nothanks

X, I just want to forget you. I want to make my mind clean of you. The whole time we were together you were lying to me, cheating, stealing from me, saying bad things about me. The worse of it is that you would them accuse me of being crazy or paranoid or say that my angry reactions to your behaviors (like when you'd disappear over night or longer and not reply to my calls or texts) were what kept you away. You left me in a cruel, dishonest way, then you came back 3 months later and convinced me your love was real and you'd seen the error of your ways. A month later you cheated again. And another year of craziness followed. And now you are back with the woman you lied to me about last year, the one you said was crazy and you wanted nothing to do with her ever again and were ashamed you'd ever gotten involved with her at all. You looked in my eyes, August of 2008, when you'd come up after moving out of state - to help me with the house you claimed, and you told me you wanted to have sex with her. You said that and I felt such pain I wanted to die. Then you tricked me and pretended to go back home but instead of the airport, you went to her house for a few days of fun. That trip cost me over 900 bucks. And you didn;t even get much done on the house. I thought, after that, that I was done with you. That pain was so terrible. The betrayal so intense. BUt I took you back. ANd now, a year later, you are back with her. You have called me names and hurt me and ignored me and come over to get money from me or ask favors. You didn't respond when I was in the ER all day. I begged you for a ride home but you ignored me. when you finally called to say you'd pick me up, my phone died. I tried to call you from a payphone but you wouldn;t answer. i took a taxi home, waiting in the cold, outside, no coat with me, sick and in pain and doped up by the doctors. And later, I get a bunch of texts telling me that I am so terrible for playing games with you. Since then, I've gotten sicker and sicker, and I am so alone and isolated. You do not offer help. You do not do anything but sometimes send a mean text to me about how I am such a bad person. I am deeply in debt. I supported you for over 2 years, you used me, cheated, shamed and humiliated me. Why do I even ask for help still? Go away. I wish you did not exist in my mind.