allypally Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 Just wondered what people's thoughts were on the significance of meeting the parents. Is it really a big deal now? The guy I was dating asked to spend Easter at my parents place as he wanted to meet them. He also said he wanted to make a good impression (even though he didn't at all and they weren't impressed I met his mother (75 yrs old) a few weeks ago and she seemed very pleasant. Made me feel v welcome although there was a lot of tension between them and he was v impatient with her. Her husband died nearly 2 yrs ago now so she was struggling with the finances of settling his estate and he got irrate with her which didn't impress me. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 Not a good sign IMO..... A man that doesn't treat his mother well, certainly won't be treating his girl very well..... Link to comment
allypally Posted May 11, 2008 Author Share Posted May 11, 2008 I'd agree with that. He has never treated me that well either. You would have thought it would be a thumbs up on something long term, however, I haven't read anything into it. Just interested what other people's take on the meeting the parents thing is, good and bad. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 Well I think if two people plan on spending many years together, then I don't see anything wrong with meeting the parents. However if it is just two people casually dating then there really is no need. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 Not a good sign IMO..... A man that doesn't treat his mother well, certainly won't be treating his girl very well..... Wow... This post is spot on... My exhusband HATED his mother with a passion. And let me tell you...he ended up hating me too. Treated me with disrespect. Called me names. Had affairs. I could go on and on, but I won't. BIG RED FLAG LADIES...watch to see how a man treats his mother. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 Just wondered what people's thoughts were on the significance of meeting the parents. Is it really a big deal now? The guy I was dating asked to spend Easter at my parents place as he wanted to meet them. He also said he wanted to make a good impression (even though he didn't at all and they weren't impressed I met his mother (75 yrs old) a few weeks ago and she seemed very pleasant. Made me feel v welcome although there was a lot of tension between them and he was v impatient with her. Her husband died nearly 2 yrs ago now so she was struggling with the finances of settling his estate and he got irrate with her which didn't impress me. I think your parents weren't impressed with him because they sensed something wasn't quite right. We as parents have a pretty good sense of judgment and character. They knew, probably from the moment they met him that something was amiss. Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 Would not impress me either, but it's natural to get a bit irritated with someone you are realllly close with and know so well for so many years. I get irritated with my dad loads of times. I think if he doesn't give a crap about his moms well being, and isn't nice to her on a regular basis then it would be something to worry about. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 I've had it go both ways - where it was a sign of seriousness and then a sign of - nothing. Sometimes the reason was it wasn't a big deal to him or he wanted to get his parents off his back about "when are you going to meet a Nice Girl." I agree re the treatment of his mother. Link to comment
allypally Posted May 12, 2008 Author Share Posted May 12, 2008 I learnt last night that he was in fact adopted. This was after I called the whole thing off with him for the 3rd time. Every time I end it we have in-depth convos and I get to learn more about him which is extremely destructive. He said he gets on fairly well with his mother, but got on v well with his father (who died a couple of yrs ago). I guess she does irritate him as she is slow on the uptake but she is getting on in yrs and hasn't dealt with financial matters that were set up by her late husband who was an accountant and a v bright man. He has a lot of unresolved issues from previous relationships. I have got feelings for him obviously, but he needs to go and sort himself out before considering getting into a relationship .. particularly with me. He is messed up to say the least. I would like to keep him as a friend, and meet up to go running or something, but I can't cope with our lack of communication. Everything is left up to me. He was perceptive enough to say "I can see I am not giving you what you want". Link to comment
ghost69 Posted May 12, 2008 Share Posted May 12, 2008 it takes a bit for a girl to meet my mother. that's a special thing to me. Link to comment
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