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New girl was HORRIBLE in bed... Any ideas on how I could 'help' her

gcollier2002

By gcollier2002
in Sex and Romance

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gcollier2002 Contributor

gcollier2002

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Hey, all...

 

I didn't really plan on seeing someone so soon, but I invited this girl over tonight that I had an idea that she liked me... Well... not long after she was here, she was wanting me to take her; honestly, I'm typically not like this, but we had fooled around a bit in the past and I had a few drinks in me, so I figured "what the heck"

 

Well... we got into bed and did our thing... She wanted me to go slow because she said that I was a lot bigger than what she is used to- So I did... she ended up getting off a few times... but I couldn't. She 'is' a little bit bigger than what I'm used to, but I just couldn't seem to get off... I don't know what's wrong.

 

Has anyone been with someone who just was not good at all in the sack? -If so; were you able to get them "practiced" at it?

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JeckyllNHyde Enthusiast

JeckyllNHyde

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maybe lack of sexual chemistry? doesnt seem like she did anything wrong apart from openly say "take me". perhaps you need more of a chase?

she doesnt seem "horrible" in bed since she wasnt on top or anything. so maybe it was just the lack of chemistry. no umph. no real connection (yet)

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JeckyllNHyde Enthusiast

JeckyllNHyde

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Well, generally, if she's not into it, she'll just lie there, and let you do your thing. So, could it have been that?

 

im sure she was into it. or else she wouldnt have said "take me".

but....

it could be you guys had sex but there was no intimacy. it was just sex. and maybe she is not feeling confident enough to get on top and try new stuff yet/open up fully. i need intimacy with a guy to realllly open up.

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gcollier2002 Contributor

gcollier2002

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are you attracted to her? is this something you are actually interested in pursuing?

 

She's "attractive" but it's not like I've gone with then intention of getting her. -I think I see what you're getting at, though... the whole "thrill of the chase" To some extent you're probably right. I'm a very goal-oriented person and I like to earn everything that I get and it makes me that much prouder of it. I didn't work at all for this and got in anyway. -Maybe it was just me...

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kuiks8 Collaborator

kuiks8

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I just meant if the sex was bad and if she isn't someone you see yourself being with than why put in the effort really...chemistry can't be taught really. If it was someone you were really in to it might be worth the effort but if you just kind of went with the flow why pursue it...just my thoughts...

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gcollier2002 Contributor

gcollier2002

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I just meant if the sex was bad and if she isn't someone you see yourself being with than why put in the effort really...chemistry can't be taught really. If it was someone you were really in to it might be worth the effort but if you just kind of went with the flow why pursue it...just my thoughts...

 

I'm just trying to do something new and different. I was complaining to one of my female friends about the last bout with the ex and how I seem to fall into the same exact rut every time and she said something very profound to me and I'm still trying to explore it to it's fullest meaning. "To get something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done."

 

And by no means am I planning on using this girl. I like her and certainly wouldn't mind spending time with her; however, as you said, see nothing there long-term. I'm curious though if I just need a few insignificant RLs to move myself through life a bit till I find the one who I want and who wants me in return.

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Anon333 Community Regular

Anon333

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oh..ok..was she drunk? what was it like afterwards, did it seem awkward or uncomfortable. Did you agree to hang out again? It sounds like it was more of a chemestry thing and bad timing maybe. You werent into it at the time...Im sure you can try it a few more times and see if anything changes. But dont lead her on if you only want to sleep with her.....

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gcollier2002 Contributor

gcollier2002

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oh..ok..was she drunk? what was it like afterwards, did it seem awkward or uncomfortable. Did you agree to hang out again? It sounds like it was more of a chemestry thing and bad timing maybe. You werent into it at the time...Im sure you can try it a few more times and see if anything changes. But dont lead her on if you only want to sleep with her.....

 

That's the thing... I REALLY invited her over to watch a movie. It was her who made the advances on me. We had a drink each, but were by no means drunk, tipsy, or even tingly... We agreed to hang out again; but I really (tonight and future nights) have no intention to sleep with her.

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Anon333 Community Regular

Anon333

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hmmmm, I dont like how you said you want a few insignificant relationships to move yourself along...Thats not fair to the other person...You consider them insignificant...Instead of that I think you need time alone and with friends to move you along..You seem to think you can use a couple people for a relationship for a quick fix of moving on and getting over the past...You should just be her friend, but she obviously doesnt want that, so maybe you should move on before it gets messy...

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gcollier2002 Contributor

gcollier2002

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I'm not saying that I "want" something insignificant. I just said that I was curious if that's what it would take. I've always done serious RLs and have ALWAYS been burned. My first 'real' gf of 6 years left me and ran away with a cop... I was single (purposely) for 2 years after that and on a rare occasion went out once or twice with 2 or 3 different girls. I then dated a girl for a year and then we moved in together for a year; she left me for a coworker. I was single for almost a year before I met my last ex; who I've seen for just 7 months only to continue to hear "I don't want something serious" I 'do' want something serious; but for whatever reason, the girls I align myself with that aren't at the bar every night, attractive, and who seem to be decent end up screwing me over. I'm really at a loss.

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hers Experienced

hers

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i dont get why you say she sucked. just b/c you didn't get off? was it her technique at all that made you think she was bad?

 

i dont think it is fair for you to say she sucks in bed just b/c you didnt get off. if anything it'd be more fair to say the chemistry just wasnt there, but it doesnt seem like anything she did wrong.

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ghost69 Mentor

ghost69

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i dont get why you say she sucked. just b/c you didn't get off? was it her technique at all that made you think she was bad?

 

i dont think it is fair for you to say she sucks in bed just b/c you didnt get off. if anything it'd be more fair to say the chemistry just wasnt there, but it doesnt seem like anything she did wrong.

 

if he wasn't aroused or excited enough, more than likely she wasn't doing something right or he wasn't attracted to her. i'm going with being fully attracted to her. she probably did her thing.

 

OP, did she just lay there?

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BeStrongBeHappy Experienced

BeStrongBeHappy

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Yes, you sound underwhelmed, kind of going to yourself, 'meh' when you think of her.

 

Perhaps you were better off as friends, but now you have to backpeddle and see if she's interested in staying friends. Most girls don't want to be the 'good enough for now' girl if you already know you wouldn't want her longterm, so don't waste either of your time, unless she tells you sex is all she's interested in too. (but then if it is bad sex, what's the point).

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gcollier2002 Contributor

gcollier2002

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She was just bad in all respects. -Sort of just laid there; didn't really move all that much. And honestly (and I'm not blaming her for this) couldn't really get physically comfortable because she said it was too big. I guess that's a good problem to have... but I've never had that problem with anyone else, though... LOL.

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