we just had it out....

[littlemissh]

well...

it started off simple enough... about not texting each other back. he texted me and i texted him back and then he didn't respond... until the next morning. and i didn't write him back, and then he got mad at me back saying that i should write him back when he writes and says sorry for not writing back. silly, right? I know... i feel like i'm in high school all over again. then last night he again said he was sorry for not writing back and i just said... no you're not. and this morning he wrote me and said he WAS sorry despite what my condescending text said.

i told him that it takes 2 seconds to write someone back that there is no excuse. then he came out and told me that he didn't write me back cause he was with her and it would have caused problems. i asked why... and he said, duh, cause she knows how hung up i was on you. he told me that some women don't have the gift of not giving a * * * * , or at least acting like they don't give a * * * * , unlike me... and that was one thing about me that he couldn't stand.

this, my friends, is where i lost my cool.

i told him that jealousy does not equal love. then i said that i didn't know what she was worried about that a rebound is a GREAT foundation to build a relationship on.

then he told me to stop being sarcastic,

and then we really got into it, and i told him that he likes to play the safe hands that he is where it is convenient and safe and easy. he said that he couldn't believe that i was saying this and why didn't i show him more love when we were together.

and then he asked me what i knew about love, and i said that i didn't know, that maybe he should tell me since he fell in love so quickly and often.

he told me that i didn't know who he loved or how he felt. so now he said that he needs to cool off, that i said some things that really bothered him.

did i really mess up, or is this good?

i mean, we have been so good for the past 6 weeks, everything going dandy, but it was really starting to tick me off that he was flirting with me every day and telling me how much he misses me and how awesome i am, but essentially still having his allegiance with her. please help me. i still haven't had "the talk" with him about wanting to get back together.

[HeartGoesOn]

I'm not sure who you mean by "her." But if he's saying he was with another girl, and couldn't contact you for that reason, why are you even talking to him?

[Mandoro]

Well you better get your punches in while you can because there is another thread on here bringing male abuse into the light =P

 

Anyway, what was it that caused yall to keep in contact after yall broke up? Generally people tend to not talk after something like that goes down. I think that not talking to each other anymore is really all you can do. It gives both of you time to reflect upon what you had, learn from it, and move on (or in some cases try again).

[littlemissh]

haha! i will take a swing or two... just kidding.

 

ok... a quick sum up of the situation is....

we were together, i left (due to commitment issues) we were in my enforced NC for almost 2 months... i came back (cause i was ready then) and we started hanging out again and after a couple of weeks he told me that he had in the NC time started seeing a coworker that was his shoulder to cry on. clearly a rebound... and he kind of admits it... he said that she made him feel better after the blow i had given him.

soooo.... we started contact again... we talk every day (he starts it always) and he flirts and says how much he misses me, but says that he can't take the chance of me leaving again, and she is safe. but i haven't really brought up that i want to get back together.

and i can't really avoid him totally due to the fact that he also moved in with MY friends. but i really do love him.

and i know he still loves me.

[HeartGoesOn]

I'm sure he does know that you'd like to get back together.

 

But, since he's now with someone else, you need to take a step back. You're not showing any self-respect for yourself by chasing him, and in turn, how can he respect you right now?

 

Hard as it may be, I would try to avoid him, if he decides to come back, that has to be by his own doing, and not by you trying to stay in the picture.

 

Wishing you the best...

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I'm sure he does know that you'd like to get back together.

 

But, since he's now with someone else, you need to take a step back. You're not showing any self-respect for yourself by chasing him, and in turn, how can he respect you right now?

 

Hard as it may be, I would try to avoid him, if he decides to come back, that has to be by his own doing, and not by you trying to stay in the picture.

 

Wishing you the best...

 

I totally agree. It doesn't matter that she is a rebound..what he is doing is unfair to both you AND her. Time for you to back off and resume NC. He needs to decide if he is going to stick with the new one or get back together with you. Only he can decide. You made the decision to leave him and now you have to accept the consequences. Leave him alone and let him sort out what he wants. You should not get in the way of his new relationship..that decision has to be made because he has thought things over.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

Things are not going dandy for you if he has a new girlfriend and is still with her and telling you he doesn't trust you and is sticking with her because he does trust her.

 

As long as he has a girlfriend, you are at best in a FWB situation with him if you are sleeping with him, and if you're not sleeping with him, then you are just a friend. You can't ignore the new girlfriend, and he certainly isn't ignoring her.