Initiating....

[orangecounty]

Hey guys, so last night I had a bit of a problem with my boyfriend. I just felt like he wasn't kissing me like he usually does and so I asked him if everything was ok? He told me that he doesn't feel that I initiate enough. It kind of threw me. We've been dating for four months. He's a few years older than me, this is my first relationship and before him I had VERY little experience in the intimacy department. I felt horrible about it and told him that I thought I had come a really long way in the past four months and that often I was just comfortable with him taking the lead because he always has. Even when we're making out, I'll try and lead and I just can't take over because he's more aggressive than I am. I still feel really sad about the whole situation. I really love him and it's bothering me a lot. I just don't know what I'm suppose to do in bed. I'm still feeling rather inexperienced and I'm still learning. Like I said, I think I'm coming a long nicely but it doesn't seem to be enough for him.

Some advice please.

[ryan123]

I think that you should just initiate more...I speak as someone whose always initiating. I've discussed it with my GF and she understood where I was coming from, like how it doesn't make me feel wanted. Kind of felt like an 'i could do without' type situation instead of an 'i want it right now, you stallion you'

 

For me it was an ego thing.

[riley123]

Don’t get too upset about it. Be glad you are with someone who can communicate their problems openly. Most guys probably would have said nothing.

 

You know the issue, now it’s up to you to take control. It sounds like once in a while he wants you to take control – trust me, there is nothing unusual about that. Guys – just like girls – want to feel like they are desired.

 

Don’t be embarrassed about attacking him when he gets out of the shower or turn that good morning kiss into something more. Just go with what feels natural.

[EQD]

it has alot to do with confidence. the good thing is that you can fake it until you get it right.

start making out with him.. and after a little bit grab his junk... and rub it like he likes it to be rubbed.. then unbutton his pants. sure the people in the resturant will look at you funny---just kidding! lol

seriously though. you've been having sex long enough, you should have a little idea as to what turns him on. just do what turns him on. what i described works on most if not all men.

[ghost69]

if u are really into him, act like it. make a move. throw him on the bed, rip his pants off, go to town. stuff like that. yes, be an animal. it's a huge turnon.

[PushingDaisies]

Most important thing to realise is he wont judge. When you are out together whisper something in his ear ... in the bedroom, instead of him saying I want you to go on top, you say I want to go on top. Take control. Its okay to stick to stuff you feel safe with for a while, as you get more comfortable doing this you will get more adventurous.

 

You dont ALWAYS have to initiate ... just surprise him sometimes.

[i_win]

Rubbing his inner thigh and "junk" as another poster described it underneath the table at dinner is awesome. Then when you get home just attack him like a rabid animal.

 

I remember I was out to dinner with my parents and I brought the gf along. This was the first time she met them mind you. And she was sitting there rubbing my crotch with my parents accross the way. There was something so wrong but so hot about that. She was a very naughty girl and I loved it.

[srssatellite]

There was something so wrong but so hot about that.

This kind of reminds me of a time when my wife (girlfriend at the time) and I were underneath some sheets and sitting around her mom and dad. We had already had an alone day which involved a lot of fooling around, but she was sticking her hands down my shorts and rubbing me. Very, very hot, regardless of how wrong it was.