So much bad luck. How do I get back on the horse?

[PurposeNotWishes]

Basically, nearly every dating experience I've had has been horrible. My first boyfriend cheated on me, and since then I've dated (not seriously, just talking and getting close to the point of becoming something) people who are drug dealers, drug addicts, porn stars (7), just plain crazy people, and even the largest child molester in Texas history. All of these people seemed perfectly normal at first, and the MORE normal they seemed, the worse they actually were. Even my friends who are all completely sane and normal said that they never would have guessed it about them, so I don't think that I'm drawn to those kinds of people. The guy who I really started falling for and WAS normal was sent to a military boot camp the day before our first official date by his uber-religious parents when they found out, and I haven't heard from him since. Then I met a great guy who was a successful chiropractor, mature, smart, funny, basically perfect who had said he had wanted to talk to me for a while but never had the nerve... until 2 days before I moved from New York to California.

I'm so tired of being single and afraid to date, but every time I meet someone now, I just expect it to go wrong one way or another, so I write the guys off at the first sign of something that could be a problem. People tell me to just think positively about it, but it's not that easy. If they happen to be normal, then it's just the wrong time for both of us. I don't have sex outside of relationships (and going on a 2 year dry spell now), so being completely alone is starting to take its toll.

Has anyone else had trouble getting back into the dating scene after bad luck? How did you do it?

[Hayles]

I have never been a "Dater" -as in, if I met someone as friends and in time we felt attraction, we would have the awkward converstion about being together and then I was in a relationship... But I have never had "Dates" with new guys as such... But for me, that has worked... I have never had to go through the awkward getting to know you stage, or the terrible discovery of them being something very different to who they claim to be - as I have met them through friends' bf's or in social settings where I have had an opportunity to get to know them for a while first.

 

Do you think this might work for you? Surround yourself with your friends, arrange a cocktail night at a bar or somewhere and tell each of your friends to bring someone else along - from a different circle... increase your sociability and the options will flow - and, if they are mates of your mates - then they must be alright!!!