My life as a single mama to two wonderful children...

[ImThatGirl]

So happy it's the weekend....!

 

Have to get something off my chest. My daughters dad... thinking he and his fiance that moved in a month after I moved out (4 years ago) are on the outs. She hasn't been around my daughter much for that past year (since she finally got a job - she's not even around her 2 year old son who lives with them - my daughters dad does all the family stuff.)

 

Anyway - He once again cancelled on his visitation this weekend. For tonight... Fine by me - I'm relieved that my little girl will be with me. But - he is going out drinking (per his myspace..) Not concerned about his drinking either but he just seems to be lacking direction. I'm sure the pressures and responsibility's are weighing on him. But.. eh - I think he only had her for one full weekend maybe two all summer. Yet he was so upset that he'd be losing his weekly night with her starting school. He used to do so well! Hmmmm

 

And my son's dad. I called him to let him know we'd be in town - see if he wanted to have my son over for a bit. He's got things to do - call him he said. I told him he knows our plan and could call us if he has time.

 

I should add, I did invite my daughters dad to lunch after church should he find time for that. He said let him know, sounds good.

 

I just don't get.... how people can just be too busy to see their precious babies. My kids are wonderful! I'm glad that they are adjusted enough and love time with Mama rather than "counting" on their dad's and being disappointed. But sad that they don't have dad's they do count/rely on spending time with.

[ImThatGirl]

I should add in my daughters dad's defense.... He works full time, somewhat odd hours including 8 to 12 today. He also runs a landscaping business and that is what he will be doing today and tomorrow and the reason he isn't getting her (it's not just that he's going out so he doesn't want her.)

 

He'll be getting a babysitter for his little one while he landscapes as miss fiance refuses to ever be home (supposedly ALWAYS working.) So I am very relieved that he just cancelled his visit. No sense in my daughter being there with a babysitter.

 

Like I said above - I just can't imagine... being too busy.

[ImThatGirl]

I always knew that she constantly took on too much responsiblity.

Constantly involved in everyone's life, the one everyone counts on.

She prides herself on being everyone else's rock, the strong one, the one that has the most patience and tolerance.

 

She's so vibrant.

She's so loving.

The most compassionate, caring, selfless person many of us may ever meet.

Her soul is pure and she's full of light.

 

Slow down, rest, relax, take time for you.

"There's not enough time," she says.

"We have a family gathering; I have to cook."

"Your nephews, sister, nieces, someone needs me."

Please, please, please slow down... Please.

"I am fine. I feel well; I will rest tonight."

And at night, she usually did.

But her days full of activity and constant running around.

Even if nobody asked for her help, she insisted on running the program.

 

She was fortunate to get a position working from home as a caseworker for mentally handicapped individuals.

Wonderful - no more corporate world. No more office time, only meetings.

This also meant no more 9-5 hours. She would accept phone calls from client around the clock.

Even less time for rest.

 

I always feared she'd have a full blown heart attack.

Part of the reason I moved away was so she wouldn't obligate herself with my responsibilities. Telling her no thank you was never acceptable.

 

My mom had a mini stroke Friday night / Saturday morning.

She was disoriented, unable to communicate or even walk normally, unable to do normal daily tasks. "I'm just exhausted and need rest," she said. And we urged but finally accepted. Last night we insisted she go to the dr. She went this morning and called me first afterwards on her way to the emergency room. She was crying.. "I can't be sick - don't come to the hospital... don't leave work." I went anyway to support her during the emergency room visit and confirmation that she did have a mini stroke. To hold her hand but not hug her as she said that wasn't allowed because she wouldn't be able to hold it together.

 

So many of us just sitting in the lobby visiting supporting each other while tests were ran. I wanted answers - a plan of action. Of course I didn't insist... Everyone was doing their job and she had many tests throughout the afternoon. I had to leave at 4:30 to pick up my children. Why didn't I accept my many friends offers to pick them up so I could stay longer. I can be strong when I am around my family. I am "the strong one" like my mom in a way. I can be strong when I am with my children. I've cried a few times and prayed many more. Please, please Mama.... take this time to rest and get better. Please be okay.

 

--- This time... ramblings from a daughter... that isn't ready for Mom to be unwell. I hope she takes time for her now.

[ImThatGirl]

Why didn't I beg her to slow down? I know this is not my fault. But she - is everything to me. To all of us. I have friends and family to talk to. But I... I don't express pain or hurt.. I can't. Afterall, they would then worry about me. And I can't have that. (Did I mention my mom's main worry was that people would be overwhelmed with worry?) Surrounded by so many people yet I hide behind this mask that everything is good and okay.

[ImThatGirl]

Update: My mom went home today. And what did she do soon as she got home? Try to start doing some minor housework. Sigh. If I lived closer, I would have had her place spick and span. Anyway, I got onto her about it and she went to the couch to rest and watch Y & R. Haven't called her yet but I hope she continues to take it easy. She's doing great! She's such a trooper...

 

Thank goodness she's okay!

[ImThatGirl]

Ah! Been a month since I've posted here?!

 

Everything is going well.. Kids are doing great in school. They are growing too quickly!

 

My son got to spend all of this past Saturday with his dad having much fun! And no issues with his dad which was nice. Of course my son didn't stay the night with him but it was nice for his dad to actually plan an enjoyable day with him as he usually just wants to sit in the house and watch sports which my son doesn't enjoy so much.

 

My daughter... hasn't wanted to stay the night at her dad's for quite awhile. He called me to pick her up at 730 pm on Sat - she wanted Mama! We visited Sunday for the day though so the kids could swim one last time.

[ImThatGirl]

I can't believe it's been so long since I posted on this thread.

 

Just want to write about how truly adorable they have both been lately. Two little buddies they are. And just so sweet and funny! They are my life....! And a good life they make for me.

 

They made me a card last night. My daughter did the illustrating - a picture of the two of them and I.

 

My son did the writing:

 

For Mommy!

We "heart" Mama!

Captions:

Daughter - "You have the prettyist hair!"

Son - "You're the nicest!"

Me - "Thank you!"

 

On the other side:

"We Love you so very much mommy. From ... and ...."

 

They told me that they got to thinking and didn't think they'd have time to go shopping for me for Christmas or anything so they decided to make me the card.

 

I don't know... just touching and at the right time.... I am truly blessed...

[sophie274]

So SWEET ITG! That is absolutely lovely!

 

They sound like little angels - can't believe they came up with that all by themselves. That's a testament to what a great mom you are!

 

Merry (early) Christmas!