jaxlo Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 OKAY, so I've been with a guy for a year now and we live together. We share the computer so his email was logged in and if you read my older posts, I've always had problems with guys playing around on the internet so i'm naturally conditioned to be suspicious. So, I'm checking out his emails and I go to his sent folder and it's pictures of his thing sent out to a bunch of people. I confronted him and he convinced me that it was an older picture we took together and he just sent it as a reply to spammers to get them to leave him alone. I don't know why I believe this stuff but I did... I trusted him again and we were okay until I looked through his email once again and saw a bunch of emails from people on craigslist saying they were going to meet up and all that. Some of the people he talked to on craigslist personals were MEN. So I was naturally confused... he even gave his phone number to one of the men. I confront him and he convinces me that he does it for fun and it's funny to mess with people on the internet and stand them up.. He does have an awkward sense of humor so he had me convinced. Anyway, it's been months and I thought I'd take a peek... we live in a new city now and there were emails from a GUY that he responded to and basically they discussed meeting and things that they will do to each other. I confronted him and said "if you're just messing around, how come you're doing it with people in this city now and telling them the neighborhood we live in?" He says it just convinces them even more... I told him I want to end it and he cried and begged me for a chance and said that he would kill himself without me. It's just so stupid... Am I crazy to believe these excuses? I love him and would hate for this to end but I can't lie to myself... please help. is my boyfriend gay? Link to comment
melrich Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 and said that he would kill himself without me. Just leave now. Seriously you are in a relationship a guy with the maturity of a 10 year old who is also getting away with screwing around behind your back. Just say "bye bye" and walk. Link to comment
NewPhillyGuy Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 sounds like a possibility to me. you should bail on this one, sweety. Link to comment
diamond78 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 is my boyfriend gay? This is an easy one. Yes. It's time to move on from this one. Link to comment
honeybee52 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Yes, he is gay, and you had better get tested for HIV if you've had unprotected sex with him, since he is engaging in high risk behaviors with multiple partners. Link to comment
BetterKarma Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 I'm with the guys on this one. I think it's time to leave and not look back. I would also get tested for STDs as soon as possible. There is a high possibility that he is having relations with others and who knows what kind of dangers he is bringing home. He's putting your health at risk. Link to comment
diamond78 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 link removed I didn't want to have to say it, but yep...that's exactly what he is.... Link to comment
kevinm Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 No question about it OP... your SO is not so... hetrosexual. Form a game plan on how you are going to leave this guy and get the heck out asap. -Kevin Link to comment
jaxlo Posted June 18, 2008 Author Share Posted June 18, 2008 ya I just looked at that site... this is so weird.... Link to comment
honeybee52 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 You are entitled to be angry about this. He has deceived you and used you as a cover-up to his other life. Pack your bags and leave him. Hopefully, you're in good health. You have a lot of possibilities in your life and you don't need someone like him to ruin it. Link to comment
caro33 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 The likelihood of him telling the truth about this re just trying to mess with people is really, really low given what you have found out. But even if it was true, you have two other facts at hand that make it clear that this should not be the man for you. First, it's a problem that he would even do this to people - that is, lie to them and stand them up. If this is true he is a bit of a sadist and not a very nice person. Second, he threatened suicide if you left. This is not a well adjusted person who you can rely on - he cannot even rely on himself. Overall, you have unambigious signs to move on. Him being gay is almost beside the point, except for if he has not practised safe sex with his partners and he has been lying and cheating. This is not the man for you. Link to comment
LanceVanceDance Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 - He is gay (or at the very least bi) and lies to you about it - He emotionally blackmails you with threats of killing himself... very likely idle threats anyway, but either way it's unacceptable - He cheats on you or plans on it... I can tell you no straight guy will ever send pictures of his pecker to other men and disclose his location to them. No matter what his "sense of humour" is. You should leave him as soon as possible. Link to comment
Sky_Ronin Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 More like he swings both ways. Link to comment
Darkness_Falls Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 From what I can tell, you are either with a guy who has a very immature sense of humour, who likes to wind people up or you are with a guy who is cheating on you. In either case, you are with a guy who isn't right for you. You deserve to be with someone who is more mature than this. He will continue to mess you around, that's for sure. Get out asap and don't look back. Link to comment
george237 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 That sucks. I would go get tested immediately and then get tested again 6 months from now. Prepare some sort of plan to get out and see through with it. Link to comment
Rabican Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 Your guy has no respect for you, or your relationship. What hes doing is dangerous to boot, even if he doesnt have true intentions of meeting one of these people. If you continue to put up with this utter garbage behavior, he will continue to do it. Get out now. And take it from me, no straight man will ever sit there and tell another guy how he wants to do 'things' with him. Thats about the most disgusting thing I can think of as a straight guy. So Keep that in mind. All things considered... run for the hills girl, this dudes nuts! Link to comment
keenan Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 Wow, yes. It's time to be brave and face up to the fact that he lives a secret life that has nothing to do with you. Stop letting yourself believe his creative lies. I hope that he figures this out for himself--there's absolutely nothing wrong with being gay--but you've gotta extricate yourself from his confused world. Be strong and start packing. Link to comment
bulletproof Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Even if he was doing these things as a joke, it's a pretty horrible thing to do to people. This relationship is not good. He's likely cheating, and threatening to kill himself. You, on the other hand, are regularly spying on his emails and internet usage. There is nothing healthy about this at all. End it. Link to comment
TooInvlved1 Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 I'm so sorry about this... Link to comment
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