goodguy81 Posted October 15, 2008 Author Share Posted October 15, 2008 i dont know if its because i have such a HECTIC week but i havent thought about calling the last day or two..actually got 2 calls today from her but didnt pick up OR HAVE THE URGE TO CALL BACK i hope this continues Link to comment
Scoe141 Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 Way to go man. Glad to see things are taking a turn for the better. However, I don't want to rain on your current parade, but please be careful with this new girl. I would be completely honest with her, and let her know whats going on. She certainly doesnt want to feel like the rebound, and you certainly dont want to be calling this new girl any different names in the bedroom. (of course thats a stretch, Im sure you wouldnt be making any drastic moves this soon in... but you get my point.) Trust me from experience, it will help you two out BETTER in the long run. Link to comment
goodguy81 Posted October 16, 2008 Author Share Posted October 16, 2008 ehh not overly optimistic about the new girl..left a vm last night..didnt get a call back..its the first time i called since we had our date since she had exams on wed and i had a busy week..hopefully she gets back to me also, i have no urge to get back with my ex right now..it would be nice to hear her voice..but im dying waking up thinking about her like before..hopefully it lasts this time but who knows when it comes to the healing process im startng to feel numb to her again..starting to see with my eyes what she really pulled and hows treating me and realizing there are girls out there would treat me a WHOLE lot better than she has recently my new thing is trying to figure out how to meet new ppl (not necessarily dates) and expand my network Link to comment
Scoe141 Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 Yea man, Im going through a break up myself. I still talk to my ex every day. Its hard dude, really hard. Why do we talk? Probably because we both love each other still and are both stubborn, that no ones want to end the communication. I certainly admire you though for your efforts. As for you and dating, you can try online dating sites like, e-harmony one of those. I did it several years ago and it was fun. Met some cool people. Check this out, I pulled it from another thread... I havent read it- but I will and it might help: link removed IM/PM or respond here if you ever need anything. Hope youre well. Link to comment
Scoe141 Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 Also, you know what might help? Ive often thought of this myself. Make a list of all negative things your ex did to you. Write it all down. Then every once in a while when you want to talk with her, or reminisce READ the list. Should make you feel better... in theory. Link to comment
goodguy81 Posted October 16, 2008 Author Share Posted October 16, 2008 i did that when we first broke up..i actually wrapped my cell phone in that piece of paper so i would see it everytime i used my phone..was very empowering..until i lost my list Link to comment
Scoe141 Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 i did that when we first broke up..i actually wrapped my cell phone in that piece of paper so i would see it everytime i used my phone..was very empowering..until i lost my list Poor list.... Make a new one, duct tape that thing around it next time! Link to comment
testcase Posted October 16, 2008 Share Posted October 16, 2008 Heck yea man this is good to hear. I know I have been following your story for some time and you have gone threw a lot of s...tuff. Just go ahead put her outta your mind and enjoy your new found freedom. I know you haven't been single for a good while... have some fun with it. Link to comment
goodguy81 Posted October 16, 2008 Author Share Posted October 16, 2008 thanks man and i really do appreciate all the help along the way..you have definitely made some good contributions to my posts (even though i didnt listen always) i feel like im regaining myself here..its pretty crazy how i feel like it was like one day i woke up and was comfortable with what happened..i think the last few events just totally made me not care..the back and forth.the pictures..how i was being treated..the date i went on and realizing whats out there..all of it made me realize there is some hope plus another thing that happened was my friends cousin just passed away from a freak accident (fell in the shower and cracked his head) just a day after i hung out with him..made me REALLY think about life and how we should enjoy it as much as we can because we arent guarnteed anything so y go through it miserable..i was literally causing misery on myself everyday and hurting myself everyday until i realize enough was enough i haevnt been calling or wanting to call..i think the not picking up on her part really drove me crazy at times..so now if i dont call..nothing to be driven crazy about Link to comment
Scoe141 Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 plus another thing that happened was my friends cousin just passed away from a freak accident (fell in the shower and cracked his head) just a day after i hung out with him..made me REALLY think about life and how we should enjoy it as much as we can because we arent guarnteed anything so y go through it miserable.. Oh my, sorry to hear that. :sad: You are right about life being too short. Someone wise once told me, "Move on...it's usually for the best. There are women out there who are looking for a man like you. Find one. Life is too short to grow old with an ass." Its true, why sell yourself short? I think its apparent, and I'm sure most people here can agree with me, that you are a good guy and can offer some lucky girl the world. In return, being treated right and unconditional love. Just be patient. It'll happen. And when it does, you'll smile. Remember, at night you have to go to bed with your feelings. Sure, you might have someone next to you. But its how YOU feel that should matter. No one is going to have those feelings, other then yourself. You might as well be content with them. Keep us posted. Link to comment
goodguy81 Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 yea im starting becoming really happy with where im at in life right now..at least in terms of career wise and my relationship with my family..but obviously want to make some improvements..i want to become more well rounded..prob gonna take some spanish classes and start working out again as far as the girl..she called again last night..left me a vm saying shes surprised i didnt call this week, especially after our fav football team lost this weekend (we used to talk about the games even after we broke up)..and that she hopes im doing well and to call her if i ever want to talk to her agian by the way thanks everyone for the encouraging words Link to comment
Scoe141 Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 She def. feels guilty. And thats fine. Tell her you saw the score on ESPN. But youre doing great man. Hang in there. Link to comment
goodguy81 Posted October 18, 2008 Author Share Posted October 18, 2008 she called again yest..should i call back..not to even reconcile but just to let her know im doing well and am not being scared to talk to her? thoughts? Link to comment
spion_kop Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 goodguy, do what you think is best for yourself, not what impacts her. Sometimes you have to be selfish Link to comment
Scoe141 Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 Exactly what spion kop says. Think of it this way. If you can picture her with another and have no emotion attached to it, then call her back and tell her your fine. If you cant, then call her anyway and say, "look Maryjane or Matilda (whatever her name is), I appreciate your interest and concern for my feelings, but Im fine. Im healing. This separation tore me up. Im coping, have a lot of support from my boys, "spion_kop, scoe, ryan200, etc. I need to not communicate with you in anyway for a while. Its the only way Im going to heal. I'll contact you when Im ready." And thats that. If she persists, then let her have it. But until then, youll both know where you stand. Hope this helps man. Link to comment
goodguy81 Posted October 20, 2008 Author Share Posted October 20, 2008 spoke to her on sunday..i was actually attending a wedding that was down the block from where our wedding was supposed to be..she said she was happy to hear from me yadda..made small talk for a few minutes to catch up she said new guy isnt serious..asked if i was dating anyone..i said not at the moment..been too busy..talked about family etc..she told me about her new apt..that shes trying to get her life back on track and out of debt..etc did not feel the sadness i used to feel when i used to get off the phone..actually started to feel indifferent lately i also received a text today asking if i could loan her money as a friend...havent responded..will respond tonight saying no i have to admit yesterday was tough at the wdding given 80% of my friends there were couples/married so i missed having someone at these events..but i went out there and had fun..one girl was actually SUPER into me and gave me her number and kept on dragging me away to go dance or grab a drink..i just wasnt attracted to her even though she was cool Link to comment
diamond78 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 i also received a text today asking if i could loan her money as a friend...havent responded..will respond tonight saying no Wow.... How inconsiderate to ask for money from someone you've just recently dumped and took through the wringer!!...This woman has NO shame. Link to comment
Scoe141 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Wow.... How inconsiderate to ask for money from someone you've just recently dumped and took through the wringer!!...This woman has NO shame. SERIOUSLY DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT lend her money. Tell her to go the bank for a loan. Youre not Fannie Mae. Link to comment
goodguy81 Posted October 22, 2008 Author Share Posted October 22, 2008 ugh feelin a little sad today..more out of lonliness more than anything..i feel sick and my ex used to be the most caring when i was sick..i actually ended up textin her that im thinking bout her ugh waht a slip up Link to comment
goodguy81 Posted October 22, 2008 Author Share Posted October 22, 2008 ahh i feel like i took a step back today..just want to hear her voice..not necessarily be with her but want her to want to talk to me if that makes sense Link to comment
Scoe141 Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 Dude it's normal... don't worry about the small regression. It happens to all of us. It's apart of the healing process. How you feeling? Link to comment
goodguy81 Posted October 22, 2008 Author Share Posted October 22, 2008 feeling a little better..just lonely also may have to do with the new girl i liked hasnt called me back so that is prob no longer a prospect Link to comment
atlanticstar Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 I totally understand the loneliness bit. How long has it been? I had that problem the first 10 days or so. You will get there, soldier on matey. The other girl might be busy or whatever, just see what happens. She might text you back so play it cool. It's been 5 weeks and two days for me today and I'm feeling fabulous tonight. I'm not even thinking about my ex right now and I suspect she's tucked up in bed with the old FWB. I don't even give a hoot anymore. I have so much to give, he doesn't and that's what she's chosen, so let her have it! I have no doubt she'll come crawling back at some point when the first big bump in the road appears, but I've decided I don't want the lying piece of vermin back (hopefully that's not all the beer talking). I've been down the gym, sauna, sunbed, had a long session on grand theft auto this evening, a long soak in the bath with loud music and now I'm relaxing with a beer, mtv dance with the TV cranked up nice and loud. Ah... welcome home to the single life again! Yaaaaayyyy! I'm happy to have got to this stage so quickly. I think the articles & support from the site has been a MASSIVE help. I'll probably feel like crap in the morning but tonight I'm feeling pretty damb good! Link to comment
goodguy81 Posted October 23, 2008 Author Share Posted October 23, 2008 wow a crazy twist of events..as i mentioned im sick so i stayed home from work today..i get a call this morning from my ex telling me that she was sick yesterday and sleeping all day blah blah...her job is 5 minutes from my house..she asked if i wanted to do lunch..so i accepted just to catch up..i had NO intention of asking to get back together or anything of the sort honestly....so we grab lunch and are just bsing about whats going on with each others family/friends etc..so then SHE switches topics to us saying that she really misses me and all the fun things we did blah blah..that she doesnt know how to break it off with the new dude because shes not over me but feels bad because she is the first good thing that came into his life etc..and that he is too into her blah blah..and asks me for a hug and kiss i was shocked..i really dont think i can do it tho Link to comment
Mayday11 Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 She's doing things backwards. She needs to completely break it off with the other guy and then start contacting you. Anything else is meaningless. You should know this by now. Link to comment
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