ImThatGirl Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 Hey Hersmudders, this is so confusing to me. Fact is, it shouldn't have happened. You know that. But maybe you could clarify what your sponsor said. Because to me, it seems that it's not helpful advice. I mean I understand resentment and all. But really - do you not feel terrible and want to apologize? You are still at a stage of "he deserved it" so I'm not going to feel bad? That's scary to me. Link to comment
hers Posted September 3, 2008 Author Share Posted September 3, 2008 What I mean was that at this moment, at 10:09 am on Sept 2, I do not feel bad for what I did. That's not to say I never will feel bad. I will one day feel sorry for it and want to make amends for it. But for now, that's not where I am, so I will not force myself to have that feeling of guilt and regret, b/c it will eventually lead to resentment if I wake up one day and realize i am not sorry. In my program, I hold fast to the belief that where I am at this second is where my Higher Power needs me to be. Whether it's in happiness, in sadness, in pain, in guilt, in tears, in celebration, whatever. My HP has me feeling this way for a reason, and over time, I will feel differently with my HP's help. And that's how it should be. I am going to let my HP do for me what I can't do for myself just yet. I don't expect many people to understand that, and it's fine. yes, I know what I did was wrong. I wish people woudl stop saying htat. I've said that it was wrong. I know it was. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 It's not just a matter of it was wrong or not. The lack of emotion in general - empathy, regret, sadness that you hurt a human being, lack of control.... Just shocking to me I guess. Link to comment
hers Posted September 3, 2008 Author Share Posted September 3, 2008 It's not just a matter of it was wrong or not. The lack of emotion in general - empathy, regret, sadness that you hurt a human being, lack of control.... Just shocking to me I guess. I understand that, but please understand that I never said I will never feel that. I just said that right now, at this point, I do not. I will eventually, maybe tomorrow, next month, next year, who knows. But right now, on this day, I do not, and I'm taking it one day at a time, not waiting for it to happen b/c it "shoudl" happen, but when my HP needs it to happen. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 I understand that, but please understand that I never said I will never feel that. I just said that right now, at this point, I do not. I will eventually, maybe tomorrow, next month, next year, who knows. But right now, on this day, I do not, and I'm taking it one day at a time, not waiting for it to happen b/c it "shoudl" happen, but when my HP needs it to happen. Your "HP" probably wants you to be empowered enough to make your own decisions and draw your own conclusions. I believe in a higher power as well but won't use that as my crutch. I have free will and make my decisions. Your HP needs it to happen when YOU need it to happen. Link to comment
hers Posted September 3, 2008 Author Share Posted September 3, 2008 Your "HP" probably wants you to be empowered enough to make your own decisions and draw your own conclusions. I believe in a higher power as well but won't use that as my crutch. I have free will and make my decisions. Your HP needs it to happen when YOU need it to happen. It is NOT a crutch. It's a personal belief and DO NOT fault me for having something I believe in. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 I think at this point I am ending this discussion. Not once did i fault you for having anything as I mentioned i ALSO believe in a higher power. This conversation is over. Link to comment
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