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How can I be this messed up after a 5 month relationship?


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I feel like that five months was five years. I was thrown through the emotional ringer throughout it all. I was drained the entire time. Lots of drama. Lots of compromise on my end. It's been over a month since the break, and by now you think I would be making progress. I mean, c'mon, it was only five months. If any of you have read my other threads, you'll know the background on the situation.

 

I live in a small town. I am TERRIFIED that I will run into her. Today I was at a convenience store getting coffee and I found myself looking over my shoulder. Then I'm looking at the gas pumps. I can't even go to Wal-Mart without scanning the parking lot first. I've given up on going out with my friends on weekends because I will know that she'll be there with her new boyfriend. My gorgeous ex is happy with someone else, and I'm the loser who is afraid to even see her driving down the road. At first I played the "Screw her! I'm going out." card. Now I can't even walk into a bar without scanning the place every five minutes. I won't go out this weekend because I know she'll be out. The chance of seeing her is keeping me in my house. I've been solid NC for almost a month, tonight I lapsed and looked at her myspace. Dumb move.

 

It was only five months at the max, much of which was drama-ville. How can I be this screwed up over something that short and wasn't even that healthy to begin with? All this time I've been placing the blame on her. Am I the one with issues?

 

I've never felt this about anyone else. I'd rather be dead than feel this.

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I can relate to what you're saying. I had a 5 week affair with someone and after we broke up i feel the same way about him as you do about your girl of 5 months.

 

The time you have spent with that someone special means a lot and it doesnt matter whether its 5 years, 5 months or 5 years.

 

I think not wanting to see her and scanning places isnt all that bad. After all i've been doing a similar thing and avoiding places i know he hangs out at.

 

A month isnt a long time to get over someone you love.

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I can relate to what you're saying. I had a 5 week affair with someone and after we broke up i feel the same way about him as you do about your girl of 5 months.

 

The time you have spent with that someone special means a lot and it doesnt matter whether its 5 years, 5 months or 5 years.

 

I think not wanting to see her and scanning places isnt all that bad. After all i've been doing a similar thing and avoiding places i know he hangs out at.

 

A month isnt a long time to get over someone you love.

 

Yeah, a month isn't that long, but with a relationship that lasted as long as the warm weather, you would think that I would be interested in dating, or going out or carrying on as normal, but I'm still stuck in the "I'll never find anyone funnier or prettier" rut in spite of all the crap that happened throughout the relationship. I feel like all of that negative crap is hitting me after the break-up. It's almost as if I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

 

My last serious break-up, which was a 2 year relationship, I never resorted to talking to strangers on the internet, and I loved her dearly. I just dealt with it and moved on. She also lived an hour away, so didn't have to worry about bumping into her, except holidays. This most recent ex is a new animal to me.

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Take your time to get over her. It is not something which is going to happen in an eye-blink. If you are not strong enough to stay in your own hometown, is there anyone whom you can stay with for a certain time? Maybe with some friends or relatives?

 

If you can't even go out without feeling paranoid about bumping into her, then this is perhaps your best alternative for a little while and it would help you to become stronger too. However, it is not a permanent solution.

 

The permanent solution is: let time heal you as time passes by. In time to come, you will see that it becomes easier.

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Hey there

I'm in the exact same place as you, 5 month relationship, and the worts part? he lives 4 buildings away! can you believe I've managed to avoid him and maintain no contact for 4 weeks? and let me tell you, I'm feeling as bad as I did at first, I'm completely devastated. I still love him after he just walked out on me for no reason what so ever! after he told me he loves me every day for a month before just disappearing...

I go out of my flat with my dog 3-4 times a day and each time I'm terrified I'll see him. Always looking to see if he's out with his dog. It is an absolute nightmare and I'm worried it will cause me to stay in this limbo for a long while. All I want is to get over it, let it go, give up hope and be able to walk in my neighborhood with a quiet mind and a happy face like I used to! It is just so frustrating and I can completely understand you. I also have been saying to myself that it was only 5 months and that after 4 weeks I should be over him, but I still wake up every morning with the racing heart, still cry my heart out, I just don't know when it will get better but I'm waiting. It is so frustrating and I'm so sick of it I feel I just want to screammmm!!! Knowing he is so close and not being able to do a thing about it..

Guess we have to be super strong and try to take it one day at a time until we're over it. I wish for you and me that we'll be able to just feel like normal again without the heartache and be able to walk around where ever we want without a care in the world.

Stay strong, I totally feel you

Lee

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All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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