A lifetime of bad hair and now hair loss?!

[Pocket Rocket]

Warning: long hair rant to follow!

 

My hair sucks. My hair and I have horrible history together. It's naturally curly/wavy/frizzy/no idea what's going on there. When I was younger my parents decided that my hair was too much work and had it cut short - about a inch in height. So began my hair trauma. I was called 'boy' several times because I did look like one. I didn't like that so nearing my teens I decided to let it grow - from bad to worse!

 

Instead of growing down my hair grew upwards and outwards. Kids made fun of me a lot, calling me names such as 'broccoli head', 'atomic bomb' and 'fuzzy wuzzy'. I really hated my hair and as it grew longer and it became more 'triangular' in shape. I then discovered the wondrous 'scrunchy' and confined my hair to its elasticated prison for almost 4 years. At the end of that period I had it constantly in a very tight bun. I had my hair tied back so tightly the hair at my hairline and parting began to thin.

 

Eventually I let my hair grow (still tied up) until it reached the small of my back, and by then I'd had enough. I found an AMAZING hair stylist about 3 years ago who knew what he was doing and I asked him to cut my hair short (like, chin length). It was a big step for me because I never wanted to have my hair above elbow length before then. He also 'relaxed' the hair slightly (not straightened) and it thinned a little but no damage done. However, I still had to add 4 different products after washing for the hair to look decent/sculpted lol a day or two later it would (and still does) become a pile of shapeless fuzziness. I now end up tying it back anyway after the second day (max)

 

Eventually my hair stylist disappeared off the face of the planet and I am now back to tying my hair up all the time. It looks awful unless it's been just washed and styled - dry, frizzy, lifeless and very unhappy looking. I've always used very good quality products on my hair (never coloured or permed it) and it does nothing for it. I stopped putting stuff in my hair because I'm afraid chemicals may be making it worse. Because I am tying it back so much, even though I don't part my hair, I am losing hair at the parting and to the back of the crown.

 

The catch 22 situation is that if I leave it down in looks horrible (probably not rescuable by a simple haircut) but if I tie it back I lose more hair. The hair has also thinned a lot lately because I've been extremely stressed this year. I've considered having it cut short but I don't want to look any less feminine. I've also considered shaving my whole head to let the hair rest, but I have an annoying bump on the back of my head that would become visible (getting it checked out by doc soon).

 

Don't get me wrong, I like my hair when it is 'tame' but that's like 1 out of 3/4 days. I can't wash my hair all the time either because to untangle it I have to wet it and add tonnes of conditioner. Wet hair is weaker and falls out more if you brush it. Straightening it permanently is out of the question because it also induces hair loss.

 

I'm really a loss as to what to do, anyone have any suggestions?

[Kalika]

I would suggest finding another stylist and asking them that.. If it's worth it to you, ask around and try to find someone who knows how to cut curly hair (usually it's done w/ a blade).....

 

It helps to wear your hair differently so it won't keep pulling at the same areas. Also, keep up with your nutrition.. lots of fruits, veggies and a daily vitamin can't hurt.

 

Here I am giving you advice, and my hair is falling out as I speak too!.. ugh..........

[Clementine orange]

Hey, you're European and hats (not baseball capts) are cute on women. I'm not being trite here but, this is what I think.

Besides, it's probably not as bad as you think it is, you are bringing with you a bunch of "hair" issues from your past.

 

Oh yes, and I agree with what Kalika says too. A good stylist can make a world of difference.

[Pocket Rocket]

I would suggest finding another stylist and asking them that.. If it's worth it to you, ask around and try to find someone who knows how to cut curly hair (usually it's done w/ a blade).....

 

It helps to wear your hair differently so it won't keep pulling at the same areas. Also, keep up with your nutrition.. lots of fruits, veggies and a daily vitamin can't hurt.

 

Here I am giving you advice, and my hair is falling out as I speak too!.. ugh..........

 

Hi Kalika, thanks for the reply. I think you're right, I will have to find a good stylist here. Sadly most of the people I know with great looking curly hair get theirs done miles away or have had their hair permanently straightened there has to be a good one somewhere, no? Never had my hair cut with a blade though, will have to ask about that!

 

Yeah I've had my hair tied back many different ways, but it's now thinning overall so whichever way I tie it back hair still falls out quickly. Nutrition-wise, I'm doing well, good balance of veg, fruit, protein, carbs, fats, vit's and min's. It's just stress+pulling combined.

 

Losing hair bites big time doesn't it? do you know what's causing yours?

[odile]

Stress can definitely be a problem, as can diet. Hmm, as far as conditioner goes, I would have guess that leaving a small amount in your hair (like, not totally rinsing it out) and adding a bit to the ends would sort of weigh/tame it down a bit, so maybe you can try that, too.

[Pocket Rocket]

Hey, you're European and hats (not baseball capts) are cute on women. I'm not being trite here but, this is what I think.

Besides, it's probably not as bad as you think it is, you are bringing with you a bunch of "hair" issues from your past.

 

Oh yes, and I agree with what Kalika says too. A good stylist can make a world of difference.

 

Hi clementine orange, thanks for the reply. hehe I don't take offense at all about the hat comment. Do you mean wearing one after cutting hair or before? If I wear hats now it looks like I have poofy spaniel ears lol and the hair in the hat molds to its shape (even hats that aren't so tight), not a pretty sight when the hat comes off. Frizz also gets much worse.

 

Your right about me bringing my hair baggage into this though. I recognise that I don't have the worst hair in the world, but it hasn't been this bad in a long time, and I can see it getting worse

[Pocket Rocket]

Stress can definitely be a problem, as can diet. Hmm, as far as conditioner goes, I would have guess that leaving a small amount in your hair (like, not totally rinsing it out) and adding a bit to the ends would sort of weigh/tame it down a bit, so maybe you can try that, too.

 

Ah I used to do that when my hair was longer, it didn't work well. The hair has too much volume, it would take an anvil to weigh it down

[odile]

Maybe it's time to embrace the curly frizziness of your hair. If you are losing hair, then pulling it back tightly is definitely a no-no (this is why many ballerinas have receding hairlines, no joke!) Set it free! And it's summer. Maybe try for a cute crop at about ear length? Heck, the best thing is to find a good stylist that will help find a cut to suit your face, and ideally one that will use your full hair as an advantage, rather than something to be conquered.

[LanceVanceDance]

If your hair is falling out you should get it checked out by a dermatologist. There are many possible causes and maybe there is one you're unaware of.

[Pocket Rocket]

Odile - Thanks for the reply, I think I will have to go to find a new stylist afterall, the hair is too much maintenance as is it now and I'm starting a new job soon, so won't have time to fuss about with it. Ok now I've set my mind on cutting the bugger, it's time to pick a style. Eep

 

LanceVanceDance - I always assumed it was because of tying it back and stress, but you're right, I'm no doctor, it may be worth checking out. Thanks!

[Raiden]

No hair type is beyond redemption. The thickest, curliest, frizziest, most lifeless hair imaginable (like mine) can look good if cultivated properly.

 

If your adamant about the use of straighteners, at least seek out a good stylist who will cut it in a way in which it will both look to your liking and will be easier to maintain.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

They have some new kinds of straightening treatments that really work. I worked with a woman who had it done and she loved it.

 

I'd suggest going to a salon with a really good reputation for one consultation (even if it's expensive) to get their advice on how to straighten and/or style it. Then once you know what you need to do, you can to a less expensive salon to have the style maintained.

[JadedStar]

Well, it only seems like you are losing it at the parting and nape. It is thinning all over, you only just notice it in those places because it is spread out everywhere else.

 

You are likely just suffering from female hair loss that has nothing to do with the pony tail.

 

I suggest oging to a dermatoligist. Yep, a dermatoligist. They can assess your scalp to determine if there is a medical reason for the thinning.

[Pocket Rocket]

Raiden -You're right, if done properly, as I've seen it before, it can be fantastic. Outside of that though it's hellish. You just described exactly what I want my hair to be like though (about the stylist comment). Been doing some research and I think I've found a place nearby!

 

BeStrongBeHappy - I've heard of the Brazilian hair straightening method and it was recommended to me. It's natural and relies on heat so I don't know what it'll do for hair loss. There are a lot of people from Brazil living around my area and I've heard of a couple of good salons for hair straightening. Guess it doesn't hurt to ask for a consultation.

 

Jaded - I think going to the dermatologist may be something I'll have to do but I'm not sure this is genetic. No one in my family has problems except a cousin on my mom's side, but her hair bounced back fine. I've been tying my hair back tight for years, only recently I stopped tying it so tight. I've been cycling a lot lately as well, and I feel the helmet pulling on the hair sometimes. I think the thinning + tying hair up + years of abuse is what's making this worse. Perhaps a combination of doing something so I don't tie it so much and visiting the dermatologist to rule out all other problems could be the best thing for my hair right now.

 

Thanks again for the replies everyone!

[JadedStar]

Genetic might be latent. I have a cousin with very thinning hair and no one in the family has it, but it is still considered genetic from some recessive gene somewhere in the gene pool.

 

You have to pull your hair REALLY tight and be very rough on it to make it thin from that. I think there is some play of female pattern baldness going on if you are thinning to the degree you notice it at the part (which ANYONE who has thinning hair notices it at the part first) and the nape.

[Pocket Rocket]

Genetic might be latent. I have a cousin with very thinning hair and no one in the family has it, but it is still considered genetic from some recessive gene somewhere in the gene pool.

 

You have to pull your hair REALLY tight and be very rough on it to make it thin from that. I think there is some play of female pattern baldness going on if you are thinning to the degree you notice it at the part (which ANYONE who has thinning hair notices it at the part first) and the nape.

 

Argh I really hope that's not the case. I know there are treatments available but still, it just goes from bad to worse with the mop on my head

[laisla]

don't use styling products, use coconut oil and hair food/hair cholestoral (it's usually marketed to african americans although i think it can be used for all types of desired hair growth). massage either into your hair every couple of nights and keep this up for a few months you WILL notice a difference. be nice to your hair and don't tie it back too hard.

 

also i think it was vitamin B1 or B2 that helps hair growth. take one of those pills per day and your hair will grow more and thicker. however this makes your hair grow all over your body just a warning.