Mikeps Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 So I went on a first date with this woman a few months ago. We bumped into each other at work just a couple of times and made small talk for just a couple minutes each time. We finally bumped into each other again after a few months had elapsed and we could not stop flirting with each other.....the chemistry we both felt was like we have never experienced (for each encounter mentioned above). Long story short, went to dinner and a movie and then started making out in the car. I asked her to to have sex with me, and she kept resisting, saying that we can't do it yet......but the mood was so intense that we kept kissing (I was the more aggressive one) and eventually it happened (we did it). Now a few months later, we are in love and committed to each other.....however should it be of concern that either of us put out on the first date? Link to comment
shikashika Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 i slept with a guy on the first date and we dated for 2 years.. I know people who got married who did the same. i wouldn't worry about, if it was right for you then great! Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 why are you asking us? seems like an odd question to ask if things are going great. Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 I've had that happen too - relationship lasted well over a year. However, I remember wishing that we had waited for a while - the anticipation and all that. Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 yeah, why should it be an issue when you were both into it and now happy together! Link to comment
lady00 Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 why are you asking us? seems like an odd question to ask if things are going great. Wondering the same thing. Link to comment
Rabican Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 This seems like a question you should have asked before the 3rd or 4th date before you got serious with her. IE I slept with this girl right away, if she gives it up that quickly do I have to worry.... at this point you are well past that stage so forget it, and enjoy life!! Link to comment
d24 Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 just because you got her into bed that quickly, doesn't mean she's done it before, or would do it again. If you love eachother, she won't cheat on you, and vice versa. If it's a big issue for you, talk to her about it. Figure out what you want from this post ad try and get it done so you fee more comfortable. Link to comment
Mikeps Posted May 7, 2008 Author Share Posted May 7, 2008 I guess I'm feeling insecure because she has had near 20 sexual partners (she is 38) and has told me things about her past that I wish she never had (i.e.- she was in a long distance relationship when she was 21 and saw her BF maybe 1 or 2 weeks every year for about 1-2 years and she ended up falling in bed with some guy that she grew fond of.....then eventually moved to be with the man she was cheating on). Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 I agree with those who said that they know happy marriages that started out with sex on the first date - or sex the first time they met! The issue I would have with this woman is she seems to lack some discretion - oversharing about her past sex life - and I would want to know why she chooses to do that with you. I might not be comfortable with someone who had that many sexual partners at that age, but I'd have to know more. Consider that your concern over this might be an excuse to hide from yourself some deeper concerns? If not, I wouldn't sabotage a good thing over this - after all, you were there too on that first date (not sure what your past is like, either). Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 I guess I'm feeling insecure because she has had near 20 sexual partners (she is 38) and has told me things about her past that I wish she never had (i.e.- she was in a long distance relationship when she was 21 and saw her BF maybe 1 or 2 weeks every year for about 1-2 years and she ended up falling in bed with some guy that she grew fond of.....then eventually moved to be with the man she was cheating on). are you the one who asked her for details or did she willingly volunteer? the one thing that annoys me is guys who insist on hearing the 'play by play' with every last bf, and then they get upset when they find out! 20 sexual partners for 38 isn't that bad. if she started having sex at 18, then that's 1 partner every year, on average. Link to comment
Excalibur Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 No, just means you're not with someone that has sex/love/lust/heat/physical gratification intertwined and confused..which is a good thing. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 you are having a great relationship, don't question it. and NEVER ask a girl to have sex with you when you are all heated. it will more than likely just happen. Link to comment
amtjrtcet Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 So I went on a first date with this woman a few months ago. We bumped into each other at work just a couple of times and made small talk for just a couple minutes each time. We finally bumped into each other again after a few months had elapsed and we could not stop flirting with each other.....the chemistry we both felt was like we have never experienced (for each encounter mentioned above). Long story short, went to dinner and a movie and then started making out in the car. I asked her to to have sex with me, and she kept resisting, saying that we can't do it yet......but the mood was so intense that we kept kissing (I was the more aggressive one) and eventually it happened (we did it). Now a few months later, we are in love and committed to each other.....however should it be of concern that either of us put out on the first date?[/QUOTE] Heck no it shouldn't matter! Who cares if you both put out on the first date?!?! If you're happy then what would it matter.....Be glad you found some one you truly care about...don't be so concerned about what society 'expects' you to do or what other people have told you is appropriate. That's what's wrong with this world. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 If things are going great, like annie i have to ask why ask us? LOL These things normally don't end well but that would be BEFORE you actaully start seeing each other. ONce two people actually start dating the longevity of the relationship isn't really dependent upon how fast you slept together you will just go thru the same bumps as normal couples. Link to comment
Mikeps Posted May 7, 2008 Author Share Posted May 7, 2008 are you the one who asked her for details or did she willingly volunteer? the one thing that annoys me is guys who insist on hearing the 'play by play' with every last bf, and then they get upset when they find out! 20 sexual partners for 38 isn't that bad. if she started having sex at 18, then that's 1 partner every year, on average. She started at 15 and was married from 27 to 37. Link to comment
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