self reflection: why did you break up with your ex?

[Caterina]

Someone posed a question that made me think...if you could sum it up in a few simple sentences...why did you break up with your ex? Say as little or as much as you want.

 

For me...

1) Was a womanizer. I was unhappy.

2) Was lazy and controlling and abusive. I was unhappy.

3) Was boring. Neither unhappy or happy.

4) Was extremely critical. I was unhappy.

5) traveled around too much, wasn't worth it.

6) Gut feeling that it wasn't going to work.

 

If I could boil it down to anything: something in me knew it wasn't ever right with them. I want someone who won't necessarily make me happy...but yeah, basically someone who is more of a benefit than a disadvantage... Its weird, when you do this: you can see patterns, lots of them. I can see how many of the men I dated were very critical of me. Like whom? Like my Father. And I can also see why I really like to be free and often view relationships as controlling. I want someone who is extremely independent.

[bijoux27]

I've dumped two people before so the reasons were:

1) I was young and wasn't ready.

2) He was becoming a jerk and it was getting really boring.

[Superfreak]

She broke too many promises and wasn't giving me the level of respect I was entitled to.

[Caterina]

She broke too many promises and wasn't giving me the level of respect I was entitled to.

 

Ouch. Not all women do that...find women who will respect you for the man you are, and respect her for the woman she is.

[helplesslyhoping]

My 2 marriages...

 

1. i was in a downward spiral of depression and self loathing and I did stupid and hateful things. I'm still sorry.

 

2. He left because he decided that he had never loved me and never should have married me in the first place. I hope the girlfriend he cheated with gives him a disease.

[feelinblu]

I broke up with my highschool sweetheart because we had just grown apart. Though it was hard for both of us, he agreed it was the right thing to do. He is now very happy with his fiance, and I think she's wonderful too.

 

Another boyfriend still lived at home and constantly complained about it. He handled a lot of situations in his life that way- he would complain but never do anything about it. So I called it off. I broke his heart too, and I felt horrible for it.

 

Another one I broke up with because his ex came back into his life. He swore up and down that nothing was going on between them, but I knew differently. So I drove to his house one night unexpectedly when I thought she might be there, and sure enough....... you know the rest. I'm not sure I really had to "break up" with him on this one. It was kind of a given. She apparently got pregnant that night.

 

And finally, I found out that another one had another gf in a LDR. I broke it off, he begged me to come back making promises that he ahd left her, and would show me the proof. I was an idiot, and let him back, but he never really broke up with her....... In hind sight, I never would have needed proof from him, because I never should have given him a second chance in the first place. I actually felt sorry for him when he came crying to me, and thought surely if he would do this, he will be true to me..........

 

I have way too much faith in people. But one day I will find a man who is worth all my faith, I know it.

[feelinblu]

My 2 marriages...

 

I hope the girlfriend he cheated with gives him a disease.

 

 

HAHAHA! It's horrible, but I've thought the same things too! I've actually gotten to hear about the "what goes around, comes around" when it finally came back to him, and it (ashamed to say) put a smile on my face.

[Gratsy]

My 2 marriages...

 

1. i was in a downward spiral of depression and self loathing and I did stupid and hateful things. I'm still sorry.

 

2. He left because he decided that he had never loved me and never should have married me in the first place. I hope the girlfriend he cheated with gives him a disease.

 

 

Thats so terrible, the second one. What a jerk!

[pinkelephant]

1) he was way too obsessive with me and i was only 14

2) there was no trust

3) absolutely no real reason

4) he didn't seem to like me enough so i did the deed for him (he begged for me back and blah blah blah drama)

 

 

2 of them werent really bfs, they were just guys i was somewhat seriously dating. like, a month or two ish of dating but nothing official.

#2 and #4 were my only two reaaal exs.

[ElasticMagnetic]

I broke up with the first guy I dated because he just didn't like me as much as I like him. And he was too sarcastic for my tastes. He never took me seriously and liked to argue about things. I still wonder what I saw in him in the beginning.

 

 

I just had to break up with my last boyfriend. He was very controling towards the end and it felt like the arguments were too often. It hurt so much to break up with him because I liked him so much! But I couldn't stand it any longer!

[Karmageddon]

1) because he would make plans with me and then just never show up or call for days

 

2) because for a year and 3 months he was my hero and for 12 years before that he was my friend. And I had a new faith that good guys existed, then for the next 3 mo he proved it was all a lie by treating me like common garbage. My "friend" my "sweetie" and my "hero", all lies.

 

3) Because I detest liars.

 

4) Because he made my cry and I look like sh*t when I cry.

[McLovin oo7]

I guess my story is bit different.

 

I never got dumped and I never dumped anyone.

 

Patience worked fine for me.

 

 

[Panda2008]

1. was a cheating alcoholic

2. was physically abusive

3. I didn't want to get into a relationship with him

4. I walked in on him and his ex in bed together!

 

All the other times I got dumped!

[Caterina]

Wow, a lot of these are terrible...it almost makes break ups seem like their good since its ending a relationship with someone like the people we broke up with.

[TropicalParadise]

For the only guy I have ever dumped:

 

-We had nothing in common

-It was a LDR

-He started to treat me like crap

-I fell for someone else (who I'm still with 3 years later)

[Loltastic]

She never did anything to show me that I was hers, never did anything to show me that she loved me, never did anything to make me think we had a future... then when I told her I didn't feel like I was hers and that I didn't think she loved me and that she wouldn't want me around she made me feel needy and guilty for not trusting her more.

 

The thing that kills me is that after we broke up I now know its her personality not to show these things and that she really did feel strongly for me... but I take solace in the fact that I told her I needed her to show me a little more affection and I wasn't worth that to her to try and understand me.

 

I deserve more I guess

[arcadefire]

I loved him. And he didn't love me.

 

His words to a mutual friend. I hope he realizes just who he's lost.

[koreangelxp]

the reason i dumped my ex was crazye controling tried to kill me twice. he also tried to commit sucide in front of me when i was trying to break up with him. he hit me, and then he cheated on me with his ex and got her knocked up... so thats all in a nut shell... and now... from the last thing i heard hes in prison...yay...

[dreamwarrior]

I didn't trust, admire, or respect him...sums it up!

[bijoux27]

3) unhappy and it wouldn't work out in the end

[nothanks]

I gave him an ultimatum twice because he was not treating me kindly. Asked him to consider whether he wanted to be in the rel. enough to work on it a bit, make some compromises.

 

Each time, I was calm and kind and warm. Gave him clear thoughts and boundaries. Each time he failed me by just bolting and not communicating.

 

Oh well. He was probably afraid I'd dump him, so he had to dump me first.

[nothanks]

I gave him an ultimatum twice because he was not treating me kindly. Asked him to consider whether he wanted to be in the rel. enough to work on it a bit, make some compromises.

 

Each time, I was calm and kind and warm. Gave him clear thoughts and boundaries. Each time he failed me by just bolting and not communicating.

 

Oh well. He was probably afraid I'd dump him, so he had to dump me first.

[Bigbilly]

She was controlling, manipulative and hyper-jealous. I loved her fiery personality, but I just couldn't handle the way she treated me anymore.

[desi1987]

Well

 

1. She cheated..wasnt a dealbreaker at first

2. I found out she was STILL cheatin

3. Multiple Lies..couldnt trust her at all

4. Dismissive way she behaved toward me during the last wk of the relationship

5. Didnt call me for a stretch of 5 days..

6. Finally just realized that HELL...i can do SOO MUCH BETTER

 

Lol..it was pretty much a culmination of 1-6 together that made me break it off...that and her definite lack of respect for me.

[lostnva]

I like these stories...very interesting!

 

1- Was high school sweetheart, we were together for 6 years and had a wonderful daughter ....he was perfect, but I out grew him. I wanted to party and date other people. He still to this day hates me for it. But were civil for our daughter.

 

2- Was a few years younger and very imature...didnt want me to leave the house. He acted like a baby.

 

3- Lier, cheater, abusive, sex addict, but had loads of money to make up for the bad things he would do....so at the end I just took advantage of that. He would cheat, get caught and take me to the GUESS store and drop $1000 easy. Or take me to South Beach, LA,...Bahamas! He owns a strip club now 2 hummers, and a Range Rover....we are friends.