joint accounts - good idea or bad?

[rms8]

Hey guys,

 

My boyfriend and I are about to move in together and although there is no engagement yet, we have talked about opening a joint account. I know people warn about doing this before you are married (and some people say never to do it) but I would make sure to have both names on the account so it was truly my money as well. I just think it would be much easier to have a separate account that we would both contribute to to pay for utilities and rent and groceries. Much easier than shuffling checks around to each other...

 

Anyone have any advice or experience with a joint account before getting married? Thanks!

[Mythical_Suicide]

I wouldn't do it unless I was married. Atleast with marriage you have something there saying if things end they HAVE to be split up. Whereas if you're just dating/living together and have a joint account anything can happen.

[JadedStar]

Well, i am 41 and got married two years ago. I will not have a joint account. Call me pessimistic but a good bit of advice dear old mum gave me (well i think it was good advice) was a woman (and a man) needs to have financial independence. It makes good logic and good sense. I say keep them separate.

 

With me we share the bills but have our own accounts. We split up who is responsible for paying for what. IT is very easy to share expenses but still have your own bank accounts.

 

My first marriage and subsequent divorce caused me some financial strife and I won't get myself into that predicament again.

[Godless_Heathen]

I don't think that's what she's saying. I think the idea is to have a joint account for joint expenses, and keep individual accounts for everything else.

 

Sounds reasonable to me. The main issue would be setting up equal (or at least agreed-upon) contributions. If all 3 accounts are at the same bank, you may be able to set up automatic deposits from the individual accounts to the joint account.

[JadedStar]

I don't think that's what she's saying. I think the idea is to have a joint account for joint expenses, and keep individual accounts for everything else.

 

Sounds reasonable to me. The main issue would be setting up equal (or at least agreed-upon) contributions. If all 3 accounts are at the same bank, you may be able to set up automatic deposits from the individual accounts to the joint account.

 

 

I still say it is not necessary.

 

If you ONLY use that account to deposit funds for bills that is fine, but it is one more accuont to keep track of and I have found in my situation that it is not necessary at all> There is no undue hassle doing it the way we do.

[rms8]

Yes, I would definitely keep my own money separate and the joint account would be for joint expenses like utilities and groceries. We would contribute equally as well.

 

I don't think it'll be a hassle since you can usually set up automatic transfers and have part of your paycheck going directly to whatever accounts you want. Plus, I'm slightly anal about keeping track of my money and it's kind of fun for me (yes, I'm really lame...)

 

Thanks for the advice! We still have a month or two to think about it

[Batya33]

I think it's a big mistake if you're not married.

[lana111]

i think it is not a good idea. i understand how if you have a joint account and both of you deposit X amount of dollars in it every paycheck and pay bills from that account how it would be easy, but its also easy to just write your share of things from your own accounts and collect the checks every month.

 

i would not do it until i was married, but thats my opinion.

[vermilion]

I know I'm young but I thought I'd just give my 2 cent.

 

I think a lot of issues can start in serious relationships from money. With a joint account, you're unneccessarily sharing your hard-earned money with another person unquestionably. If you really trust someone, I suppose it makes sense but really, if there's a situation where you needed to borrow money from the other, it could just as easily be transferred through a check or something.

 

The other person could use your money for anything and there wouldn't be anything you can do about it since you agreed to it.

 

Even if I were married, I couldn't see myself ever doing this because I know how easily you can get burned.

 

Also, I don't think it's right to just be open with all of your money. My mom had most of her money sucked up by my stepfather and had no private savings- a scary situation to be in.

 

That's why I think it's important to have your own money. I get that people want to have "ABSOLUTELY NO SECRETS!!!" but really it's not realistic. It's important to be open about debt and that stuff but I think people are happier when they keep a part of their independence and keep track of their own money.

[Parsley]

I agree with the others that while it makes more sense whilst married to have a joint account, right now might not be such a good idea. Moving in will be one of those tests of your relationship - will you be able to stand living with him and discovering things that may have been hidden so far? etc etc etc. Though I understand you will have separate accounts also, you would be putting a fair amount of hard earned eggs into one basket.

 

For utility bills I would opt for set prices and split fairly who pays what, and for food shopping take turns each week maybe?

 

Good luck moving in though! Exciting!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Well, i am 41 and got married two years ago. I will not have a joint account. Call me pessimistic but a good bit of advice dear old mum gave me (well i think it was good advice) was a woman (and a man) needs to have financial independence. It makes good logic and good sense. I say keep them separate.

 

With me we share the bills but have our own accounts. We split up who is responsible for paying for what. IT is very easy to share expenses but still have your own bank accounts.

 

My first marriage and subsequent divorce caused me some financial strife and I won't get myself into that predicament again.

 

I absolutely agree. There are so many stories about one person cleaning out the joint bank account. It may be more of a nuisance writing cheques to each other but there is more protection that way.

[Nixee]

I think it's a big mistake if you're not married.

 

I tend to agree.

 

But my opinion comes mostly not as someone who has lived with a partner (though not been married yet), but mainly as a banker. I deal with this stuff on a daily basis. Just today I spent a good chunk of my afternoon sorting out accounts and closing down one for a woman who had put her daughter on her account, and then her daughter had repeatedly overdrawn the account racking up fee after fee, neglecting to note these little checks and charges. And generally, the only way to remove someone from a personal account is by closing that account or by death Both parties own the account 100%. I've seen nasty things, and I've heard nasty things said.

 

That said, there are times when a joint account is necessary and handy.

 

If you are going to be receiving checks made out to the two of you (Pay to Jane and John Doe) then yeah sure... it is easiest and cleanest to put right into the joint account. Or if you both lead busy lives and need to sign off on checks for bills or whatever. Sure yeah.. lots of reasons.

 

But again... Usually that happens with marriage, joint tax returns and such.

 

My own parents still keep separate main accounts and have just one or two joint accounts that sit pretty dormant for tax/household purposes I believe, and that has suited them well. Married 28 years now with rarely any bickering over money or accounts

[unabashed]

I wouldn't have a joint account again. I would not want to risk marring my good credit by linking my name to anyone else, financially. I would go as far as to estimate the various costs, and rather have any bill jointly in your name and his, I would put one in your name, another in his. That way, if something happens with your relationship (or even if he is just not as responsible), you can be sure that your bills are paid and your credit remains good.

 

I was married for 20 years, and, fortunately, we both have very good credit. But, now that I'm on my own, financially, I understand the incredible importance of having good credit.

 

Everyone handles their finances differently when they are married. But, if you are not married, there is absolutely no reason to combine accounts--in my opinion.

 

All the best.

[Godless_Heathen]

I'm still having a hard time seeing why people have such a problem with this, thinking it's bad or dangerous or something. If the amount of money involved is just enough to cover the joint expenses, it's not a lot of money at risk any way you slice it, and it greatly simplifies bookkeeping and any number of headaches. You get rid of issues like who paid for groceries last and how much, and either of you can use a checkbook or debit card to pay joint expenses without having to track it and settle up afterward.

 

I'd understand the objections if it were pooling all the money, but this is just a bookkeeping thing, and a logical one.

[Mythical_Suicide]

It's not as simple as just placing enough money in for the bills to be paid, unless you're married I just don't think a joint anything is a good idea. Even when my Fiance and I get married we will still have separate everything.

[Aviatormy]

I have a joint account with my GF in which we use to pay bills that involve the house I.E. Gas, Electric, Water and groceries. I opened this account to try and teach her money management. I still keep the bulk of my money in my own separate account so I can assure that if anything bad were to happen between us.... I can still make rent and my car payments.

 

There is never more money in that joint account than needed. Just enough to pay the bills and a couple hundred extra for groceries and such.

 

I don't really see the need for it but she feels like it is helping her be more responsible

 

With that said. If you do things that way, I do not see anything wrong with that at all. Just be careful, A relationship is like gambling at a casino... never put more money in that account then you are willing to lose

[melrich]

the joint account would be for joint expenses like utilities and groceries.

 

I'll go against the grain and say it is Ok and makes sense. As long as you don't overexpose yourself to it (don't let too much money build up in it) and have a clear understanding between each other as to what the account is to be used for, it will simplify bill paying and what have you.

[Batya33]

Yes, as long as you're willing to lose the amount you put in, then it's fine.

[shes2smart]

I've been married for almost 6 years and we've never had a joint account of any kind.

 

The house is in my name alone, my car is in my name alone, his car is in his name alone and so on down the line.

 

We split up the "shared" bills so there's no paying each other for things. Like, I take care of the house payment, he picks up utilities and phone. It's not a 50/50 split, but it's more proportional with the amount of income each of us brings to the table.

 

We've found (for us) it's just easier that way.

[JadedStar]

I wouldn't have a joint account again. I would not want to risk marring my good credit by linking my name to anyone else, financially. I would go as far as to estimate the various costs, and rather have any bill jointly in your name and his, I would put one in your name, another in his. That way, if something happens with your relationship (or even if he is just not as responsible), you can be sure that your bills are paid and your credit remains good.

 

I was married for 20 years, and, fortunately, we both have very good credit. But, now that I'm on my own, financially, I understand the incredible importance of having good credit.

 

Everyone handles their finances differently when they are married. But, if you are not married, there is absolutely no reason to combine accounts--in my opinion.

 

All the best.

 

Bingo. I got some dings on my credit first time around with a marriage and joint accounts. I wont' do it ever again, even if he were the pope.

 

Ok the pope doesn't get married, but you get my drift.

[JadedStar]

I've been married for almost 6 years and we've never had a joint account of any kind.

 

The house is in my name alone, my car is in my name alone, his car is in his name alone and so on down the line.

 

We split up the "shared" bills so there's no paying each other for things. Like, I take care of the house payment, he picks up utilities and phone. It's not a 50/50 split, but it's more proportional with the amount of income each of us brings to the table.

 

We've found (for us) it's just easier that way.

 

Sounds like the same arrangment I have. It is easy and it works. It is not that hard as some people make it sound. It involves so little extra effort that bringing up "its so much easier" is practically moot.

[sweetjess195]

If you are going to have joint accounts, you should have a joint accont that is soley for rent, groceries, other bills, etc. Then each of you have your own account. That way the bills are being payed by both parties and yall both have your own accounts with your own money that you can do whatever with. That way, there will (HOPEFULLY) be no conflict on whos money is whos.

[melrich]

we both have very good credit. But, now that I'm on my own, financially, I understand the incredible importance of having good credit.

 

It's only a checking account....how could it possibly affect their credit standing unless they attach an overdraft facility? (and from what I get from the OP is that she is very financially responsible and there is no intention to make this a line of credit account).

[just M.E.]

My parents will be celbrating their 65th wedding anniversary Saturday. They have a joint account for expenses, Mom has control of that checkbook ;-), and they each have their own extra account.

 

I think it works well as long as both parties agree that joint account only goes to household, rent, groceries, etc.

[15 Storeys High]

I would get a joint account that can be paid into but can only have money withdrawn if both account names have given their consent and signature. That ensures neither person can withdraw money without the other knowing. Have your own accounts for all other things.