately want them to come back. We have all been there at one time or another. I can remember doing everything I could to try to get my ex back. All I was doing was pushing her further and further away from me. I couldn’t see it. When I failed, I only tried harder. I thought of most everything I could, did most, and failed at everything. I would not listen to what I already knew. I knew that if I kept trying to get her back that I would only fail."

 

.... there i am in a nutshell!

[SuperDave71]

So by reading this, what have you learned or hope to learn?

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

[pace of ace]

I haven't learnt anything i don't already know, as i've been coming on this site for 9 months now. I'm slowly finding the strength and the realisation of letting go but it's taken time. Like you say, and this rings true for many of us, i know what i have to do, but sometimes i slip up.

 

i've made so many classic mistakes over the past 9 months, which took me a long time to see, and i've completely stopped trying to win her back, yet the thought of not having her in my life still saddens me hugely.

[SuperDave71]

Exactly....

 

Take the analogy of holding onto a wet bar of soap too tightly...

 

What happened? It slips right thought your fingers.

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

[gee]

Dave, GREAT post! I'm better now, but still not 100%..almost there! It's been almost 10months for me. I don't come to "Getting Back Together" forums to get my ex back, but to read what others are going through. ENA has been great to me and am very grateful for it! Your posts are inspirational and I appreciate them! Thanks!

 

gee

[pace of ace]

Indeed. I'm still holding on and there's no point lying to myself about it.

 

If i call my ex she will either not answer or answer and the conversation will be brief, so i think to myself "Stop it man!! Just leave it be" and low and behold, after 3 days she texts or calls, and i always end up answering and keeping it light. But i'm still emotionally attached to her.

 

Alot of healing ahead i feel.

[babes23]

Thanks for that Dave xx

[Jay_Bird]

Indeed. I'm still holding on and there's no point lying to myself about it.

 

If i call my ex she will either not answer or answer and the conversation will be brief, so i think to myself "Stop it man!! Just leave it be" and low and behold, after 3 days she texts or calls, and i always end up answering and keeping it light. But i'm still emotionally attached to her.

 

Alot of healing ahead i feel.

 

I learned a long time ago,you got to be a man

 

if you answer every phone call,you are showing her that you are available

 

and clingy and needy

 

and all your being to her,is something to do or call when she is bored

 

start moving on,before you get hurt

 

don't mess up like I did,by being needy and stopping everything I did when she calls

[chiyork]

Thanks Dave. Great post.

[HereIGoAgain]

Great post SuperDave! You always post something pertinant when I'm having difficulty getting over the split with my ex, today especially.

[OrangeMoon]

Nice posts like this one sometimes need to bumped up again...

[SuperDave71]

Thanks Gee....sorry for the delay in thanking you.

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

[ladyjp]

Dave,

 

I have posted, read posts, and like you mentioned , looked for the 100% guarantee- we know does not exist. Your advice last week helped immensely but I can tell you NOTHING has helped more that the faith I hold in my heart everyday. Without faith, for me, nothing is real or possible. With it, I know I am not in this alone and am able to offer up to a higher power and know it is being handled by those guardian angles Thus moving onto do more positive things.

 

Thanks for putting this one out there so we can all remember we don't have to control or handle it all alone.

[SuperDave71]

You are most welcome jfpieron.

 

 

-SuperDave71

[SuperDave71]

Excellent advice jaybird. I don't know how I missed that before but I could not agree more.

 

 

-SuperDave71

[Snowy]

Bumping!!!

[Fossil]

From all the threads that I've read, from all the topics that I've searched, this particular post gets me in a state of mind to pass through each day. I wake at 1 or 3 or 5am and I quickly jump out of bed because I know my mind will go crazy thinking about her. I take a shower, I put my clothes on and go to work. I put my headphones on, start "Phil Collins - I wish it would rain down" and read this message. Each and every day.

 

Thank you SuperDave!

[Streetbob]

In my opinion one of the biggest steps to recovery is changing the mindset from "hope" to "acceptance".

 

Most people in the first stages of NC have the hope that the ex is going to call or rethink things. A forlorn hope that NC will tip the balance and bring them back.

 

When the mindset changes to "I accept that the relationship is over" and NC is the best thing for me, life suddenly becomes a lot easier.

 

It takes time and work to make the step but everybody gets there.

[Moggs]

In my opinion one of the biggest steps to recovery is changing the mindset from "hope" to "acceptance".

 

Most people in the first stages of NC have the hope that the ex is going to call or rethink things. A forlorn hope that NC will tip the balance and bring them back.

 

When the mindset changes to "I accept that the relationship is over" and NC is the best thing for me, life suddenly becomes a lot easier.

 

It takes time and work to make the step but everybody gets there.

 

Agree totally streetbob, your posts, as well as SD71 and SC67 really have helped me so much, I will continue to 'bump' them because all the new readers on here, searching for answers and who are in the same pain I was when finding this site, searching for some kind of relief.... need to see them, thanks so much xx

[Streetbob]

Agree totally streetbob, your posts, as well as SD71 and SC67 really have helped me so much, I will continue to 'bump' them because all the new readers on here, searching for answers and who are in the same pain I was when finding this site, searching for some kind of relief.... need to see them, thanks so much xx

 

Hey Moggs!

 

Thanks for that.

 

When you experience that heartbreaking pain yourself, you somehow hope that you can can help others by writing about it.

 

Take care!

 

SB