Infamous Break-Up Lines

[Bigbilly]

"I just feel like I'm drifting away from you" -- I have no spine or class, and I'm ending a two-year relationship over the phone so I can sleep with another guy.

 

"I'm commitment-phobic, and considering my age I think it's justified!" -- I don't have the talent to put to words what kind of BS this one was.

[Jeen]

I think your family will be happy if we call it off.

 

I remember your mom said it will not work, she knows best.

 

I am not good in bed with you, I need more.

[John Bendix]

One of my friend got this one.

 

"I think my dogs dont like you".

 

Girl had three dongs and was way more into dongs than into people.

 

 

It this a typo? Is it supposed to read, "I think my DONGS don't like you".

 

That would be even creepier!!!!

[John Bendix]

Darkblue,

 

"I think we should see other people" (I'm already seeing other people)

 

 

This is a classic

[greensleeves]

I think I still have feelings for my ex

(you were revenge sex and I just used you to make my ex jealous)

 

I'm just not capable of loving anyone (I'm a mental case)

[Parsley]

"I just don't think I can offer you much in a relationship" (It was fine when I was feeling crappy and you were there for me, but now you have problems, I can't be bothered to do the same for you)

[musashi]

"I want to dedicate myself 100% to my church" (I want to date other people)

 

"I do not love you as much as you love me" (I want to date other people)

 

"I do not want to be the kind of person that cheats on you" (I want to date other people)

 

"You are not the One" (I want to date other people)

 

"I have found someone else that I want to pursue a relationship with" (I am dating other people)

[Stella Sleepwalks]

"You're too good for me! I'm so much of a coward that I was just gonna leave the engine running and tell you on the doorstep! I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to hit me!"

 

Hit him? I knocked the **** on his backside and his brother had to walk round to my house to take him and the car home because he couldn't see properly.

 

Good riddance to that!

[John Bendix]

Stella,

 

Remind me not to break up with you!

 

 

musahi,

 

I think you missed one along these lines:

 

-"YOU do not love me as much as I love you" (I want to date other people)

 

or

 

-"I can't keep up with you in bed" (I want to date other people)

[John Bendix]

-"I want to discover my true feelings for you and cannot when you are around". (I can't stand the sight of you)

[Stella Sleepwalks]

My work colleague had this one: "You're not my type. I thought to myself, Claire, all the good looking bad boys keep breaking your heart... So I gave you a chance and I realised that I would rather stick with old habits than develop less exciting ones!"

 

HARSH!

[John Bendix]

-I think that relationship has run its course". (I got mine, CU later)

[bambina maxima]

"I want to be with you, I just need to be single a little while longer." (I just need to give the gift of my penis to as many vaginas as I can before I settle down.)

[thejigsup]

I can't love you the way you want me to. (But I can love this other hottie that way!)

[Daddy Bear]

Oh, let's see here...

 

"I'm going back to my husband." (gold star for an easy letdown)

 

"I'm dying." (possibly a D-for-L typo)

 

Finally, there was this slashing coup de grâce:

 

"You're a baby holder. You're a baby bearer."

 

 

 

I'm still trying to work this last one out. It doesn't sound like such a bad thing to me. Any help with decryption would be appreciated.

[sedated]

actually it has occurred to me that when someone tells you and they're not ready for a relationship at the moment before immediately going out to see someone else, they are ironically enough telling you the truth.

 

people like that just aren't ready for a relationship. chances are they still imagine the latter to be a composition of fairytale moments and excitement.

[John Bendix]

-"I'm doing this for your sake. You need to meet someone much better than me". (Take a hike)

[browneyedgirl36]

"I think it's best if we're just friends for now" (I'm just not that into you.)

 

"I am not over my previous relationship" or "I have issues from a former relationship" (I'm into you, but obviously not enough to want to get past my *issues.*)

 

"You're so beautiful and special, and I don't want to hurt you." (I'm into you, but I'm waaaaayyyy more into my ex, and I hope to get her back sometime soon.)

 

"You deserve so much better." (See above.)

[BONO]

Its not me - its you ! Whoops !

[pacodemil]

I'm cheating on you ( no really I am)

[Firiel]

Its not me - its you ! Whoops !

 

My boyfriend totally used the "It's not me, it's you," line on an ex of his. When I expressed my surprise that he would actually say this to someone (because he's generally a very sweet guy), he said, "What? She was absolutely insane. It was her."

 

I got a good laugh out of it.

[Phirefenix]

I got the I love but I'm not in love with you. (I seriously had a hard time not laughing)

 

"I found myself" In her case: "I wanna party my ass off guilt free for a few years"

[reelbigfish]

I got many of them....

 

"I love you but I'm not in love with you"

"It's me not you"

 

and the one that hurt the most

 

"I don't want to be in a serious relationship right now" - upon which she followed it up saying "I don't know what I want - I could be married tomorrow for all I know".

[Karmageddon]

I need time to find myself... (well when you do, GET LOST!)

[Purple1]

Actual break up lines I've had personally!

 

"it's not you it's me" (I think I laughed at that one!)

 

"We just met at the wrong time" (when is there a right time to meet someone?)

 

When I was a lot younger " There's a lot of things happening at the bars just now and, you're not old enough to drink so I'll never get to see you" (I actually fought this one and stayed for years... stupid me!)

 

Also from the same ex

 

"I don't think I'll ever love anyone more than I love myself"

 

"I see you more as my best friend than my girlfriend

 

Oooh the lessons learned!!!!