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I think she's cheating


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Ok guys and girls,


I may be wrong about this .... but I think my g/f of 4 months is cheating on me. To get the history of us, if you dont know me by name by now lol, we're both 19 and go to the same college.


We have this mutual friend... that she has been friends with a little longer than I have... we'll name him C. Just about a year ago C liked her. It's been the first week back at college. They live in the same dorm just different floors. Recently when I go to meet with her to go to a meal ... to go with like one of my best friend and her and C.... he's already in there. A couple of times out of the last week, he's been in there... with her alone.


Tonight, I went to see her and he was there ... since his weekend everyone left because of monday (holiday). He lied to me today trying to say she was completely messed up last night ... something that really ticks me off.


I think C is trying to tick me off to the point with my girl that I get rid of her so he can have her. What do you think about this ? Do you think she's cheating ? I read some articles already... some of the tips to 'catch a cheater' work up with where she is. Such as giving me less time together, etc.

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Depends. I mean...he may be after her..but do you trust HER? she may have no interest in him, and is only offering him a friendship. They live close to each other, so it's convenient for them to meet up to talk and so on.


I'd sit back and watch the signs right now. I wouldn't go in and accuse either of them on just what you have here. Ya know?

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and I agree with the post above-I wasn't talking about accusing...but there is never anything wrong with a calm and loving discussion over something that is concerning in a relationship. Maybe it would be beneficial to just tell her that you have noticed that this guy is hanging out a lot and you wonder if your relationship with her is still solid? And if she has considered that you might be naturally wondering about it? It's funny, but when you step back a bit and offer a vulnerable position in these cases, you are far more likely to get the truth, and also, to gain respect and feeling from your girl-and honestly, if your username and avatar are accurate, this tactic would be even more effective-as in the huge strong man that actually has that soft spot after all...just a guess, I don't know the dynamics, but maybe it could be worth a shot. Good luck to you brother...

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be R-E-A-L careful at how you approach this situation; if you let the green-eyed monster consume you, it is the path to the dark side.........................of a relationship and it can't ever be repaired (cheater will ALWAYS ring out in your mind even if she wasn't and you WILL eventually break up your own relationship with your paranoia).


talk to her and don't accuse.



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Hmm... to be honest there's nothing to jumps out as 'cheating' from what you describe. I had plenty of female friends in college and I spent a lot of time at their places or they came over to mine. I've also been on the other side of things where I was the guy that liked the girl who was with someone. If the guy is a decent guy he will keep his distance even if she were trying to get something going.


If she were cheating I'm fairly sure she'd be a little more worried about you finding out and would try to keep it less visible.


If you are getting this vibe and can't ignore it then you might do some subtle tests. As Doyathink wrote, I wouldn't suggest coming out and accusing anyone.


Try this and see how they react:


Set 'C' up on a date with some girl. If your gf reacts negatively to the idea of him hooking up with someone else you may have something. His reaction would be less telling though.

You might even see if your gf wants to get involved in helping hook the guy up with someone. A double date or would that be weird?


Honestly though, I think you may be having doubts and those things left unchecked have a tendency to become bigger and bigger.


Best of luck



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Well, I talked to her and she said that she thinks that is really * * * * ed up. This whole idea of "him chasing her" completely went over her head. She said, she really didn't want to be friends with him anymore and told me that she was going to talk to him on Sunday about this when everyone gets back (everyone went home for the holiday). She told me she is going to tell him that "we are serious, that she isn't interested in him". My concern though - she really IS NOT confrontive and doesnt like to be. But if something really bothers her she'll talk about it.


Ugggh, I'd hate to find out like 3 months down the line ... if it gets that far ... that she actually cheated with C. I mean, I'm not drop dead hot guy, I'm a pretty handsome on the other hand, C is completely overweight, almost alcoholic...

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I mean, I'm not drop dead hot guy, I'm a pretty handsome on the other hand, C is completely overweight, almost alcoholic...


Well looks might not be everything, some of us may like the overweight alcoholic, I suppose that all comes down to personal preference.


It might be however, that your girlfriend is a nice sweet girl who doesn't mind hanging out with this guy and he's just thrilled that a pretty girl will talk to him much less hang out with him. Plus, it seems that you mentioned that you her and him and other people go out sometimes so if he gets to her room a little bit early so what? You were planning on going out anyway together.


It could be totally innocent here, she may not be chest-beatingly confrontive, so she may already be handling the situation in her own way and letting this guy know that she isn't interested in him like that in a way that is comfortable to her on her own terms, without having her boyfriend looming over her in the background, jealously growling at the other guy.

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