ryan2000 Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 i know what you mean. I feel good about myself for about an hour and then shut it down, for whatever reason. I can't offer you any words of advice mate, i'd be a hypocrit if i did because i am struggling myself. But all i can say is just Vent here as much as you need to. I feel safe on this site, like nobody is going to judge me or, more importantly, hurt me. It's the safest i have felt in a long time. Link to comment
goodguy81 Posted October 9, 2008 Author Share Posted October 9, 2008 i agree..i do feel good venting here..i hate to vent to my friends now because im sure they are sick of hearing about it or think im being dumb at this point and get frustrated telling me the same thing over and over Link to comment
ryan2000 Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 TOTALLY. My friends are there for me. But of course they would be sick of hearing it! And i can totally understand. One of my friends is so angry at me right now becuase of how down on myself i am. She thinks the world of me and is so upset that i hate myself. So it's hard for me to she her at the moment. But i'll get there. With help from forums like this place. Link to comment
Fireman Sam Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 Hey Ryan, How old are you...and your ex? I recommend you read a book called "divorce remedy". You can apply any of the principals to a non-marrage relationship. You can get if form most bookshops for about $14 in the self-help/relationship section. If you have any chance of getting back with your ex...this is the best strategy to use. If it's not ment to be...then nothing is going to bring you guys back together...but if you are ment to be...then this approach is the best way to go. Please let me know if you have any questions and I'd be glad to help out. Simon Link to comment
ryan2000 Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 I'm 28, she's 27. We met when we were 14/15. As young as that sounds, we did grow up apart for a while. Spending some 6months of the year away from each other. We were (and in some ways still are) best of friends. Which is what makes this so bloody hard. Link to comment
goodguy81 Posted October 10, 2008 Author Share Posted October 10, 2008 damn ryan i feel your pain..me and my ex were friends since 15..started dating at 17..im 27 now Link to comment
ryan2000 Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 damn ryan i feel your pain..me and my ex were friends since 15..started dating at 17..im 27 now We are alot alike. I've had a shocking day. Just found pictures from our engagement party. Have been trying to extinguish all thoughts that are rushing through my head that have to do with breaking the NC rule. I just want to see her. I just want to tell her how much i love her and miss her. Link to comment
goodguy81 Posted October 10, 2008 Author Share Posted October 10, 2008 We are alot alike. I've had a shocking day. Just found pictures from our engagement party. Have been trying to extinguish all thoughts that are rushing through my head that have to do with breaking the NC rule. I just want to see her. I just want to tell her how much i love her and miss her. im in the same boat man..im so tempted to call this morning Link to comment
goodguy81 Posted October 10, 2008 Author Share Posted October 10, 2008 just got 2 calls and a voicemail askign how im doing and if i wanted to chat..if not i hope you have a nice weekend what should i do Link to comment
ryan2000 Posted October 11, 2008 Share Posted October 11, 2008 what do you feel like doing? I know i'd probably wanna call her, not sure if it's the right thing to do or not though. It's been 11 days since i had any contact with my ex, and she hasn't tried to contact me once. Which hurts. Link to comment
goodguy81 Posted October 11, 2008 Author Share Posted October 11, 2008 i didnt call..tempted to but didnt Link to comment
ryan2000 Posted October 11, 2008 Share Posted October 11, 2008 Well, good for you.......... i think......... I don't know. I'm still clinging to hope that my ex will magically call me any day now. I wont give in......... but who knows what my heart is thinking......... geez he pisses me off sometimes. He has a mind of his own, and it overpowers me quite easily. Well, my bottle is almost empty, which means that pretty soon it's sleep time. Here i go again, preparing myself for yet another day! Link to comment
goodguy81 Posted October 11, 2008 Author Share Posted October 11, 2008 weekends are the hardest..ugh i had another dream about her and want to call Link to comment
starlight40 Posted October 11, 2008 Share Posted October 11, 2008 weekends are the hardest..ugh i had another dream about her and want to call Hey there goodguy, ive been through a recent break up so i know what your going through. I think youve done well not to call her, good for you. I too find weekends the worst because its when we used to spend most of our time together, its been 5 months since mine now though so i can tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. It does get better, when you feel ready get yourself out there with your friends, im out every weekencd and i have an absolute blast! Be strong and just rememeber that the way your feeling at the moment doesnt last forever xx Link to comment
goodguy81 Posted October 11, 2008 Author Share Posted October 11, 2008 im weak i broke and left a vm..it wasnt a gushy one tho it was basically..hey im just calling you back because i didnt want to be rude..you can call me if you want to chat or if u dont want to talk again thats fine Link to comment
starlight40 Posted October 11, 2008 Share Posted October 11, 2008 im weak i broke and left a vm..it wasnt a gushy one tho it was basically..hey im just calling you back because i didnt want to be rude..you can call me if you want to chat or if u dont want to talk again thats fine your not weak your just hurt, i never truly managed NC until now and thats 5 months on so beat yourself up ok. Link to comment
goodguy81 Posted October 12, 2008 Author Share Posted October 12, 2008 damn im a mess again found out that shes pretty much moving in with the guy..her sis got a new apt and hes renting above her so its guaranteed shes prob moving in im torn apart saw pictures of them kissing in their new place also, i feel like im destined to be alone or settle all my friends are out today with their wife/gf/whatever..none of my close friends are around to talk to Link to comment
ryan2000 Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 DAMN. Yeah....... that just ripped my hear out too mate, and i don't even know you. OK. Before you really let yourself fall into a pit of depression, think of it this way............. At least now you know that getting back together is just not-an-option. It's tough to accept (hell, even i'm having problems with that at the moment), but if she's moving in with somebody then that says it all. It's hypocritical for me to say that, and i know i'll have to face that very situation soon enough too......... but in reality, it's all you can do right now. Man, this is tough. We're both in the same position, except you seem to be a few months ahead of me. It's like i'm looking into the future through you! Link to comment
ryan2000 Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 Dude, where did you see these pictures? Link to comment
spion_kop Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 yea man, where are u seeing these pics. You should try not seeing those pics as they will hold you back from healing Link to comment
goodguy81 Posted October 13, 2008 Author Share Posted October 13, 2008 my space...our shutterfly account, etc Link to comment
goodguy81 Posted October 13, 2008 Author Share Posted October 13, 2008 this sucks...im majorly depressed and feel crazy..cant focus on anything the only upside i had to this whole weekend was i went out on a "date" with a friend of a friend..and she is honestly amazing...possessed most qualities i look for in a girl...i just dont know how to approach this situation..its the first date ive went on that I actually feel a little something for the other person but i dont want to blow that..so i dont know what to do about that situation either im so confused in life ughhhh Link to comment
ryan2000 Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 this sucks...im majorly depressed and feel crazy..cant focus on anything the only upside i had to this whole weekend was i went out on a "date" with a friend of a friend..and she is honestly amazing...possessed most qualities i look for in a girl...i just dont know how to approach this situation..its the first date ive went on that I actually feel a little something for the other person but i dont want to blow that..so i dont know what to do about that situation either im so confused in life ughhhh Perhaps your scared of actually moving on? Here's the thing, you've met somebody who is nice to you, treats you well and makes you feel good about yourself and you like them. THAT'S A POSITIVE SITUATION RIGHT THERE! Congrats mate. A positive situation is probably exactly what you need right now. Link to comment
goodguy81 Posted October 13, 2008 Author Share Posted October 13, 2008 Perhaps your scared of actually moving on? Here's the thing, you've met somebody who is nice to you, treats you well and makes you feel good about yourself and you like them. THAT'S A POSITIVE SITUATION RIGHT THERE! Congrats mate. A positive situation is probably exactly what you need right now. lol i wouldnt go that far...i dont know if she likes me yet as much as people say that its not right to get involved with someone to get over someone else, i think it definitely helps..i think part of my pain is that my ego was hurt by the fact that she moved on so quick and is supposedly happy while im just sittin here with no prospects..ive gone on a few dates since the breakup but this is the first girl that made me see that there is hope..she has a ton of qualities so far that my ex didnt have and that i want in a girl..so im going to cross my fingers..i just dont know how this dating stuff works lol..i was in my relationship for so long i never really experienced it Link to comment
ryan2000 Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 lol i wouldnt go that far...i dont know if she likes me yet as much as people say that its not right to get involved with someone to get over someone else, i think it definitely helps..i think part of my pain is that my ego was hurt by the fact that she moved on so quick and is supposedly happy while im just sittin here with no prospects..ive gone on a few dates since the breakup but this is the first girl that made me see that there is hope..she has a ton of qualities so far that my ex didnt have and that i want in a girl..so im going to cross my fingers..i just dont know how this dating stuff works lol..i was in my relationship for so long i never really experienced it Same mate! Same.......... i have zero knowledge of the dating scene. I wouldn't know what the hell to do. But, if you had fun with this girl the other night, would it be so bad to see her again? Hell, if it's bringing a smile to your face then it can't be bad at all, surely. Maybe you feel guilty? I could understand that. Or maybe your scared that you might stop feeling so in love with your ex if you do move on. I could understand that too. Either way, she's probably not really that concerned about you at the moment if she's with this new guy. I'm not saying move on.......... but i'm saying that if yoru enjoying spending time with this girl, well - that surely can't be a bad thing. Link to comment
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