questions for lesbians

[novaseeker]

.

 

I was in various heterosexual relationships, including a 20 year marriage, and I can say with utter certainty that I am not sexually attracted to men. I know from experimenting in college, before I was married, that I am not really attracted to feminine women. This realization lead me to the wrong conclusion that I am a heterosexual who just doesn't like sex.

 

Amen. I have walked this path too. It is confusing as hell. I do not think straight people can really understand how easy it is to reach the wrong conclusion in terms of orientation. I'm so sorry you suffered through those relationships. For me, I never thought I was bi because I was not (and am not) often visually attracted to men, and the men I am attracted to are feminine. So I also figured that was straight, and I had a low libido. Dumb mistake, but understandable. We need more education so LGBT people can understand themselves better and discern who they are -- straight people often think " * * * ???" when we say we were confused or made the wrong call, but that's because sexuality can only be minimally empathized -- it is too hard wired to really be understood vicariously I think.

[Krystal_Ivy]

sex between women and men is very different.

 

EDIT: To clarify, sex between a woman and a man compared to between two women is very different.

The acts are pretty much the same but it feels different.

how does it feel different? it feels different with different men too. A mouth is a mouth.

[novaseeker]

how does it feel different? it feels different with different men too. A mouth is a mouth.

 

Men and women touch differently. A mouth is a mouth, but the gender and persona of the operator of said mouth makes a big difference, and one's own knowledge of the gender of said operator is a key driver for arousal.

[greywolf]

how does it feel different? it feels different with different men too. A mouth is a mouth.

 

A mouth isn't the only thing involved in sex. And kissing a girl feels different from a guy too.

 

Are you genuinely curious Ivy? Because this part "A mouth is a mouth" makes me feel otherwise. You may feel that a mouth is a mouth, but it doesn't mean that everyone thinks that.

[Mythical_Suicide]

I sense trouble forming.. *runs and hides*

 

I've kissed girls before and let me tell you.. A girl kisses so much more passionately than a man. Men only know so much when it comes to touching a woman and kissing a woman yes you can tell them but you can only express so much whereas a woman knows what another woman likes (same with a man..)

[Krystal_Ivy]

I don't think it depends on the gender. I think it depends on the indivigual.

[novaseeker]

I don't think it depends on the gender. I think it depends on the indivigual.

 

Yes and no. Of course individuals stand out from the generalizations, but the generalizations are still mostly valid -- certainly in my own experience, together with individual variances.

[greywolf]

I don't think it depends on the gender. I think it depends on the indivigual.

 

That could be true. Honestly I'm not an expert on sex because I've only really gone 'all the way' with my current gf. But to me girls feel softer and smoother. I think they are more beautiful as well.

I tried having sex with a guy once but I think penises are just really ugly. I was turned off. hahahahah. Giving head isn't fun either (to me anyways).

[unabashed]

how does it feel different? it feels different with different men too. A mouth is a mouth.

 

See, this is the kind of question that leaves me wondering about your motivation. You ask a personal question, a number of people offer their honest experiences, and you make a comment like this. On a forum intended for support, this feels more like prejudice in the guise of curiosity. To me.

 

Quite obviously, a mouth is not a mouth, or you would not see any issue with kissing a woman. Or anyone's mouth, if all mouths are equal. You say this isn't a debate, but your provocative questions are begging for one. Instead of trying to spotlight the aberrations and issues of others, you might learn a lot more if you looked inward and asked some questions of yourself. This is a support forum. Surely there is someplace on this site where you can actually offer whatever support you may have to give.

[greywolf]

I agree with you. I thought that perhaps I was being overly sensitive.

[greywolf]

I don't think it depends on the gender. I think it depends on the indivigual.

 

If everything depended on the individual wouldn't it be possible to say that there is no such thing as orientation?

[JadedStar]

They probably do like fem women, but most lesbians are butch thus necessity takes over.

[greywolf]

They probably do like fem women, but most lesbians are butch thus necessity takes over.

 

are they? I always thought there was an equal amount.

[unabashed]

They probably do like fem women, but most lesbians are butch thus necessity takes over.

 

umm.

 

No.

 

I find these cliches and generalizations to be prejudicial. Is that OK on this forum? I am new here. But. Man.

 

 

[novaseeker]

umm.

 

No.

 

I find these cliches and generalizations to be prejudicial. Is that OK on this forum? I am new here. But. Man.

 

 

 

I don't think it was intended that way. When I see things like that I try to post back by sharing my own views and experiences. But I don't think jaded is prejudiced, even though she may be off-base here. Her own experiences will inform her views, likely.

[unabashed]

are they? I always thought there was an equal amount.

 

I think it's true. There's someone for everyone. It's not easy to meet the right one, but that has nothing to do with orientation, does it?

[kuiks8]

Krystal are you going to answer ANYONE of the people who have asked your intention behind this thread or just continue to ignore the question?

[unabashed]

I don't think it was intended that way. When I see things like that I try to post back by sharing my own views and experiences. But I don't think jaded is prejudiced, even though she may be off-base here. Her own experiences will inform her views, likely.

 

You're right--I'll try to be a little less strident. Your comment is astute--our experiences inform our views. But, there is no license to express our views in a way that is disrespectful to others. I don't mean to be disrespectful, either.

[JadedStar]

I don't think it was intended that way. When I see things like that I try to post back by sharing my own views and experiences. But I don't think jaded is prejudiced, even though she may be off-base here. Her own experiences will inform her views, likely.

 

Thanks. No i am not prejudice at all. But it is true, many lesbian women are more butch than fem. I am not going to dance around it. Some are not...of course. But by and large if you go to a lesbian bar, and yes i have been before, the majority of gay women there are more masculine looking than fem.

I know they do not represent the entire population but its a pretty good mix to get an idea.

 

Sure some are fem but come on. We are adults here, and I am not prejudice at all to gay or bi people. I am open and liberal enough to speak candidly. if someone is offended it wasn't because I am being unduly crass. I did not intend disrespect - if it was taken that way it was not due to my being disrespectful. I meant nothing ill willed about the comment. Just most lesbians i know are more comfortable showing their masculine side. It is what it is, not a diss. Posting my own experiences.

[greywolf]

Thanks. No i am not prejudice at all. But it is true, many lesbian women are more butch than fem. I am not going to dance around it.

 

Sure some are fem but come on. We are adults here, and I am not prejudice at all to gay or bi people. I am open and liberal enough to speak candidly. if someone is offended it wasn't because I am being unduly crass. I did not intend disrespect - if it was taken that way it was not due to my being disrespectful.

 

I do agree that many lesbians have a tomboy side to them but I wouldn't go as far to say that there are more butches than femmes.

 

EDIT: Maybe it seems this way because most butches are out while many femmes/girly lesbians are either in the closet or people assume they are straight.

[Mythical_Suicide]

^ i figure its because it's usually pretty easy to spot a lesbian who is butch whereas the girly lesbians is alittle harder as you can't usually tell if they're straight or lez unless they're all up on some other female of course.

[JadedStar]

^ i figure its because it's usually pretty easy to spot a lesbian who is butch whereas the girly lesbians is alittle harder as you can't usually tell if they're straight or lez unless they're all up on some other female of course.

 

Well as i added in my last post i am even talking if you go to a lesbian bar. Most are more masculine looking. I'm not dissing them, not in the slightest.

I have lesbian friends who said they do like fem but there are not as many out there from which to choose in their dating pool.

[greywolf]

Well as i added in my last post i am even talking if you go to a lesbian bar. Most are more masculine looking. I'm not dissing them, not in the slightest.

I have lesbian friends who said they do like fem but there are not as many out there from which to choose in their dating pool.

 

It's because they are harder to find. Not because there are less of them.

Hmmm... I think if I ever went to a lesbian bar I would dress more masculine just because I could.

[Litgirl01]

It's because they are harder to find. Not because there are less of them.

Hmmm... I think if I ever went to a lesbian bar I would dress more masculine just because I could.

 

Cheeky!!!!!!!! LOL Love you lots and lots wolfie!!!! ;-)

[JadedStar]

It's because they are harder to find. Not because there are less of them.

Hmmm... I think if I ever went to a lesbian bar I would dress more masculine just because I could.

 

Why couldn't you dress that way at a regular bar?

 

Whether they are harder to find because they are not open about it or becuase there are fewer does it matter? The end result is they ARE harder to fidn for the lesbians who are out looking to get dates.