So I met a girl and now I need advice

[killingjoke]

Okay, so I was at a restaurant. Saw a pretty girl, and I asked the waitress (whom I know very well because I go into this restaurant multiple times a week) to get the scoop. The waitress gets the scoop, comes to get me, and drags me over to the table. At the table is this girl, her mom and her older sister. I sit there for about 10 mins. and talk.

 

When I see them get their check and see they are ready to leave I simply look at the girl and say "well, would you be interested in going out to get a bite to eat sometime?" She nodded and said sure. So I asked for her number. The girl writes her full name and her number down on a napkin and gives it to me; I give her my number as well.

 

So the next day I text her, the convo was short and I left it at that. TWO days after that (the texting) I give her a call. I super nervous. We chit chat for about 15-20 mins., but then there's this awkward 5 sec. dead silence. She says she has to go, but I start to stutter and ask if she was doing anything this weekend, because I'd like to take her out to dinner. She says she has homecoming, and maybe some other time. So I say okay and I tell her to lemme know if she frees up.

 

Well that was 5 days ago and I haven't heard from her. Girls, does she seem interested? Should I call her again this week and ask her on a date again? What do you read into this/ what should I do?

 

Much Thanks

[kuiks8]

i would call her in the middle of the week to ask one last time and if she makes an excuse and can't see you i would say move on...

[Supa_gurl]

Sounds to me that she is just as nervous as you. But I agree with kuiks8, give her a call mid-week and if it is a lame excuse just give up on her.

[SupaflyTNT]

Don't be so nervous next time. Remember, you showed a LOT of confidence going over there and talking to her in front of her family. She's probably never had a guy do that before. She's also probably more nervous than you are because of that. She's just another human being like you, no reason to be nervous talking to her.

 

Call her up soon and set up a date on a weekday, let her have weekends for fun with her friends. You should be doing the same. Most people don't have much going on during the weekday but want to party it up with friends on the weekend, so early on I try to set things up on a weekday. Do something like getting a cup of coffee. Short and sweet but one on one so you can get to know each other.

 

And remember, you have the upper hand by showing so much confidence when you met her. Use that to bolster yourself up, she wouldn't have given you her number if she didn't want to. And you know what? At least you can say you walked up to some random girl at a restaurant and pulled her number in front of her family. Hell, I don't know many guys that can do that.

[boo121]

you were doing so well until you ended the phone conversation on a weird note. nevermind, you asked her to give you a call if something frees up, good. Leave it at that for now. You shouldnt have to pursue women mate. she knows you're interested.

[Batya33]

I agree with those who said to call one more time, mid week, for next weekend.

[killingjoke]

Yeah, I was pretty nervous. I was going to call the day before, but I was so jittery and uneasy I couldnt do it, so I had to wait a day.

 

Nevertheless, I personally feel that she seems interested. She gave me her number, yes, but she could've done that just so I'd leave her alone. On top of that, though, she answered my text the following day--when she could've ignored it. AND she answered my call and talked for 20 mins.--and it wasnt just me doing all the talking, she seem interested in the conversation. BUT, she hasn't tried to contact me at all. Why's that?

 

From an outsiders perspective, ladies most especially, does she seem interested? Can you elaborate.

 

I don't see why she wouldn't go on a date, what would it hurt? Why not?

[boo121]

if you like her that much, just cold call her with the purpose of arranging a date. "hey lets meet up, fancy getting coffee down our local starbucks? this evening 6 o clock sharp... and you better be there!" grow some testies and ask! if she says no, hey who cares ive been turned down more times than i'd like to admit 8)

[killingjoke]

Ok, thanks.

 

Any more thoughts here?

[L10]

I've had some mild successes with cold pickups like this. It does take guts to do something like this, so pat yourself on the back. It's not easy.

 

Just remember that somtimes its very hard to go out with them right away. You're nervous and they're nervous so be prepared for failure. Remember, you're a complete stranger to her so there needs to be some sort of trust for her to spend time with you.

 

The above posts are good but I think it's about comfort. She has to be comfortable with you in order to go out with you. You need to spend a little more time building some comfort one-on-one. Maybe talk with her on the phone a couple of more times, keep the conversations short. Chat with her online through AIM/MSN. Talk to her and build some comfort but at the same time make sure you are converying interest.

 

Then when the time comes, ask her out again and see if she flakes. If she does flake, there maybe other reasons you may/may not know about. In that case, just walk away.

It takes two people to make it work.

[drewciouS281]

if you told her to let you know when she is free, she should contact you. If you really wanna persist this girl you can send her a short text by mid week like, "hey you, hope all is well. Just wanted to see if you were still enterested in getting a bite sometime soon?"

 

see if she responds to that. If not, leave it alone and be done with it. For all you know she could have a boyfriend or something but was too nice/shy to turn you down in front of her mom and sis.

[Dating Coach]

I think you probably should have got to the point and ended the call sooner. 15-20 minutes is a bit much. Try and aim for around 5 minutes. Also, when you ask a girl out, don't be vague such as, "Would you like to go somewhere sometime?" Instead of being vague, be more direct. "Woudl you like to come with me to ________ on Thursday?" If you're going to make a move, make a full move, not a half move.

 

Try again, but be quicker and more to the point.

[LBP]

Haha, love DC with the Thursday jugular. Also, while it's possible you haven't played this -perfectly-, consider with pride the learning experience you've gone through. It'll be much easier to do this the next time around... Both the cold approach and the call. You know now that you shouldn't talk so long, that you should have a plan, and that you should act on that plan with speed and assurance. You'll be so set for the following encounter, my friend. hold your head high.

[Yates33]

I think you probably should have got to the point and ended the call sooner. 15-20 minutes is a bit much. Try and aim for around 5 minutes. Also, when you ask a girl out, don't be vague such as, "Would you like to go somewhere sometime?" Instead of being vague, be more direct. "Woudl you like to come with me to ________ on Thursday?" If you're going to make a move, make a full move, not a half move.

 

Try again, but be quicker and more to the point.

 

I agree. You already met this girl face to face, you needed to call her about two days later (forget this texting stuff) and chit chat (nice, funny and light topics) for about five minutes then specifically ask her out for a day and time. To be honest, it sounds like she's not too interested.

 

Give it one more shot. But call, do not text.